So after all the agnst and tension Seph's been put through I decided it was time for a little relaxation... though it will come at quite the revelation.
"So how'd it go?" Jacob asked her amicably as both he and Miranda fell into step with her.
"I am a Spectre again. We're not going to be hunted down by the Council or Alliance. And Anderson is going to get William's freed to join the team." She glanced at Miranda.
"She's not on the list." Miranda growled at her, she should have seen this coming.
Shepard looked to her with an expression Miranda had never seen. It was... weary, like Shepard was bone tired but she still managed to put enough force in her voice to make herself abundantly clear, "It's my team, Miss Lawson. The Illusive Man makes suggestions but ultimately I decide. If you're worried about Cerberus secrets do what you need to bury them but Williams will be joining us. She's the best goddamn marine I've ever served with and I trust her with my life. Something I can do with no one on your precious list." her voice was soft but laced with meaning, "Now breakfast this morning bordered on culinary torture. I figured you'd be sitting outside Anderson's office until the meeting was over so now I'd like you to arrange some better food supplies. There are some things I want to get while we're here as well so unless you really want to follow me around it would be quicker to split up and meet back at the Normandy." she changed the subject swiftly.
"Trying to get rid of us so soon?" Miranda drawled, she wasn't going to have a bar of that.
"You're certainly free to join me, just no complaining about my choice of destinations. Perhaps Jacob could sort out the food?" she looked to the man realizing Miranda didn't trust her not to do anything stupid like undermining Cerberus and though it meant spending more time with her she didn't have the strength to argue with her.
He nodded, the food had been terrible, "I can manage that. Anywhere in particular you had in mind?"
"We'll head back to Zakera Ward. You'll find the best food supplies in the Citadel there." Shepard flicked on her omni-tool and ran a quick search, "We used them for the Normandy, granted we didn't actually have our own chef. Get in touch with Gardner and see if he's got any special requests." she forwarded on the details for him. "Miss Lawson." she nodded to her and strode away expecting the operatives to fall in with her if. First thing she wanted was a drink.
Upon arriving at Zakera Ward, Jacob departed the company of the two women in search of the supplier for Shepard.
Miranda had been subtly watching Shepard closely. She hadn't said a single word since leaving the Councillor's chamber and looked... deflated. Things had not gone well in there clearly. Falling into step with her she wasn't all that surprised when Shepard strode into the Dark Star lounge.
The Dark Star was one of the more upper class establishments. It was clean but not garishly bright like the bars and clubs on the Presidium nor was it dark and seedy like Chora's Den had been. It was a nice in-between atmosphere, a place to dance or drink your cares away without having scum drooling over your arse.
Shepard ordered a bottle of Serrice Ice Brandy and two glasses. Then without even looking at Miranda she made her way over to a more private booth. Automatically she positioned herself to face the door and sunk down into the plush seating tiredly.
Miranda wouldn't openly admit to how much she felt like a drink herself after the past few days but she did slide into the booth gracefully and accepted the shot Shepard slid over to her wordlessly with a nod of thanks.
Neither of them spoke for the first couple shots.
It was Miranda who broke the silence between them. "I take it things didn't go so well." she was impressed that there was no hint of smugness in her tone as she'd known it wouldn't go as smoothly as Shepard had been naively hoping.
"No." Was all Shepard muttered, scowling into her fourth shot and mentally cursing her new metabolism as she wasn't even feeling the usual warm and fuzzy feeling of the comforting drink.
Miranda sipped her brandy, still only on her second as she wasn't about to let herself get tipsy with the Commander. Instead she was analysing and calculating her options. To ask Shepard if she'd expected the Council to welcome her back with open arms would only arouse Shepard's ire and that was the last thing she wanted right now. Watching Shepard's face closely she asked softly and carefully, "Do you want to talk about it?"
Shepard looked up from her glass in surprise at the softly spoken question. Miranda's expression was neutrally masked and unreadable right now though. "I kind of expected it to go the way it did but hoped it'd be better." she sighed. "They made it clear they think I'm mentally unstable so I gave them a damn good argument. I put on the fierce face and snarled at them in Prothean which of course they took as a threat. But thing was what I'd actually said was the very opposite of threatening." she sat up a little, "I wanted to show them that the interpretations they place on others they base on their own backgrounds and biases. For instance a Krogan wouldn't have taken my body language as threatening whereas they did."
Miranda listened to more than just what she was saying, there was a sense of aching flowing through those golden amber eyes. Even her biotics were tingling a little because of the woman sitting opposite her, she couldn't see any flaring but Shepard's biotics were definitely unsettled.
