She took a deep breath of fresh air as she stared up at the castle in the distance. Her mind was racing - how stupid had she been to go toe to toe with Marlene Matthis. This summer had been the worst one since she had been dropped off at the orphanage by her mother when she was five.
Marlene had been brought back to the London orphanage from a long-term home she had been in for the past five years. The reason had been because of the Dark Lord - he was interested in the orphans of Hogwarts. There weren't many, maybe a handful? A dozen at most. But, they were obviously muggles who had some sort of wizarding blood in them. They were easy prey for Death Eaters who wanted to rack up their killed muggles/mudblood levels. Dumbledore had decided that if they were all put in one or two orphanages they could protect one another and also limit the amount of muggle orphans killed if the Death Eaters attacked. That had meant that Marlene had to leave her home and return back to the orphanage. Which had not went over well, Marlene felt that she had succeed from getting out under the omnipresent Lynn and having a relatively normal life, with a normal family. Now she was back in the long halls of beds, the communal showers, and the food that had even made the cooks husband, a military man, gag commenting he'd rather eat the freeze dried meals the military provided instead of what they had to eat.
On top of that, all freedom was gone. Marlene had been used to walking around the muggle village on her own and having a little bit of pocket change to buy herself something. Now they were surround by Lynn, her religious ideology, and being reminded day in and day out how they as women were sirens that would throw men off course, the best thing they could do was go into a field like housekeeping or cooking and try to redeem themselves from whatever sins their parents had that had caused them to show up on the orphanage doorsteps.
"You must remember" Lynn's voice echoed "That as orphan girls, you are more apt to ruining families than girls brought up in proper families. Your mother's obviously came from the same background as you, they however did not have a firm hand guiding them towards proper employment and away from men. They thought they were in love or thought a child would solidified an engagement and out came you, they were put on the streets, and you were put here. We are trying to break that cycle"
Trying to break the cycle by reminding them how bothersome they were. Lynn didn't miss an opportunity to remind the girls how they could ruin proper men with their deceitfulness and how they would never be successful at anything. The whole goal of Lynn's orphanage was to have you recognize that you had to pay for your parents and possibly even your grandparents sins by devoting your life to celibacy and caring for someone else in order to break said cycle. Ideally, you'd go get yourself fixed like you were a dog and not reproduce.
On top of the Marlene and Lynn stuff, Charlotte and Rose had been worried about turning 18. At 18 the orphanage kicked you out - whether or not you had a place to go. That meant that as of November 10 1977 Rose would no longer have a place to call home and as of August 31 1978 Charlotte would no longer have a place to live. They had been in a perpetual stressed mood since watching Vivian be kicked out of the house. Vivian was handed 200 pounds and been pushed out the door - her fate was hers now. Where she was going to sleep, how she was going to make a living, or eat was now her problem. They had heard her sobbing and begging, pleading for one extra week to see how a job interview went to be an au pair in France. But, Lynn would hear nothing of it and had shoved her out the door.
Charlotte didn't doubt that Marlene was just as stressed as the rest of them, which had probably been the point of her comment. Dickens had always been code for the orphanage - the orphanage was far from the ones written about in Dickens novels. It was still a loveless place that gave the children the bare minimum needed to survive before pushing them out onto the streets as an 18th birthday present. The fairy Godmother and Prince Charming comment was code for nice mothers and fathers and/or a boyfriend who would protect them. Naturally, when you were a child you dreamed that someone would show up on the doorsteps of the orphanage and explain to Lynn, the head of the orphanage, that your being there had resulted in some cruel and unusual circumstances and that you had many loving people searching for you.
It rarely happened. Only once in Charlotte's 11 years at the orphanage had someone been picked up by a parent. Once. Most of them were products of affairs, hence the breaking the cycle comments from Lynn.
Charlotte sighed as she started walking back towards Hogwarts, she had a meeting with Professor McGonagall tomorrow to go over her career choices. The idea was to look into some mixed careers, ones that could be used in both the muggle and magical world, but would require additional studying at a muggle university. One such career was to become a lawyer. Wizarding Lawyers needed to know the muggle laws because every now and then they would be called into a muggle court because a wizard got him or herself in trouble. Or they would be needed to explain to a muggle parliament member or prime minister why they couldn't do something they wanted to do. Apparently an Amelia Bones, who had been the head girl in Charlotte's second or third year was currently finishing up or had just finished up at Oxford and was now seeking employment at the Wizengamot, but had enough training to fall back on a Muggle barrister job if needed.
McGonagall had stressed to Charlotte, that while she felt Charlotte could do bigger and better things - going to a university would promise her three years of room and board and she could work part-time saving up some money before she needed to move out into the real world. McGonagall had no doubt that Charlotte's grades were good enough for a muggle university, she was just worried that Charlotte was only going for survival and not for a career.
"Oi Charlotte!" Charlotte whirled around to see Sirius running to catch up with her. His smile was intoxicating. The two of them had probably spoken more in the past day then they had much of their career at Hogwarts. He was the arch-nemesis, James #2, who would do anything to help James gain access to the trinity (as Lily, Gwen, and Charlotte were called by the Marauders). The name had started as somewhat of a joke by Marlene since Charlotte and Lily and to a lesser extent Gwen were prudish. They had been the last girls to start dating, snogging, and even having sex.
