"I-It's so c-cold…"
"One...Two...Three…"
"W-When did it get so cold, Jonathan?" Lui stood in the snow, staring at Jonathan with wide eyes as his lips slowly began to turn blues "When d-did it get so cold?" Lui held his hands, shakily reaching for his gloves. He didn't look like a soldier; a ghost. He pulled his gloves off and dropped them to snow. His fingertips were black. "W-Why is it so cold?"
"I don't know, Lui." Jonathan whispered.
"O-Oh...God…" Lui collapsed to the snow before Jonathan could catch him, his eyes drifting closer as if falling into a warm and deep slumber. Jonathan stared at his friend, trying to understand what he was seeing. Lui had never appeared in his dreams before.
"Four...Five...Six...Why am I counting?" Jonathan suddenly asked. "To sleep. To sleep...Count to sleep. No...I must be awake."
"Why stay awake...When you can sleep?" Jonathan turned, his gaze landing on Evan who leant against a tree, a black dagger dangling from his hand. "Sleep...Sleep takes away all the pain. In sleep, you don't have to fight your demons…"
"But we all have demons…" Turning back around, Jonathan had to cover his mouth with his hands, fearing he'd be sick. Tyler stood over Lui's body, his uniform covered in blood that oozed from countless bullet wounds. There was no owl patch hidden under his lapel. "You can't run from them, Jonathan. You can't hide."
"Stop it...Stop it!" Jonathan yelled, turning away from them and ran through the woods, his tears stinging in the cold wind. His foot caught on a piece of metal sticking through the snow and he crashed to the cold snow. A pair of blue shoes stopped beside him. Jonathan looked up at himself, seeing the blood stained on his blue hoodie. He knelt down in front of him, his eyes glitching widely like a broken screen.
"Don't forget who the monster is...This time it isn't you."
Jonathan's eyes snapped open as he sat up, gasping for air. A wave of sickness came over him as he looked down at the horror in front of him, forcing him to get off his chair as fast as he could and retreat to the far side of the room, trying to breathe.
"Fuck…" Jonathan let out a small cry, his wide tear filled eyes on the bloody machine in front of him. "Fuck…" Evan lay on the table, his empty eyes staring up at the white ceiling. Jonathan was supposed to fix him but he had no idea where to start. He had dealt with machines before but never with machines that inhabited a human corpse. Jonathan took a deep breath, taking a few shaking steps towards the cold white metal table. "Evan…?" Jonathan whispered as he sat down, reaching for the tablet across the table from him. "Evan? Can you hear me?" There was no answer. Jonathan's hands shook as he stared down at blueprint on the tablet for Evan. He had to admit that Ryan's work was impressive. The nervous system was half nerves, half wires and gears kept his limbs moving but his heart still pumped. Ryan must have left his heart on purpose, to fool him and the others into thinking he had come back to life. "What makes you human...what makes me human? Or any of us?" Jonathan wondered aloud. "What is the difference? Or is there even one at all?" He shook his head, setting the tablet back down. He couldn't leave this room until Evan was back up and running, the thought leaving him overwhelmed. "What is the difference?" Jonathan said again as he set the tablet down, slumping back in his chair. "What's the difference between life and death when you have died so many times that it means nothing now because you just come back?"
The door behind him suddenly opened, making him jump as he turned to see Bryce standing in the doorway. "What is it?" Jonathan asked.
"I wouldn't be talking like that to me if I were you...Besides, I'm here to help you." Bryce said as he walked around the table to the other side of the metal table. "I helped Ohm build this one. I figured that I should at least give you some pointers."
"Why?"
"I don't want to go back to New Town." Bryce suddenly said, leaning against the table as if a heavy weight bore down his shoulders. "But all of us are programmable...and if Ohm succeeds, we're all going back to New Town. It doesn't matter what we want. If he says we go, we go."
"Why should I listen to you? You killed Brock."
