Title: Trust

Characters: Alphonse

Genre: Slice of Reality

Type: Cannon

Words: 1,485 (Without AN and Introduction)

Trust:

(noun) reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence

The ceiling still remained faceless as time slowly started to tick past him, thoughts keeping him from the peaceful abyss of sleep. He was waiting, waiting for something abnormal, waiting for something grotesque, waiting for the expected hallucination of one of the faces of his nightmares to shift and twist and swirl the faceless piece of wall above him into its shape while it taunted him by voicing his deepest fears and most selfish wishes.

A few seconds later the ceiling started to morph, as if fueled by his thoughts, and he forced his gaze to look somewhere else. He knew this wouldn't stop the taunting whispers as they were now beginning to invade the edges of his mind, however he didn't find it as disturbing as watching the moving face.

Ignoring its hateful cold gaze, he listened as the bed creaked as he turned his head, his vision in line with the sleeping form of his brother. White walls glowed as moonlight was reflected from the clear glass of the windowpanes, bending at the right angle, bathing his brother in its gentle rays. The hardwood floors were drenched by black shadows as they crawled to the edge of his brother's bed, as if creating a cradle of despair. The hand built stool stood alone in the sea of darkness, void of its usual bright presence.

A couple times, he had caught Winry sneaking into their room, usually similar to nights like this when sleep refused to come to him. He never said a word to her, keeping his mouth closed. Instead he would just stay still and watch her.

First, she would first peak her head into the room to see if the inhabitants of the room were asleep. If they weren't, she would silently leave as easily as she came. By fate of chance, if she thought they were, she would enter the room. As silently as she could, she would move across the floor as shadows draped her feet like silk. Quietly, she would sit down on the stool that she had placed before his brother's bed.

As if on cue, the moon would lift its curious head and like his brother she would be bathed in its bright rays, her blonde hair aglow. She never failed to remind him of an angel and sometimes he felt that if he watched long enough wings would sprout from her back and she would fly to a land that no human could reach. Of course, they never appeared much to the delight of his logical side.

He knew the next movements by heart. She was going to slowly extend her pale arms and her fingers would clutch his brother's hand a flesh. She would then pull it forward so his fingertips rested on her beating heart, the muscles in her arm moving in a fluid motion as she pulled her elbows in. This never failed to bring tears to his eye. She would stay the whole night and refuse to leave until the moon was back in its resting place and dawn was spreading rays of bright crimson over the world, the only proof that she was once there was by the sunken cushion of the stool.

He had known for years that Winry was enamored with his brother. Even though she had done an excellent job of concealing it, he still could see the little signs. The way her tone would soften and flow like honey, how her lips would twitch into a small smile. Whenever he walked into a room, her eyes immediately fell upon him and he became the center of her attention. He would watch the way her eyes followed his every movement, especially the way his muscles stretched and flexed under the thick fabric of his pants, the way his left leg would sink just a little closer to the ground, the way his hair swayed gently on his shoulder like a ticking clock.

There was no doubt in his mind that Winry would still love his brother, if he was the one whose soul was trapped in a suit of armor. It was obvious that Winry had loved Ed since they were children and that her love had been growing ever since. So, out of pure spite or mental suffering, he wished his brother was the one with the soul trapped in a full body of armor. He wished he could feel the pain he was going through, to be living but not living, to exist but not exist, to only sense but not feel.

He held the selfish belief that if he had a body composed of flesh and metal that he could also attract a pretty girl who could fall in love with him and would find the mix of artificial limbs and flesh attractive. However, his guilt, which refused to stay quiet, told him that the chances were unlikely. Women always went after his brother's type. They weren't attracted to intelligence or polite manners or cooking because they wanted a wild unruly man with the sauntering strut and a crooked grin that could make their hearts swoon.

Behind the layers of selfish wishes and loneliness, the true reason he wanted a body of flesh was to have the sense of touch, taste and smell. Of course when one was a body of armor they didn't need all those extra senses for they were only needed for people with the necessary parts.

On their travels, sometimes as a thank you for their hospitality, he would cook for the people that allowed them to stay at their home. Once when Ed was exploring the house with their host, he was in the kitchen cooking dinner. It was a crazy thought, one that had come and gone, one that he had wondered about during late nights when sleep had evaded him once again.

Under blind impulse, he stuck his entire hand into the burning flame that came from the stove. The flames, not hot enough to melt the metal of his fingers, surround them, flickering in colors of blue, red and orange as they tried with all their might to destroy the item that would dare enter their sanctuary. Being the sensible person he was, he removed them before his hand became unable to cook with.

Just to be certain, he would put his fingers under cold water, the coldest the sink would allow him, and he would watch and listen as to the metal would steam and hiss in his face. Sadly, he couldn't feel the heat of the flame or the icy cold of the water as they both tried to attack and destroy his artificial hand.

Once again the crazy dark whispering thought in his head was proven wrong. His arm hadn't mysteriously developed extra senses and he still felt as empty and hollow as he started out. Even he couldn't understand such a logic loving person as himself would even dare acknowledge the thought, let alone believe it. However, he believed in alchemy and alchemy always loved to spring surprises on its users.

In the dark corners of his mind he knew that the experiment was much more than an unfruitful hope. He wanted to go back into the past. He wanted to be younger, with a body of flesh, bones and blood instead of a soul in an empty shell of armor. He wanted to feel human. He wanted to see the world as if he was younger, joy brimming at the sight of places unexplored and mystical.

He knew that only one person that could grant him his wish and that was his brother. His other family members on their mother's side were all dead, their father had been gone for so long that he was sure he was dead too, and they had no idea who was on their father's side. But he knew that his brother, even though he could be highly selfish at times, loved him with every fiber of his body and was fighting so hard to get them back the body they knew they deserved.

So he had decided to invest his time and his heart into his brother's life mission, into his permanent goal. He was going to rid himself of any logic that told him the chance that they would get their respected body or body parts back was impossible and despite everything and everyone who had gone out of their way to prove them wrong. So he was going to do the one thing he knew that would never be able to do with anyone else, he was going to put all his trust into his brother, because he knew if there was any road that he could take, the one with his brother was always the best.

Author's notes: I can only imagine the list of people who are really mad at me right now. So anyway, I at first didn't like this drabble and now that I have reread it after taking a break I am quite proud of it. So my question to you is what is your opinion?