Chapter 3: Leo and the Infinite Sadness

Update:
Leo – Status:
Sakura – Status: Missing (may be in garlic bread closet)

Niles – Status: Can't beat Wild Guns for SNES
Elise – Status: Not a morning person
Hinata – Status: Wants his burrito, now!
Young Dwyer – Status: Substitute Leo (for Hinata and Selkie)
Selkie – Status: Technically an adult
Corrin – Status: Unwitting matchmaker
Oboro – Status: Skipped Chapter 2
Camilla - Status: Assistant manager at Greg's Videos
Velouria - Status: Probably also an adult
Luna - Status: Phoning it in

Odin Dark – Status: Pocket change
Benny Lee - Status: Making it rain (coins)
Evil Exes #3-7 – Status: Unknown

Leo paced around his apartment. "I don't get it. It's been a week, where is she?" Dingdingdingdingdingding! "Huh?" Leo pulled out his cell phone. "Hello?"

"Hi Leo, it's Camilla! How are you?"

"Uh, I've been better. Why are you calling?"

"Because you never tell me anything! Leo, I had no idea you had a new girlfriend!"

Leo sighed. "Well… I do." His eyes shifted back and forth. "You wouldn't happen to know where she is right now, would you?"

"I didn't even know she existed until this morning, Leo," Camilla told him. "But why not ask Corrin? She seems to know everyone."

Leo sighed. "All right… Thanks…"

"I love you!" she said in anticipation. Leo sighed again.

"I love you too…" he mumbled. Leo hung up. Without a moment to lose, he dialed Corrin's number. "Corrin? It's Leo."

A groan was audible. "What did he do?"

"What? No! I mean you're talking to Leo!"

"Okay. What did you do?"

"Oh come on! Look, I have some things I need to tell you, so I'm coming over to Stahlbucks. Okay?" Corrin was about to protest, but Leo gave her no opportunity.

Leo barged into the coffee shop. "Okay Corrin, I have some questions-"

"Leo?!" Oboro asked behind the counter. The boy gasped.

"Oboro?! What did you do with my sister?!"

Knock, knock, knock Leo looked out the window and saw Corrin wearing a jacket over her sweater, mouthing that she needed to go somewhere. Leo sighed and went up to the counter.

"Well, as long as I'm here…"

Oboro rolled her eyes. "Yeah, what the [BLEEP] do you want?" Leo stared curiously at the black bar that appeared over Oboro's mouth. "What? What are you [BLEEP] looking at?"

"How are you doing that with your mouth?"

"None of your [BLEEP] business how I'm doing it! By the way, nice job not listening to my [BLEEP] warning not to ask Sakura out!" Oboro scolded. "The [BLEEP] is wrong with you?!"

Leo glared. "So can I get a decaf or something?!" He slammed down a sack of gold coins. Oboro sighed and took the money, then went to prepare the drink.

"You know, it's about high [BLEEP] time you looked in the mirror, Leo! You keep messing with girls, sooner or later it'll come back and get you." She smirked privately. "By the way, I heard the girl that [BLEEP] you up is back in town at the beginning of next month."

"…I heard. I'll just go wait for my drink." Leo stepped aside and bumped into none other than Sakura. "Whoa!"

"Ah! H-hi, Leo…"

"Sakura, uh… Where have you been?" he asked.

Sakura blushed. "I… I didn't want to hang around there. It… The fight with Odin happened so fast, so I couldn't leave, but… I don't like seeing these fights." She gripped her wrist. "It just reminds me of all my mistakes."

To that, Leo shrugged. "Well hey. At least it makes two of us now. My evil ex is coming back to town soon," he told her.

"The big ex?" asked Sakura. "You never… you never told me how that went, you know…"

Leo scratched the back of his neck. "It's kind of personal. I'd rather not talk about it…"

"Um… With all due respect," Sakura started, "I had to watch m-my first boyfriend make a fool of hims-self and me, in front of everyone… at the cupcake place. Why can't you… just tell me about your breakup?"

He sighed. "Fair enough. But honestly? I only remember parts of it." Leo's eyes went from Sakura to the scenery all around the café. "This is going to sound weird, but my memories of high school and university are a little fuzzy."

Sakura did not buy it. "Come on, Leo. You can tell me, can't you?"

"Seriously! I only remember bits of it here and there." Leo went over to the part of the counter where he would receive his drink, and tapped his fingers on it. "I was a commuter student, I met Hinata and Oboro, we met Luna, I dated her, she was cool, then she wasn't, I wore my shirt wrong, and she broke my heart."

"Luna?"

"That's her 'new' name," Leo said with a derisive eye roll. "Back then, she was Selena. I wonder if it's because she changed her hair," he mused. "I never trusted redheads…"

Sakura gasped. "L-Leo!"

"Huh? Oh! Uh, w-well you're more of a pink than red, that… that doesn't count!" He sweat. "Uh, I meant redheaded Nohrians… yeah…" Then he winced. "Wait, Luna isn't even from Nohr… And I just turned this into an ethnic thing. Uhh…" Oboro walked over to the counter and slammed Leo's cup down. "Huh?!"

"There's your [BLEEP] coffee."

Leo roamed about the dreamscape. This time it was not as snowy, some had melted, and a few flowers were visible. Leo's face had a small smile as he took in the scenery… until a pink and white blur charged for him.