"No…" Bryce shook his head sadly. "He did." He pointed to Evan.
"No. He wouldn't. He couldn't." Jonathan cried, his hands curling into fists.
"Ryan told him to do it, to weaken your group. So he did. He was told to throw me off you and get you to the front door only to be shot so Ryan could make you feel weak and end up being more submissive. He was told to throw himself in front of your truck and he was told to tell you that someone among your group is a machine. Evan isn't really himself anymore. Sure, fragments of his old memories and personality still exist, but this is a copy of a copy and made more mechanical than your Evan ever was." Bryce explained. "If there was another way, I would tell you to rip out the consciousness chip in his skull and smash it but we, unfortunately, need him if you want to get out of here."
"He's not...he didn't kill Brock...Evan is still Evan!" Jonathan couldn't meet Bryce's calm gaze, his hands curling into tight fists. "Still Evan...H-H..He...He's...H-He's…"
"This is what happens when you question your existence, Jonathan." Bryce sighed and reached for the tablet. He pressed a few buttons, creating a calm that came over Jonathan but it didn't leave him weak. However, for a few moments, he stayed silent, his gaze on the body in front of him.
"Am I more sentient than Evan?" Jonathan finally asked, his voice trembling as if he couldn't bare to even think those words. To his horror, Bryce nodded.
"E-Evan? Evan, can you hear me?" Jonathan watched Evan's dark eyes flicker open, taking in the white room around him. His eyes moved to Jonathan, a smile spreading on his lips as he sat up. Nothing was left of the wounds save for dried blood on his red jacket. It had taken a long time to repair him, but with Bryce's help, he was able to make a few changes.
"Jonathan...Oh, thank god you are okay." Evan suddenly hugged Jonathan tightly, wrapping his arms around him tightly. Jonathan pressed his head against Evan's chest, wishing that Bryce hadn't told him about Evan. He had wanted to be able to hold Evan like this for so long but now it was wrong knowing that this Evan didn't care; that he couldn't care. "I'm sorry. I wanted you to get out so bad but…"
"I know, Evan." Jonathan said quietly, moving away from the hug. He looked up at Evan, seeing his confused expression. "It's okay. We'll figure it out." Jonathan said with a reassuring smile as he stood up. A message from Ryan flashed on the tablet.
"Ryan wants to see us." Evan said, his voice suddenly calm and empty. Every word that Evan said sounded empty to him now.
"Right…" Jonathan sighed, turning towards the door that he could finally walk out.
"Jonathan? Is something wrong?" Evan asked. Jonathan's hands curled into fists as he turned to face him, shaking his head.
"Nothing...Nothing's wrong." Jonathan said with a smile before he reached for the handle, pulling the door open. They stepped into the white hallway, Jonathan's blue suit glinting in the bright light. Evan watched him as they walked quietly down the hallway, the only sound being their footsteps on the polished floor.
"Let me go! Stop!" A voice suddenly screamed. "Stop! Stop!" Jonathan ran down the hall, closely followed by Evan. They turned the corner in time to see Craig struggling against Four Zero and another man. "Stop! No! No!" Craig screamed as they dragged him into one of the rooms. Jonathan ran after them, coming to a stop in front of the door. They were in the middle of struggling to get Craig strapped down into a chair similar to that that had stolen Evan's consciousness and killed him, as the door closed on his face.
"What are they going to do to him?" Jonathan cried as he turned to face Evan who stammered, unsure of what to say. Jonathan suddenly grabbed Evan's collar, slamming him against the wall. "What are they going to do to him? I know you know!"
"C-Consciousness…" Evan gasped out in pain. "T-They are scanning his consciousness…"
"Why?" Jonathan tightened his grip, choking the air out of the machine. Anger crashed over him, making him want to do more than choke him. "Why?"
"I don't...Don't k-know!"
"Yes, you do!" Evan shoved Jonathan off with sudden inhuman strength, sending him sprawling to the white floor.
