We rode for a long while until my eyes were near to closing bringing me to a deep and much-needed rest against Estel's back. Just before I succumb to the unavoidable slumber, Gandalf suggested we stop and make camp for the night. Estel helped me off of Hasufel's back and asked me to unsaddle him. I nodded sleepily and moved the horse to stand beside Arod whom Legolas was unsaddling as well. I stood in a communal silence with the elf as we were both lost to our respective thoughts. It wasn't until Hausfel nipped my shoulder that I noticed anything other than what was in my own tired mind.
"Yes, Hausfel, I see you," I joked lightly and patted his chestnut flank. He snorted lightly and began to follow me as I walked away.
"Seems that you've made a new friend, Lúthien," Legolas laughed as he watched the horse follow me to the fire. I chuckled slightly and tied Hausfeld to a nearby tree. I moved closer to the fire than and sat beside Gimli in front of it. As I looked across the plain, I saw Gandalf and Estel standing a distance away in a seemingly deep conversation.
"Aragorn is updating Gandalf I suspect," the dwarf informed me as he followed my gaze. "He has been dead for a long while, but I guess not dead exactly, but definitely absent nonetheless." Gimli ramble in jest before he turned to me with a brief concern. "You alright, Lass?"
"Yes, Gimli, I am alright," I responded as I stood. "Excuse me for a moment." I moved towards Gandalf and Estel as they finished their conversation. I stopped a ways behind them trying to decide what I wanted to say. I was unsure of how much Gandalf remembered and this thought alone worried me. If he didn't remember me, I didn't know how I would handle his return. I lost myself to my disturbing thoughts and was unaware of Estel walking towards me.
"Are you alright, Raina?" Estel asked calmly as he laid a hand on my shoulder.
"It is funny that the only mind state anyone is ever worried about is mine," I joked lightly. Estel gave me uncanny, all-knowing look which made me serious once again. "I am perfectly fine, Estel," I sighed and accepted his touch. He smiled lightly at the old, childhood name and squeezed my shoulder gently. "I only wish to speak with Gandalf." He nodded and released my shoulder as I strode past him moving closer to where Gandalf stood.
"I was wondering when you were going to talk to me, Raina," he smiled lightly as I approached his side.
"So you do remember," I hid a growing smile as he nodded his response.
"How could I forget my only daughter?" He looked down upon me and hid his own smile behind his wise smirk. "Aragorn has told me much of what has happened."
"Boromir's loss was most grave," I asserted as I tries to converse with him.
"True as that may be that is not what I am speaking of, Raina," He replied. "Aragorn told me what you have told him. I am worried about you."
I fiddled with the ring resting around my neck. "You just came back to life and you worry about my welfare?" I laughed slightly mostly to relieve the tension that filled the air between us.
"Raina, be serious," He half-scolded. He sat me down on the plain as he sat down beside me. "You told him the truth, but not Legolas or Gimli." An accusation and not a basic observation.
"He caught me off guard, Father," I defensively responded. I turn away from him then ashamed of my outburst and his thought that I may have chosen Estel's trust over Legolas's or Gimli's.
"I know this, Raina, you had a nightmare," he laid a hand on my shoulder and sighed. "You had them a lot when you first came to Rivendell as well."
"Did I?" I turned back towards him, confused by his statement and the sad look covering his features.
"Yes, Elrond wrote me at least once a week for a long while telling me about them." His face began to change and his features lightened as he looked back fondly on the memory. "He would always give you some substance afterwards to help you forget them and get some rest. I forget what it was though."
"It tasted like sweet fruit," I smiled as well now. "I remember the substance, but I just thought it was another medicine." We sat together in a communal silence for a few long moments before I had to force myself to break it. "I did not mean to tell anyone the truth of my identity, Father. I don't plan to stay near them much longer after this quest is completed."
"And why is that, Raina?" He looked confused, which was an odd and rare occurrence for my Father. It always seemed to me that he knew everything.
"When we achieve our goal, and if we have a significant impact on history, we will all be in the public eye and…"
"And you fear that the King and Queen may find you when this happens," I nodded as he finished my fears. "I understand your worry, Raina, but have you ever thought of Aragorn and the others as allies to protect you against them rather than people who could turn you over to them?"
"Yes, but what are they to do against all the forces of Eglarest?" I asked dejectedly. "The King and Naneth have all of Middle Earth believing that I am a traitor to the city and I would be captured on sight. This is especially true of the Gondorians, Aragorn's future people who's will he will be at the mercy of. That leaves potentially eight, including if we find the hobbits and I tell the truth, beings willing to defend me against two very powerful armies and all the people of Middle Earth? What are you eight against them?"
Gandalf paused for a moment and I feared my words had offended him. He sighed before he began to speak again. "Raina, it is your life you hide and therefore it is your decision of who you tell and who you don't. But let me remind you, you have more allies in this world then your account tells of now." He sighed once again and grasped my shoulder lightly. "Come now, it is time for you to get some rest."
I paused for a moment and mulled over what he had said before I leaned over and kissed his cheek lightly. "Good night, Father." I stood and slowly walked away with the sickening feeling that I had somehow disappointed him. As I moved away I heard him begin to lightly sing an old hobbit folk song and was comforted by the familiar tune. I didn't acknowledge the odd looks I received from the trio seated at the fire as I bid them all a good night's rest and laid upon my sleeping mat determined to sleep calmly through the night. It was only by some will of the Valor that I did.