A Very FaBerry Glee-verse-part VII-Britney/Brittany
By Shiney1983 (w/FiveByFiveFaithLehane)
A/N: A new chapter! Woo hoo! I know you all probably thought it would NEVER happen, but here it is. Feel free to gasp and then fall to the floor, as long as you get up immediately after and read the chapter. I promise you this story will get finished, just hang in there.
As far as the chapter goes, it was written with the help of my friend named above, who I've known forever and just recently started writing with. You can thank her for helping to remove the massive tumor of writer's block I was experiencing.
We changed very little about the episode because we both love it. We mostly added and tweaked some details.
We proudly present, and hope you enjoy, our version of "Britney/Brittany!"
Disclaimer: I own nothing belonging to GLEE, including any dialogue I borrowed straight from episodes for my own purposes. Also, any songs mentioned belong to the original artists.
It wasn't the knock on the door that woke Quinn up; it was Judy's loud, slurred speech. The blonde didn't know who was at the door, nor did she care. At least not until she heard two words uttered by a voice she knew as well as her own.
The words were 'Rachel Berry,' the voice belonging to the same.
Quicker than she would've thought possible seconds before, Quinn leapt up and headed for the stairs.
Rachel came into view around the third or fourth stair and Quinn's heart nearly stopped. Rachel shouldn't be here. This house was poison and Quinn couldn't bare the thought of tainting the diva.
"Rach," she screeched out louder than she'd intended. Both her mother and the singer turned toward her, looking surprised and confused. The younger blonde took a deep breath to steady herself and cleared her throat. "What are you doing here," she asked, hoping she sounded calmer than she felt.
Rachel blinked twice, squared her shoulders, and locked eyes with Quinn. "I need to speak with you, it's rather imperative."
"Okay…" Quinn said slowly, her eyes shifting between her mom and the diva, "…let's talk in my room."
Rachel didn't move, probably confused by Quinn's obvious nervousness. The blonde swallowed, she hoped inaudibly, and came down the last few steps. She slipped her shaking hand into the shorter girl's and gently led her up the stairs.
Once Quinn opened her bedroom door, Rachel dropped Quinn's hand as though it were on fire, and immediately began to pace. The ex-cheerleader knowing the singer as well as she did, merely sat on her bed, and waited patiently for Rachel to speak.
"What was that in the bathroom earlier Quinn? Or how about the choir room…"
"Rach, I-"
The brunette continued at a feverish pace as though she hadn't heard the blonde at all.
"What is going on with us, Quinn?" I know you feel it, you have to. I've been called a lot of things by my peers, but delusional has never been one of them, Quinn Fabray…"
"Rach-"
Much to Quinn's amusement, Rachel kept right on talking. With anyone else such total disregard for her presence would have irritated the ex-Cheerio captain, but Rachel's nervous rant really was quite adorable. Plus, Quinn found it comforting that their relationship, or recent lack of, was just as confusing to the tiny diva as it was to her.
"…unless I am just imagining it all…in which case I've probably done irreparable damage to our already ailing relationship…"
Quinn chuckled a little, "Rachel-"
"…oh god Quinn, I'm terribly sorry for the intrusion and my out-of-line assumptions. Please forgive my rude behavior…"
Now this was getting absurd. Now Quinn was getting fired up! "Oh for god's sake, Rachel-"
"…I'll just get out of your way. I'm sure you have more important matters to attend to than-"
Rachel's head was spinning. Before the future Broadway star could finish her apology, Quinn had cut her off. Not that being cut off by the hazel-eyed girl was new to Rachel. It had happened so many times since they'd met, in fact, that the brunette had lost track.
What was new was the means by which Quinn chose to cut her off this time.
Right now, ex-president of the celibacy club, ex-head Cheerio, Quinn Fabray, the most beautiful girl Rachel had ever seen was kissing her!
As if Rachel had lost all free will and common sense, she found herself kissing Quinn back, quite hungrily in fact. It wasn't until Quinn pushed Rachel up against the door that the shorter girl heard herself moan, and it wasn't until Rachel opened her mouth to allow Quinn's tongue access that she heard the blonde do the same!
