A Very FaBerry Glee-verse-part V-Journey to Regionals
By Shiney1983
A/N: Hey all! Once again a big thank you goes out to all my readers! Seriously, all the new follows, favorites, and reviews I get mean the world to me. I read you guys' reviews, each and every one, multiple times throughout the week before I write. They are just the motivation I need to keep going. Plus, a few of you have helped to reassure my feelings about how to handle certain storylines. I hope I continue to please you. Not much to say about this one right now. As always, I'll have more to say once you've finished reading. Please keep up the wonderful feedback. Whether good or bad, it is the reason I continue to post this story…because I know you all care. Enjoy this chapter! "Journey to Regionals" is another favorite episode of mine…just FYI…
Disclaimer: I own nothing belonging to GLEE, including any dialogue I borrowed straight from episodes for my own purposes. Also, any songs mentioned belong to the original artists.
Quinn sat around Will Schuester's apartment growing more saddened by the minute as she heard her fellow glee clubbers giving up. A part of her understood, of course. Their shot at winning was minimal at best, especially since Sue Sylvester had somehow positioned herself as one of the judges for the competition.
Also, Quinn had meant what she said to Mr. Schue in his kitchen a few moments before; it had been a long year…extremely long. Quinn had faced more challenges in the past year alone than a lot of people deal with in a lifetime. Finding out she was pregnant, lying to Finn, almost destroying his friendship with Puck, losing her home and the acceptance of her parents, losing Finn, losing her status at McKinley, living in Puck's basement; all of it made Quinn want to give up. If she was being honest, at times, it still did.
But there had been good things happen this year too. All the heartache had made Quinn a stronger, better person. She now thought about the effect her actions had on those around her, not just what a decision might mean for her. That's why she knew she had to give up her baby. The innocence little girl growing inside her deserved more than what two teenaged parents could offer, no matter how well-meaning they were or had become.
Besides, a child could get just as much from her adopted parents as she could from her biological ones; being around Rachel had taught her that.
Another thing her friendship with Rachel had taught her was that, perhaps there was more to her insecurities than just her physical appearance and image. Maybe she had denied herself the luxury of really loving someone because a part of her identity was closed off.
Quinn didn't know yet if she was gay…maybe she was bi…either way she was ready to open herself up sexually…with Rachel…for Rachel. She just hadn't told the diva yet. She'd been giving the other girl the space she'd requested when they last spoke. Anyway, Rachel was in no condition to accept a heartfelt confession right now. She was too broken, too weak.
That's why it didn't surprise Quinn when Rachel was the last one in the room to vocalize her despair over the seemingly inevitable end of the glee club.
There was one person in the room that did seem genuinely shocked however.
Finn's eyes moved to Rachel at her suggestion that the group merely reminisce instead of getting ready for Regional's, and the lumbering boy's eyes flashed with several emotions Quinn couldn't read. She just hoped he wouldn't give Rachel a hard time about her feelings. The diva didn't deserve it, and there was no telling how she might react if Finn pushed her.
For her part, Quinn shared her gratitude with the group for the time that they sang "Lean on Me" to her and Finn post pregnancy. It had reminded her that she still had a support system when she'd felt lost.
Finn nodded in agreement and also thanked his classmates for making him feel like a leader at times when football had failed him.
Artie said the club had been good for his R&B soul, causing everyone to laugh.
Puck remarked that music gave him another in with the ladies.
Brittany said teaching "hairography" had made her feel smart.
Rachel said glee was the first place she'd ever really felt like a star.
On and on they went for over two hours, each giving a reason glee had changed his or her life.
Quinn smiled. Rachel's suggestion had, of course, been spot on. If glee club were going to end, they all needed closer. Now, thanks to their trip down memory lane they had it.
Quinn was going to tell Rachel how proud she was of her, and assure the starlet that she would always have Quinn's support, glee or no glee, but as luck would have it another, more verbose brunette would get in Quinn's way.
When she was leaving that night, Quinn slid past Rachel without a word because the hazel-eyed blonde witnessed something she swore she'd never see. Rachel was having what appeared to be a rather intense conversation with what Quinn swore was a contrite looking Santana Lopez!
The party was over and everyone was leaving Mr. Schue's when Brittany leaned over and whispered in Santana's ear, "If you're gonna do it now might be the only chance you get."
Santana nodded once, as Brittany squeezed her hand for reassurance, and then slowly she stood.
