We remained in Lothlórien for a little over a week's time. We regained our original strength slowly and reigning in our emotions took even longer. For the Hobbits, this was the first gruesome death they had ever seen and it took longer for them to regain their control. We left the day they had fully recovered.
Galadriel bade us farewell before we left and gave us all a new cloak with a leaf broach to close it. She then presented us each with a special gift. I watched as Legolas was given a mighty bow, Merry and Pippin received new daggers, Boromir was given a golden belt, and Sam was given eleven ropes. I stood next to Gimli as Galadriel walked up to him.
"And what gift would a dwarf ask of the elves?" She asked. I heard Gimli stutter out a beautiful statement of looking upon her fair face one more time and blush as he did so. Before she passed him by, he did ask for one more thing. The red of his cheeks darkened as Galadriel reached up and plucked three strands of hair from her golden head and placed them into Gilmli's hands. She chuckled lightly as she turned towards me.
"This, Lady Lúthien," She said to me as she pulled out a necklace and presented it to me. I bowed my head as she placed it around my neck. The chain was a roll of leather and the pendant was a ring with a stone set in the center of it. "This is a ring of my own design. It is to remind you of what is and what was."
"I have only seen this stone once," I whispered as I examined it. "It is of the same stone that was set in Gandalf's staff." She nodded at my excitement. "Thank you, Lady Galadriel," I bowed my respect and continued to examine the necklace.
I paid little attention to what she gave the others. But, as I looked, I saw her finish speaking to Estel and move to Frodo. She gave him a vial full of a liquid light, the Light of Earendil, the brightest of all stars. She smiled and moved back.
"There are boats on the river to carry you on the next leg of your journey," She smiled as she gestured to them. "Farewell, Fellowship of the Ring, may your task be successful."
She waved farewell to us as Legolas, Boromir, and Estel pushed the three boats off the shore and got into them. They each picked up the paddle within the boat and began to paddle down the river. I was in the boat paddled by Legolas with Gimli in front of me and Legolas behind. Gimli looked off into the open space a slight blush still on his face.
"Gimli," Legolas called from behind me, "what gift did Galadriel give you to make your cheeks redden as they are."
"I asked her for a golden hair from her head," He sighed at the memory. "She gave me three." I heard Legolas snicker lightly as I held back my own voiced amusement.
We moved down the river in a communal silence. There wasn't much to say if we were to talk anyway. We all let our minds wander to old thoughts. As I looked over, I saw Estel in his boat. He had a distracted look and his face while his fingers toyed with Arwen's necklace. He looked worried for an unknown reason. I was slightly worried as well. I knew the age of Elves was coming to an end. I knew that, eventually, all of the elves would take ships for the Grey Haven to the Undying Lands. It was a scary thought. Everyone I had ever known in my short years in Middle Earth suddenly leaving to a new land.
But I did not want to leave. I loved Middle Earth and everything in it. Well, almost everything that is. I could not stand to be anywhere near Eglarest. Fortunately for me, we would be nowhere near that area on this journey. It was far out of reach of Sauron's gazed and I highly doubted it was affected at all by this war.
I began to copy Estel's movements with my own necklace. The ring was made of beautiful silver that seemed to be made of the waters of Galadriel's mirror pool. I was mesmerized by the stone as well. I had only ever seen it within my Father's staff. But it could not have been of that stone. The staff had fallen with him and had probably been burned by the Belrog's skin.
I could never stop that thought from entering my mind. A constant haunting nightmare. I had not truly slept in days. I had only taken small and haunted naps whenever I had gotten a chance to do so. I had not slept yet on the boat for fear of worrying both Gimli and Legolas although they had been telling me to rest throughout the trip. They had noticed I was not sleeping well and were trying to help. But, some tasks are easier said than done.
"Legolas, Boromir," I heard Estel call over the rapids of the soon approaching waterfall. "We shall stop over there on the East Bank for the rest of this day. Tomorrow, we will cross the river and be on our way," Boromir and Legolas nodded simultaneously and began to steer the boats towards the eastern shore.
We set up camp as soon as the boats were on the shore. The Hobbits started the fire while Boromir and Legolas went off hunting. Gimli, Estel, and I all began to survey the re to make sure it was safe and free of Uruk-hai. Gimli went off in one direction while Estel and I went off in another.
"You seem quite tired, Lúthien," Estel observed as we walked. "How long has it been since you last had a good night's rest?"
"Not since the night before entering Moria," I honestly answered not wanting to lie to him more than I had to.
"Dear Valor," He half shouted. "How have you survived this long?"
"I have slept," I reassured, "just not very well."