"Every race has found the Mass Relays and put their own interpretation on them, that they were left behind by a race of explorers, never realizing that they're a trap of the Reapers. You see since finding them we've been basing our technology off of them and following them to settle worlds they've taken us to. That's exactly what the Reapers want. They guide the development of organic species through the Relays. They impose order upon chaos." she growled in a mock Sovereign impersonation.
Miranda's jaw clenched a little and her eyes narrowed slightly at that revelation. No one had been really sure how much Shepard actually knew about the Reapers, she was definitely going to be following this up on the Normandy.
"And no one has a fucking clue. The Relay's and the Citadel are the opposite of what I presented to the Council. The meaning of my words were complimentary while what they could see was hostile. What we see of the Relays is complimentary but their meaning is a threat to all sentient life. And the Council just won't see it." she finished with an angry hiss, glaring back at her empty glass. In a jerky movement she filled it almost to the brim and took a deep swig of the potent alcohol.
Miranda was a little alarmed by the move but bit her lip from saying anything about it for now. Instead she spoke to what Shepard had said, "Shepard the Council may not believe you. But I do." she purposefully did not mention Cerberus, she'd come to understand that right now there was nothing she could do to convince Shepard of the good Cerberus could do until she'd addressed what they'd argued about yesterday.
Shepard lowered her glass and looked to Miranda with a wary expression.
"I wouldn't be here if I didn't." Miranda continued quickly as it was clear Shepard was about to argue from the flash in her eyes, "The Council may not wish to accept that there is a threat out there greater than anything they've ever faced before because a human brought them the warning but I've seen your reports, I've seen the evidence they refuse to acknowledge. You and I may not see eye to eye on many things but this, this we are in agreement, that the Reapers exist and must be stopped." she looked to Shepard firmly then pointedly at the bottle of brandy, "Which will not happen," she returned her sharp gaze to meet Shepard's, "if you prefer to drown your sorrows in bars."
Shepard actually chuckled and shook her head, "You know ordinarily I'd be in a very happy place right now, warm, fuzzy and completely uncaring of my surroundings. Should I be pissed at you for ensuring I can't get drunk? Or pleased that it'll take a hell of a lot more than a single bottle of brandy to warm me up?"
Miranda smirked, "Call it an assurance that you remain in command of your senses during the mission. Once we're done then you can drink until your heart's content and find out just how much it'll take to get you drunk."
Shepard poured herself a final glass then topped up Miranda's before she capped the bottle, "Perhaps you could join me because once we're done with the Collectors I think we'll both have earned a couple drinks." she smirked, "You probably more than me for having to put up with me." she held up her charged glass to Miranda.
Miranda considered her then actually smiled and tapped her glass to Shepard's, "Commander, you have a deal, though you'll more than likely owe me more than a couple drinks for putting up with you."
Shepard laughed and found it incredibly relaxing, "Cheers to that." she brought the glass to her lips and downed the contents with an experienced toss.
Miranda finished the rest of hers as well, she didn't mind the brandy, it wasn't her usual drink but it was smooth and deceptively warming without being sharp or sitting heavy.
Shepard slid out from the booth, "Thanks Miss Lawson, I needed to hear I'm not alone." she offered genuinely.
"Just don't make it a habit Commander, I'll just slap your arse with a warp next time." Miranda smirked and was surprised at the chuckle it elicited from Shepard.
"I'll keep that in mind." Shepard nodded and led the way out of the Dark Star.
They didn't head straight back to the ship but rather Shepard took them to a tech shop. There were some software packages she was interested in finding out how they'd been upgraded in the past two years.
Miranda followed her wordlessly. She seemed to know where she was going and the way she carried herself now drew curious glances from the people they passed. Shepard had a kind of... swagger that exuded confidence and made her look... damn sexy in that armour. She shook herself for thinking such a thing and noticed that any Asari they passed paid very particular attention to Shepard. It almost made her want to walk closer to Shepard and glare at them possessively. Damnit she was being drawn in by the walk! Gritting her teeth she quickly moved up to walk beside Shepard so she didn't have to see it. The brandy was clearly a lot stronger than she'd anticipated.