Rachel felt as though she were dreaming. After all, this whole experience was too surreal not to be a dream, right? She, Rachel Berry, was making out with Quinn Fabray! The diva laughed internally. Just imagine if Noah could see them now, or heaven forbid, Santana, or Finn…oh god, Finn!
Rachel jerked back so fast she hit her head on Quinn's bedroom door. Shaken, she began to grab her things. She had to get out of there…and fast! She thought she heard Quinn talking. Something like, 'Oh god, Rach' and 'I'm so sorry Rachel,' but Rachel couldn't respond. She just needed to leave. She couldn't even look at Quinn as she quietly shut the blonde's bedroom door.
"Brittany… Brittany," Quinn called out as she jogged toward the blonde Cheerio in school the next afternoon.
The girl turned, her forehead scrunched in confusion. "Oh hey, Quinn," she greeted. "Sorry, I thought I was hearing voices in my head again."
Now it was Quinn's turn to be confused. "Umm, okay… Hey listen, Britt have you ever done something you regretted, something that you wished you could take back?"
"Yeah," Brittany's shoulders slumped and she looked sad, "I'm the one that suggested Lord Tubbington try smoking. I thought if he was smoking a lot he might not eat as much; but now he's still fat, and he's up to almost two packs a day!"
Quinn was too caught off guard to answer before Brittany's expression turned quizzical. "Why? What did you do?"
This time the shorter blonde opened her mouth to answer, but just as she was about to, a jet black ponytail breezed in front of her face. "Hey Britt…Q…what are you two talking about?"
The last person Quinn wanted to know about her mistake with Rachel was Santana, well maybe not the last, but still…
"Quinn was just about to-"
"Leave, I was just leaving," Quinn interjected, hoping the Latina wouldn't be too suspicious. Brittany looked confused again, and worried, so Quinn gently ran her hand down Brittany's arm, hoping to ease some of the innocent girl's worry. "It's okay Britt, we'll talk later."
Her fellow blonde still didn't look convinced. "You sure," she questioned.
Quinn smiled at her friend, hoping it would help to reassure her. "Absolutely, B, it wasn't even that big of a deal. I'll see you in glee."
Before Brittany's cloud of concern got any bigger, or the other third of the trinity got any more curious, Quinn turned to leave.
"S," she acknowledged as she passed the brunette, then, "Have a good day you two," she said, more to Brittany than the Latina.
"You too, Q," Brittany called after her as she was walking away, and Quinn raised her hand to wave at the sweet girl.
Brittany shrugged. "That was weird," she muttered, more to herself than to Santana.
"Sure was," the brunette agreed, "I wonder what's got Q's panties in a bunch. I wonder if it has anything to do with Berry."
"San," the other girl whined, putting her lip out a little for full effect, "you promised you'd stay out of it."
"I promised I wouldn't hurt Q, B," Santana corrected, "and I won't. A little snooping among friends is good though. It keeps shit out in the open."
Brittany looked unconvinced, but relented. "Fine, you can snoop, but keep your promise. Our friends don't get hurt."
"Q will be fine, scout's honor." The brown eyed girl held up three fingers.
The blonde shook her head. "You were never a girl scout, pinky promise?" Santana extended her pinky, but Brittany hesitated. "This promise covers Rachel too," she added, using her serious face.
"Fine," the Latina huffed and rolled her eyes, "the Hobbit's in the clear too."
The girls locked pinkies. Brittany kissed Santana's cheek and whispered, "Thank you."
Santana shrugged and offered the other girl her pinky again. Brittany smiled, took Santana pinky, and the two headed toward the cafeteria for the lunch period they shared.
Santana was puzzled, and she wasn't puzzled by Brittany often the way most people seemed to be, but now she didn't understand.
When the week started, Brittany had made it clear to the entire glee club that she wanted her life to remain free of Britney Spears.
Santana knew that when her best friend was little, the blue-eyed girl had worshipped the '90s pop icon.
Brittany had told Santana that she'd originally delighted in the fact that her name was so similar to Spears', and had yearned to be just like the woman she swore she was named after.
Little Brittany had memorized all the words to every Britney Spears song, watched every interview, soaked up every performance, and even made up elaborate dance routines to all the singer's hits.
Unfortunately, it was bullying that made Brittany S. Pierce's love for Britney Spears die.
