Life on the Resolute

Favors

Chopper stood in the hallway in front of the captain's office.

The shower hadn't been too bad. He'd been one of the last to get there, but they had saved him the back stall because he had outlasted everyone in this practice; he'd been the last to fall. He felt ashamed they knew he preferred that shower, he suspected they knew why he preferred it, knew why he showered in off hours when there were no other troopers there.

Jester helped in the way he had done when they'd been in the same squad; standing in the opening talking to Chopper, blocking the view of others as he told about his new company, his new squad. Unintentionally it seemed, but only seemed. He'd been more help than that today. Chopper hadn't been able to convince his arms to reach up to scrub his shoulders and Jester had tentatively volunteered. No one, outside of medical, had ever touched his scars. But his arms were too tired and with a sour frown Chopper handed Jester the soap. Jester scrubbed his shoulders good; firmly with no lingering touch of curiosity on the deep, curling scars. And that had been ok as well.

Chopper dried and dressed himself in garrison greys brought to the showers by the rookie then simply moved to his quarters and sat on his bunk for a while, smiling humorlessly at his arms which he couldn't raise shoulder high and legs which felt like over-pulled springs. He thought about cleaning his armor but noticed someone had already done so.

He wasn't hungry, but decided to slip off to the mess. Not that he could lift a fork to his mouth, but they'd be having post-practice discussion pretty soon and it was always enlightening to hear how other troopers perceived battle and training. He couldn't miss it today; he'd been last-standing and that would get a call from the general.

Chopper straightened his aching shoulders. He'd done very well to outlast even the commander though he suspected General Kenobi had aimed most of the Force push at her. She'd said he'd done great; the captain had nodded as she'd spoken and Chopper felt validated by the words. They valued him as a trooper; he was a good trooper and, maybe, not just a place-holder for someone better. Every word of praise, every accolade, every 'good job' from the captain, every 'well-done' from the general pushed Slick's hateful words further into the black hole of everything that had happened Before.

The captain's office was between the mess and Chopper's barracks and Chopper stopped in the corridor and eyed the office door thoughtfully. Captain should be in his office. Chopper paced a bit, still uncertain. It would be a good time to ask, he was sure he could say the words. He stood by the door and raised his hand to announce a visitor, but the rookie walked around the corner and Chopper dropped his fist.

"Hey, Chopper. That was pretty impressive today." The rookie was new to the 501st; a heavy gunner right off Kamino. He'd come onto the Resolute with the rest of the new troopers from Kamino and today had been his first practice with the 501st. It had been everyone's first practice with this new set-up of General Skywalkers. The rookie had been hit early, but no earlier than anyone else and Chopper thought it might have been the spacing heavy gunners took in formation.

Chopper ducked his head as usual, turning his scars to the wall. He chewed the inner side of his cheek then quickly glanced at the rookie. "Mostly the commander's doing," he offered. He knew this rookie had a name and ran through his memory for it but came up empty. At least the rookie didn't try to circle around and see Chopper's scars.

The rookie paused and shook his head. "No. I think fewer than one in ten troopers would recover from a Force push and come up firing like you did. Even the generals looked impressed."

Chopper raised an eyebrow. "The generals?" His voice was questioning but the other trooper nodded his head.

"You're good, Chopper. Can I ask you to spar later tonight? Maybe teach me a few tricks?" He gave a hopeful grin, his eyebrows raised in question.

Chopper shook his head. He didn't like to spar with too many people; usually Coric or Kix, both medics who knew about his scars. He always kept the shirt on, even when sparring with them. Jester was on board the Resolute with Kenobi's 212th and Chopper wanted to spend some time sparring with him as well as - not reminiscing but making new memories. "I don't think so." He was astonished to see actual disappointment on the other clone's face and relented. "Tomorrow," he allowed. Then he became hard again. "Early morning. At the start of first shift. Medics Coric and Kix will be there. Probably Jester from the 212th."

The clonetrooper nodded with a lop-sided smile then continued down the hall. "Thanks. By the way, I'm Caber."

Chopper leaned against the wall, frowning. Why the kriff had he agreed to spar the rookie? He glared at the captain's closed door. He'd talk with Captain Rex tomorrow. They were headed to CIS-dominated space and Chopper expected a ground battle soon. But not today. Not tomorrow. He had time. He turned to follow Caber toward the mess but heard the door even as he took his first step.

Rex stepped out, worn but clean workout clothes on his muscular frame, his golden hair still damp. He glanced at Chopper then stood still. Chopper came to parade rest.

"Can I help you, Chopper?"

Chopper didn't say 'no, sir' fast enough and Rex had his office door open fully. "Come on in, Chopper."

Chopper had been in the captain's office once before, when he had joined the 501st but that had been on Christophsis and there had been no door. Chopper was glad this was a different office, doubly glad there was a door.

This time Rex sat in one of the two chairs in front of the desk. Not official and Chopper was glad for that as well. Rex gestured Chopper to the other chair.