"Whoa!" Leo jumped over the attacker. As he did, he saw that it was a feminine figure in a white coat, with a Kitsune mask, long brown hair, and a samurai sword. Leo landed back on his feet. "Great, now I'm having dreams about fighting!"

The attacker turned around and charged at Leo again. The boy glared. "Okay that's enough!" He crouched down this time, and punched upward. "Get lost!"

"Aaah!" The mystery person fell into the slush, and her mask fell off. Leo walked closer as he saw the samurai lying down, clutching her chest. "Ow! You punched me in the boob!"

"Aaah!" Leo looked as his hand and shook it. "Well… you attacked me out of nowhere!"

The girl stood back up and grabbed her mask. "Prepare to die obviously!"

"Wait, as in, the manner of my death will be obvious?" He sighed. "Whatever. Look, you're just a figment of my imagination, I'm not in the mood for this."

The samurai narrowed her eyes. "That's what you think this is? Whatever. I'll just let him take care of you. He'll be in for a rude awakening! And then you're mine! And next time, I'll be serious, next time!"

"What?"

"Shut up!" She put her mask back on and threw down a smoke bomb.

"Aaah!" Leo shot awake.

Niles woke up too, wearing a birthday party hat. "Leo, what's wrong?"

Other Leo woke up beside Niles. "Let me guess: Luna."

"Actually, we don't use that name in this house," Niles told Other Leo.

Silas woke up beside Other Leo. "Hey guys, what're we talking about?"

Leo shook his head and stood up. "Ugh, I had another weird dream. Must be all the stress from my ex coming back. But you know what?" Leo turned to Niles and his bedmates. "I don't need to worry! That was a long time ago! I'm with Sakura now, and she makes me happier than Luna ever did!"

Niles nodded approvingly, thus Leo looked to the ceiling.

"From this moment on, I refuse to let Luna hold me back!"

"You agreed to have us open for Luna's band?!" Leo asked.

The members of Rockin' Troopas all gathered on Young Dwyer's bed as the roadie himself browsed on the computer. Hinata looked at Leo. "Dude, this is gonna be great for the Rockin' Troopas! River City Ransom is popular! And we know their singer and drummer!"

Leo winced. "Yeah, but…"

"I thought you said you were over it!" Elise reprimanded. "Come on, Leo! It'll be fun!" She turned to the computer. "Isn't that right, Young Dwyer?"

"Meh."

Month: May

Location: A club (Leo's Note: Get club's name from Hinata later)

The Troopas finished performing at the club, and Hinata took the mic. "Yeah… Uh, we're the Rockin' Troopas." In the back, Niles and Other Leo gave token whoops. Hinata nodded. "Yeah, so… We don't have any merch or anything, but-"

"GET OFF THE STAGE!"

"Okay."

The Troopas got off stage and made their way to the bar area. Hinata looked over at Elise. "You know you're not old enough for any of this, right?"

"I turned 20 in March, Hinata!"

"Oh yeah." Hinata rested his elbows on the counter, cradling his head. "Man… Did we suck?"

Sakura sat on a stool beside Leo. "I… I think you could've been worse…"

Hinata gulped. "I need a drink!"

Elise squinted. "Hey is that Young Dwyer over there? Who's he with?" Leo and Sakura turned their heads. "On that couch over there." To Leo's surprise, Young Dwyer was with Selkie. She looked to be having the time of her life talking to Young Dwyer, though he dully stared forward. She looked over at Leo and gasped. Quickly, she tried to kiss Young Dwyer, but he absently inched his head further away from her. "Is he dating Selkie now?" Elise asked. "Y'know, I thought I saw a spark between them!"

"Ladies and gentlemen! Prepare for… River City Ransom!"

Leo, Sakura and Elise turned around. Onstage were the famous band. The guitarist was a pretty man wearing a white and cyan long jacket and pants, but no shirt. He had mahogany hair in the style of a ponytail. The drummer wore a leather jacket and headband under her powdery blue hair. Then the singer strutted out in tight leather, with her red twintails trailing behind her.

Name: River City Ransom

Luna (Selena) (The Singer)
Status: Wants to make Leo feel awkward
*
Beruka (The Drummer)
Status: Wants to blend in behind her drums
*
Subaki (The Guitarist)
Status: Wants to avoid any wrong notes

"Oh no," Sakura whispered.

Elise looked over. "What?"

"I… I used to date that guy…"

Leo sighed, while Elise smiled. "What a coincidence! Leo used to date the singer!"

Leo moaned, as the band started playing. Luna held the mic close to her mouth and stalked around the stage.

"You cornered me to say, 'Oh how can you live that way?'"
"You think I'm wrong with my pride. But let me tell you, I am justified…."
"Look to my left and you'll see where I tried! Look to my right to see the crimes!"
"Look through my past and you'll see all the lies I've lied, and why I'm justified!"
"Justified!"
"Justified!"
"And why I'm justified!"

Long after the crowds had dispersed, the Troopas, Sakura, Young Dwyer and Selkie were the only ones left.

"That was soooo good!" Selkie praised. Young Dwyer shrugged.

"Eh. They're better live."

"That was live!"

"Was it? Oh."

Oboro walked out onto the empty stage. "Hey. I don't know why, but Luna invited you all into the greenroom."

Leo winced, and Elise punched his shoulder. Everyone else went backstage, with Selkie and Young Dwyer bringing up the rear.