Santana had learned that story not long after she became friends with the former, still she remembered that day like it was yesterday…
The Latina couldn't remember where she and the blonde were headed when a song by Spears had come on the radio.
Brittany had been talking animatedly to Santana only moments before, but the minute the song hit the airwaves, the blonde tensed.
Tony Pierce, looking in the rearview mirror and seeing his daughter's discomfort, had immediately changed the station. Brittany thanked her dad, but neither explained to the Latina.
Santana was still bothered by the weirdness of the event hours later, so she asked Brittany. Brittany didn't want to talk about it at first, but not wanting any secrets between her and Santana eventually changed her mind.
With tears in her eyes, Brittany shakily told Santana that the year before, in first grade, Brittany had been working out a new 'Britney' routine on the playground, when some classmates began to watch.
The outgoing seven-year-old hadn't minded at first. She was never one to turn down friends. After a few minutes, however, a few of the onlookers started to laugh.
Thinking she'd missed a joke, Brittany asked a girl in the crowd what was so funny.
The girl fell silent and shrugged. The boy next to her though was bolder.
"You," he'd laughed, "you look nothing like Britney Spears. You dance like a spaz and sing even worse. Those moves are retarded. You're so stupid."
It was the very first time young Brittany had been called stupid, and it shattered her. She realized that no matter what she did, she'd never live up to her idol.
That day Brittany tore down all the Britney Spears posters from her bedroom walls. She made her parents promise to get rid of all the pop star's CDs and cleansed her former obsession from her life…
To this day, Brittany was self-conscious when she sang in public, only joining glee on Quinn's "orders" and Santana's gentle urging. Also, although the blonde loved to dance, she was only really comfortable doing that in front of Santana or her parents. Despite her natural talent, she was terrified of taking actual lessons and fretted for hours over the routines she and Mike created for Mr. Schuster.
This is why Santana had fully understood Brittany's request during glee the other day. Britt's reasoning may have seemed strange, weak, or odd to the others; and Santana's defense overly harsh, but those gleeks didn't get it. The brunette rolled her eyes internally knowing they rarely, if ever, did.
All of this led to the Latina's perplexed state now. Britt had bounced in to Santana's bedroom a few minutes earlier brimming with excitement over having heard a Britney Spears song during her visit to the too-fucking-sexy-to-look-at dentist's office.
"It was amazing San," the taller girl continued, her voice the brunette's anchor back to the present. "I wasn't just as good as Britney, I practically was her. It was just like the video! Oh, and I even pet a snake!"
"Britt, I'm sure it seemed real, but-"
Brittany shook her head. "No, San, it was real. It made me realize that I can be as talented as Britney. Also, that I'm already way more talented than everyone in glee club. Well maybe not you, maybe we're equal, but Rachel for sure…"
The brown eyed girl let out a soft laugh. "Britts, you are more talented than the dwarf, in so many ways…"
When her best friend trailed off, unable to find the words, Brittany sighed. "You need proof." Santana opened her mouth to interject, but the blonde continued. "No it's fine. Just go to the dentist office with me and I'll show you."
"Britt-Britt," the Latina offered gently, "I don't think you can show me. I don't think our hallucinations, or whatever the hell it was, will connect."
Again the blue eyed girl shook her head. "They will, Sanny, I know it."
"How?"
"Because," the bubbly cheerleader said simply, "we're soul mates. If our hearts and souls are connected, then our minds and fantasies are too."
Santana was completely taken aback. The only person in the world she truly cared about had just said they were soul mates. What's more, Brittany had stated it with such ease and conviction, as if it were a fore gone conclusion, a fact.
The Latina could only wish she were half as brave, half as sure, half as steady as the other girl. She took a deep breath to calm her racing heart, and then grabbed the blonde's free hand. "Okay Britt, we'll go tomorrow, right after school."
Brittany lit up like a kid on Christmas. "I love you, San," she proclaimed.
The object of her affection wished more than anything she could say it back.
There was no doubt she felt it. Santana had loved Brittany from what felt like the day they met. She just wasn't there yet. Every time she tried to return the taller girl's sentiment it felt like the words were stuck in her throat.
In lieu of verbalization, Santana leaned forward and kissed Brittany with earnest, hoping she could convey everything she felt at that moment.
