Shepard was waiting for the shuttle in the cargo hold with Kelly, who was going to keep Rana occupied while she talked with Miranda. She'd ask her for her thoughts first in potentially including the asari in helping Miranda figure out what was wrong as it was her brain after all. The squad disembarked, Jacob saluting her as he passed, Rana looked very nervous as was expected. What was not expected was the angry glare from Miranda who stalked passed her wordlessly.
"What did you do today Shep?" Kasumi quipped with a grin having seen the icy lack of exchange from the Cerberus XO.
"I'll find out when she kicks my arse next seeing as I'm banned from using my fists." Shepard sighed and turned to Rana, "Welcome aboard the Normandy, Rana."
Rana had forgotten that she was taller than Shepard and it came as a surprise to be reminded as Shepard just seemed so larger than life in her memories. She nodded at the greeting, "So am I a prisoner of war or something?" she demanded far less forcefully than she'd hoped to convey, she was far to well practiced at being meek in the face of someone who held her life in their hands.
"Not at all Rana." Shepard assured her with a smile, "I've never considered you an enemy, I thought letting you go on Virmire proved that considering how many others I did kill on that goddess forsaken rock." she growled and glanced away as the memories surged, of Kaiden telling her to go save Ash.
Rana relaxed a little, "So why am I here then?"
"I've some questions I want to ask you concerning neurology." Shepard shrugged slightly and returned her gaze to meet the asari's blue eyes.
Rana considered her thoughtfully, "Ah someone you know has been 'imprinted' with something and you want to know if I can remove it." she recalled the question the Commander had asked her earlier.
"I'm not entirely sure what's been done to them but someone's messed with their brain. I need to discuss with them if they'd be willing to accept your assistance, that's if you'd be willing to give it. I'm not in the habit of forcing people to work for me. For now this is Kelly, she'll show you around. I have an XO to debrief." Shepard began to turn.
Kasumi burst out laughing and Kelly could barely keep her own smile at bay.
Shepard frowned slightly as she thought about what she'd said and what was to funny about it. She scowled, "So not what I meant. What is it with you people?" she muttered, her cheeks slightly pinker before she walked away quickly.
Rana was plainly confused.
Shepard entered the communications/briefing room to find Miranda pacing and arguing with Jacob already.
"Bringing the krogan aboard to study makes sense but waking it is a risk we cannot afford to take." she asserted with frustration.
"So you've said, several times already, but it's not up to you Miranda." Jacob was leaning back against the wall with his arms crossed until then and he nodded to the Commander as he straightened to attention.
Miranda glared at Shepard wordlessly though she did stop pacing.
Shepard strode around to the head of the holographic display, flicking it off as she did then looking back to her team, "On the whole the mission went rather well in regards to team work and leadership, as expected." she nodded to Miranda.
Miranda's glare didn't waiver, "Would have been smoother if someone could keep their comments to themself."
"I'll add it to the list of things I need to apologize for then." Shepard shot back quickly, "It seems to be growing daily."
Miranda scoffed but said nothing more.
"Besides it didn't affect mission and you're too professional to let a simple comment or two admiring your grace on the battlefield distract you." Shepard inserted smoothly and watched as Miranda's eyes narrowed at what she was insinuating, that right now Miranda was being unprofessional in her response.
Massani smirked but didn't dare chuckle as with the tension in the room he'd likely get his arse kicked by both women.
"Can't say I'm disappointed about not getting O'Keer. Miranda clearly wants to pass on the prototype to Cerberus scientists but we could always use a heavy hitter." Shepard looked to Garrus for his opinion.
"You mean other than you?" Garrus grinned to her, his mandibles clicking in mirth.
"We don't even know if it's mentally stable. The other krogan we encountered clearly weren't." Miranda interjected heatedly.
"This one was clearly different if O'Keer gave his life to preserve it. Beside's we happen to have someone aboard who can help us in that regard." Shepard reminded her.
"Oh yes, Rana Thanoptis. You do recall she informed you that none of the krogan passed her little imprinting process." Miranda seethed at the mention of the asari's name.
"Because O'Keer pulled them before they could complete it. I assume they weren't genetically perfect according to his standards so he discarded them. I'm sure you can relate, Miss Lawson." Shepard knew it was a low blow but it was a logical conclusion.
Miranda stiffened and looked as though she'd just been slapped. She knew very well what it was like for someone to be reaching for perfection and discarding those that came before for being flawed.