"How do these guys know Luna?!" Selkie asked.

Young Dwyer shrugged. "Eh. We all knew each other in college. Oh, and Leo dated her before."

":O"

THE GREENROOM

From nearest to farthest on the left side, Leo, Sakura, Elise, and Selkie sat on one couch, with Young Dwyer hunched and standing beside it. On the opposite couch, from nearest to farthest, sat Luna, Subaki, Oboro and Hinata. Beruka reclined against the wall.

"It's been a while, Leo," Luna greeted. "How've you been?"

"Um… F-fine."

Subaki looked upon Sakura. "And you seem well, Sakura."

Her face turned pink. "W-well… you know…"

"Hey, is there an ulterior motive for all this?" Hinata asked Luna. "I mean… we kinda left on bad terms…"

"Um," Selkie's interruption caused Luna, Subaki and Oboro to all glare at her. Hinata merely stared. "I… I read your blog, Luna! It sounds like you guys have a lot of fun touring!"

Oboro changed the subject. "So Luna, Beruka told me you guys played with Wild Guns back in Cheve. That's pretty big!"

"They played Wild Guns together?" Young Dwyer asked. Elise shook her head.

"No, she's talking about the band, Wild Guns."

"Yeah, it was okay," Luna told Oboro. "They're so behind us, though. A lead guitarist and a bassist? Subaki can do both at once!"

"That's true," Subaki said with a nod. He smugly grinned at Leo, while Hinata laughed awkwardly.

"Well… y'know… it's all about the music in the end, right?"

Oboro elbowed him. "Shut up, you're gonna embarrass me in front of Luna!"

Selkie gasped. "Wait! Luna! I kissed the lips that kissed your lips! We're Lip Sisters!"

Achievement Unlocked: Sisterhood of the Mouth

"Enough." Beruka got off the wall and approached Selkie. "Shoryuken." With a spinning uppercut, the drummer punched Selkie in the face, knocking the pink streak out of her hair, and sending her to the floor. Young Dwyer gasped and got onto his knees.

"Ow…"

"She punched the highlights out of her hair…" He turned up to Leo, Sakura and Elise in horror. "She punched the highlights, out of her haaaaair!"

"Do you surrender now?" Beruka asked. Luna waved her hand.

"Okay, now you're just showing off. Both of you leave!"

"Wait, me?" Young Dwyer asked. "Why?"

"Just go!"

Subaki opened his eyes wide and the door to the greenroom opened. Beruka picked both Selkie and Young Dwyer up by the collars, and threw them out before closing the door again. "Problem solved."

"Who even were those guys?" Luna asked. "They're not in your band."

"Uh, he was Jake's kid," Oboro told him. "Remember? The janitor who made us hang out with his son?"

Luna snorted. "You guys still hang out with Young Dwyer?!"

Leo narrowed his eyes and stood up. "That's it! You and me, guitar guy! We both know where this is headed!"

Subaki turned to Leo. "Pardon?"

"YAAAAAAH!" Leo prepared to punch Subaki, but then the man's eyes glowed. Leo found his body freezing in place, and his throat running out of air. "What… is this…?!"

Subaki stood up. "Don't you know? I'm perfect." He held out his arm, then swung it, throwing Leo through the wall behind Subaki himself.

"Leo!" Sakura and Elise both got up and went over to check on him.

"Owww…" Leo's journey landed him in a garbage bag pile in the alleyway. Luna stood up and laughed. "What's so funny?!"

"Subaki trained for this! He's psychic through hard work and willpower alone!" Luna bragged.

Hinata looked over. "Wait, so if I worked at it, I could get psychic powers too?!"

"Pffft! Maybe you could learn to read minds if you had impeccably clean hands like me. But that's as far as you'd probably go," Subaki told him. "The main point is that I'm better than everyone."

"How does that work, anyway?" Oboro asked him.

Subaki sighed. "Look. It was a long and arduous process. But the short version is that I've surpassed the rest of humanity."

"Leo, are you okay?" Sakura asked.

"Ow… Is my head bleeding?"

"It doesn't look like it…"

"Then I'm fine."

Elise puffed her cheeks. "Leo you took that hit like a chump!"

He glared at her. "Well excuse me for not expecting him to have mind powers!"

Luna stepped through the hole in the wall, leading Hinata, Oboro and Subaki. Beruka stayed behind. "So Leo, Subaki's way out of your league, so you have to give up on dating Sakura here!"

"Wait, you know about all this?" Leo asked her.

"Duh! Subaki told me everything! We've been steady since childhood!"

Leo tilted his head. "Wait what?! So you cheated on Subaki with me?!"

"A-and Subaki cheated on you with me?!" Sakura gasped.

"That was before!" the guitarist defended. "I wasn't perfect then. But now I am, and it's behind us."

"Wait, no you-"

"Why don't we postpone this fight? We have another show next week, and it's important that I don't have any imperfections from a scuffle with you."

"Scuffle?" Hinata balked at Subaki's word choice.

He went ignored. "What do you say, Leo? One last week before I end you?"

"I can still fight!" Leo contested, but he felt a sharp pain in his shoulder as he stood up. "Or not… Yeah, a week sounds good… maybe week and a half…"

"Hmph. See you then," Selena said. She and Subaki walked away, with Beruka exiting the hole in the wall to follow them. Leo sighed.