The girls had made a pact in their third year they would never date the Marauders. Yet, it had been Remus who had done it, and probably only Remus could have done it. Now Lily and Charlotte were unwilling members of the Marauders parties because they had to support Gwen - and they liked Remus.
"Black" Charlotte grumbled as she quickly thought of a way to get rid of him. It was nearly an hour if not hour and a half to get back to Hogwarts and she wasn't really in the mood for his banter or his I'm too good for all this attitude. Yet, Sirius remained silent as they walked through the village.
It wasn't until they could see Hogwarts that Sirius broke the silence "I wanted to apologize for Mar's comment. She really had no reason to call you out for being a virgin." Charlotte raised her eyebrows, of course she had been grouchy all summer that Rose and Marlene talked about sex nonstop, and of course she was irritated with the fact that she hadn't had it yet, but she didn't think it was something that Black needed to apologize for.
"I would have never guessed, if that's any consolation." Black smirked, Charlotte opened her mouth to retort with something along the lines of - it doesn't fucking matter or your opinion doesn't mean shit to me - but instead closed her mouth knowing fully well that as much as she tried to push it out of her mind Sirius Black was a handsome guy and two she had already put her foot in her mouth with Marlene tonight she might as well try to not piss anyone else off.
Charlotte decided silence was the best answer to that comment. "Truly, though" Black started again "Weren't you dating Davos last year? I heard he is kinda pushy."
Again Charlotte chose silence, Sirius was pushing his luck and Charlotte had to remind herself how much she wanted Gwen and Remus to succeed. They were perfect for each other: She was hotheaded and stubborn, he was calm and patient, they both felt like they were outcasts and they both enjoyed the same subjects in school.
"I mean, just let me know did Davos have issues...you know?" Sirius whispered a hint of humor coming out. Charlotte whirled around staring Black in the face, she had tried her hardest to keep her anger and frustration in control. But, Sirius was pushing too many damn buttons. But, before Charlotte could open her mouth to start telling Sirius where he could shove his opinions and his questions. His mouth was on hers and his arm were pulling her closer to him. For a moment Charlotte resisted, but the moment he nipped on her bottom lip she was done. She didn't know how long they stood their snogging, her feet were rooted to the ground and Sirius was holding her upright. Wouldn't this be a sight for Marlene or Kitty to see, coming back towards Hogwarts and seeing SIrius and Charlotte kissing?
Sirius and Charlotte kissing? Her body finally reacted shoving him off her and glaring at him. Sirius however was smirking as he watched Charlotte's face screw up to start yelling at him. "Don't yell Lottie" Sirius whispered stepping closer to her "Wouldn't want Filch to find us would we?"
Charlotte's voice was lost in her throat as she contemplated the detention. On one hand she wasn't worried on the other hand she was certain that it may require more time spent with Sirius cleaning trophies or cleaning a room in the dungeon. She decided storming back to the castle in silence was the best option.
"Lottie" Sirius said trying to catch up to her. Lottie, Charlotte thought, nobody had ever called her that. She was either Char, Charlotte, or Grey.
"What?!" Charlotte turned around glaring at Sirius. He nearly ran into her not expecting her to stop dead in her tracks. His hand went absentmindedly to his neck rubbing the back of his neck. Charlotte knew it was something that Sirius did when he was nervous. When he was stressed he would typically grip the back of his neck or his hair with both hands.
"Maybe we should talk?" Sirius asked, his voice quivered a little between confidence and timid.
"About what?" Charlotte said growing annoyed, all she had wanted this evening was to have a good time, forget her problems and maybe talk over her issues with Lily and Gwen. Instead Gwen had dragged them to this party and then decided to be lip locked with Remus the whole night. Lily had scampered away to a corner trying to be a good friend, but not have James see her. That left Charlotte all by herself, pissing Marlene off and somehow ending up kissing Sirius Black.
"Well..." Sirius said trailing his voice off as his head jerked to the side of the castle. "Shit" he whispered grabbing Charlotte's hand and pulling her towards the Quidditch fields.
"What the hell?" Charlotte said trying to pull her hand away. But, Sirius was tapping on the wall of the castle and a door had appeared.
"In" he whispered pushing Charlotte down some stairs, before he came in Charlotte saw Sirius shoot off a Patronous towards the Shrieking Shack.
"What the hell, Sirius?" Charlotte snapped glaring at Sirius as he pushed past her, he turned around facing her and smiling before planting a quick kiss on her lips and continuing down the stairs.
"Coming Grey?" Sirius called as he jumped down the five steps, Charlotte groaned of course she was coming. Obviously, someone was on patrol outside the castle, she wasn't exactly interested in getting caught by Filch or Flitwick. She followed Sirius down the corridor and watched him push open the back of a portrait. As Charlotte caught up to him she realized he was stepping into the kitchens. Charlotte paused as she raised her eyebrows towards Black. "How do you know about this place?"
