2. Chocolate and Boredom

Jack hadn't expected to end up as a little helper for the yetis when he had been called to North Pole for another Guardian meeting. He had been slightly worried that something bad had come up again. But no, it was a cold. Something he still couldn't wrap his head around. Jack never got cold or otherwise ill. Well, unless you counted the sick and loopy feeling he got when he spent too much time in warm climate. How was he supposed to know how to treat something when he didn't even know what it felt like?

Jack sauntered out of the cosy room where the Guardians had settled in. He jumped lightly over a couple of elves who were for some unknown reason carrying around something that looked like a car battery. Deciding it wasn't his problem, Jack continued into the workshop area, where he would no doubt find some of North's helper yetis. The workshop was in its usual more or less organized chaos. The yetis were doing their best to keep going even without North's guidance. Even though Jack wasn't looking forward to playing nurse, he could admit that the yetis did have their hands full in the workshop. Jack stepped in and he had to duck under a remote controlled plane. One of the yetis – a large chestnut coloured one – called out gruffly and Jack waved back.

"Hi!" he said, "North and the others have a cold. I think they need soup or something. North told me to help you."

The yeti nodded and sprung into action, leaving the small cars he had been painting in a neat pile. Maybe the yetis had some knowledge on treating winter illnesses. Jack sure hoped so. The yeti signalled two of his colleagues and they quickly ushered Jack into the massive kitchen of the workshop. The room was so huge that the entire population of Liechtenstein could have probably fit in there without any problems. There were five refrigerators that were so large that Jack could have curled up on one of the shelves and still close the door after him. He had once fallen asleep in one of them, actually. He didn't even remember how that had happened. There was also at least three stoves and a big black cauldron that was filled to the brim with porridge. Plates full of chocolate chip cookies had been lifted a bit higher up to keep the elves from reaching them right away. Not that it stopped them from trying, though. Dozens of the tiny things were running around and when the yetis started pulling out ingredients for some hot vegetable soup, a few of the elves jumped onto the kitchen counters to help them. Or possibly to eat the carrots one of the yetis started to chop up.

The yeti that Jack had signalled before suddenly turned back and pointed at Jack, grumbling something in Yetish.

"Uh... what?"

As an answer, the yeti dumped a large, intricately decorated samovar into Jack's arms.

"You want me to make tea?" Jack asked, "Okay... I can do that."

The yeti considered it for a moment, and then snatched the samovar back with an annoyed grunt. The amount of trust the yetis put in him was just so heart-warming. The yeti pointed at the kitchen cupboards and then to the teapot. Okay, so he had been demoted to looking for ingredients. He quickly hopped onto the nearest counter and opened a cupboard before the yeti changed his mind again.

North had apparently accumulated a substantial tea collection during the centuries he had been alive. Most of the flavours were Christmas-y and some of them might have been especially good for treating colds. The problem was that Jack didn't really know anything about teas. He had drank ice tea a couple of times, but that was it. He randomly took out a bag that had black tea with rose hip, cinnamon, and chocolate in it, at least according to the slightly faded label. Who put chocolate in tea anyway? Well, it would do. He tossed the bag to the yeti, who caught it and grunted in approval.

"Glad I could help," Jack said dryly and flipped down from the counter.

The yetis sent him to look for North's bag of medical equipment next. It was a huge leather suitcase and Jack dragged it straight to the room where the Guardians were resting. North hadn't moved from the armchair, and Bunny was still hunched close to the fireplace, trying to warm himself up. Tooth had settled to another armchair near the fire. Her wings fluttered nervously and she was drumming her fingers against the armrest. She was probably stressing about her fairies and didn't even seem to realize where she was anymore. Tooth really needed a break every now and then. Sandy was leaning to the wall and creating golden dreams that ran up into the sky through the open window. The little guy was still half-asleep and his dreams didn't seem to be on par with what he usually created. A three-headed sand puppy pranced to and around Jack as he entered the room.

"That's really cool!" Jack said and poked the puppy in the side.

Sandy looked at him and then his eyes widened as if the puppy really wasn't meant to have three heads. The puppy quickly hopped through the window and disappeared. The other Guardians turned to look at Jack, all except Tooth, who was still staring at the ceiling.

"Ah, my old medical bag!" North exclaimed when Jack let the heavy thing thump onto the floor, "Excellent! There should be something that helps with headache and cough."

Jack rummaged through the stuff. The suitcase seemed to hold much more than it should be able to. Well, it did belong to Santa Claus, so he shouldn't really be surprised. There were rolls of bandages and boxes of band-aids, but those weren't really needed right now. Jack set them aside and then felt a cough burning in his throat when some dust puffed out of the case.

