"...So" Germany coughed, as he gazed around the room. "Is this...all of you?"
Everyone simply stared at him.
"Get on with it, will you?" Austria grumbled, after a brief moment of silence. "I'd like to finish this before the humans discover our whereabouts and destroy the last bit of hope we have left."
Prussia snorted and slouched back in his chair. "Way to bring up the mood" he muttered.
"Big Brother France?" Italy said, leaning towards the blonde. "Fratello was with you, wasn't he? Where is he?"
France shuffled awkwardly and avoided Italy's eyes. "Ahh...yes!" he laughed. "Well...he is...alive..."
"Well of course he's alive, silly!" Italy exclaimed, laughing obliviously. "That's not what I was asking!"
"He's...on the ground..."
Italy laughed again. "Big Brother France is so silly!"
France opened his mouth to reply but Germany cut him off.
"Yes he is!" the blonde said. He pushed Italy out of the way and leaned over towards France.
"Tell me you didn't kill South Italy" he hissed. "The last thing I need at the moment is a hysterical Italy."
"I didn't do anything!" France protested. "Oh and yes - he is fine" he added, after a brief pause.
Germany stared at him for a moment and then, after closing his eyes and shaking his head, made his way back to his seat.
"Switzerland, why on Earth do you need a gun in here?" England asked, focusing his attention on the nation in question.
"To keep the humans away" Switzerland replied, as he glared at the wall and continued to point his gun at it, as if he expected something to jump out.
England's brow furrowed. "There aren't any humans in here..." he muttered.
Liechtenstein smiled at her brother, lovingly. "Big Brother likes his gun very much" she stated, happily. "If big brother is happy, then I am happy!"
Hungary gazed around the room, frowning as she noted the small amount of countries present. Brushing this off, she smiled at everyone and tried to stay optimistic.
"Did anyone have a hard time getting here?" she asked.
"Nah!" America laughed. "I came with Iggy!"
"Never again" England muttered. "Never again."
"Oh, it was easy for us!" Finland laughed (almost everyone could hear the strain hidden behind the cheerful facade). "The reporters barely bothered us!"
Sweden patted him on the shoulder.
Finland gazed around the room, his eyes flickering rapidly.
"Where...where's Denmark?" he asked. Despite trying to sound nonchalant, their was a dangerous glint in his eyes.
Austria looked at him oddly. "Denmark?" he repeated. "Why on earth would you want to know -"
"Just answer the question, alright!" Finland snapped, his smile fading and a dark look crossing his face. A moment later it was gone, and the happy mask was back.
"I mean" he laughed, as Austria stared at him with wide eyes. "I was just...wondering."
"I'm surrounded by crazy people" Austria muttered. In a louder voice, he said; "Denmark obviously didn't make it."
Finland looked slightly pleased about this. "Oh?" he murmured. "I hope he wasn't hurt too badly..."
"...I never said he was hurt..." Austria looked at Finland strangely.
Finland laughed again. "Of course not!" he exclaimed. "That would be terrible!"
"You know" Canada said. "I found it really hard to get here! Everyone kept stopping me on the streets and taking pictures...I ended up having to use all these alleyways and dark spots to make it without being seen! And even then, people were trying to get at me, and -"
"Do you hear something?" America cut him off, looking around the room in confusion.
"Of course not you idiot" England laughed. "You're just hearing things!"
Canada's shoulders slumped.
"Russia?" Ukraine turned to her brother, her brow furrowed slightly, and a look of concern evident on her face. "Have you seen Belarus? I hope she's alright."
"I hope not" Russia muttered.
Ukraine frowned. "What?" she asked.
"Nothing, nothing" Russia replied. 'Please let the mobs have gotten her...'
Germany stood up and the room fell silent (a rare thing in a world conference).
"I have a suggestion for what we could do to deal with this" the blonde nation said, his voice authoritative. "Perhaps a few of us could hold a press conference to deal with the situation; attempt to control the crowd a little. Perhaps giving them some actual information will calm things down a bit, and will stop everyone from making so many assumptions."
"Yes" England muttered. "Like the assumption that I am in a relationship with my two younger brothers..."
France frowned at him. "You mean isn't true?"
England stood up, his face thunderous. "Of course it isn't true!" he roared.
"Shut up" Germany told him. He turned back to look at the room at large. "It would be too much trouble if everyone was attempted to get involved" he said. "We should limit it to a few nations; perhaps three or four. We will then broadcast the interview to as many countries as we possibly can. Hopefully, if we take matters into our own hands and stop running away and hiding, we might be able to help the situation."
"Good idea!" England smiled. "Which countries would like to do this?"
No one answered.
"Belarus is going no where near a camera" Russia suddenly snapped. "Suggest this to her and I will smash you with my pipe."
Once again, no one answered.
"Ve..." Italy turned at gaze at Germany with wide eyes. "Germany suggested it - he should do it!"
"Yes, that's actually a good idea" England agreed. "Germany, you are usually quite good at these type of things -"
"NO!"
Everyone stared at Germany, startled by his loud exclamation.
"I mean..." Germany coughed, sitting back down. "I...do not think that would be a good idea..."
England frowned. "Why not?" he asked.
"I just don't, okay!" Germany grumbled.
