As soon as Poland waltzed into the small cafe, decked in his favourite outfit (perfect for a quick show of cross-dressing) he spotted the girl sitting at the other end of the room.
It wasn't because she was pretty. It wasn't because she was particularly remarkable. It wasn't because, in a sudden fit of realization, he discovered that he had found his soulmate.
It was because she was wearing the same top as him. And that, was like, totally squeal-worthy.
Poland strutted to the other end of the cafe, unbothered by the possibility that someone might regonise him as their nation. After all, he had the perfect disguise on - his female counterpart. No would would realize it was him.
"Like, mind if I sit here?" he asked the girl, once he was standing directly in front of her. The girl glanced up from the newspaper she had been reading and nodded her head.
"Go ahead" she said. She took a sip from the cup of coffee that had been rested near her elbow, and then set it back down. "I love your top by the way" she added, with a small laugh.
"Thanks" Poland grinned. "I, like, love yours too."
The girl smiled at him and then went back to reading her newspaper. Poland glanced at it, curiosity in his eyes.
"Like, what are you reading?" he asked. "Anything that would totally make me lose my cool?"
The girl shrugged. "It's about the whole nation thing" she told him. "You know...the personifications."
She squinted at him.
"You know...you kind of look like the personification of Poland."
Poland beamed widely. "Like, oh my god, that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me!" he gushed. "I mean, he's like, totally sexy and stuff, right?"
The girl blinked, looking surprised by his outburst. "I guess" she said, after a momentary pause. "I mean, I didn't really think about it. He's my country. It's weird."
"I know right - he's sexy" Poland said, with a nod.
"So, I don't think I asked you your name" the girl said after a moment.
"Oh yeah" Poland grinned. "It's Felka."
"Nice name!" the girl said. "I'm Irena."
Poland considered the name for a moment and then smiled at the girl - Irena. "That's like, totally squeal-worthy" he gushed.
"Thank you!" Irena said, with a pleased laugh.
She sipped her coffee in silence for a moment; Poland stared at his picture, that had been displayed across the newspaper page, admiring his ('god-like' ) features.
"So...Poland's totally awesome right?"
Irena blinked at him for a moment. She let out an awkward laugh. "Well...he is my country. So yes, I guess."
"I know, he's like, the best" Poland nodded. "I read somewhere that everyone wants to, like, sleep with him and stuff. And they think he has awesome outfits...and, like, totally silky hair and stuff."
"Err...where did you read this?" Irena frowned, sounding skeptical.
"Somewhere" Poland replied, waving one hand in a dismissive gesture. "Don't you think Poland's better than Prussia?"
"Sure I guess?" Irena frowned. "Wait, do you mean Russia?"
"Ha!" Poland jerked forward, a large, triumphant grin spreading across his face. "Suck that, you Prussian loser! Whose the awesome one now?!"
"...Felka, you are strange" Irena stated, with a shake of her head.
Poland's phone rang.
"Like, don't move a muscle, okay?" he told Irena. "I'll be, like, right back."
He dashed out of the room.
Usually when someone called him, it was Lithuania. Which was why, as soon as Poland clicked the 'receive call' button, he immediately said; "Hey Liet!"
"Poland, I am needing help!" wailed Lithuania.
"...So, like, I met this totally cool chick who thinks I'm totally hot" Poland told his friend, ignoring Lithuania's distressed cry. "Well, she thinks Poland is totally hot and right now I'm Felka, but still -"
" - Poland, they're trying to get inside!" wailed Lithuania.
"...And she thinks my hair is nice" Poland continued to talk. "And that I have nice outfits. And she thinks I'm better than Prussia too! Aww, Liet, I have, like, such cool citizens and stuff..."
"THEY ARE INSIDE MY HOUSE!"
Poland paused his rambles and thought for a moment. "Hey, Liet, we should, like, totally have a sleepover!" he said, at last. "Later though - I'm not done talking with Irena about how hot I am -"
"POLAND!" Lithuania howled.
...
Of all the countries to hold a press conference, why did it have to be Belarus?
This thought ran repeatedly through Russia's mind as he stared with wide, horrified eyes at the screen of his television. His sister's smiling (cruel, terrifying) face had been enlarged upon the screen.
Two reporters sat across from Belarus on chairs, staring at her with eager eyes.
"Ms. Belarus?" the female reporter began.
"That is my name" Belarus replied with a brief nod of her head.
"Yes, well" the reporter smiled. "I'm sure everyone is glad that you decided to have this interview...not everyone is being as cooperative, hmm? And by that, I mean the other countries..."
"Yes, well, bit everyone has a beautiful man by their side, fueling them on" Belarus replied. This sentence was followed by a dreamy sigh.
Russia flinched.
The reporter sat forward, looking eager. "Beautiful man? Oooh...do tell" she urged.
The male reporter coughed awkwardly. "Um..." he said, gazing at the woman. "We had a set list of questions to ask..."