"What happened to her?"

Dusk Central State University – Leo's Freshman Year

Leo and Hinata sat on a couch in Oboro's dorm's main room. Leo and Hinata did not look much younger, but Hinata wore his hair down. A shrill voice was audible. "What do you mean you're not coming with us?! Aren't you friends with my roommate?! She's going!"

"I guess I'm going," Beruka's voice droned.

On the couch, Leo winced. "Why is your girlfriend so obsessed with Selena?"

Hinata shrugged. "Hey man, I don't know what to tell ya."

Oboro stomped out of Selena's bedroom. "Looks like it's just the four of us. Lazy [BLEEP]."

…

Leo sat with his head in his hands as Oboro blabbed to Selena, the brown-haired girl reading a magazine about Hoshidan fashion. No doubt this is what prompted Oboro's rambling. Leo zoned out until he heard his name. "So yeah, stay away from Leo, Selena. He might look nice, but he's a total creep."

"I am right here, you know."

Oboro glared at him. "Oh, like how I was right there when I walked in on you and Mozume almost kissing?!"

"She was coming onto me, not the other way around! And she was drunk!"

"You were both drunk!"

"I don't drink… anymore."

Selena chuckled. "This guy sounds like too much of a dope to be one of those creeps."

…

Leo, Hinata and Selena finished performing for Corrin and Niles in the former's apartment. Corrin's hair was a little less wild, and Niles' hair was styled into a ponytail. The albino woman winced. "It sounded… okay."

"Why don't you have a drummer?" Niles bluntly asked, wearing his sunglasses even then.

The bandmates all stared blankly at their audience, then at each other. Selena shrugged. "I think Oboro's roommate knows drums."

…

On the way out, Hinata split off, but Leo and Selena went over into the alleyway. They began to make out, their hands both grasping various spots on each other. They were both getting into it, until Niles cleared his throat.

"What?!"

"Niles! I thought you'd… walk past without seeing us," Leo said.

"Uh, yeah. I can't see out this eye, but I can still hear you." He grinned. "Although if you need an audience…"

"Go away!" They both shouted.

…

"You're dating Selena?!" Oboro cried, blocking Leo from entering her dorm.

"Uh… yes? How did you not know?"

Oboro sighed. "Fine, she's in her room…"

The angrier student allowed Leo to walk into the dormitory. Leo knocked on Selena's open door when he approached, and only got a grunt for his troubles. "Uh, Selena?"

He walked in and noticed Selena had dyed her hair red. She did not even look at him as she browsed on her laptop. "Oh. Hey Leo…"

Leo nodded. "Uh, me and Hinata were going to grind for some money in the woods, we heard there might be thieves there. Maybe we could all see a movie or something after?"

"Eh, I'm looking for a new mic. You guys go ahead."

The boy winced. "Are you sure, Selena? I mean… It's our eight-month anniversary. You kept telling me the first seven times, so I figured…"

"Stop being so obsessed all the time, Leo!' Selena finally faced him. "And can you do me a favor? Call me 'Luna' from now on."

With the fight postponed, and the night young, Leo and Sakura walked into Pizza Fang, a restaurant known for using wyverns to heat the pizzas. Inside, Niles and Other Leo flagged them down.

"Hey, it's Leo and Sakura," Niles said, signaling for the two to join his table, and they did. "How is my favorite boy/girl couple? Where've you been since the show ended?"

Sakura's strange purple glow returned. "W-we don't want to talk about it!"

"Well this place has pretty good pizza," Other Leo said. He took another slice and quickly forced it all down. "Real Windmire-style pizza right here, none of that chain restaurant crap."

Niles smirked. "Dude, you've only lived here for two months."

"And that was all the time I needed!"

Leo sighed. "Luna wanted to mess with all of us. And it turns out her new boyfriend is one of Sakura's exes."

"Leo! I said I didn't want to talk about it…" Sakura seemingly shrunk.

"Oh yeah, the perfect guy." Other Leo nodded. "I heard he's psychic. You know, I'm psychic too."

Main Leo did a double-take. "Wait, what?!" His eyes widened. "Are you perfect too?!"

Niles shook his head. "Nah, Other Leo's psychic for his own reasons."

"Well, do you think you could teach me anything?"

Other Leo waffled his hand. "Technically… nah. Nah. It'd take you years."

Main Leo slumped back and sighed. "Great. There goes one way of fighting Subaki…"

Niles reached for a pizza slice. "Man, that Selena. I hate her so much, I almost kinda love her."

Sakura tilted her head. "H-how do you all know each other, anyway?"

…

Leo, Hinata, Niles and Luna all gathered in Leo's basement to play Mario Party together. Niles chuckled. "Pink Yoshi's getting screwed now!"

"It's Birdo! Stupid…" Luna muttered. "Whatever. That's it, I quit!" She got up and went up the stairs. Leo turned back to her.

"Where are you going?"

"This game's a waste of time!"

"Don't we need a fourth player?" Hinata asked, but Luna had already left. "Hey Leo, what about your sister?"

"Wow. How many times has Selena walked out on us now? Time to bring out the D-Word," Niles stated. Leo glared.

"Do you really have to call it that, Niles?"

"…I meant 'dump', Leo. As in, you should dump her."