The Latina's feet shuffled across the floor and she chucked to herself when she noticed her throat was dry. Never did she think the day would come when she, Santana Lopez, was nervous about talking to Rachel Berry.
The closer she got to the shorter brunette the more nervous she became. She licked her lips and turned her head to gaze at Brittany. The blonde smiled at Santana and mouthed the words: make me proud.
That was all the encouragement Santana needed. She faced forward once more, took a deep breath, and approached Rachel. "Berry, can we talk?" Her voice sounded scratchy so Santana swallowed in an effort to wet her throat.
Rachel turned, her forehead creased with surprise and curiosity. "Of course Santana, to what to I owe the pleasure?"
Santana mentally rolled her eyes at the girl's formality, but resisted doing so physically, as that action would make what she was about to say seem less genuine.
"I wanted to talk to you about the stuff I said the other day about you and Q…" Santana began. She was surprised when Rachel folded her hands in front of her and remained silent.
The diva let out an exasperated breath. "I'm attempting to be polite and not interrupt you, as I know this matter is sensitive for both of us," she spoke, answering the Latina's unasked question, "please continue whenever you feel ready."
Santana looked down, silently grateful that her sometimes long-winded classmate was prepared to let her get this all out in one shot. Otherwise, she knew there was a good chance that she might not get through it at all.
"Look, Berry," Santana began again, locking eyes with Rachel, "I was upset the other day about all kinds of shit that has nothing to do with you, and I guess I kinda snapped and took it out on you. So," Santana looked down at her own interlocked hands and squeezed them together so hard her knuckles turned white, "I'm sorry," she mumbled quietly, refusing to look up.
The Latina was sure the annoying diva would relish in her apology, and maybe even ask her to repeat it louder, but, for the second time that day Santana was surprised.
"That's quite alright Santana," Rachel spoke, her voice laced with so much sincerity that Santana actually believed her.
The Latina slowly looked up and both girls searched one another's eyes for truth.
When both seemed satisfied, Rachel spoke again. "Besides many of the things you said had a reasonable amount of merit." Santana shook her head, not sure she had a sound argument. "All the same, thank you for the apology. Your act of contrition shows tremendous strength of character."
This time Santana did roll her eyes. She could never figure out why Rachel couldn't keep things simple. She could have just said, 'I'm proud of you,' the way Santana was sure Brittany would as soon as the Latina got back over to the couch. No, Santana was sure of it, she would never, ever understand Rachel Berry.
Santana shrugged. "Don't mention it…" she said, easily, "like to anyone… ever."
"I won't. I promise," Rachel answered through a laugh.
A lot of things had changed in the past year, and the starlet found it comforting to know that some things never change. Even in the middle of an apology, Santana was still Santana.
"Well okay then…umm…bye," Santana muttered awkwardly, unsure of how to end this conversation.
Rachel smiled. "Goodnight Santana," she offered.
Santana pushed past the diva, and lazily strode toward the couch to retrieve Brittany. "Night Berry," she called over her shoulder, nonchalantly.
Rachel shook her head. Yep, a girl could always count on Santana.
Rachel walked around school the next morning in a daze. So much had happened this year to give her doubt and sadness.
First, Finn had unceremoniously dumped her because he had wanted to find himself. Only to want her back later, but Rachel reasoned that that was probably because he couldn't have her. Quinn had even eluded to that fact the one and only time she had asked the blonde's advice on the topic.
Then Jesse had entered her life, and Rachel thought she'd found a kindred spirit; someone who really understood, and cared about her. Of course he too had left her, adding insult to injury by making scrambled eggs on her head.
Then there was Shelby. Rachel had always thought finding her birth mother could only enhance her life; give her someone else to learn and grow through. Instead, the no-nonsense brunette had been yet another person who gave Rachel cause to question her self-worth.
Still, Rachel had survived all of this heartbreak because through it all she'd had glee club…and unexpectedly throughout the last few months, a friendship with Quinn. Whenever Rachel had had a long day she could sing out her frustrations surrounded by people she knew, if nothing else, respected her talent.
After that, if the starlet still felt down, she could hang out with Quinn. The blonde haired beauty seemed to always know what to do or say to lift Rachel's spirits.
But, Rachel sighed as she rounded the corner of McKinley's staircase and headed down the second flight, her fellow glee clubbers had been right yesterday at Mr. Schuester's house. With Sue Sylvester as one of the judges at the Regionals competition, the chance of saving the glee club was bleak.