"And what haunts you so you do not sleep," He stopped us so he could look at me. His face was painted with worry which seemed to be a common state for him now.
"It is unimportant what it is, Aragorn," I replied as I stepped around him to continue scouting. "All that matters is that I get over it and get some rest. I fear I will not be able to go on like this much longer."
"Aye and I don't expect you to." He turned as we continued to walk around the area. At some point, he had said we had looked far enough and that we should turn back.
I a motion that was foreign even to me, a question come rushing out of me. "Aragorn, why did you look so worried when you were fingering Arwen's necklace in the boat earlier?" He stopped as gazed at me and seemed quited confused. I continued to calrify, "When I looked over towards your boat earlier this day, you were touching Arwen's necklace and had a look of worry on your face. You seemed distant as well as if trying to figure out a way to help someone when you know all hope is gone." I stopped him and forced him to face me. "Please, Aragorn, if there is something wrong with my sister, I have a right to know."
He sighed as he began his tale. "Galadriel gave me no gift, for she said there was no greater gift then the one I already possessed: Arwen's love. But she told me that it came with a price, that which I already knew. By giving me her love, she would slowly lose herself. I had advised Arwen to go to the Undying Lands and be with her people, and I was told by Galadriel that the choice was still before her." He sighed once more as his head dropped. He seemed to gain age in a mere two minutes. "I fear that she will not go and that she will die waiting for me to return. She has told me that she would rather die in these lands then live without me forever. I just hope she sees what I right before it is too late."
"Aragorn," I began, offering what little assurances I could. "She will do what is right. She will not allow herself to die because of foolish stubbornness. She will be alright."
He nodded as we began to walk once more. By this point we had returned to the campsite. Legolas and Boromir and come back with some rabbits which were being skinned and cleaned by Sam. Merry and Pippin and taken to sword play with their blunt blades to practice their fighting skill and Boromir was supervising them once again. Gimli had not yet returned and I assumed he had walked a little further than Estel and I had. While Legolas and Estel wandered off, I decided to sit beside the only unoccupied person at the moment; Frodo.
"Are you alright Master Baggins," I asked politely more to make him aware of my presence than anything else. He seemed lost in a dangerous thought when I had walked up and I had felt it necessary to pull him out of it. "You seem quite troubled."
"No more than anyone else here, Lúthien," He replied solemnly. "I just have the time to occupy my mind with such thoughts."
"Ah, I know the feeling," I agreed as I lay a calming had on his shoulder. "Do not fret, Frodo, for soon the ring shall be destroyed and all in this world will right itself again." He nodded a small response and seemed to drift off again. I let him be this time as I walked back over to the center of the camp. Estel and Legolas had returned with new herbs for Estel's medicine pouch. Soon watch times were being established. I, however, was always cut off from volunteering myself for a post by some man elf or dwarf. Even Merry and Pippin took over a post when I tried to take it.
"I will take the last watch, Aragorn," Legolas cut me off for the final time. He turned to see my annoyed expression and whispered, "I am sorry, Lúthien, but you must rest tonight." I nodded my agreement still slightly annoyed.
Sam had finished our day's final meal which we ate in a peaceful silence. Soon after night fell we had arranged ourselves with Gimli taking the first watch post. I had laid down on my pallet with Pippin on one side of me and Gimli's empty pallet on the other. Sooner then I should have liked, I succumbed to my overwhelming need for sleep.
My vision was once again filled with the Mines of Moria. We were at the Bridge of Khazad Dum. I was standing be Gandalf as he pounded his staff. The rocks shook, and the Belrog fell, but so did he. I grabbed is arm trying to save him. He begged and pleaded for my help, but he slipped. He followed the Belrog to his end. Ashamed, I began to run. Calls of, "Why did you drop him!" and "You should have saved him!" followed my every motion. And when I finally exited the cave, The King of Eglarest and my Naneth were there with a party of soldiers.
"So there you are, Raina," The King sneered at me. "We finally found you." They both came up to me. They bound my hands and feet. As the rest of the Fellowship emerged from the mines below, they saw the horrifying sight that I was a victim of.
"Help me," I called out to them. "Please, don't let them take me!" But they all turned their backs but Legolas and Estel.
"Raina," They looked down at me shocked and hurt. Once I confirmed my identity with a nod, they turned away following the rest of the Fellowship as they made their way towards Lothlórien.
"No," I called out to them. "Please, come back! Help me! Please…."
I awoke with a start. I could feel the tears that had stained my face through the whole ordeal. I couldn't stand to be near the Fellowship right now. The dream hurt me too much. I got up and I ran away once again. I did not know for how long I ran before I heard footsteps behind me. I no longer cared if I was followed. I just needed to run.