Leo and Sakura sat together on the latter's couch, as Sakura wrote something. The young man leaned his head back as he looked over. "So what are you writing?"

"Oh, this? Well, you don't seem to like your apartment very much."

"Uh-huh…"

She smiled and showed him the list. "So I wrote you a list of decorations you could buy. T-to make your apartment feel more like a home! Here!"

Leo took the list and looked it over. "…What in blazes is a… Nye-Ann Cat?"

"You mean Nyan Cat?" Sakura corrected.

He blinked. "…You mean that stupid cat-rainbow thing? Ugh… I'm not buying a pillow of that. Do they even make pillows of that?"

"B-but it's cute! And they do!"

"Ugh…" He glanced over the list. "I kind of need an income before I can look into this. We're living off Niles' income right now. But I'll keep it in mind." He awkwardly looked around. "Uh… thanks." His eyes widened. "Wait, first I have to get past that Subaki guy. What's your story with him?"

Sakura's good mood went away. "Is that… really important?"

"Well if there's an important detail, then yes! Just like with Benn-" Leo suddenly remembered Benny's story of how Sakura and Subaki first got together. "Benny… You know, he had an… interesting detail about how the two of you broke up."

"Leo…"

He shook his head. "No, no, I know you were all kids at the time, it doesn't matter now."

The young woman sighed. "Well… Benny was right. I didn't feel for him, like he did for me… I was enamored with… with Subaki from the moment I first saw him. He said he felt the same, so we fell in love…"

Leo rolled his eyes. "Ignoring the part where he was two-timing on Selena."

"W-well it's not like I was better… I hadn't officially broken it off with Benny yet…"

Hearing that, the boy blinked. He suddenly recalled his shady situation with Selkie. "Uh, so anyway! Anything to know about Subaki?!"

Sakura sighed. "So we dated for a while… but then apparently he came of age… or something. H-his parents said he had to train to become perfect. I never really asked. But we stopped seeing each other for his training. After he came back, he was… more confident."

"Wait, Subaki said he only dated you before he was perfect!" Leo cried. "That lying-"

"And then he punched a hole in the moon for me."

Leo paused. "I'm sorry, what?!"

Sakura and Leo stood together on the stoop in front of Sakura's front door. They forewent their coats, seeing as it was the beginning of May. Both looked up at the night sky. "Well I'll be," Leo started, "there really is a hole. And a second one right next to it."

An extra-large crater was visible on the moon's surface. Sakura turned to him. "I know the moon rotates, but… you never noticed before?"

He shrugged. "You just kind of take the moon for granted after a while."

"Hey," Sakura changed the subject, "do you mind telling me how you and your roommate met?"

"Me and Niles?"

…

Leo and Niles sat in the gym together during their senior year of high school. Niles wore sunglasses even back then, as he turned to Leo. "So Leo. Does this assembly suck? Or does it suck?"

"…It sucks? I guess?"

Niles nodded. "You passed the test, Leo."

"How do you know me again?"

…

At Leo's family dinner table, Niles leaned back, guffawing. "And that's not even the best part! Leo still had his socks on the entire time!"

Camilla and Elise roared with laughter, and Corrin merely chuckled. Leo glared. "Why do you know these things about me?!"

The eldest sister wiped a tear from her eye. "Oh, Niles. You're such a card. Feel free to come over when you'd like."

Niles shrugged. "Well a pretty face and free food, who am I to turn down?"

Camilla and Niles both laughed, while Leo rolled his eyes. "Change of subject, but I'm guessing Dad's showing Xander around the office again today."

…

Leo looked Sakura in the eyes. "Niles sweettalked my oldest sister and became a freeloader until we went to college for a year. After that, he lucked into a job in customer service, and we ended up getting a place together."

"Oh. Okay." Sakura giggled at the man's bluntness. "It's good to know you remember that much at least."

"Like I said, some moments stand out. Living with Niles for so long helps him stick in my mind," Leo said, pointing to his head. "For better or worse."

"What other things stick out?"

Leo shrugged. "A few things. I remember one time I saved Elise from this bully. Then after that, she and I started a band with this other girl. I think I told you about that." Sakura nodded. "Elise went from violin to drums, the other girl played guitar, and I tried to play bass with my brother's acoustic guitar. We sucked."

Sakura giggled again.

"I don't remember how Elise stopped playing violin, exactly. That part escapes me." He shrugged and held Sakura's shoulders. "But I don't like to think about that time in my life. I prefer the present."

She smiled and put her arms around his waist, resting against Leo. "I do too."

At band practice in Leo's basement, Hinata took Luna off to the side. "Sele-"

"Luna!"

"Fine! Luna! Why is Beruka drumming?!"

"We needed a drummer, Hinata! You said you were fine with it!"

"I said we'd think about it!"

Beruka blinked. "I can hear the two of you."

Leo walked up to the two of them. "Me too. So here's my question- what happened to my guitar?"

Luna turned around to face Leo. "Your brother's acoustic? I threw it away, Leo! I bought you a real bass, it's about time you had one!"

He gasped. "But I liked the old one! And it wasn't even yours to throw away! What am I going to tell Xander?!"

A younger man with messy hair and a buttoned-up shirt had been slouching on the couch. "This isn't what I had in mind when you said you'd let me hang out with you guys."

"Shut up, Young Dwyer!" Luna, Leo and Hinata shouted as one.

