Disclaimer: All characters and things associated with The Hunger Games belongs to Suzanne Collins and Lionsgate. This writing is for pure entertainment only.

Summary: Peeta's lie about Katniss' pregnancy is tested by the Capitol, leaving the Lethal Lovers only one option going into the Quarter Quell.

CHAPTER 19

KATNISS POV

I open my eyes and find myself in another room, another bed. Everything is white. I look down and pull the IV drip out of my arm. I am in a white hospital gown and I know I am not on the hovercraft anymore.

I climb out of bed, trying to wrap my mind around everything. I try to think back to my last real memory. The memory of Gale telling me District 12 is gone, the memory of Haymitch telling me Peeta was captured, the memory of kissing Peeta goodbye.

My fingers find their way to my lip on impulse at the thought of my kiss with Peeta.

And suddenly I am on the floor, hyperventilating. I don't care where I am right now. District 12, District 13, the Capitol, the arena, it doesn't matter. If Peeta is here, it doesn't matter.

"Miss Everdeen!" I hear my voice being shouted and strong arms are pulling me back up onto the bed.

I realize I am screaming. At first I am not sure what, but it becomes clear as I am being handcuffed back on the bed, retrained. One word is on my lips.

"PEETA! PEETA!" I scream and kick. There are so many faces I don't recognize trying to hold me down.

I see one hand hold up a syringe and I fight it off. I don't want to be put back to sleep, put down like a dog.

"She doesn't need that! I'll calm her!" A familiar voice fills my ears.

I stop thrashing and look for the owner of the voice, the only person besides Peeta who I could even think about seeing right now.

My sister's face comes into view and she is right, I do calm down. "Prim…"

"I'm right here, Katniss…" Prim sits down next to me and pulls me in for a hug since the restrains are holding me in one place.

I cry into her shoulder.

"I have her. We are okay," Prim warns the others in the room and they back off, eventually leaving us alone.

"Prim…" I croak again.

Prim pulls away and looks at me, her face so serious. "I want to loosen these restraints Katniss…but you need to promise to stay still and calm. The baby has had enough excitement for a while. Do you understand?"

The thought of the baby inside of me, Peeta's baby, makes me feel sick. I had nearly forgotten about it but it's real and it's alive and now Peeta isn't even here.

"Katniss?" Prim questions.

I realize she is waiting for my answer and so I nod my head and she immediately removes the arm restraints. I just as quickly pull her in for a real hug and begin crying again. It seems like that's all I have been doing lately.

"Katniss, you're okay…shh…" Prim soothes me.

It seems odd. I used to be the one wiping her tears away and keeping her calm, now it's the other way around. I feel like the child now.

"Prim? What happened? Where are we?" I manage out with a few hiccups once I get myself under control.

Prim sighs, and tucks a stray piece of hair behind my ear. "Well…we are in District 13. After the Games…District 12 was attacked but Gale saved us. He saved a lot of people."

I close my eyes and let a few tears fall silently. I was hoping that memory was a dream, but it if it wasn't it means the other memory is true. I keep my eyes closed as my lips quivers. "And Peeta?"

I hear Prim take a deep breath and her voice is quiet. "You know where he is, Katniss. I know Haymitch told you…"

I open my eyes and they are cloudy with tears and I nod. I didn't want it to be true, but I know it is now. "He's in the Capitol."

Prim nods. "Yeah…"

I feel myself getting worked up again. "I can't believe Haymitch…"

"Haymitch got you out," Prim reminds me quickly. "You and Peeta's baby."

I think Prim reminds me that the baby is part of Peeta because she knows I still don't feel a true connection to the life inside of me. I thought I did, in the arena, but I know without Peeta I can't possibly take care of this child.

"Do you think Peeta is alive?" I change the subject.

Prim shrugs. "I don't know. None of us do. Heavensbee tried to find out but he couldn't."

I shake my head. Peeta is dead; I know it.

"I don't think Snow would kill him though. Not when he knows how much the nation loves Peeta and not when he know she can hurt you with Peeta." Prim continues.

"I'll never forgive Haymitch," I ignore Prim's comment. I want to be angry about losing Peeta and that is taking all my energy right now. Its Haymitch's fault Peeta is not here. He didn't save him like he was supposed to.

"Well, assuming he makes it through his detox, you can decide that then," Prim sighs.

"Detox?" My voice betrays me and the concern for my mentor is obvious.

