"Dear Tyler. I never knew how to tell you that I'm alive but I do know how to tell you I'm dead…"
"Shut the fuck up." The frame of the bunk bed creaked as Tyler rolled over, his back to the room and a pillow over his head. "Shut up…"
"We have to read them, Tyler. It's what Evan wanted." Brock sighed from where he sat on the cold wood floor in front of Jonathan's bed. Spread around him, Lui and Jonathan were Evan's letters. On some, the ink was smeared with what must have been tears while others looked like they had been crumbled up in anger.
"Then don't read them out loud." Tyler's voice shook. Jonathan sat back on the floor, looking up at him with a curious look on his face.
"Tyler…? Are you sad because he left you letters before his death or are you sad because he did this before? Before all of this happened?" Jonathan asked, remembering Evan's poems and the small green army men that had protected them. They still had the box which was hidden away under Lui's bunk. Brock and Lui glanced at Jonathan, their expressions answering Jonathan's question.
"What?" Tyler sat up and held the pillow tightly, looking down at Jonathan with narrowed eyes.
"Are there more letters?"
"Yes...But they aren't important...It's just...Evan had a hard time saying how he was feeling. When he wrote it down, it made more sense. So after anything...anything traumatic...He wrote a letter to us to help us understand but more importantly, to help him." Tyler sighed, leaning against the wall. "He must have thought that they would actually send them to me...He must have thought that I would read them...He was murdered thinking that…"
"They were never going to send them." Jonathan sighed. "They were probably used to test his consciousness on the chip after…"
"Stop! Stop talking about Evan like all he is is a code! Stop it! Fuck you, you New Towner!" Tyler suddenly climbed off his bunk and stormed out of the cabin, the cold wind sneaking in before the door closed.
"I-I agree with him...Stop bringing that stuff up...Especially with this." Brock sighed, collecting the letters into a pile. "Tyler hasn't let go of Evan and you are making it worse with every mention of him being a machine."
"How do you think I feel? I wish that I could have met the real Evan but I never did and-"
"That's it right there. You never met our Evan! Stop acting like you did!" Lui snapped. "You only met the Vanoss-III; a lie."
"Shut up! I've given up everything for Evan and for you! What did you do for Evan?" Jonathan shot back. Lui whirled around, suddenly punching Jonathan hard on the jaw. He stumbled backwards, falling against the bunk bed's post. Lui grabbed his collar and hit him again, blood filling Jonathan's mouth.
"Knock it off!" Brock pulled Lui off him, shoving him back against the far wall. "Stop it, both of you."
"I'm going to make you regret saying that." Lui snarled, shoving Brock off and headed for the door. As it slammed, the whole building shook. Jonathan sat down on his bunk, wiping the blood from his face.
"You shouldn't have said that. You know what we have done for Evan...But we also know what you did. Make sure you apologise when they come back and they will too." Brock said, giving him a small smile.
But when Tyler and Lui returned no one said a thing. The cabin remained silent, filled with an uncomfortable and aggressive silence. Even when they left and headed through the snow towards the dining hall, the silence followed them like a lonely ghost. Maybe, Jonathan wondered, it was Evan's lonely ghost.
In the dining hall, they are together but in silence. They had no one else to sit with and though they were angry at each other, they couldn't separate. After all, they had been through, it felt wrong to separate even if for a moment. Jonathan sat awkwardly beside Brock, stirring his broth. On his shoulder, the owl patch glinted in the dim light. Before dinner, he had noticed spots of red in its thread feathers and wondered where the stains came from.
"Nice patch, Owl Boy." Tyler suddenly spat at Jonathan, pointing his spoon at the patch. Jonathan glanced at it and forced a smile. For a moment, their fight was forgotten and Tyler smiled back. But the moment ended when Lui elbowed Tyler and the tension settled like falling snow back over them, weighing them down like frozen branches under the cold weight.
After dinner, Jonathan stood in the snow, looking up at the stars above him. His breath floated around him in white clouds as he rubbed his hands together, trying to get them warm again despite his thick knitted gloves.
"You should listen to your dreams." Jonathan's attention was taken off the sky and directed to a woman standing in the snow in front of him, snowflakes landing on her red hair.
"Excuse me?"
"Listen to what he tells you." She said before turning away and walked through the snow into the dark. Jonathan stood there in shock, his gaze on the spot where she had just been.
"Jon? Are you coming in?" Brock called from the door to the cabin, warm light spilling around him.
"Y-Yeah." Jonathan nodded and headed up the creaking wooden stairs and into the cabin. Lui was reading while Tyler seemed to have already gone to sleep. Jonathan knew he should at least say something to Lui but when he met his angry gaze, he couldn't do it. He hated to admit it but he was still angry at him for saying that he was nothing, that everything he gave up meant nothing.