"What the hell has gotten into you?" Evan yelled. "I'm not the monster here!"
"Brock would say something different." Jonathan spat as he sat up. Evan took a step back from him, a hurt look spreading across his face.
"Jonathan...I had n-"
"No choice? Fuck you." Jonathan snarled, leaning against the wall as he got to his feet.
"Ryan pulled the trigger, Jonathan." Evan cried, his hands curling tightly into fists. "I wanted none of this! If it were up to me, none of this would have happened."
"But it did...and now your hands have Brock's blood on them."
"It wasn't me." Evan said quietly, tears welling up in his eyes. "I thought you of all people would understand…" Evan turned away from Jonathan, hurrying down the hall as fast as he could. Jonathan watched him go, a feeling of regret replacing his rage. Jonathan leant back against the wall, listening to Craig's muffled screams as tears spilled from his eyes.
"I've been here before…"
"One...Two...Three…" Gunshots echoed through the cold air. Brock fell to the snow, his hands reaching for the wound on his chest. As he landed at his feet, Jonathan looked up at Evan who held the gun tightly in his hand, his face contorted into one of pain and anger. Tyler stood beside Evan, his eyes wide with shock and confusion as he opened his mouth to yell at him. Bullets flew past Jonathan, sparking off the truck which Tyler ducked behind with the others. Evan lowered the gun slowly, meeting Jonathan's gaze.
"Four...Five...Six…"
"I didn't pull the trigger…" Evan said quietly. Jonathan shook his head. He lowered his gaze, looking down at Brock. Flowers grew out of the wound in his chest and bloomed in bright, bloody colours.
"There you are." Jonathan's eyes flickered open, focusing on Ryan who stood over him. He now sat against the white wall, not realising that he must have fallen asleep. He didn't realise how exhausted in every way he was till he tried to get back up. Ryan pulled him up, holding his arm as they walked down the hallway. "I'm afraid that I didn't tell you the whole story, Jonathan. You need the whole truth." He said with a sigh.
"You've told me nothing but lies." Jonathan wanted to be angry but he felt too tired to be able to.
"You've been through a lot, I know. It's a lot to process but I know your mechanics can handle it." Ryan smiled. Jonathan shook his head, trying to pull his arm away from him. They continued down the hall, towards the white room that Jonathan kept waking up in. As he stepped inside, he noticed a new pile of folders on the table. "Have you ever heard of the Calibre project? Or what about the Wildcat project?"
"No...What are you talking about?" Jonathan asked. Ryan didn't answer, only motioned for him to sit down. He pulled out the metal chair and sat down, staring up at Ryan with wide eyes. "You are a machine, yes. The Delirious Project. You know that. However, none of this real."
"W-What…?" Jonathan felt sick.
"This is a simulation designed to test you. I've been watching you this whole time, ever since you woke up one morning in New Town with your head full of memories as a New Towner kid. All of your friends are consciousness scanned around the time you were. Now that the simulation is complete, we can move on to the next steps of your development." Ryan smiled brightly.
"Everything...is a lie…"
"Yes and no. Your friends were real people at one point." Ryan said, reaching for the folders. He pushed the pile towards Jonathan who couldn't move, couldn't think. "These will tell you all about it."
"A lie…" Memories flashed through Jonathan's mind of Luke when they would play video games together before his death. He remembered how painful it had been to move on and how his new friends welcomed him in. He remembered his long midnight talks with the Vanoss-III and how one voice seemed to make it all better. He remembered how he had carried Tyler out of that burning tower, both covered in blood but full of the feeling of victory. He remembered, though it had been a drugged haze, how they had danced in La La Land and how he had held Brock as he died in his arms.
"I'll give you some time to process it. Don't lose your mind over it. Another day and it'll be done." Ryan smiled as he turned and left the room, closing the door behind him. Jonathan heard the click of the lock. Tears welled up in his eyes as he stared down at the pile of folders in front of him.
"None of it...is real…"