"You did very good today, Chopper," he began. "General Kenobi was very impressed and wants to ask you some questions about how you kept your center even in a Force push." Chopper stiffened and frowned but Captain Rex continued. "Very informal, he said. If he calls you in the hallway or at the mess, that's what it will be for."

"I'll answer whatever he asks." Chopper nodded. He'd do his best not to shame the 501st. He'd do his best not to lose his temper to a superior officer, not to cower if General Kenobi stared at his scars. He was glad the captain was warning him, making sure he wouldn't be blindsided.

"I'll probably be there, Chopper." Rex leaned forward. "It won't be too difficult, he gets sidetracked into theoretical discussions beyond a mere trooper's comprehensive quite easily. It might even be during after-practice discussion."

"Yes, sir," nodded Chopper; grateful for the heads-up, grateful for the captain watching his back.

"What do you need, Chopper?" Rex asked and Chopper looked down at the deck.

"I'd like to ask a favor, captain. A real favor. One I may never be able to pay back, but I'll spend my time between now and then trying." Chopper's voice was low as he glanced up into the other man's face. "But it has to be you."

"What is it?" The captain tilted his head, his fingers touching his jaw. Curious. Listening.

"I don't ever want to go back to Kamino." There. He'd said it.

Captain Rex looked unsurprised and Chopper continued. "If I'm able, I'll take care of it myself. My worry is if I'm unconscious, paralyzed, or in a stasis tank. You're the only one who can order the medics to keep me on the Resolute, the only one who can make sure I don't go back."

"Why, Chopper." The captain leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, his hands clasped together. Thoughtful. Debating. Considering the request. And Chopper knew he'd have to explain this request and why he'd been so scared when they'd picked up the new battalions.

Chopper gesture to the scars of his face and head. "After this happened…"

"Geonosis?" Rex questioned and Chopper nodded.

"I was in a Kamino bacta tank for two weeks."

Rex raised his eyebrows in question and Chopper looked to the floor.

"I didn't tell the commander everything." Chopper stared at the wall a moment, the tip of his tongue slightly protruding from his lips as he considered. "Not everything," he repeated and the captain nodded as if he understood.

"They didn't expect me to …" Chopper paused. "They discussed completely reconditioning me. A clean wipe. You've heard of those?"

"Just as rumor. I've never heard of anyone…" The captain's voice withered to nothing. A clean wipe was said to remove everything leaving only the physical body, only a living, breathing being; leaving only a corpse with physical reflexes intact.

"Now you have, sir. They discussed it in front of me and I was scared that meant it was inevitable."

Rex looked down at the floor, a twisted frown on his face, then back at Chopper. Rex nodded his head softly, already agreeing to this favor. "They shouldn't have done that to you, Chopper."

"There's more, sir." Chopper breathed out a hard stream of air. "Later, I took some more damage; gunship crash with 87% burn. They sent me back to Kamino in stasis. Three days in bacta and I'm fine. I'm ready to go to my new assignment but they didn't mark me return to duty. There were four days of 'interviews', questions, tests. I didn't know why, not a clue."

Rex looked at him oddly and Chopper wondered if he was shaking. He never noticed, was never aware of it; but Jester had once told him that he shivered on the rare occasions Kamino was mentioned.

"Then what happened?" Rex asked.

"They discussed reconditioning me. Again. With me standing there at attention ready to go back to my unit, wanting to go back and fight." Chopper froze for an instant, remembering those voices, so very calm. "Then they discussed terminating me, sir. They discussed terminating me simply so they could see what my brain looked like, so they could poke their cold, slimy fingers in and determine if the explosion had turned everything to mush or simply the consistency of sea jellie, so they could roll everything I am in their palms and …"

"Chopper!" Rex's voice was sharp and Chopper snapped his mouth shut.

"Sir. Sorry sir." He fought, struggling to still the shaking, struggling to loosen his fingers from tight fists. "I'm sorry, sir."

Rex leaned back in his chair, his own face pale. The he nodded. "I'll see to it, Chopper. I'll make sure you don't go to Kamino."

"Thank you, sir." Chopper stared at the floor, hearing those calm voices in his head discussing how they would dissect him, the muscles in his jaw clenching with hate and fear. He looked up from the wall to see the captain standing in front of him, his arm reaching for Chopper. Chopper reached up and Rex took hold; wrapping his capable hand around Chopper's forearm. A brother's clasp; and slowly, Chopper's hand slowly went around Rex's forearm in the answering grip. Silently he gave a quick nod, suddenly recognizing that he wasn't a placehold for a better trooper; suddenly recognizing that he belonged to the 501st, that he belonged with the 501st.

"Let's go to after-practice discussion, Chopper." Rex pulled him up from the chair and toward the door. Before he opened it, he turned to Chopper. "If you ever need to talk about what happened on Kamino or Geonosis or Christophsis; I'm willing to listen."

They walked to the mess together; a captain and his trooper.

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