"This stuff hasn't been used for a while, has it?" he remarked as he dug out bottles of some sort of foul-smelling salve.

North shrugged his massive shoulders.
"I don't usually need more than bandages for elves and yetis."

"Well, yeah fair enough. But seriously, you've had 3D-printers for decades but your medical equipment is still from the medieval times?"

"Medieval?" North snorted, "Not really. But some of them are antiques, yes. So be careful. That, for example," he gestured towards brass scales that Jack was currently holding, "Is from largest leprosy hospice in Europe from the 1800s."

Jack dropped the scales in disgust and blew on his hands until they were frozen. North laughed.

"Relax. Is cleaned up."

"Good to know," Jack rolled his eyes and then took out an old thermometer, "Do you guys think you have fever?"

If they had, there was no way Jack could know. Compared to him, the Guardians were all overheated.

"I don't think so," North said, a hand on his forehead, "Maybe just see if you find some cold medicine."

All right. Maybe this wasn't so difficult, then. Jack shook the remaining ice from his hands and finally fished out a bottle of something syrupy. It looked a lot like what he had seen little Sophie Bennett grudgingly take when she had caught a cold, "Hey, will this do?"

North clapped his knees.
"Perfect!"

Tooth's head suddenly snapped up.
"A canine in Shanghai!"

She looked around and she seemed to realize she wasn't in her palace, surrounded by her mini-fairies. She smiled sheepishly and slumped in her seat. They really needed to get better soon. Jack inspected the bottle of cold medicine a bit more closely and realized something.

"Um, North?" he said, "This expired in 1973."

Sandy grimaced and formed an X over his head.

"Sandy's right," Bunny said, "Forget about the medicine. All we need is a bit of... rest."

The word "rest" sounded like it was poison on Bunny's tongue. Jack could have said something snarky about it, but he didn't, as just then the yetis growled from the kitchen and he had to dart back to see what was going on. Apparently the yetis were busy shooing elves away from the now finished bowl of soup. The yeti in charge of the kitchen glimpsed Jack at the door and gestured at two trays on a side counter. There were five mugs of tea and five bowls of steaming soup on them, and Jack got the message and took the trays to deal them out to the ailing Guardians. There was a mug and a bowl for Jack as well, but he quickly set them aside. He didn't need them right now.

The other Guardians seemed grateful for the warming food and drink, though. In the blink of an eye, North had already emptied both containers and leaned back with a very happy expression on his face. Tooth held the soup between her hands and stared at it like it was the greatest thing since xylitol. Sandy chugged down the tea and gave a thumbs-up. Bunny smelled the soup and then the tea, and then took an experimental sip of both. It was funny to see the Easter Bunny, who was such a fearsome, even hot-headed fighter when the situation called for it acting so... analytical. Jack had by now realized that outside a battlefield Bunnymund was first and foremost an artist. And to some extent a scientist as well. And it took just a hint of a threat towards children to turn him into Crocodile Dundee.

"Mate?" said Bunny suddenly asked, his voice sounding thick, "Why do I taste chocolate in my tea?"

Jack shrugged his shoulders.
"North just had a huge collection of Christmas teas. I picked one randomly. What? Does the mighty Easter Bunny have a problem with chocolate?"

Bunny's nose twitched in irritation.
"It's a perfectly reasonable problem, ya gumby! I'm a Pooka! Pookas shouldn't have chocolate without a good reason!"

You learn something new every day. How was he supposed to know that? The biology of giant fighter rabbits wasn't the first thing Jack felt he needed to know in his life. Jack crossed his arms. The other Guardians stared at Bunny apprehensively.

"Um... are you feeling all right, Bunny?" Tooth asked cautiously. She was in the air now, her wings moving almost erratically.

Bunny had stood up to his full height and was shifting his weight nervously. His green eyes darted back and forth and he seemed to be pondering whether or not it was called for to... explode or something. Jack honestly wasn't sure what would happen. Hopefully it wouldn't actually hurt Bunny or anything.

"I think I'm fine," Bunny said after a long moment of awkward silence, "It was a very small dose and not too great quality of chocolate at that. I think it's-"

And then a third arm grew from his side and he fell gracelessly onto his back.

Jack clapped a hand over his mouth to stifle both a cry of alarm and hysterical laughter that both wanted to escape at the same time. Tooth and North gasped and Sandy seemed mildly amused. Bunny himself didn't seem to be hurt, but he was very angry, if his indignant muttering was anything to go by.