"I'll discuss the krogan's mental viability with Rana, pending that discussion I'll decide if I want to wake him or send him off to be studied like a lab rat just because he was engineered to be perfect." Shepard clearly enunciated her last words, making a crystal clear point to Miranda.
Miranda was furious to say the least as she stormed out, balling her fists to contain her biotics before they flared.
"Well other than pissing Miranda off yet again, job well done guys. Dismissed." Shepard nodded to them calmly.
While the others filed out Garrus remained behind again, "What was that about?" he asked softly.
Shepard sighed and rubbed her neck, "Something that will most likely get me plastered against the hull." she groaned, "Aside from that Miranda is... unique. The only difference between her and our new guest in stasis is their race. Just like the krogan was engineered to be perfect by O'Keer she was engineered to be the perfect woman by her 'father'. To put it very crudely she is a tank bred like the krogan."
Garrus was floored to say the least, "Now I would never have picked that."
"Exactly my point, Garrus." Shepard looked up at him with a fire in her eyes, "She is a sentient, highly intelligent human being in every way. Her origins do not demean who she is or what she can accomplish. Who are we to judge this krogan for having a similar origin? If he is mentally stable then he is a sentient being who has the right to make his way in the universe, to learn, to grow, to live like a krogan and not a toy for scientists. And I'll explain that to Miranda in better terms when she's cooled down... or assaults me in my quarters, whichever comes first." Shepard waved her hand dismissively as she made her way to the door.
Garrus smirked, "You really do manage to piss her off quite frequently."
"Oh you're not kidding. I can't go two days without saying something wrong to that woman." she moaned in dismay.
Garrus chuckled and headed left to stow away his weapons.
Shepard took a quick detour before heading up to her loft. Bracing herself mentally she strode into her private domain with two cups of vanilla iced tea, sincerely hoping it wouldn't cause an episode in Miranda but knowing that she loved the stuff, sophisticated and sweet was what Miri had called the drink when they were teens.
Miranda stood at the top of the steps that lead down to the lower living area with her arms crossed, eyes narrowed and lips pursed radiating great displeasure.
Shepard sighed and walked over to her console, putting down both drinks before standing before Miranda and offering her cheek, "Come on then, hit me with it."
Miranda scoffed, "Unlike you I don't need to hit things to feel better."
"Oh but it helps, come on, let me have it I can handle it." she tapped her cheek, fighting her smirk.
Miranda rolled her eyes, "I don't even know where to begin with you." she growled, not taking Shepard up on her generous offer, though she was sorely tempted to.
"How about a drink then while you decide." Shepard retrieved the cups and held one out to Miranda.
Miranda made no move to accept it.
"Vanilla iced tea." Shepard grinned.
Miranda's eyes widened, "How..." then she huffed and accepted it, another reminder that Shepard knew her from the past.
Shepard softened, "I'm not going to apologize for thinking you're beautiful but I do apologize for my inappropriate timing." she offered as Miranda took the drink from her. She braced herself again, "And I'm also not going to apologize for what I said. I want you to take your own origins into consideration here."
"They've got nothing to do with this krogan." Miranda snapped at her, her momentary shiver at Shepard calling her beautiful gone before she could even process it.
"I beg to differ Miranda. You were engineered to be perfect just like this krogan. You were created for a purpose that you rebelled against and are now living a life you've chosen to lead. Should we deny this krogan that same right to chose, to live, if he proves to be mentally stable?" she asked softly, trying to appeal to Miranda's conscience and not just her cold, hard factual side.
At that Miranda was actually torn. How could she argue against that?
"Let me talk with Rana, find out what he was imprinted with and if he's stable enough to wake. I have never seen you as anything less because of how you came to be. I see you for who you are, Miri, who you chose to be and no I don't like all your choices but they are part of a bigger picture and there are things that I deeply admire and respect about you." Shepard cocked her head slightly, "You're not perfect to me,"
Miranda scowled.
"but I never was so hung up on perfection, perfection changes depending on who's opinion you ask." Shepard smiled, "But I do think you're pretty amazing and I value your opinion and your company." she gestured to the lounge, inviting Miranda to have a seat.
Miranda glanced at the lounge, much of her initial anger had abated but she was still annoyed. Surprisingly she didn't quite know what to think of the fact that Shepard didn't see her as perfect. Should she be offended or relieved? Perhaps right now wasn't the time to figure it out. Sitting down as requested she sipped her tea and found it to be quite refreshing. It had been a long time since she'd indulged in the drink and now she wondered why.