"Rude…" He flipped open his Nintendo 3DS. "By the way, you know I have a bass right? I would've let you use it…"

…

Hinata kept fencing with a training dummy in the gym while Leo sat in a chair and read. After finishing up, the fencer walked over to Leo on a bleacher. He began to wear his hair in a ponytail. "Leo, man! This is crazy! We're gonna become big!"

Leo did not look up from his book. "Not until Luna finally decides on a name." He sighed. "What's her deal?"

"You were okay with it before."

"Yeah, when it was just a hobby! She's turning this into an actual job now!"

"Yeah, man! Look, I'm not happy about the Beruka thing either, but she is pretty good at drums!"

"Meh..."

Club Skull
(A known PokeStop in Nohr)

Leo walked around the establishment, hands in his pockets. There was not much to the club besides a bar and the stage. Tables were everywhere. He did not recognize most of the patrons, except for a certain pair. At that table sat Niles and Corrin. Leo smirked. "You know, for being mad at him over Silas, you hang out with Niles a lot."

"She can't keep herself away!" Niles teased. Corrin merely shook her head.

"I don't like Selena, Leo. She fell into the wrong crowd. You have my permission to go wild."

"Uh, you know I'm fighting her boyfriend, right?" Leo asked.

Corrin gave a devious grin. "Yeah. Make an example out of him. He's a jerk too."

"…I think I need to get out of this conversation."

…

Sakura sat at another table. She enjoyed the company of Elise, Camilla and an older man with black and white hair. He wore a lot of denim. "Uh, who are you again? I'm sorry if you already told me!"

Name: Shura
Status: Camilla's roommate

"Shura. I'm Camilla's roommate."

"I had to get him out of the apartment," Camilla told the girl. "So anyway! You're dating our little Leo now!"

"Uh… yes. A f-few days ago he came by my house…"

"Oh my," Camilla wiggled her eyebrows.

Sakura's face began to match her hair. "A-are you inferring something? I-I didn't mean it like that! W-we were just t-talking! Ab-about the moon! Aaand how he s-saved Elise from a bully o-one time!"

Camilla grinned and ruffled Sakura's hair, to the latter's discomfort. "I was only teasing, dear."

Elise frowned. "I wasn't bullied."

"Oh. Yeah, that doesn't make sense," Camilla said, realizing what Sakura had told her.

Shura shrugged. "Maybe it was something neither of you knew about." Elise frowned, finding herself unable to believe that. Suddenly Shura gasped. "Uh, is that closet door meant to be open?! Because it totally is!"

Sakura and the two sisters all looked where Shura was pointing and gasped. In the broom closet, Subaki and Beruka were making out. The Hoshidan shook her head. "I don't believe it!"

"How tasteless of him," Camilla surmised.

"Also he just looks like he's a bad kisser," said Elise. Everyone looked at her. "Well he does!"

"Hey. You're Sakura, right?" Everyone turned to the source of the voice- Luna. She folded her arms. "So what, you're here to be Leo's cheerleader or something? Don't bother, he's not gonna win."

Shura looked around nervously. "Uh, should we tell her-"

"Hey, no one asked you!" Luna snapped. "I'm talking to Sakura!"

The older man narrowed his eyes. "…Fine."

"So Sakura, let's go hit the bar. I want to talk."

Sakura gulped, and nodded. She quietly got up and followed Selena over to the bar. As they walked, Luna spoke. "You know, before coming to Windmire, we did a show overseas. A place called Duke's Palace. Heard of it?" Sakura's gasped. "Thought so."

The shoe clerk took a deep breath. "Why… are you telling me this?"

"To tell you that I know what you're really like," Luna answered. "Leo likes to paint me as this cruel harpy woman, but you're just as bad!" She rolled her eyes. "And I'm not stupid! I know what people think of me! But they're taking it too far! So I'm challenging you to a duel!"

"What?!"

"You heard me!" Luna suddenly produced a long microphone. She twisted at the top and pulled off what appeared to be a sheath. Suddenly she had a two-handed sword. "Time to play!"

Sakura waved her hands defensively. "H-hold on! What is this going to do?!"

"I have to be the best! My mother was a musician too. First I wanted nothing to do with it, but then I realized I could beat her at her own game!" Luna explained. "But Hinata kept freaking out and Leo kept slacking off, so I had to find my own way!"

"I don't understand what this has to do with me…" Sakura admitted.

"You're someone I could've become! I have to beat you to prove that I'm past that!"

Sakura blinked. "Uh…"

"HYA!" Luna ran at Sakura with her sword, but the Hoshidan thought fast and produced a scroll from her round purse. Sakura dodged her opponent's sword attack, and waved her scroll. Sakura waved her scroll and conjured an ox made of pure energy. It charged at Luna and bucked her, sending her into the air. "Waaah!"

But Luna managed to turn the tide and repositioned herself in the air. She aimed her sword downward to skewer Sakura. The shoe clerk managed to dodge, but now their fight was attracting attention.

"Whoa, dudes! Luna's fighting this crazy Hoshidan chick!"

"Go get 'er, Luna!"

Luna smirked and removed her sword from the ground, holding it skyward. People's voices began to be absorbed into the blade.

POPULARITY POWER!
+5 Atk
+4 Def
+4 Crit

The singer began swinging her sword over and over, casting energy waves for Sakura to dodge. She managed to jump over two, but a third tripped her. "Aaah!"