"No alcohol in 13. He's having…a hard time," Prim says and I know that's an understatement. Haymitch is probably nearly dying.

"He deserves it," I spit venom but I know I don't really feel that way. It is just easier to be angry.

"Well, while he does that you are going to stay here for another two weeks. We want to make sure everything with the baby is okay," Prim says and gently touches my stomach.

It reminds me of the way Cinna touched me before he was killed. Prim is one of the only other people I would let touch me like that, or rather, touch where Peeta's child is thriving safely.

"I didn't really think you were pregnant when Peeta said it," Prim admits.

I laugh. "I wasn't."

"What?" Prim seems confused.

"At first…Peeta thought it may be a way to get us out of the game but then the Capitol wanted proof…so we gave them proof," I sigh.

It takes a few seconds for my words to register with Prim and for a second I think I need to explain to her what they really mean but when her arms come crashing around me I am reminded she is not a little 12-year-old girl anymore. She is nearly fourteen and has seen more death and destruction then I had at her age.

"Oh, Katniss! I am so sorry!" Prim says with her arms around me.

"It's okay, Prim. We did what we had to, or what we thought we had to," I explain. I don't blame Peeta for it; we both decided it was what needed to be done in hopes of saving us, though all it did was cause more problems and now he isn't even here.

After a moment, Prim lets me go and nods, seeming to understand. "And at least a part of Peeta is here, right?"

I look down at my stomach and nod. She is right. Part of Peeta is here, and whether I think I can handle the child or not, it may be the only part of Peeta I have left.

"And it will be nice to have a baby around here. There aren't many left in 13," Prim continues.

I look up, knowing I must seem confused. "What do you mean?"

"There was an epidemic here. Lots of children died a few years ago. A lot of people are sterile here now," Prim explains.

"Oh," I swallow hard, wondering what that must feel like. Here I am, able to have children and not sure I want the one I am having and yet walking round me there are people that will never get that choice. Suddenly, I feel guilty about being so unsure about Peeta's child inside of me.

"Get some rest, Katniss. I don't want to lock you back in this room so…can you promise me that you will stay here tonight?" Prim asks.

"Will you be back?" I ask. I know without drugs, sleep won't come easy.

Prim nods. "In the morning. In the meantime…just try and keep your head clear and yourself calm."

"How do I do that?" I ask. I can hear the panic in my own voice. I haven't slept alone without Peeta beside me unless I have been drugged up to sleep. Tonight will be torture, especially in a new place.

"Just…remember what's real." Prim says as she moves to the door.

"What is real?" I ask Prim.

"Well…you're alive. You're Katniss Everdeen…you're seventeen…you won the Hunger Games…you were sent back…you are from District 12…District 12 is gone…and now, well, now you are in District 13…and you have a very healthy baby inside of you." Prim says.

I nod at Prim, understanding what she is saying as she leaves. The second I am alone I immediately being repeating her words over and over again, reminding me what is real and what is happening.

PEETA POV

I let President Snow's personal guard lead me to the President himself. He is sitting in his chambers, a long narrow room of white marble with a blood red rug leading to his large desk. The President looks up when he sees me and gives me a jeering smile. If he is trying to be welcoming he is doing the opposite.

"Peeta…such a surprise to see you," Snow says as he motions for the guards to step away from me.

It doesn't matter anyway; my hands are still tied up. If I was stupid enough to attack the President, I would be dead within seconds.

"I wanted to talk," I say.

"I thought we already had our talk," The President says coolly.

"You know about District 13," I say. I am not going to try and hide something the President already knows.

"I know there are a few Rebels there. I can't imagine many…but I know if Katniss were to go anywhere that seems fitting. I also know that her little act of defiance in the arena has set a tone across the nation that needs to be stopped. She needs to be stopped," Snow says.

"Katniss doesn't know what's going on. Now…I will help with anything you need, I promise that. But I need to know that Katniss will be safe," I say.

"Why are you defending her, Mr. Mellark? She left you to die in an arena—" Snow starts.

"She didn't know," I am adamant on this fact because I know it's true.

"But you do know," President Snow raises an eyebrow.

"I know enough. And I will help…if you promise to leave Katniss alone," I say.