"Bloody hell! Sickness and chocolate don't mix! Three arms! Do ya know how hard it's to keep balance with three arms?"
Bunny looked at Jack with open hostility. It would have been almost frightening if Jack hadn't known Bunny would never really hurt him.
"Once this wears off, you'd better run, Frostbite!"

Jack didn't trust himself enough to withdraw his hand from his mouth yet. He could only nod wordlessly and tried desperately to shut away the thousands of prank ideas that now filled his mind. This wasn't the time for that.

"Bunny?" North reached out to pull the Pooka to his feet. Bunny hung his newest arm limply at his side and used the other two to dust his fur as if that would somehow restore his dignity.

"I'm fine, Nick," Bunny huffed, "I'll just sit here by the fire and mentally strangle nurse Frosty while I'm at it."

"I can just feel the love," Jack said dryly from behind his hand. Then he ran out of the door and burst out laughing as soon as he was out of range of Bunny's boomerangs.

During the next few hours Jack learned that the most difficult thing for a sick Guardian was to stay still. Well, he figured that would be the hardest part for him as well. Definitely. But for North, Bunny, Tooth and Sandy it wasn't so much because of boredom but because of their will to not stop working. Even North, who had been the one to suggest a day off, was constantly trying to get back up to check on his workshop. Tooth was in danger of falling into some sort of coma where all she did was blurt out names of random places even when there were no fairies around her to ask for directions. Bunny was constantly making notes on something. Sometimes it was formulas and sometimes it was sketches of new egg designs. Sandy was the only one who actually rested, but that was probably because he simply was so sleepy he couldn't keep himself awake. It was almost sad, really.

So after a while of watching his fellow Guardians squirm under the pressure of not doing anything, Jack set out to find something for them to do. Something to take their minds off things. The yetis pointed him to North's huge library, and Jack gathered as many books into his arms as he possibly could. He did his best to pick titles that sounded at least remotely interesting. He also uncovered a deck of basic playing cards and shrugged before slapping them to the top of the leaning tower of books he was carrying.

The sight of books seemed to snap Toothiana out of her coma. She was beside Jack in a flash, taking the whole pile from him as if it weighed nothing. She quickly sorted through it and took out a reasonably thick book.
"Ooh, a Gogol!" she said with sudden interest, "Thank you, Jack!"

She zipped back to her chair and opened the book, immersing herself into it with almost frightening excitement.

"North?" Jack asked in a small voice, "Is Tooth... okay?"

North waved his hand nonchalantly.
"She tries to keep mind off work. I think is good."

North's blue eyes widened when he noticed the deck of cards.
"You found my cards! I thought elves fed them to reindeer five years ago."

He snatched the cards and shuffled them expertly, and for a second Jack had a mental image of North as a blackjack-dealer in a casino. It was so funny he almost laughed out loud, but then he figured at least one of them had to appear somewhat sane in the situation. Somehow that job had fallen upon him. Jack Frost. That was not good.

"Bunny, you want to play?" North asked, and Bunny lifted his eyes from his newest sketch.

"Nah, I'm good," he muttered and looked back down.

"Oh, come on, Bunny!" Jack huffed and knocked his knuckles lightly on Bunny's forehead to emphasize his words, "Have some fun! It's good for ya!"

Bunny slapped the cold hand away when a couple of tendrils of frost sneaked into his fur.
"Get off, Brainfreeze! Ugh, fine! I'll play."

"Great!" North beamed as he somehow juggled with the cards, "Back in my day, we used to play lot of cards with my bandits! We'll see if I still got it."

His joy was contagious. Jack sat cross-legged onto the floor. At least there was some fun to be had even on a sick day.

Author's Note: First of all: Bunny growing extra limbs by eating chocolate is book-canon! I could not make that craziness up (well, maybe I could but not in fanfiction)! In the books, eating chocolate has very unpredictable effects on a Pooka, and it apparently makes them more aggressive in battle and yes, sometimes they might grow extra limbs or heads (at least that's how I understood it). Also, I've never drank chocolate tea, but I've been planning on tasting some. I mean, since I am both a tea freak and a chocolate nut it's kind of like a must, don't you think?

North having 3D-printers was inspired by a really funny and educational article in a Finnish Tiede (science) -magazine that had 24 facts about Santa Claus. There were things like how many kids Santa visits and how fast he should go and yes, even how many times more alcohol he can drink than a normal human.

Gah, winter break is almost over and I'm still tired! Well, at least the weather is nice even though it seems to think it's still February and just keeps going back to freezing and snowing. Oh, well. I like it.