Brittany, as it happened, got the message loud and clear. She only wished that one time she could actually hear it back.
Rachel hadn't spoken with Quinn in a few days, not since "the incident" actually and it was bothering the diva more than she wanted to admit.
Why would Quinn kiss her? True the blonde's behavior had been out of sorts for months now, but kissing Rachel was beyond abnormal.
How could one person go from ignoring another to kissing them within weeks? It didn't make sense.
Back in the days when Quinn, Santana, and Brittany were in the height of bullying Rachel a few of their pranks became pretty elaborate, but something told Rachel that isn't what this was.
Perhaps what troubled Rachel more than Quinn's behavior, however, was her own.
Rachel saw nothing wrong with a love affair between two women, of course. Love was love, gender wasn't a factor. The brunette would even admit to herself that she found certain women attractive, and that Quinn Fabray had always been among them.
But Rachel wasn't a cheater. People that cheated had few morals and very little self-control. She was better than that.
So why couldn't the singer exercise the former cheerleader from her thoughts?
Quinn seemed to be in every breath she took. A few times over the past couple of nights the hazel eyed beauty even had a prominent role in her dreams.
Rachel told herself there was a perfectly logical explanation for all of it. After all, Quinn had been a pretty significant part of her life in recent years.
Yes, as a friend, but perhaps more notably as an adversary in winning Finn's affections.
Once she realized that, Rachel had reasoned her brain's newfound obsession with Quinn was merely confusion mixed with anxiety that Finn would leave her, maybe for another cheerleader.
So, when Finn asked her what her feelings were on his absence from the football team, she'd attempted to share her fears with him.
Unfortunately, as he was prone to do, her boyfriend had gotten hurt and become defensive, completely failing to see her point of view. He'd even allowed Santana and Brittany to make fun of her, maybe to hurt her, but more likely to make himself feel better.
So now Rachel had to deal with her thoughts about Quinn, plus her own insecurities, while attempting to reassure Finn that she did in fact want him to be fulfilled.
The brunette leaned her head back against a locker, enjoying its coolness, and trying to stave off a migraine. She didn't know if her life could get anymore complicate, but she was almost afraid to find out.
"Fuck Britts, that was amazing! You're amazing! I always told you that you were, but oh my god, what the hell was that?!"
Santana's excitement as she and Brittany left the dentist office the afternoon after the Latina agreed to go was infectious.
Brittany giggled. "See I told you, San. The hot dentist totally has magical powers. He showed us both how awesome we are."
The Latina nodded. "You're right, Britt. You're gonna own this fucking world someday."
"No, silly, we are. You were there too, remember?"
Santana nodded, her brown eyes sparkling with excitement and love. "Hey B," she husked, her voice suddenly deeper, "my parents won't be home all night. They're at a stupid hospital benefit or something. You wanna come over and work off all this excess energy?"
"Totally," Brittany laughed, "lead the way Lady Madonna. Hey San, do you think we could get our sweet lady kisses on to 'Get Naked'?"
Now it was the brunette's turn to laugh. "Sure, B," she replied through her chuckles, "whatever you want."
Rachel had thought that reading the unauthorized biography of Britney Spears as she awaited her dentist appointment would help to ease her anxieties. She never expected that it would induce a rather vivid fantasy in which she and Quinn were the stars of Ms. Spears' seminal music video, "Baby One More Time."
The diva was fully aware that her boyfriend should have been the one to play opposite her in her fantasies, but Rachel didn't think Finn thought of her as sexy…not that Quinn did of course. However, since him and Rachel's reconciliation, Finn hardly mentioned sex. At times it even seemed like the boy was afraid he'd taint her.
So, the singer formulated a plan to make Finn notice her in a different way. At least that had been her intention when she showed up at McKinley the day following her appointment in an outfit reminiscent of Spears.
However, the plan completely backfired. Everyone noticed. Jacob, Artie, and even Santana all vocalized appreciation for her new look. All the outside attention angered Finn though, which Rachel was sure would set their relationship back instead of progressing it.
As for Quinn, the blonde seemed to be avoiding her more, even refusing to make eye contact with her in glee club. This behavior served to further confuse Rachel.
All this confusion made her fail to notice an arm pull her into an empty classroom toward day's end.