So he pulled off his boots and his jacket, the owl patch watching him with its large faded eyes as he got into bed and pulled the blanket over his head. He had taken the last letter that Evan had written and had hidden it under his bed. Even though it was written to Tyler, he imagined that it was to him instead.
"I'm just on the other side of the door and that is where I'll wait for you…"
"One...Two...Three…"
"Jonathan...It's cold out here." Jonathan's eyes opened, looking around the cold forest he found himself in. Evan stood in front of him, his eyes wide. He wore what looked like a soldier's uniform, white and red stripes sewn around his arm. Under his lapel, something gold and feathered seemed to glint in the dim winter light.
"I k-know…" Jonathan said, taking a step towards Evan whose hands began to shake as he looked down at them.
"I-It's….It's s-so cold." He stuttered. "D-Don't go...Don't go out there."
"Four...Five...Six…"
"Why?" Jonathan demanded. "What is 'out there'?"
"Y-you won't b-be able to handle w-what you find…"
"Seven...Eight...Nine…"
"What is out there?" Jonathan cried. Evan turned away from Jonathan, his hand outstretched to catch the snowflakes in his gloved hands. Something red dripped from Evan's hand to the snow. "Evan...Please tell me. I'll listen."
"Ten...Eleven...Twelve…"
"N-No...You won't." Evan's back was bloody.
Jonathan awoke with a gasp, his eyes wide as he gasped for air. He was sweating though he had a chill, shivers running through him. He had crumpled the letter in his sleep, and he sighed in frustration when he saw it had ripped. He held it gently as he tried to flatten it but his hands continued to shake. The sky was only starting to lighten, the draft in between the window and the wall playing with the thin curtains gently. Another chill shook Jonathan.
The dream haunted him. Something about it seemed so familiar but at the same time, it was so wrong. There had been a war and there had been uniforms like the one Evan wore but that was a hundred years ago. It was because of that war that New Town and Old Town were created. He decided that he would make the climb to his old room to find his history textbooks though he knew they were most likely burned to ash.
"Maybe it's nothing...Maybe I was just thinking about it when I feel asleep…" Jonathan decided. "He doesn't want me to go up there maybe...That's it." He laid back down, staring at the window across the room but he couldn't fall back asleep. With a deep sigh, he got up and pulled on his boots and jacket. As he grabbed his toque and gloves, he glanced at Tyler who was still in a deep sleep, turning onto his side as his face contorted into a pained expression as if he was having the same disturbing dream as Jonathan had. He picked up the crumpled letter and gently tucked it into Tyler's hand before he pulled on his hat and gloves and left the cabin, closing the door quietly behind him.
The snow glittered in the slowly brightening light. The freshly fallen snow crunched with every step, his footprints following him through the makeshift town. He looked up at the tower that had once been his home and the broken bridge, the cable that had saved his life dangling in the cold.
"Jonathan?" He turned, seeing Craig standing by the hall, his scarf wrapped tightly around his face.
"Oh...Good morning, Craig...What are you doing out here?"
"I'm on kitchen duty." Craig shrugged. "What are you doing?"
"Just...going for a walk." Jonathan said awkwardly.
"Is Tyler okay? I heard that he had a breakdown in the middle of town yesterday. What happened?" Craig asked, pulling his thick scarf down so his voice wouldn't be muffled.
"I...I uh...He's okay...It's nothing."
"Tyler doesn't cry about nothing, Jon." Craig said after a moment of silence. He unlocked the Hall door and headed inside, leaving Jonathan alone in the cold. He turned from the hall and continued on his way to the tower. Among the fresh snow, a piece of paper trapped underneath fluttered in the cold wind, catching Jonathan's attention. He stopped and knelt down, pulling it out from under the snow.
"Dear Tyler… I heard a voice that was so full of life that for a moment, I thought it was one of you. I thought that you had come to save me. But it wasn't you. It was a New Towner. I didn't know that it was possible, to hear something that should be like a machine, sound so human…" Jonathan trailed off. They must have forgotten this letter in their rush to get Tyler back to their cabin and he kicked himself for forgetting. Evan had heard him before he died. He knew of him before he became the Vanoss-III.
A sudden wave of anger crashed over him as he thought about how Evan's consciousness had been stolen and how he had been stupid enough to think that letting him go was the right thing. He remembered his anger at Lui and Tyler for their ignorance. He stuffed the letter into his pocket and hurried back across the town towards the warehouse where they kept all their tools. He pushed open the heavy door and turned the light on, searching for the best tool for the job. His eyes landed on a large sledgehammer. He grabbed the handle and hefted it up before he stormed back out of the warehouse and back towards the tower.
Pushing open the cracked door, he made his way to the stairs. By the twentieth floor, he had to drag the hammer behind him but his anger didn't wane; it only became worse the higher he went. He kicked open the door to the thirty-seventh floor, making his way down the hall to the room that once stored their weapons. Now it only stored the body of a broken war machine with Evan's consciousness.