"Does it really matter right now?" Sirius asked still holding his hand out to her.
"Yes, it does" Charlotte snapped folding her hands over her chest and refusing to move. She watched Sirius sigh as he stared at Charlotte, his eyes were sparkling.
"We get hungry alot, had to find different ways to get down here." Sirius answered. Charlotte had a feeling that he was lying, but the smell of the kitchen was drawing her in. She hadn't eaten much at the feast, mainly because they had been sitting with the Marauders and she had lost her appetite when Sirius had started talking about the life of the dead animals on the table had had before being butchered to be eaten.
"I promise I won't name the food again" Sirius said his lips twitching up into a smile. Charlotte hated when Sirius would do this. It was like he could read her mind.
"Fine" Charlotte huffed as she stepped into the portrait and Sirius reached up for her to help her down. Charlotte pushed his hands away and jumped down the 10 feet or so to the floor. Charlotte hated the smirk on Sirius face.
"How may we help you sir and ma'am?" A house-elf asked as he watched the two intruders.
"We'd like some food and some pumpkin juice." Sirius replied
"If you have soup..." Charlotte started, but before she could finish she saw the house-elves lugging over a huge cauldron of soup. "Not that much" she whispered more to herself, but her face was burning with embarrassment.
Charlotte heard Sirius's bark like laugh as he settled himself down on one of the tables "They enjoy this" he said nodding towards the face of the house-elves "They live to serve us." Charlotte felt her stomach drop. House-elves were what Lynn thought she was worth. All she'd be good for was to be somebodies housekeeper, governess, or cook.
"What's wrong Lot?" Sirius asked as he crooked his head a little bit.
"Nothing" Charlotte mumbled as she took a seat at the bench, Sirius was sitting on the table looking down at her, his damn smile was still on his face as he leaned his head onto his hand.
"They enjoy this" Sirius reiterated. Charlotte smiled weakly as she stirred her soup watching the steam drift upwards. Sirius had opened up a pumpkin juice and they sat in silence for a few minutes. "So, Gwen and Remus" Sirius finally said looking down at Charlotte trying to read her expression.
"Yep" Charlotte said, she hadn't had much time to process the fact that Gwen and Remus were going out. She had just found out yesterday on the train to Hogwarts and honestly she was happy for them. Remus was a sweet guy who wasn't running around with every girl at Hogwarts. To be quite honest Charlotte couldn't remember Remus with anyone before this.
"And James is trying to win Lily over" Sirius stated still watching Charlotte
"Yep" Charlotte repeated now looking up at Sirius, she wasn't sure she liked where this line of questioning was going. She really just wanted to go to bed, she didn't have the will to play 21 questions with Sirius - she wanted to process why he kissed her and start thinking about what she needed to do to get into a muggle university.
"So that leaves us" Sirius said smirking.
"What do you mean us?" Charlotte asked, she couldn't help but feel her stomach flip.
"Well to hang out." Sirius winked.
"Hang out? Don't you have Peter?" Charlotte asked silently wishing she knew how to get back to the Gryffindor common room without Sirius being able to find her.
Sirius scoffed as he slid down to the bench, his side was pressed against hers and he was leaning against the table watching her. "Peter and I have a lot of differences - plus I'm looking for female companionship."
"So why not Kitty or Marlene?" Charlotte questioned.
"I don't know" Sirius whispered his head moving towards hers, Charlotte broke eye contact staring back at her soup. "I guess, after I kissed you I thought - hell let's have some fun."
"Fun?" Charlotte asked.
"Whatever you'd like" Sirius answered.
"You know Lily would hate this." Charlotte said, she didn't know why she was saying this - Lily shouldn't be a factor into what she wanted. "Or what if I wanted to have fun with Peter?" Charlotte couldn't believe the words rolling off her tongue, it's like she was trying to tease him - when in reality she just wanted to get away from him.
"She doesn't need to know" Sirius whispered into Charlotte's ear "No strings attached, fun times. Plus..." Sirius said this time his mouth was cupping her ear, his fingers running up and down her arm. "I don't think Peter can make you feel like this."
What the hell? Charlotte thought as she stared at Black in the kitchen leaning towards her. What did she have to lose. If anything this would just piss Marlene off, and that was a plus. Also, up until about a day ago she was unsure if Black even knew she was a girl. Black knew her as Charlotte the Catcher on the Quidditch team with James and Gwen. Black was a beater, but outside of that their conversations had been very limited.
"Okay" Charlotte replied, she didn't know why she was saying Okay. She should have told Sirius to fuck off and stormed off, but his damn eyes, his smile, his whole body reeked of bad choices. If Charlotte was being honest with herself, she would tell herself that the pact against dating Marauders was all fine and dandy at 13, but puberty had done wonders on them.
"Alright" Sirius smirked leaning in to kiss Charlotte again "Whatever you want, I won't push you, and we'll keep this between us?"
"Of course" Charlotte replied feeling Sirius mouth on hers. God she thought this isn't going to end well.