Chapter 5: Father DNA
Neither the Captain nor Commander slept well that night. The Captain had the news of the impossible pregnancy burning firmly in her mind while the Commander had the knowledge of how he'd really messed up with her. Not only was he kicking himself for it, she seemed to be punishing him for it too.
The only time he'd managed to get more than five words out of her after their encounter outside her quarters was on the Bridge. In front of everyone, there was no problem what so ever. Hell, she'd even publicly apologised to them all about her attitude, blaming it all on her missing too many meals – not that she had allowed herself to use that as an excuse. The crew, of course, were fine with that and the rest of the afternoon had been rather pleasant, for them at least.
The Commander lay awake in the centre of his empty bed. He wasn't used to being alone at night and that was just one of the problems he was facing. He wanted to be there for her. He wanted to support her as best he could, something he'd obviously failed to do so upon finding out about the damn thing in the first place.
When his shift came around the next morning, the Bridge was already rather busy. Lt. Paris was busy plotting the latest course with the Astrogation Plotter, Ensign Omar, Lt. Tuvok was initiating his latest security sweep and Ensign Kim was busy doing his almighty systems checks.
The Commander made his way down to his chair, aware the Captain didn't bother looking up from her PADD long enough to acknowledge him. She was obviously still giving him the silent treatment.
It amazed him how she did talk to him throughout the shift, enough to not look suspicious in front of the others. It was killing him inside. He really needed to speak to her but that was something he couldn't do while they were on duty – she would never forgive him for that.
His plan was to wait until she went into her ready room. However, for the first time ever, she didn't go in. She remained on the Bridge for her entire shift. Perhaps that was part of her plan. She knew he couldn't get her alone if she didn't go in.
As the shift came to an end, the senior officers started disappearing one by one as their replacements arrived. The Captain was always the last of them to leave any other day, however, that day was different. That day she made sure she left the moment she was relieved, silently ensuring Chakotay wouldn't, or rather couldn't, rush after her. She knew him well enough to know he wouldn't want to make a scene.
He didn't bother to follow her to her quarters. He knew he wouldn't be welcome, a fact which was hurting him much more than he was willing to admit.
He was cold in his bed but he had no desire to move, no desire to reach for the sheet. He couldn't get Kathryn off his mind, the broken look on her face when he'd been dumb enough to not have complete faith in her. He honestly couldn't believe how much of an idiot he'd been.
Unlike the Commander, the Captain had actually managed to get a couple of hours of sleep that night. It was a light sleep but sleep nonetheless and if it hadn't been for the Doctor, she probably would have managed another hour or two.
"Doctor to Janeway."
His hail woke her abruptly. She jumped, unable to open her heavy eyes for a few moments.
"Yes, Doctor?"
"I'd like to see you in Sickbay."
Roughly rubbing her eyes, she rolled off her back and onto her side.
"I'll be there as soon as I can."
=/\=
The Captain hadn't been fully awake as she made her way to Sickbay that morning, therefore not fully prepared for what the Doctor had to tell her. To be honest, she thought she was dreaming when he first told her latest bombshell.
"Six months?!" she actually cried, "Did I hear that right…? Six months?"
The Doctor nodded.
She couldn't believe it. How could she be six months pregnant?!
On top of that, the Doctor had then proceeded to inform her that the child was fully human. However, that wasn't the best finding of the Doctor's analysis.
"The foetus is only physically about three months old." he finally finished.
The Captain's head fell forward a little, a frown deep enough to put the Earth's oceans to shame.
"How is that even possible?"
She may have been tired but her mind was operating well enough for her to understand that a human pregnancy at six months' gestation should not have resulted in a three-month-old foetus.
The Doctor lightly shrugged his shoulders. He seriously couldn't explain the scans any further.
"I wish I knew, Captain." he confessed, "I have no idea how any of this is possible and I really don't know how long your gestation will be."
The Captain's head dropped into her hands, her mouth unable to do much other than sigh. She had been hoping for answers but all she'd ended up with was more questions.
"If you'd like, I can try to find some sort of match on the baby's paternal DNA." the Doctor was delicate, "It could take a while because of this energy field but I can see what I can do."
The Captain slowly nodded. They'd have to start somewhere.
"Very well." she rubbed her temple, "Thank you, Doctor."
The Doctor did begin to move away, however, before he'd even left the bay, he stopped. Giving himself a moment, he spun around to see his very emotionally-drained Captain.
"Captain, there is one more thing."
For the first time ever he felt nervous to speak to her. He, the holographic Doctor who'd dared to use his medical clearance to outrank her with no hesitation on several occasions, felt nervous just too even consider his next suggestion. However, as her doctor, it was his job.
"Look, if this has got something to do with Chakotay…"
"Definitely not." he insisted, "Captain, your private life is your private life. It's none of my business."
She barely smiled despite the fact she was grateful to hear that.
"It's just, as your doctor, it's my duty to inform you of all the available options."
The Captain grew very rigid sat on the bio-bed.
"Obviously, you can choose to carry the child to full-term and either raise is as your own or allow another crew member to adopt. You have the option of transferable surrogacy or transferable pregnancy where the child is carried by another and then either raised by yourself or the surrogate." he listed off the available options programmed into him, "Then, of course, there is termination…"
"No."
The Captain said that word as adamant as she had been when giving the order to fire upon the Caretaker's array almost three years before.
"Absolutely not." she insisted.
"Captain, I had to inform you of your options." he tried to justify his actions, "It was your right."
The Captain slowly nodded. "And I appreciate that." she assured him, "But termination is not an option, not for me."