Rachel squeaked in surprise, and was immediately silenced by the hand of a very angry looking Quinn Fabray.
"What the hell do you think you're doing," Quinn demanded, glowering at Rachel, her hand on her hips.
The singer narrowed her eyes in return. "I could make the very same inquiry. After all, I was the one just abducted from the hallway."
The blonde threw her hands up in the air. "Jesus, Rachel, I didn't abduct you. I just wanted to talk."
"Someone who wants to talk doesn't go out of her way to avoid another person, Quinn."
"Oh for the love of-"
This time the hazel eyed girl ran a hand through her hair and let out a long, slow breath. The next words she murmured were so quiet Rachel would have missed them if not for her impeccable hearing. "I'm sorry, Rach."
"For what," the brunette breathed out into the dark classroom.
"For everything. For avoiding you this summer, for the kiss, and I guess for…" Quinn laughed, "…for abducting you just now."
Rachel could almost feel the sincerity wafting off the other girl. The future Broadway star bit her lip. "That's quite alright, Quinn. You're forgiven…for all of it."
Quinn sighed, "Then, as your friend, I ask again. What the hell are you doing, Rach?" She gestured toward the diva's outfit.
"I wanted attention," the diva offered quietly, her eyes cast downward.
Though Rachel didn't see it, Quinn nodded in understanding. She just as quietly responded, "If Finn doesn't appreciate the beautiful and outrageously sexy woman you are every day, then he doesn't deserve you."
"Quinn," at the sound of her name the blonde looked up, and locked eyes with the girl across from her, "do you honestly mean that?"
The taller girl nodded slightly. "Of course I do, Rach. Anyone would be lucky to have you."
What happened next was so sudden; it almost knocked Quinn off her feet, literally. Before the blonde knew what was happening, Rachel's lips were moving against hers, and Quinn was responding with earnest.
The sound of a bell startled the two, and Rachel moved back, but slower this time than the first.
"I'm sorry, Quinn. I have to go."
Before Quinn could react or respond she was gone.
It had been a never ending week for Rachel.
After her second kiss with Quinn, the one she initiated, she realized her feelings for the blonde were something she wanted to explore.
She still wouldn't be a cheater, of that she was sure, but there was something else her moral code wouldn't allow.
She couldn't break up with Finn. After all, she'd given the boy her word, and her word was very important to Rachel.
She'd spoken to Quinn about it and the two had devised a plan, get the dopey once and again football star to break up with her.
The diva had thought asking the boy to choose her over football would do the trick, but it didn't.
Instead of getting mad, Finn had done his best to assure Rachel, along with telling her he would give up neither of his two loves.
Next came Quinn's idea. She wanted to try to get the boy to cheat on Rachel with her, thus giving Rachel a loophole to break up with him while not tarnishing her integrity.
Regrettably, Finn once again surprised the pair with his unwavering loyalty to Rachel.
Worst of all, Finn's reactions had made Quinn doubt their plan. The hazel eyed girl had informed Rachel today that perhaps Finn was the better choice for her, and that maybe they should just stop.
Rachel didn't want to lose Quinn without at least testing their potential, so she came up with a plan of her own. She would sing a song to Quinn in glee club, a song she would dedicate to Finn so as to divert any possible suspicion, but a song Rachel would ensure Quinn knew was meant for her.
So the singer chose a song by one of Quinn's favorite bands, Paramore.
As Rachel stood in front of the group singing "The Only Exception," she chanced to take a glance or two at Quinn, and she knew she had her.
That only left Rachel with the original problem, how to get Finn Hudson to break up with her for good.
A/N: So what did you guys think good, bad, or ugly? I can take it. Please don't be too hard on Rachel though. Her thought process may seem a bit out of character right now, but I think she's just in too much turmoil to know which way is up. Plus, Rachel simply breaking up with Finn seemed too easy. I hope you all will try to understand. Please take a minute to read and review if you can so I know who's still out there. Knowing I have an audience and reading your reviews lets me know whether what I'm doing is right or wrong. Also, I've already started the next chapter, so "Grilled Cheesus" should be up in a week or less. I know I can't believe it either! Thank you guys so much for reading and for sticking with me. You'll never know how much it means to me. Until next time…