Shepard optimistically hoped that she'd settled Miranda but would hold back on her inner applause until Miranda acceded she had a point or needed more convincing. Sitting down diagonally opposite Miranda she assumed a similar position as last time they'd shared a drink, feet up on the lounge and relaxing back into the head rest.
There was a few minutes of silence between them, Miranda collecting her thoughts and Shepard waiting patiently to hear them.
Finally Miranda looked over to Shepard who had her eyes closed and looked somewhat peaceful. "I can hardly hold your view of genetically engineered beings against you and I... I understand your point of view. If I can become my own person there is a chance that this krogan can as well. But only if Rana can clear his mental stability." she reasoned.
Shepard nodded, "That's the plan. You know I don't generally think much of tank bred krogans because none I've encountered so far have had a free will of their own. But if Rana can confirm this one's stable I'll give it a chance."
"But it wasn't why you brought her on board is it." Miranda got to the main reason she was angry with Shepard.
"No." Shepard looked over to her now and met her cobalt blue gaze, "I don't have the... education to help you but by the goddess anything I can do to help I'll do it." she declared fervently.
Miranda's chest tightened at the heartfelt sentiment pouring through those incredible amber eyes and suddenly her anger with Shepard melted away. It wasn't that Shepard didn't think her capable of figuring this out, it was that Shepard herself felt powerless to help yet desperately wanted to.
"If Rana's background in neurology can give you a platform to work from use it. She might not be well versed in human brain chemistry but between studying indoctrination and creating mental imprints she has an understanding of how the mind can be manipulated." Shepard felt her heart break a little at the wince in Miranda at that last word. "I... sorry I don't know what else to call it." she murmured, turning her gaze to the drink in her hands.
"It's not... it's just that you're right. My mind has been manipulated and I have no idea of who or how they could have accomplished it. I have no memory of being in a position where it could have even been possible." Miranda shook her head slightly, "You know so much about me, who I was, but I can't remember you and I can't even risk thinking about it, about why you care so much..." she couldn't finish the sentence, her voice trailing off softly.
Shepard got up and put aside her drink, sitting down next to Miranda and gently taking her free hand in both of hers, not meeting Miranda's questioning gaze. "Why does anyone care about anything?" she asked softly, not waiting for Miranda to respond she answered the question herself, "Because they see something worthy to care about." She slid her fingers between Miranda's and clasped their hands together. Leaning forward she gently pressed her forehead against Miranda's and whispered, "You're worth caring about."
Miranda closed her eyes, tears threatening at the swirl of emotions that began to build up within her at the genuine sincerity and heartfelt tenderness in Shepard towards her.
"And I'm sorry I keep saying the wrong things and making you angry..." she was stopped by a fingertip pressed to her lips.
"Well your timing could improve, but you're doing better than you think." Miranda murmured to her, smiling as Shepard pulled back to look at her.
Shepard smiled shyly and blushed, not sure what to say so saying nothing.
"I have to admit I was angry with you about bringing Rana aboard. You thinking I needed help felt as though you thought I couldn't figure it out by myself." Miranda admitted softly.
Shepard frowned, "But that's not..."
Miranda smiled and squeezed her hand gently, aware that her hands would still be tender, "I know that now. You want to help but feel unable to."
Shepard sat back but didn't release Miranda's hand, "I feel bloody useless. I'm a marine, I shoot things, point me at a hostile and it's history. But this... I don't know how to help and I'm the cause of hurting you if I..." she swallowed the hard lump in her throat, turning her face away from Miranda.
"It's not your fault." Miranda asserted quickly, then she changed the subject, "How are your hands?" she asked softly, rubbing her thumb in small circles over the first knuckle on Shepard's hand clasped in hers.
Shepard looked to them in frustration, though she was tingling a little at Miranda's touch, "Probably as pissed off at me as I am at them." she growled.
Miranda smiled at that, "So we won't be taking out our anger on punching bags in the near future?"
"Chakwas has banned me from it so no." Shepard sighed in dismay at the thought.
"Good, I was going to have it removed but banning you will require you to use some self control in restraining yourself." Miranda nodded in approval.
Shepard huffed, "You know my self control is pretty good most of the time."
Miranda raised her brow in a questioning expression of 'oh really'.
"I said most of the time. It's only when I get really angry that I lose it and then if there's no one around that deserves killing I restrain myself to the punching bag and not beating up innocent people. That's got to count for something right?" she muttered, scowling at the table now.
"So what had you so angry that you couldn't feel what you were doing to yourself?" Miranda asked softly.