"You're mine!" Luna ran over to strike Sakura once and for all, but Sakura threw her scroll at Luna's face with crack shot aim. "Hey!"

Using this distraction, Sakura stood up and pulled Fujin Yumi from her purse. The bowstring appeared and she fired at Luna. One arrow grazed her, and brought the star to her senses. The second arrow was deflected with a sword swing, as was the third.

"Rip her twintwails off, Sakura!" a familiar voice cried. Sakura and Luna looked for the voice's source and found Niles among the spectators. "Red's not even her real color!"

"Shut up, Niles!" Sakura's eyes lit up and she took the chance to shoot Luna again. "Aaah! Why you…!" Luna swung her sword in place several times, with each slash creating a stationary wave of energy. She stomped her foot. "GO!"

Each and every wave then flew out at once toward Sakura (and some unlucky spectators). Sakura ducked down on the floor to get as low as possible, but this left her open for Luna to attack. However-

"Don't let her beat you, Sakura, Selena's just a pretty boy!"

Luna glared. "I am not! And don't you call me- Whoa!" Luna felt Sakura grab hold of her foot and pulling on it, destroying her balance. Luna glared and tried kicking her leg to shake Sakura off, but it failed.

"Uhh… Ah!" In desperation, Sakura bit into Luna's ankle.

"Yaaaaah!"

Sakura let go completely, as Luna fell onto her back. The less popular fighter of the two reclaimed her bow and aimed it point blank at Luna's face. "Leave me alone!"

Luna sighed, dropping her sword. "Fine! Whatever…"

"Here they are!" Corrin said, dragging Leo by the wrist. The young man's eyes bulged.

"Wait, what's going on?!"

Sakura blushed and put her bow away. "Uh, we were… fighting. I won…" She glanced over at Luna. "Uh, sorry about that! I didn't want to, b-but you started it..."

Leo nodded. "Wow, nicely done."

"Leo, that's not the point!" Corrin yelled.

"Grrr!" Luna got back up. "You sleazes! You both deserve each other!" She took a deep breath and cupped her hands. "Subaki, I don't care if we're on soon! Get out here and fight Leo already!"

"Subaki's cheating on you!" Sakura yelled, bringing the club to a screeching halt. Several people gasped, some covered their mouths. Niles only shrugged.

"…What was that?" Luna asked in an unnervingly calm tone.

"Uhh!" Sakura blushed and began to brush some hair behind her ear. "I-I saw him… Me and a few others… w-we saw him… i-in the broom… broom closet… with… with your drummer."

Luna glared. "How dare you! Sure Subaki's made mistakes in the past, but he's better now! Ever since he became perfect-"

"He dated me again after he finished his training!" Sakura interrupted.

"B-but…" the singer faltered. "Oh wait! The moon! He punched a hole in the moon for me! That's true love!"

Sakura sighed, realizing that Luna is even more of a victim than she first realized. "S-Selena… he did that for me too… He did that for me first…"

Luna blinked.

"…O-oh… Ohhh… So… the reason there are two holes on the moon… is…"

"What's all the commotion?" Subaki asked, approaching the scene. Everyone looked at him, Luna included. Subaki held hands with Beruka.

"How dare you?!"

Subaki tensed up. "Uh, I can explain!"

"We're in love," Beruka said simply. "…Sorry."

With all her fury, Luna picked her sword back up and cast another energy wave at her former friends. Beruka teleported out of the club, while Subaki held his hands out, stopping the wave. "Luna, please. We can talk about this."

"What's there to talk about?! I thought we realized we were the only ones for each other! You lied to me!"

"But… I'm perfect! That means everything I do is okay!"

"…What?!"

"Like this!" Subaki focused his gaze and telekinetically sent the energy wave back at Luna, knocking her back. Everyone gasped. "What? I just said that I'm perfect! Hitting her was okay!"

Leo cracked his knuckles. "That's it."

BOSS: SUBAKI

He waltzed over to the pretty man. "What, now you want to-" POW!

Leo smirked, satisfied in that punch to the face. He massaged his wrist, as Subaki psychically picked himself up off the floor. The perfectionist scowled. "Not so perfect now, are you, Subaki?"

"It seems our unfinished business calls to us."

Leo got into a fighting stance. "I don't like Luna, but I especially don't like you."

"Tell that to the cleaning lady on Monday."

"…What?"

"Because I'm going to destroy you in three seconds."

Leo tilted his head. "Wait, what's on Monday then?"

Subaki quirked his brow. "Uh, that's the cleaning lady's next day. It's Friday now, but she has weekends off. So on Monday, your remains will still be here, and she'll dust them. With the dust mop." Subaki pantomimed dusting. "She dusts."

"…It's Thursday, dude," Leo told him.

Subaki said nothing and blasted Leo to the floor with his mind powers. "Let's finish this." He looked over to the stage and willed his guitar into his hand. "I can play bass with my mind. You'll need this." He tossed the guitar to Leo on the floor. "Begin!"

BASS BATTLE!

Subaki: 50% Popular
Leo: 50% Popular

Subaki's mind created an instant bassline, so Leo got up and did the same with the real guitar. They kept one-upping each other with progressively fancier basslines, until it was apparent that Leo could not win.