What hit Rachel harder than that, however, was the inescapable knowledge that Santana had been correct. Quinn would not risk her reputation to be Rachel's friend once she had the baby was gone and the pretty blonde could regain her status. It just didn't make sense. Quinn had changed everything, practically who she was, to gain what she'd had at the beginning of high school. There was no way she'd give it all up for Rachel. If history was any indication, the petite brunette simply knew she wasn't worth it.
Besides, being on top made Quinn happy and it was the least Rachel could do after everything the girl had done for her, to step aside and let Quinn be happy…
Rachel was so caught up in her own thoughts that she hadn't hear Finn approach her at the bottom of the stairs until the lanky boy was practically nose to nose with her. She jumped slightly with surprise, although Finn didn't seem to notice.
"Hey! We need to talk," Finn began. Rachel knew the boy well enough that she could tell he felt what he had to say was important, so she looked deep into his eyes and listened. "We had a chance of keeping it together at Mr. Shue's until you decided to bail."
Rachel looked at him questioningly and bit her lip. Couldn't he see she was nothing special? Didn't he know it was already over?
Seeing her hesitation, Finn leaned forward on to his toes. Rachel knew Finn's body language, being enamored with a person for several months affords a person the luxury of knowing the object of her affection quite well. So Rachel knew that Finn absolutely believed whatever he was about to say. Then he grabbed Rachel's hand. Rachel looked down at their hands. Maybe she had been mistaken about Finn. Maybe, after everything, he really did care about her. At least someone did…
"You're our leader, Rachel. The way you're on everyone all the time is annoying…"
Rachel looked down a little. She knew she was nothing special to the club, just the nuisance that got under people's skin, but Finn squeezed Rachel's hand then, and she looked back up at him allowing him to finish.
"… but it's also what keeps the club motivated," he quickly assured the diva.
Rachel started to nurse a bit of hope. Finn was right. Rachel was a leader, or at least she hoped to be someday, so why couldn't she start now? She could rally the club; make them see that they were just as talented as vocal adrenaline.
Win or lose, talent makes you special, and isn't that what they all wanted, to feel special? Yesterday at Mr. Schue's they had all talked about feeling special, not winning or losing. Maybe Rachel could keep leading the club after all, at least until it was over.
Noticing Rachel brighten, Finn began to sound even more confident. "You and I are going to fix this. We're going to Regionals, and we're going to win this thing."
Rachel felt the beginnings of happiness stir inside her. She still didn't think they could win Regionals, but maybe together she and Finn could still leave their classmates with a sense of accomplishment. Rachel liked that idea and she liked the boy that gave it to her. This was the Finn Hudson that Rachel had admired; the leader she always knew was inside.
Without thinking, Rachel leaned forward and pressed her lips to Finn's. She wanted him to know how grateful she was for his belief in her and how proud she was of him in that moment.
Finn beamed at her and she smiled back. "Come on," he said, pulling her forward, "let's go tell the club!"
"Alright," Rachel agreed, as she fell into step beside him, "but let me do the talking, okay."
"Of course Rach," he responded, smiling at her once again, "and you'll see this is totally gonna work."
As the pair made their way down the hallway, a teary eyed blonde appeared from the other side of the staircase.
Quickly, she wiped away the tears and turned the other way, jogging toward the alternate route to the choir room. She batted at her eyes angrily and sped up as best as her body would allow. If she hurried she could be in and seated before they walked in, and she had to be.
There was no way Quinn could let Finn and Rachel know she'd heard them, or that she'd seen the kiss, and there was no way in hell Quinn Fabray would let Finn Hudson see her cry.
At Regionals Saturday, Quinn made up her mind. She would let Rachel go. She had never been good enough for the future Broadway star anyway. Hudson wasn't the right choice either, by a long shot, but Quinn knew listening to the pair perform "Faithfully," that, for now, he was who Rachel wanted. Quinn knew she wouldn't stand in Rachel's way, even as her heart broke, and her baby moved ferociously inside her.
Also, Quinn wanted to make their group numbers amazing, especially if this would be her last time on stage with Rachel. So Quinn squared her shoulders and forced herself to smile. She promised herself that for the next two songs she would forget about her heartbreak and just go out there and have fun like Mr. Schue suggested.
And she did! And Rachel was amazing! Quinn even stole a few glances at her while performing, but she didn't think Rachel noticed… When it was all over, Quinn just knew they were going to win! She'd heard Rachel say as much to Tina as they made their way back to their dressing room.
Then something happened that made Quinn freeze in her tracks. Standing in front of her, smiling at her, was her mother.