England tried again. "But -"
"Goddammit, they already know where I live!"
America decided to butt in at this moment. "Being the hero I am" he announced, flashing everyone his trademark grin. "I would totally do it, except my people are kind of acting like fuck-tards. However, have no fear - I have a plan!"
Groans irrupted around the room.
"Oh dear lord" England moaned.
Undeterred by their reactions, America continued to smile. "We should make Sealand, Canada and Prussia do it!"
"Dare I ask...why?" England sighed.
"Because, it's obvious, duh!" America gestured towards Sealand. "Sealand's not even a country, so no one's going to freak out over him -"
"Hey!" Sealand snapped. "I am too a country! I'm the best country in this room -"
"Shut up kid" Prussia told him.
"...And Prussia's not even a country anymore, so the same pretty much goes for him" America continued.
"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!" Prussia howled. "Those losers can only WISH for the chance to bask in my glory!"
"...And no one even knows who the other guy is" America added, completely ignoring Prussia's exclamation.
"Canada" Canada muttered, frowning at his twin.
"I'm sorry, who are you?" America turned to frown at him in confusion. "You realize that this is a private - oh, Canada!" his eyes widened in realization.
"...Yes."
"Well, yeah, bro, no one ever knows your there" America laughed, slapping his brother on the arm. "So your the perfect candidate! Everyone would be too excited by the presence of the rest of us - mostly me - to listen - but you guys are useless and invisible, so it'd totally work!"
"MY ARMIES WILL COME AFTER YOU IN YOUR SLEEP AND CRUSH YOU!"
Unsurprisingly, this came from Prussia.
"So, whose in?" America asked the room.
"America!" Canada snapped. "This is so unfair!"
"Papa! Mama!" Sealand wailed. "He can't do this to me!"
"...America, I don't think that I like this idea very much..." Finland stated, frowning.
"You wanna take his place?" America asked.
Finland stared at him for a moment. "...Sealand, I'm sure it won't be that bad" he said, at last.
"MAMA!" Sealand howled. "You traitor!"
"WEST, GIVE ME YOUR GODDAMN ARMY!" Prussia continued to scream.
"...You know" Germany muttered. "It is actually a good plan."
...
"So, they asked you to give a conference?"
Canada's boss leaned against his seat, staring at his nation through curious eyes. Canada nodded his head.
"Yeah, they did" he replied.
His boss's brow furrowed. "Why?" he asked.
"Because, uh..." Canada hesitated for a moment. Somehow America's explanation just didn't seem...well, it would have utterly humiliated him. Forcing a convincing smile onto his face, he began to lie through his teeth.
"It's because they all think I'd be the right guy for the job" he explained. "They think that I'd be good at handling the crowd and manipulating the situation and uh...they think, more than anyone else, I'd have the best chance at fixing the situation. They said they had a lot of faith in me and my abilities, you know?"
His boss looked surprise. "Really?" he exclaimed. "But you're always complaining about them not treating you right!"
Canada shrugged. "Well, I guess they finally realized that I'm just as good as them."
"Well its about time!" his boss grinned.
"Yup" Canada nodded his head. On the inside, he sighed guiltily.
"So...you're holding the conference" his boss still seemed surprised.
"Yup" Canada replied. "Me, Prussia and Sealand."
"Who?"
"Prussia and Sealand" Canada repeated. His boss stared at him blankly.
"...I've never heard of them" the human muttered, shaking his head.
"Prussia's the white haired guy" Canada prompted. His boss continued to stare at him without any hint of recognition.
Canada coughed. "Uh, you know...'I am awesome!' 'Suck it losers, the awesome me is here!' 'My armies will crush you!' ...no?"
His boss continued to stare at him for another moment, before his eyes lit up with realization.
"Oh!" he exclaimed, snapping his fingers. "You mean that creep who kept asking me what I thought about the invasion of vital regions?"
"...Yeah that sounds like him" Canada replied.
His boss frowned. "I thought he wasn't a country anymore...why would he be holding a conference?"
"Oh you know..." Canada waved one hand, dismissively. "Same reason as me."
"Oh" his boss frowned again. "And what about the other fellow?"
"Eh? Sealand? Well he's...uh..." Canada thought for a moment. "He's...this guy. Kind of short...always wears a sailor costume..."
His boss stared at him, blankly.
"...You know what, it doesn't matter" Canada finally said. "You probably haven't met him anyway."
"You know Matthew" his boss said, frowning. "Other than you, of course, those were some strange choices..."
Canada shrugged. "Well, everyone seemed to think it was a good idea" he said. 'For completely different reasons of course.' "I guess, majority rules."
"Right" his boss shrugged his shoulders. "Well, at least it's you and not some idiot who would probably just screw things up further."
"You mean my brother."
"...Yes..." Canada's boss looked awkward.
"Yeah, well" Canada hesitated for a moment, before continuing. "It was his idea to use me."
"Really?" his boss looked surprised.
"Yeah!" Canada smiled. "I guess he's starting to appreciate me more."
'...I wish.'
...
AN:
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand here's another chapter! Haha, thank you so much for all your amazing reviews! Your guys are the best :D
I'm having so much fun writing this fic...I love writing humor xD This fic is going to get pretty insane so I hope you continue to enjoy it!
Review please! :D