Subaki: 81% Popular
Leo: 19% Popular

"He may be a creep, but he is pretty talented," Niles confessed. Sakura and Corrin both glared at him.

"Screw this!" Leo stopped playing, ran over to Subaki and smacked him in the face with the guitar, breaking it and knocking him down again.

"AAAAHHHH!" He got back up. "You… You think that's enough? Watch!" Subaki's glowed, his hair no longer subjected to gravity. He levitated and held out his hand. "You're through."

Leo found himself punching his own face over and over. When Subaki grew tired of that, he threw Leo into the bar, knocking over a few bottles in the process. "Aaaaaah!"

Subaki teleported to the bar, staring sternly at his prey. "Any last words?"

Leo reached for a bottle and quickly threw it at Subaki's thigh. "Bottoms up!"

Subaki allowed the bottle to break upon contact, without flinching. "Pathetic. I'm perfect, a little bottle won't do anything to me."

"But what about your clothes?"

"Huh?"

"Just look."

Subaki realized that there was a large stain on his pantleg. "A stain?!"

A police car burst from the ground in the club, and an officer emerged. "FREEZE! PERFECT PATROL!" He had blond hair and a large chin. He held his index finger like a gun, with sights trained on Subaki. The floating man grounded himself and held up his arms. "Subaki, you are found guilty of violating Perfection Protocol #1216- a stain on otherwise spotless clothes. You're under arrest."

"What?! B-but this is only my first offense! I get three strikes, don't I?!"

The patrolman shook his head and pulled out a tiny notebook. "Earlier this evening, you were heard mistaking today for Friday."

"Uh… I thought Leo was lying?"

"A real perfect person would know the difference. Wretch. And then those holes you punched into the moon. Those weren't perfectly round holes, but ovals! Ovals!"

All the spectators gasped. Subaki gulped. "Uhh… I have nothing."

The patrolman donned glasses. "The Imperfectionizer. Clear!" He fired a wave from his finger, forcing Subaki to his hands and knees.

"Noooooo…."

With Subaki newly depowered, Leo walked over to him. "You know, I was hoping I'd have some kind of one-liner prepared. But I think I used all my creative juices on 'bottoms up' earlier."

Subaki winced. "…At least humor me?"

Leo headbutted Subaki, reducing him to gold coins, scattered everywhere.

KO!

+3000 pts!

1-UP!

Leo saw a floating, two-dimensional picture of his face. He grabbed it and turned to face the crowd. "Uhh… I guess River City Ransom's not performing tonight."

"…Boooo!"

"Yeah that figures."

Two Days Later – Windmire Bus Common

Leo, Sakura and Niles had joined Luna at the bus station, ready to see her off. Leo run a hand through his hair. "Hey… I'm sorry about… your band."

Luna sighed. "Yeah… it sucks. And I guess I'm sorry I fought your girlfriend."

"Mmm…"

"Eh."

Leo and Luna stared at each other for a minute. Ultimately, the girl shrugged and hopped onto the bus.

"Next time. I guess." With no more words, the bus departed. Leo watched her go, as Sakura approached him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"How are you?"

"I feel… okay," Leo told her. "No strong feelings one way or the other. I guess that's better than last time. I would've liked some closure, but you can't get everything."

Niles shrugged. "Whatever, guy. I'm just glad she's out of our hair." He clapped his hands. "C'mon, kids. Let's go eat something. The infinite sadness is over and summer's on the way!" Leo and Sakura looked at each other with big smiles.

It was hard to argue with that logic.

[CHAPTER 3 CLEAR! WOULD YOU LIKE TO SAVE?]

Post-Script A/N:

Okay I didn't come up with Stahlbucks, thank Lovelylori for that one.

I think Selena and Subaki are the first characters to really suffer from the story's OOC-ness. Odin was silly and Benny still had his gentle side. But I do throw Selena a bone, so it's mostly Subaki who gets an unfavorable portrayal. Just a reminder, I don't have anything against these characters.

Selena/Luna is Natalie/Envy because she's a bit of a snob and has the red hair. Veganism, from what I've heard, requires a lot of dedication. I mean, there are so many food/drink options closed off to you if you decide to go vegan. So Subaki seemed like a character who'd fit Todd's role, even though here it's "perfection" and not "veganism". He's psychic for the same reason as Crash and the Boys. Beruka is the Demonheads' drummer. A bit role mostly, but she's a quiet character like the drummer, and she knows Selena in canon, so there. Another comic-only character is Joseph, Hollie's roommate. He's a jerk, I don't like him. He does have some funny lines, though. I gave that role to Shura mostly because by that time, I was running out of characters.

The song that Selena sings is Justified, which is used as the end credits theme in Dead Rising. In the comics, Wallace didn't date Other Scott, but a psychic guy named Mobile. Here, I just transferred that to Other Leo. Also, I cut out the Honest Ed's sequence. While it's funny and provides an interesting look into Todd Ingram's character, I felt it extended things too much. Leo's backstory with Niles is mostly the same as Scott and Wallace, though I had them meet earlier than university. Sakura and Luna also have a fight, based on Ramona and Envy's fight. Though I removed Scott getting her in the back of the knee. Not sure why, but I just like to think Sakura's willing to fight dirty (and then apologize later).

Another Princess and the Pauper reference, Oboro calling Leo out for drunkenly almost kissing 'Mozume'. If you read the fic, you'll understand.

3 exes down...