Shepard noted Miranda looked somewhat annoyed, she just didn't realize what it was actually about, "Look, all I'm going to get is some stuff for my omni-tool, check out some weapon mods and get some fish for that impressive fish tank in the loft. It looks kinda stupid being empty. And I wouldn't mind getting some model ships for the display case. I know you have a lot to do, babysitting me further really isn't necessary." she shifted uncomfortably, ordinarily the thought of shopping with Miri would have been wonderful but this was not ordinary and both of them still had walls up over their recent fights, even after sharing a couple drinks. Miranda still didn't know who she was, she wasn't there just for the fun of shopping but rather to keep an eye on her and make sure she didn't betray Cerberus.
Miranda wondered if Shepard was feeling uncomfortable at appearing weak before her and decided that if she was to avoid any negative repercussions she'd need to show the Commander that she wasn't going to hold it against her. Knowing what she did about the Commander she'd have been surprised if she hadn't been a little down at the Council's response to her. "I can help you select what software and modifications you'd find most valuable, given the advances in technology since you went shopping last." she offered brusquely. She noticed Shepard relaxed a little and a smile tugged at the corner of those sensual lips.
"I'd appreciate that Miss Lawson, thank you. I don't want to sound like a complete fool after all." Shepard reached up and rubbed the back of her neck, an old habit of nervousness. She hoped this would help ease the tension between them, the drinks had seemed to help a little in that regard at least.
Miranda considered her, surprised by the quick acceptance of her offer, "You want me here, why?" she asked, suddenly suspicious again. Though her gut told her it wasn't anything related to turning her over to the Alliance or Council.
Shepard shrugged, "Hey, it's not every day I get to go shopping with one... beautiful woman." she cringed as she couldn't believe she'd just said that! Her mind had almost caught it but it had slipped out before she could stop it.
Miranda's brows rose, "I thought you preferred Asari." thinking of Liara T'Soni.
Shepard looked at her curiously, "Why would you think that?"
"You and Liara T'Soni were in a relationship were you not?" Miranda glanced at an Asari that was blatantly admiring Shepard.
"No. Liara understood that I cared for her deeply as a friend but there was nothing more." Shepard shook her head. Of course she'd known Liara wanted more than just friendship from her, she'd felt it every time they'd joined minds for various purposes. She'd just always held back from relationships as her heart had already been taken.
"That's not the impression I got from Liara." Miranda considered Shepard closely, from what Liara had gone through to help recover her body she'd have thought the pair were bond mates.
Shepard sighed, "There was nothing more from me. You know that girl I was separated from? My heart's always belonged to her. I... have always hoped I'd find her again but you know, her father is a powerful man. I mean clearly he intercepted all of my messages to her and I like to imagine she'd written to me but he'd blocked them as well. He... did a lot of horrific things to her to control her. I tried so hard to get back to her but I was too young and had no training." she gave a half-hearted laugh, "You know she's the reason I embraced my military training so completely, it wasn't just about what happened to mum on Mindoir. I thought that one day I'd go back for her. I'd tear through her father's defences and free her, protect her from him." she smirked, "I did you know. Granted no tearing, I snuck in. Passed all his top notch security and brute guards only to find she wasn't even there, she'd gotten out on her own. I got in so much trouble with my superior officer for sneaking out on graduation." she had a faraway look in her eyes and a sad smile on her face. That had been a very enlightening trip, in many, many ways. She was telling Miranda she'd gone back for her and Miranda didn't even know. She suddenly cleared her throat, "Sorry, not mission related, not interested."
Miranda observed as Shepard closed down emotionally. She had just caught glimpse of something probably no one other than Liara had in a very long time. That Shepard loved someone so deeply, so completely she'd been willing to face down the wrath of the man who'd had her own father murdered to reach her love. "You loved her a great deal." she observed softly.
"Still do." Shepard murmured, "I know we were young, so young, but she was the one you know. I didn't know if I'd ever see her again so I tried... other relationships but..."
"They didn't fit like she did." Miranda murmured, everything Shepard was saying mirrored with her. She remembered Persephone clearly, her first love ripped away by her father never to be seen again.
"What was her name?" Shepard asked softly her heart falling a little.
Miranda shifted uncomfortably now, "Persephone."
Shepard stopped dead in her tracks.
Miranda frowned and turned back to her, "What?"
"Miranda look at me." Shepard's heart raced and her breathing was shallow as she tried to figure this out.
Miranda was already looking at Shepard and cocked her head slightly, curious at this reaction.
"Who do you see?" She asked softly, her husky voice low and tightly controlled.
"Commander Stephanie Shepard, first human Spectre..." Miranda answered straight away and began to list the usual accolades.
Shepard shook her head, "Is that all you see?"