Snow clearly doesn't want to do this. I know he despises Katniss but I also know if he wants to control the Districts, he needs me on his side and he may even need Katniss. I won't jeopardize her safety or our child's but if the rebellion is going to do that then I won't be part of it. I am still playing a game, I quickly realize, and I may be the only one playing to keep Katniss safe, rather than use her as a piece in a Game.

After a long moment Snow nods and purses his lips but I know he is agreeing. It seems to take all of his energy to spit the words out. "Fine. Katniss will not be harmed…for now."

The last part is to let me know there are no guarantees but it's better than nothing at all. I will do all I can to make sure Katniss and our child are safe, even if I never see either of them again.

KATNISS POV

I see Peeta walking toward me. We are in the meadow and the sun is shining down, making his blonde hair seem nearly white. He is smiling and when he reaches me he kneels down.

That is when I realize the baby in my arms. It is beautiful, though I cannot tell if it's a boy or a girl.

"Gorgeous…" Peeta breaths out and I know he is talking about the baby.

I look up at Peeta and smile back, leaning in and allowing him to kiss me.

When we break apart, his smile is gone and dark clouds have replaced the sun.

"You left me in the arena Katniss…" Peeta accuses me.

"Peeta, I didn't…" I try.

But Peeta stands up and begins to walk away from me.

I try to stand and follow Peeta but there is something heavy in my arms. I look down, remembering the baby was there and scream when I see what is now in my arms.

It isn't a baby any longer but rather a bundle of bloody white roses. I am confused as to where the blood is coming from and toss the bundle of roses aside only to find Peeta's bloody head no in my lap. He is dead.

I jolt awake screaming from the nightmare. I am soaked from sweat and tears are falling down my cheeks before I even realize it.

My hands are shaking as I reach out in the dark but I know I won't find what I am looking for. Peeta is not here with me. Peeta is thousands of miles away. Peeta is in the Capitol.

I climb out of the hospital bed; so grateful Prim untied the restraints.

I get to the door before my legs seem to give out and i collapse into a ball on the floor, crying and rocking back and forth.

I sob. I try to remember what is real.

I sob while I repeat what Prim told me. I am Katniss Everdeen. I was in the Hunger Games. I Survived. I am Pregnant. Peeta is in the Capitol...Peeta...Peeta...

I continue to rock back and forth and let the tears fall from my eyes when suddenly strong arms are around me. They feel familiar and they do calm me, though I know they are not Peeta's arms.

"Katniss, stop…you're okay…" Finnick's familiar voice is in my ear.

I open my eyes to see Finnick is the one holding me. He is in the same hospital gown I am and his eyes look bloodshot, but he has more strength than me because he is comforting me.

"Finnick…" I gasp into his arms.

Finnick slides down next to me and wraps me in his arms. We stay like that for a long time, until I am certain my tears are gone.

"He's gone, Finnick…Peeta is gone…" I whisper.

Finnick swallows hard and takes a moment before he responds and when he does his words only cut deeper because they offer no comfort. "I know…"

I cry harder, finding tears I didn't know I had in me. I cry for Peeta, I cry for District 12, I cry for my child that may never know its father now, the father I am still so confused about.

"They have Annie too…" Finnick says softly.

I stiffen in his arms and feel ashamed. He unconditionally loves Annie and he is not breaking down the way I am now, and I am not even sure how I feel about Peeta. Maybe it is love; it has to be, otherwise it wouldn't hurt like this.

"I wish they were dead…" Finnick continues.

"What?" I whisper against his chest.

"If they aren't…if Snow has Peeta, Johanna, and Annie alive…well…I wish they were dead then…I wish we all were…things would be easier," Finnick admits.

I realize what he is saying holds some truth. There certainly wouldn't be any mess now if we were all dead.

"You love him," Finnick says after a long moment.

"What?" I ask softly.

"You love Peeta…" Finnick repeats himself. "I wasn't sure of it until he almost died in the Games…and now seeing you like this. You love him. You have to even if you don't realize it, because if you didn't you wouldn't be in so much pain. If you didn't, you would be comforting me."

"You love Annie," I tell him.

I feel Finnick give a small chuckle, but he seems to be laughing at the irony of my statement rather than finding it funny. "Of course I do. That's why this hurts so much. That's why I don't want to breathe without her."

For the first time I get what Finnick is saying and maybe even agree with him about what he thinks I feel for Peeta, because he is right. I am hurting, and I can't imagine a world where Peeta doesn't exist. I don't want to even try, so maybe that is love.