The usual basic question and answer about vampires took about ten minutes. With these guys, it took closer to an hour and a half, and was filled with bizarre questions that not only had she never been asked, she'd never imagined. The reaction of vampires to subliminal messages? Alterations in bioconductivity? Kate wasn't even quite certain what 'bioconductivity' was, or how it normally reacted, let alone if it changed for vampires. She could answer the ones about photosensitivity and make reasonable guesses about enhanced sensory perceptions. The topic of altered emotional reactions took considerable time as she tried to make it clear that while a vampire retained their human memories, they didn't react the same way, weren't the same people any longer, and were highly dangerous.
Tired of Venkman babbling about 'inherent prejudice based on appearances,' Kate had sighed and pulled out her big argument. "Last week, Ada Walters was a quiet, battered wife. Her husband had put her in the hospital several times. A few days ago, we were going to do an unscheduled check, just to make certain things were going better. Things weren't the same, but they weren't better. She'd broken her husband's arms and legs in three or four places each limb and, considering the times of death, forced him to watch while she pinned his pal to the wall with a set of steak knives and started making incisions until he bled to death. Then she tore out her husband's throat. We could see his spine from the doorway, and the coroner's couldn't locate the larynx. Tonight she tried to rip out your throat. I'd call that empirical evidence of behavioral changes, increased violence, and an innate dangerous nature."
"I'm convinced," Zeddemore spoke quickly, his gaze flickering to the bandage over Venkman's neck. "Vampires are real, and not our friends. You had me convinced with the teeth marks look pretty real for a superstition."
"Alright, I can accept extreme behavioral changes and increased violence as a strong hypothesis. And… ow," Venkman touched the bandage, wincing again as his fingers touched the gauze. "But why? I mean, why the changes, what causes them? How do we go from battered wife to very strong, fangs, and an attitude?"
"I don't know everything. People who have been studying vampires for a lot longer than me have their theories. I don't know if I believe them, but they seem to fit the facts. Those theories are that…" Kate paused, glaring at Venkman, who was grinning at her with that oily charm. "You know what, it isn't my job to educate you about theories explaining the paranormal. There's a group of people called the Council of Watchers, based in London England. They've spent centuries studying that kind of thing. Talk to them. Or there's a bunch of old, heavy books. I'll bring you a copy of the list of book titles I was given, and you can look them up yourselves. I don't know why, I don't care why, and I'm not going to argue the whys with you."
Kate stood up, running her hands through her hair in frustration. "I gave Janine the packet of reports that might be in your area of interest. I explained what happened that caused Ada Walters to sink sharp teeth into your neck – and I'd recommend Holy Water and antibiotic ointment for that, by the way. Be careful of who you flirt with, some of them take the phrase 'man eater' to whole new levels."
Walking away from the guys, Kate paused by Janine's desk. Speaking in a low voice, "I'll drop by tomorrow with a list of some books for them to look up, and some practical basics. Holy water and antibiotics for the wounds, don't give any verbal invitations after dark, and be careful."
"The rest of the guys aren't as over the top as Peter. He can be a bit much," Janine sighed. "I'll be here."
Kate just nodded. Over the top was one way to describe Peter Venkman, perhaps a more polite way than what came to her mind. She reminded herself as she left the former firehouse – if Venkman ever gets killed by vampires, have the coroners immediately remove the heart. He's bad enough alive, a vampire would be even more irritating. Now, just where had she put that list of books…
The rest of the evening was business as usual, though Kate was in an irritated mood for the rest of the night. Petty criminals, a pair of shoplifting teenagers, a drunk driver, another driver who didn't smell of alcohol but swore that he'd been cut off by a little red corvette driven by a scaly green lizard with a two headed poodle. They'd given that one every sobriety test that they could short of hospital lab-work. It was after the third test that Kate's prior experience with demons reminded her that there were creatures out there that looked like humanoid lizards. That the idea of a two headed dog wasn't impossible, though a two headed poodle did sound absurd. In the end, he was permitted to continue on his way with a reminder that he needed to be careful enough that he didn't cause an accident, no matter what the other drivers looked like, yes, even if they were lizards driving red corvettes, even if it was the two headed poodle driving.
As the still shaken man left, O'Rourke grumbled "I want a red corvette."
"Yours can be without the poodle, regardless of how many heads it has," Tashir insisted. "And wasn't Angie allergic to dogs anyhow?"
"Yep." O'Rourke sighed, and muttered almost too low for Kate to hear, "and that almost makes getting a dog worth it. Angie repellent."
"Stepping aside from our various dreams of cars that we may not be able to afford today, I think I'm going to have to tell you a bit more about some of what was happening in LA before I left. Especially if we're going to keep getting lovely crime scenes like the Walker apartment, and not-drunks babbling about lizards in corvettes. It'll keep us awake while we go over the paperwork," Kate was feeling rather tired of all the explanations, so she hoped that getting most of them over with now, while she was already irritated, would help get it over with. Just like ripping a band-aid off fast instead of teasing it up in the futile effort to keep it from yanking out the hairs on her arm.
At least they only asked questions that she could answer.
End part 9.