Miranda frowned, "What are you getting at Shepard?" she felt something very uncomfortable trickling through her mind, up and down her spine and it was making her annoyed, very quickly.
"You don't see anyone else, I don't remind you of someone else?" Shepard asked again in that low husky voice, her amber eyes boring into cobalt.
"No. You are Stephanie Shepard. Is there someone you're expecting me to be reminded of?" Miranda asked with increasing irritation and a sudden pounding behind her right eye as a headache was being brought on. She assumed it was from the drinks and was eager to get this shopping over and done with and return to the Normandy.
Shepard exhaled a pent up breath and her shoulders slumped, she began walking again, "Clearly not. This Persephone of yours, what would you do if you saw her again?" she pretended to change the subject.
Miranda fell into step with her once more, once again confused by the frustrating woman beside her. "I... don't know. So much time has passed, we're different people. I'm different. I highly doubt she'd even like the person I've become." she checked herself, she couldn't believe she'd just told that to Shepard! It had to be the booze and the oncoming headache.
"Do you like the person you've become?" Shepard asked, her voice still soft, almost tender if it wasn't so sad.
"This is getting too personal Commander." Miranda shook her head and walked forward with more determination to leave the conversation behind and to get back to the Normandy before this headache progressed much more.
Shepard let it drop with a sigh. Of course there was no getting personal with Miranda Lawson. So now she knew Miranda hadn't forgotten her entirely and it sounded like she still cared. So why the hell couldn't she recognize her? Something had happened. Someone had to have messed with her brain or something. Perhaps her father? It'd make sense seeing as he tried to kill her and all. She frowned, no that didn't make sense either. Miranda had run away from her father. She still remembered her. But when she looked at her she didn't see Persephone, she saw Stephanie, saw what the Alliance had created. Damn it all to hell it was making her head spin. She shook herself and quickly caught up with Miranda.
Inside the electronics store Shepard described to Miranda what she was looking for, which surprised the woman as she hadn't realized just how technologically oriented Shepard was as on Freedom's Progress she'd looked to her to hack the lock to the security centre. Then she realized that was because Shepard may have been given a sophisticated omni-tool but it didn't have much of anything in the way of software. She was even more impressed when Shepard took the time to look over the programming codes before making her selections.
Shepard sheepishly made one more request of the eager salarian store clerk, "What kind of musical attachments do you have? Any human piano?"
Miranda looked to her somewhat surprised, "You play piano?" That hadn't been in her files either!
"No. I asked for a piano attachment because I think it looks pretty." Shepard responded dryly.
Miranda scowled.
"It's soothing, especially when I don't want to go around breaking my fist and punching bags or unsuspecting operatives in the jaw." she smirked, reaching up and lightly touching her jaw, "How's it feeling by the way?"
Miranda knocked her hand away with a growl, "You're not the only one with enhancements."
"And still I knocked you out in one hit." her smirk widened, "Granted you did up my strength and bone structure so I hit harder than a Krogan."
Miranda scoffed and picked one of the attachments, "She'll take that one." It was the one she had for her own omni-tool, it was the top of the line and had different modes ranging from a child's keyboard to a majestic grand piano. She also wasn't in the mood for banter though thankfully the headache was receding of its own accord.
"Hang on, do I at least get to try it out?" Shepard complained, though she was enjoying the teasing with Miranda. Perhaps if she interacted with Miranda like they'd used to as kids it would somehow break through this block she seemed to have. She'd teased Miranda mercilessly at times just to make her smile and being the cute kid she was she'd wormed her way into the older girls heart back then.
"Make it quick." Miranda snapped and crossed her arms, glaring at the infuriating woman.
Shepard plugged it in and selected the grand option. Taking off her gauntlets she shook out her hands and played a couple scales to get a feel for the holographic keys.
Miranda, being a skilled pianist herself, noted Shepard wasn't half bad. Then she stilled as she began to play a very familiar piece. Nielsons Fifth Adagio Movement. It was her favourite and Shepard played it beautifully.
Halfway through Shepard stopped playing with a nod, "Sounds brilliant, nice choice Miss Lawson, I'll take it."
Miranda was rather sorry that she'd stopped playing. Wordlessly she went about paying for it all.
Shepard thanked the clerk who was clearly pleased at such a big sale. Next came the weapon mods. Again Miranda took her through them expertly and they put in a bulk order for the Normandy as Cerberus had only had time to put in the basics with the rushed outfit of the vessel. Miranda was getting impatient as Shepard went to a souvenir shop and looked over the fish for an aesthetically appealing selection that wouldn't eat each other in the tank. Lastly she added a couple ship models, one of the Destiny Ascension, the Normandy and Sovereign. Shepard smirked at the Reaper, she was going to have some fun with it.