Shepard closed her eyes and bowed her head, "The realization that someone had purposefully messed with your brain so you can't remember me. At first I thought it was your father, I mean he did try to have me killed after all. That punching bag had his face on it."
Miranda was shocked at that revelation, "But you don't think that anymore?"
"When I ask you who I am you don't just tell me my name, you pretty much give me my resume. It's like what we're trained to do if captured by enemy forces and interrogated, name, rank and serial number. For you it's like a trained response, one you don't think about it just comes out. That means whoever did this to you did it after I became a Spectre and saved the Citadel which pretty much rules out your father if I'm not mistaken." Shepard took a deep breath, "So then I thought it was Cerberus, but not even the Illusive Man would be stupid enough to do something like this when we're working together and I could give you an aneurism if I remind you too much of who I really am. That could seriously jeopardize our mission after all and with everything that he's invested he'd be a bloody fool to do this to you."
Miranda nodded slowly to herself, "So it's been within the last four years and though the possibility of it occurring on Lazarus Station is small, which would rule out two years, I'm reluctant to do so given I have no memory of how it could have happened."
"If it happened on Lazarus you should be able to access the records right?" Shepard looked to her, a touch hopefully. The hope was short lived when Miranda shook her head.
"The station was scuttled after Wilson's betrayal meant the facility was compromised. The data there was too sensitive to risk falling into the wrong hands." Miranda mentally cursed herself for ordering that so quickly.
"Wouldn't want people just bringing any old riffraff back to life now do we." Shepard gave a rueful smirk.
"You're hardly riffraff Shepard." Miranda scolded lightly, "I only work on the best."
Shepard smiled and her cheeks coloured a little, "So I'm the best am I?"
"Well you are the first human Spectre, saviour of the Citadel, hero of Elysium..." Miranda began to recite and smirked at the scowl that crossed Shepard's features.
"That's not funny." Shepard pouted, pulling her hand away from Miranda's and glaring at her iced tea.
Miranda smiled and slid her hand over Shepard's thigh, feeling her warmth and strength through her light shipboard trackies.
Shepard stiffened at the touch and looked down at Miranda's hand in surprise, her heart beating a little faster.
Both of them jumped slightly at the masculine voice that interrupted, "Hey Commander, I've got some stick up his arse turian demanding to speak with you." Joker informed her sounding annoyed.
"Bloody hell Joker." Shepard growled to herself, standing up quickly, "I'll take it in the loft."
Miranda rose more sedately and looked over to Shepard, "I'll be in my office, I'd like to do some background research on Rana for myself before I involve her."
Shepard nodded, "Yeah, she might actually suck at her job hence she works for despicable people on their devious plans." she smirked.
Miranda hesitated for a moment, unsure what to think of that.
"It was a joke, unless you really think I'm despicable and have a devious plan in..." she stopped and cleared her throat, "So that wasn't as funny as I thought it would be, never mind. Talk to you later Miri." she finished in a mumbled an sat down at her console.
Miranda smiled faintly and strode confidently out of the loft. It was starting to become a little harder to remind herself to keep a professional distance from Shepard. Shepard wasn't at all like she'd imagined she would be and there had been no way to know, given the mental block in her memory, that they had known each other previously. That Shepard truly cared for her. She clenched her jaw and purposefully thought of something else before that thought could go any further. Where to start digging up information about Rana...
So I would have posted a second chapter up tonight but then I realized I'd forgotten to have a chat with Rana and wake up Grunt. But I got Jack's pick up all ready and waiting for you all! It's... different. That's all I'm saying about it. ;)
Also I had pictured Shep and Miri having a fiery exchange but I thought it was about time to show that they can have a reasonable discussion without resorting to name calling and hair pulling... not that they would ever demean themselves in such a way. ;) Besides, given how much Shep wants Miri to get her memory sorted out it made sense that she'd be less fired up in her responses towards Miri... at least it does to me, and Miri is not some childish precocious princess, sure she has her pride (which Shep hit with asking Rana aboard with no warning to Miri) and doesn't appreciate much nonesense (Much of the party banter centered around her looks previously) but she's also intelligent and reasonable when given a reasonable explanation.
Oh I also picked up a few cringeworthy typos in the previous chapter in case anyone was fuming over them.
Reviews always appreciated. You never know if I might add in an idea of yours if it fits in with what I have in mind ) Though I will say there may be some unhappy campers with something I have planned... hopefully you'll understand why when the time comes.
Goodnight! :D