"Mom? What are you doing here? Is Dad okay," Quinn stammered out, too shocked to move.
"I came to hear you sing," her mom answered, obviously as nervous as Quinn was shocked. "You were wonderful. I'm-I'm so sorry I missed all the other times you performed. Were there a lot?"
Pride and an apology from Judy Fabray? Quinn's head was spinning at how unreal that seemed.
But what about her father? Russell had really been the one to kick Quinn out after telling her how much she'd disappointed them. Judy had remained silent. Quinn could not even consider going home if there was more of that waiting for her.
But she was still too shocked to form words, and then as if reading her mind, the older blonde answered her unasked question. "I left your father. Well, I-I… kicked him out, actually. He was having an affair with some, uh… tattooed freak."
This was too much. Quinn needed to sit down and yet she was still too shocked to move or speak.
And the hits just kept on coming. "Quinnie, I want you to come home with me. I can turn the guest room into a nursery," she heard her mother say, and then Judy's eyes sparkled with concern. "Oh, sweetie, say something," she said, taking a tentative step toward Quinn.
Quinn opened her mouth to speak, but just when she thought nothing else could surprise her today, her body released a warm, wet liquid. Quinn locked panicked eyes on her mom and burst out, "My water just broke!"
Judy's expression went from confused, to shocked, to panicked in about five seconds. "Oh my god," she practically shouted at Quinn. "What do we do?"
"Go tell the others," Quinn said.
Her mother raced around the corner as Quinn slunk into a chair and clutched her stomach. The pain had already started coursing through her body, and it was almost unbearable. Then Quinn grimaced as she realized it would only get worse!
Damn you, Noah Puckerman, Quinn thought.
Then as if right on cue, her mom came back, followed closely by the entire glee club, in a pack.
"You're having the baby," Finn questioned.
Quinn rolled her eyes and grunted at him as if to say, 'duh!'
Puck hit his former best friend hard in the back of the head. "Dude, you're an idiot," Puck spoke, "come on, help me get her to the car."
Finn moved forward, still rubbing his head. Each of the boys took Quinn's arm and slowly they started to move.
"I'm coming," Santana insisted, feeling an overwhelming protectiveness for her once and former friend.
"Me too," Brittany said, gripping Santana's hand.
"You sure as hell aren't leaving me behind," came from Mercedes, and suddenly glee was a jumble of voices.
It seemed that no one wanted to miss the birth of the club's first, and hopefully last, baby.
"Guys, hold on," Mr. Schuester said, shouting to be heard, "our performance is over, so we'll all go and be there for Quinn, alright?"
Murmurs of agreement were heard. Slowly everyone surrounded Quinn, Finn, and Puck and they began to move forward as a unit.
"Wait," Quinn said through clenched teeth, causing everyone to stop, "someone has to stay and represent the team until the results come in."
"Well, I can't stay," Mr. Schuester reasoned, "your parents would still want you all to be chaperoned."
More murmurs followed, until Quinn spoke again. "Rachel should stay. She's our leader after all."
Quinn couldn't see her, but she was sure the diva was surprised and maybe even hurt, by Quinn's suggestion. After all, not a month ago, the two were best friends. Quinn was sure Rachel wouldn't understand why Quinn didn't want her at the hospital.
Quinn knew though that making sure Rachel didn't come to the hospital would be the first step in letting her go. She had to get used to not having the diva by her side, no matter how much she wanted her there.
"Rachel?" Mr. Schue looked at the girl expectantly.
"Of course I'll stay," Rachel softly replied. "Quinn's right. It is my responsibility as the club's leader."
"Alright," Mr. Schue said, squeezing Rachel's shoulder, "We'll be back as soon as we can then. Call if you need anything?"
The curly-haired director squeezed Rachel shoulder affectionately. The girl nodded and placed her hand over his. "I will, but my dads are here. I'm sure I'll be fine. Call me with an update though?"
"Sure thing," Schue said. "You do the same?"
Again Rachel nodded and again the unit began to move.
Quinn swore she could feel Rachel's eyes on her all the way until they reached the door. She just wished she could make Rachel understand.
Rachel was physically and emotionally drained by day's end, and it was dark by the time she made it to the hospital, but she couldn't wait to see Quinn. She had so much to tell her.
The New Directions had won the competition. Okay, maybe they hadn't according to the judges, but as Rachel had told Shelby, they'd won in the areas where it mattered most.
Shelby… that was another development she wanted to share with Quinn. Rachel had reached out for what she'd assumed would be the last time, and had been shot down again.