"So any particular reason you picked the Reaper?" Miranda asked curiously as they walked back quickly to the Normandy.
Shepard chuckled darkly, "Oh you'll have to wait and see Miss Lawson."
Miranda arched her brow intrigued but saying nothing more.
With all the shopping she'd wanted to do completed they headed back to the ship. Much to Miranda's relief.
Shepard nodded to Bailey as they passed and he grinned and nodded back to the reinstated Spectre. "Miss Lawson," she turned to the woman beside her, "thank you for today. I really appreciated you taking the time to..." her words trailed off as Miranda's expression began to change. It was her expression of when she could see something wasn't quite right and she was trying to put her finger on what exactly it was. Shepard looked out to the docking bay for what had caught her attention. There wasn't anything in the immediate vicinity other than the ship. The ship... oh crap!
"Is there something I should know, Commander?" Miranda's tone was frigid, colder than ice. She stood there with her hand on her hip and her cobalt blue eyes lancing through Shepard.
Shepard took a deep breath and turned back to the infuriated woman, "Anything in particular you have in mind?" she stood at the ready with her shoulders back, her biotics tingling and her feet braced.
"How in the hell did you think you could get away with defacing Cerberus property?" Miranda hissed at her in fury.
"Defacing?" Shepard looked back at the ship feigning confusion, "Oh you mean I had the logo removed. I'd hardly call that defacing, I mean look at it, isn't it such a beautiful job." she gestured to the ship keeping her tone light.
"You had no authority..." Miranda's mind reeled as she tried to figure out how Shepard had gotten something like that passed her, "How the hell did you even do it?"
Shepard shrugged, "I had a word with the painters and they took it off all nice and clean."
Miranda stared at her as close to slack jawed as she'd ever been, "You mean before we even left the station?" she gaped at the woman before her.
"Yep." Shepard smirked, "You didn't really think I'd fly around the Terminus in a ship marked as Cerberus when I won't let you walk around with logo's plastered on you did you? Why not paint a big red target on the Normandy's arse flashing 'shoot me' on it?"
Miranda's head began to pound once more and she groaned, "Why indeed." she muttered, thinking of how she could rectify this problem, they still had to wait for their supplies to be delivered to the ship...
Shepard became deadly serious, "Miss Lawson, for a clandestine organization that just about everyone in the galaxy loves to hate you'd think the Illusive Man would be intelligent enough not to plaster his logo on everything. We're already going to be getting enough people shooting at us with what we're doing. We don't need to add to that with people who just want to take down anything to do with Cerberus. Our mission is dangerous enough as it is, don't you think?" she pointed out as rationally as she could.
Miranda scowled at her, "Indeed Commander." was all she said with her carefully schooled stoic expression before she stalked off towards the ship.
Shepard remained where she was for a moment, shocked at the lack of argument from the diehard Cerberus Operative. Her eyes narrowed, Miranda was up to something. There was no way she'd let something like this slide so easily. "Ah damnit." she grunted, "Kasumi." she called and a moment later the thief appeared.
"You rang?" She grinned up at the taller woman.
"I'm guessing you heard all that right." It was a statement and not a question.
"Course." Kasumi shrugged, she'd heard a whole lot more than that from the duo.
"Any way you can set something up to keep an eye out for anyone who might get the bright idea to adjust our paintjob?" she asked, smiling more to herself as an idea formed in her mind.
"Easy. I could put up a deterrent to if you like." Kasumi offered, already imagining how fun thought could be.
"Oh no just let me know. I have a plan if Miss Lawson desires to try and get the Cerberus logo repainted." Shepard smirked.
"Do tell!" Kasumi pleaded with sparkling eyes beneath her hood and a delicious grin.
"In due time, Miss Goto." Shepard nodded to her before heading back to the ship in question.
So less angst... still a little, but a lot lighter this time 'round overall I feel... or perhaps it was just cos Shep and Miri weren't going for each others jugulars...
Fear not faithful readers the discoveries Seph made in her glossed over description of going to rescue her love will be explored in depth at the appointed time! As will Miri's lack of recognition of Persephone. Oh and just for your interests sake Stephanie Shepard's real name is Persephone Eve Calleyuss... and it has significant meaning.
A few lighter chapters coming up.