The female reporter nudged him in the stomach to cut him off; she then directed another large smile at Belarus.
"Well?"
"Do not say it..." muttered Russia, gazing imploringly at the television screen. "Please do not say it..."
Belarus let out a giggle. "I am talking about -"
"...For all that is holy, Natalya, do not say it..." Russia pleaded.
" - my big brother, Russia!"
Russia slammed his head on the arm of the sofa he was seated on.
The female reporter looked slightly disappointed. "Ahh...so not a special someone?" she sighed.
The male reporter leaned in close to his female partner and hissed; "We need to ask about what's going to happen now that the secret is out -"
The female reporter thumped him in the stomach, effectively cutting him off.
"Big Brother is a special someone!" Belarus snapped, her eyes narrowing dangerously. "Big Brother is very, very special..."
"Natalya...please..." Russia moaned, his eyes screwing shut.
"One day, Brother and I will get married!"
"NO!" Russia howled.
"...Seriously, the boss told us we had to ask - WAIT, WHAT?!" the male reporters eyes bugged out of his head as he realized just what Belarus had said.
The female reporter sat still, gaping.
"Big Brother belongs to me..." Belarus continued to rant, oblivious to the reporter's shock. "I love him very much...we belong together..."
"You...you want to marry your brother?!" choked the female reporter, looking like she wasn't sure whether to look excited at the scandalous news, or horrified.
"...What?" the male reporter muttered, still unable to come to terms with the news.
"Why Natalya..." Russia moaned. "My people will probably be watching this...why?"
"Someday, Belarus will once again be one with Russia" Belarus announced, proudly. "And he shall be one with me!"
"I...what?" the female reporter shook her head, her eyes wide and baffled. "I mean, no...huh?"
"...What did she say about becoming one with Russia?" the male reporter stuttered.
Belarus smiled at the camera, a menacing light burning in her eyes. "Big Brother...if you are watching...I love you!"
Russia jerked back, as if he had been burned.
Belarus turned back to the stunned reporter's. "Anymore questions?"
The male reporter shut his opened jaw and struggled to find something appropriate to speak about. "Uh...what is going to be happening now?" he finally managed.
Belarus beamed. "Now that the secret is out...wonderful things will happen" she began to cackle. "Before, only I could show my love for Big Brother. Now...my entire country can! You want to now what will happen now? I'll tell you - YOU WILL ALL HELP ME CONQUER MY BROTHER'S HEART AND DESTROY ANYONE OR ANYTHING THAT STANDS IN MY WAY!"
The last thing Russia saw was the horrified faces of the reporters, before be turned of the television, curled himself into a tight ball, and willed the image of his sisters maniacal face to go away.
...
An hour later, when he had finally managed to gain control over himself, Russia left the house. His pipe was slung over his shoulders and he hummed a merry little tune as he walked.
As he entered the village people seemed to grow silent. Their eyes immediately lingered on him; stunned looks passed through the crowd.
"Hey!" one brave child came running forward, looking excited. He came to a stop in front of Russia and beamed up at the nation. "Hi Mr. Russia!"
Russia smiled pleasantly and raised his pipe in the air, waving it threateningly. The child's eyes widened and he backed away, before bursting into tears and running away as fast as he could.
Russia kept walking.
As he walked he waved around his pipe as if it were a baton; people leapt out of the way with cries of fear and surprise, to avoid being hit.
No one really bothered him much.
...
Austria was in a bad mood.
Somehow, the entire world had found out their secret. That in itself was horrible, but to make matters worse, he was forced to have to be confined in his house. The streets were filled with his excited citizens, all eager to catch a glimpse (and probably a lot more) of their nation.
And, if that wasn't bad enough as it was, Hungary's house had been invaded by reporters; she had needed a place to stay. So now, on top of everything else, he was stuck with the annoying girl.
At least Prussia wasn't here.
As soon as this thought had entered his mind, there was a knock on the door. After a moment of hesitation, he opened it - his jaw dropped open as he caught sight of the people standing on his doorstep.
Prussia, Germany and Italy all looked and terrible; their clothes were ripped, their hair resembled birds nests and they were all panting hard.
"What are you doing here?" he demanded. He glanced at the white haired ex-nation and considered slamming the door in their faces.
"They are in my house" Germany moaned.
"Who?" Austria asked, bewildered. Germany's face immediately darkened.
"The reporters!" he snapped. "Who else, you idiot?"
There was the sound of loud footsteps and excited yells. Germany's eyes widened in horror; Italy let out a squeak of fear and latched onto Austria, who let out an indignant yell and tried to get him off.
"Dammit!" cursed Prussia. "They must have followed us!"
Austria's eyes widened in horror.
"YOU LEAD THEM HERE?!" he roared.
AN:
Hope you all enjoy this chapter :D Tell me what you think of it!
Also, thank you for all your reviews :D