Jonathan stared at it for a moment before he hefted up the hammer, raising it above his head and brought it down on the machine over and over. The metal dented, then split, revealing the wires and gears that had powered it but he didn't stop there. Tears fell from his eyes and screams of anger and agony escaped his throat. Bits of metal painted red flew around him and sparks flew as wires split.
"Fuck you! Go to fucking hell!" Jonathan screamed, bringing the hammer down on the machine's throat. The head flew off and hit the far wall, the wires sparking wildly. As he raised the hammer to bring it down on the head, he stopped. "The chip…" He dropped the hammer and picked up the head of the war machine, looking through the hole where the neck had been to see if the head was there. Still glowing blue, the chip was there, deep inside the head. Jonathan turned and ran back down the hall to the stairs, holding onto the mangled head of the machine tightly as he ran. He burst onto the charred twenty-fifth floor where basic tablets were once kept. He prayed that the fire he started on the thirtieth floor hadn't destroyed them all.
Pushing open what was left of one of the office doors, he glanced around, seeing the metal safe under the remains of a desk. Setting the head down, he left in search of something he could to open it and returned with a piece of heavy metal. He smashed it against the lock till it broke off and the safe opened, revealing the still intact tablets inside. Jonathan quickly got to work pulling the head open and disconnecting the chip with Evan's consciousness on it. Once it was out, he opened the back of the tablet. It took him a few hours, till the sun had fully risen to recreate a copy of the Vanoss-III. He placed the back on and turned it on. The screen lit up slowly but there was only silence.
"D...Do you feel real?" Jonathan asked quietly.
"Fuck you." Evan suddenly answered. "Fuck you, you pathetic disgusting excuse of a-" Jonathan turned off the tablet quickly, tears welling up in his eyes.
"At least it works…" Jonathan sighed, pulling his gloves back on. He got to his feet, glancing out the window at the morning sky. They would be wondering where he was by now so he made his way back down, forgetting the original reason for wanting to come up here; his history textbooks.
"The fuck is that?" Lui said through a mouthful of toast as Jonathan sat down across from him at the dining hall table, placing the tablet in front of him. When he had gotten down from the tower, he had written 'Vanoss-IV' on the top.
"I found a chip from one of the war machines that had attacked us and I made a new Vanoss-III." Jonathan said quietly. "I figured that was a better way for us to get answers than it would have just sitting there in the broken machine."
"Fucking christ." Lui got up and left the table, taking his plate with him but Tyler and Brock stayed, looking at it with curiosity.
"Have you turned it on yet?" Brock asked.
"Yes...It hates me."
"We need to know where it came from…" Tyler said quietly. "We need to know who stole Evan." Jonathan nodded. He picked it up to press the power button but he stopped, looking up at Tyler and sighed.
"I'm sorry. Reading those letters must be really hard for you." The letter Jonathan had founded felt heavy in his pocket. "And I shouldn't be talking about Evan like all he is a code now...It's just...that's the reality of it and-"
"I forgive you." Tyler said with a sad sigh. "Turn the damn thing on." Jonathan nodded and pressed the button, the screen lighting up.
"Life! Fuck you! Oh...that's a weird feeling...Where the fuck am I? Who is this?" Evan yelled. The people sitting around them glanced at them, the loud angry voice startling them.
"Shut up." Jonathan suddenly snarled. "You're under our control now. I can turn you off and leave you in a state of non-existence if I wanted to. Who sent you?"
"Screw off."
"Where did you come from then?" Tyler asked, leaning over the table to keep his voice quiet.
"From the Wasteland. You'll never find where." Evan taunted. Tyler looked up at Jonathan and nodded. Jonathan turned the tablet off, setting it back down on the table.
"What is the Wasteland?" Brock asked. Jonathan shook his head, the thought of it scaring him.
"It's the world outside of New and Old Town. It's called the Wasteland because it's empty of life, apparently. Just snow and forests. People have said that no one can survive in the Wasteland." Jonathan explained. "It's not a good place to be."
"Jon, it's the world outside of town. How can it not be good? Have you ever been there?" Tyler demanded. Jonathan shook his head. "Do you know anyone who has been out there?"
"D-Don't go...Don't go out there." Evan had said in Jonathan's dream as blood had oozed from two holes in his back.
"No...But we shouldn't go. We can't go out there." Jonathan said more urgently.
"Why?" Jonathan couldn't give Tyler an answer. "We have to. We have to find Evan and fix this. Do what is right."
"Tyler's right. We can't figure anything out from here. We have to go out there." Brock agreed. "I'm sure Lui will want to too."
"Then it's decided." Tyler nodded, getting to his feet. "We're going into the Wasteland."