Rachel needed Quinn, and after the day the blonde had had, she knew Quinn would need someone as well. Sure she'd had to convince her dads to drive her to the hospital so late, and she knew she'd probably have to sweet talk some nurses as well, but she was Rachel Berry, she could do it.
She marched toward the nurse's station already working her diva attitude, but she relaxed a little when she saw Santana coming toward her.
"Hold up, Berry. Just where do thinking you're going?"
Rachel put her hands on her hips. "Don't be absurd Santana," she said, her tone laced with aggravation, "I'm going to see Quinn."
She started to move past Santana, but the Latina grabbed her arm.
"No you're not," Santana said quietly. Rachel froze. Santana spun to face her. "Q specifically said she didn't want to see you." Rachel could swear there was a little bit of sympathy in the other brunette's voice.
"You're lying," Rachel responded, her voice not sounding as confidant as she'd hoped it would.
"She isn't," Brittany assured, coming up beside Santana and linking their pinkies. "Quinn asked us to keep you out."
"But why," Rachel asked, her voice faltering slightly.
"Not sure," and, "Didn't care," were the simultaneous responses Rachel heard.
The starlet couldn't speak for fear she'd break down, and she wasn't about to do that in front of the pair. Instead, she simply spun on her heel, clenched her fists at her sides, and executed a textbook storm-off.
Rachel didn't see it, but behind her, Santana let out a heavy sigh as Brittany rubbed comforting circles on her back.
One week later, Quinn was back in her childhood bedroom. She looked around genuinely surprised that it had remained exactly the same after her unexpected departure.
Glee club had gotten a reprieve to spite their failure to place at competition. Although that news gave Quinn some relief, the blonde couldn't help but feel down. She couldn't help but feel as though nothing had really changed for her in the past year.
She was back in this mansion they called a house, and although her mother had assured her things would be different with her father gone; Quinn knew she'd still be expected to hold up the family name.
Quinn knew she could get it all back: her spot on the Cheerios, her reputation, maybe even a suitable boyfriend. The problem was that to accomplish these goals Quinn would have to change back into someone she knew deep down she just wasn't. She'd have to be HBIC again, maybe even be cold to Rachel again, and Quinn wasn't sure she could bear that…
The blonde let out a huge sigh as she stood and walked over to her stereo. Glee and Rachel had both showed her it often helped to sing out your feelings. Quinn only hoped it would work for her.
She found the song she wanted, and smirked when the music started. Sure her choice was way over dramatic, but she wryly thought Rachel would appreciate that, and besides she was alone in her room. It didn't really matter.
Quinn took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and didn't even bother to wipe the tear that fell as she began to sing. She sang all her emotions into the song, attempting to drain her insides, and prepare her for whatever was ahead.
'Empty spaces - what are we living for?
Abandoned places - I guess we know the score.
On and on!
Does anybody know what we are looking for?
Another hero - another mindless crime.
Behind the curtain, in the pantomime.
Hold the line!
Does anybody want to take it anymore?
The Show must go on!
The Show must go on!
Yeah!
Inside my heart is breaking,
My make-up may be flaking,
But my smile, still, stays on!
Whatever happens, I'll leave it all to chance.
Another heartache - another failed romance.
On and on...
Does anybody know what we are living for?
I guess I'm learning
I must be warmer now.
I'll soon be turning, round the corner now.
Outside the dawn is breaking,
But inside in the dark I'm aching to be free!
The Show must go on!
The Show must go on!
Yeah, yeah!
Ooh! Inside my heart is breaking!
My make-up may be flaking...
But my smile, still, stays on!
Yeah! Oh, oh, oh!
My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies,
Fairy tales of yesterday, will grow but never die,
I can fly, my friends!
The Show must go on!
Yeah!
The Show must go on!
I'll face it with a grin!
I'm never giving in!
On with the show!
I'll top the bill!
I'll overkill!
I have to find the will to carry on!
On with the show!
On with the show!
The Show must go on.'
A/N: Whew! That chapter is done. That was a bit more of an undertaking than I expected, and I don't know if it's evident in the work, but that was very emotional for me to write. I hope you guys feel it was worth it. Also, the song Quinn sings is "The Show Must Go On" by Queen. I thought it fit her feelings at this moment, and I felt it was appropriate given that Queen was already in this episode. If you haven't heard that song before, check it out, it's amazing! Now, on to season two, but until then review please. That chapter was a bit exhausting and I need some motivation. As always, thank you from the bottom of my heart.