As a Starfleet Officer, she'd always valued life, no matter what. She honestly didn't think she could forgive herself if she ended the baby's life before it began.
"I appreciate some people do, and I wouldn't judge them for it, but I can't terminate." she explained, "And before you ask, I'm sure."
The Doctor nodded softly while she just glanced down into her lap. She may not have known how the baby had come to be but that made no difference in her eyes. She couldn't deprive that child the opportunity to feel their lungs fill with air. After all, it wasn't their fault how they came into existence.
"I just needed to note in my log that I'd made you aware of all of the options." the Doctor found he had to explain himself, "I'll also make note that you do want the paternal DNA analysed if and when possible."
The Captain smiled incredibly weakly. "You do that, Doctor."
=/\=
The Captain was soaking away in her bathtub, futilely trying to ignore all the information she'd received over the past couple of days. She was desperate for answers. She wanted to know what had happened to her
"Computer, did anything specifically happen to me about six months ago?"
"Please restate the question."
"Did anything happen specifically to Kathryn Janeway and Voyager about six months ago?" she reworded.
"The USS Voyager retrieved Kes from an alien planet; Supernovas were discovered in Spatial Grid 39-Theta; The entity, Q, arrived on Voyager; Captain Janeway left the ship; Captain Janeway returned to the ship; Supernovas discontinued in Spatial Grid 39-Theta; The USS Voyager was invaded by non-humanoid life forms, designated 'macroviruses'; severe damage was suffered in Holodeck 2…"
"Enough!" ordered Janeway, the flick of her hand harshly hitting the cooling water her body was soaking in, "Was there any time I was alone on-board with a male human other that Commander Chakotay, Lieutenant Paris or Ensign Kim?"
"Please restate the question."
She rolled her eyes. "Oh, forget it!"
The bath hadn't been as relaxing as she had hoped and as she slid her uniform back on, her stress levels seemed to rise once again. There was only one person she knew who could help her feel better and she'd been stupid enough to push him away. She had a nasty habit of doing that when things got tough.
Oh, she missed him.
The walk to his quarters was longer than it had ever seemed before. Despite the fact it was only at the other end of the deck, they seemed as though they were a million kilometres away.
He answered on the first ring, his surprise to see her evident on his face.
"Captain."
The use of her rank and not her name did sting a little but she guessed she deserved it. He was trying to ensure he didn't cross any off-limit boundaries.
"Is this a bad time?" she asked sincerely.
He shook his head. "No, not at all." he stood to the side to invite her in, "Please, come in."
She stepped inside and sighed contently. His quarters were always inviting even when he didn't do anything to prepare. Perhaps it was because they were one of only two places on-board where she could be with him and not have to act solely upon her rank.
"Can I get you anything?" he made his way to the replicator while she just stood there.
"I'd like to say coffee but the Doctor would probably throw me out of an airlock."
Chakotay smiled softly to himself. "Black tea it is then." he was smiling softly as he stopped before his replicator, "Computer, one black tea and one green tea, both hot."
With the drinks materialised and in his hands, Chakotay turned to see the Captain still stood near to the chairs in his living area. She'd barely moved in the time he'd been sorting out the tea.
"You can sit down, you know." he pointed out softly, handing her the tea.
She smiled as her hand wrapped around the mug before she lowered herself down.
He sighed, sitting opposite her. She certainly didn't look comfy perched on the edge of his armchair. He wanted nothing more than to reach out to her, hold her, touch her, but he knew he couldn't. He wasn't really sure where the pair of them stood anymore.
Black tea didn't appeal to the Captain as much as coffee but she did take a sip, mostly out of appreciation. She hadn't come for the tea.
Placing the cup on the coffee table in front of her, the Captain sighed. She couldn't put it off much longer. She needed to say what she'd come for.
"I, um… I want to apologise to you, Chakotay." she looked towards her lap for a brief moment, "I… I overreacted the other day in Sickbay, and I've been awful to you ever since."
She gulped and looked away as she spoke. "Not very becoming of a good Commanding Officer." her tone was highly critical which he knew she was directed solely at herself, "Or very good for a relationship… of any kind."
"It's okay." he assured her.
"No." she looked up, "No, it's not." she was adamant.
"Yes, it is." he sighed, placing his tea on the table, "You've had a lot on your mind… and I was no help in Sickbay."
She shuffled on the chair, her fingers nervously messing with each other.
"I just stood there, actually stupid enough to let you think that I thought you were unfaithful." it was his turn to criticise himself, "I promise you, that isn't the case."
The Captain shook her head. "Having a lot on my mind is still no excuse."
He felt his heart beat harder when he saw her eyes begin to water.
"I'm really sorry, Chakotay." her voice suddenly lost its volume.
She hadn't expected him to forgive her immediately. She didn't deserve that. However, she couldn't even begin to describe her relief when she found herself being pulled tightly into his arms, soft kisses soon being showered into her hair just above her ear.
She didn't like crying, didn't like appearing weak in front of anyone on-board. However, Chakotay was her exception. He was the only one who'd she ever allow to see her weaker side and that was why she didn't feel like kicking herself when she felt her emotions take over.
It turned out she needed him more than she had thought.
=/\=
It took about four days before the Captain had heard anything new from the Doctor and his analysis. Over that time, she had begun to seclude herself from the crew, mostly to give herself time to come to terms with what she was about to face over the following year. She was certainly thankful she wouldn't have to do it alone, Chakotay had vowed to be by her side no matter what.
She was aware the Bridge crew were beginning to worry but she couldn't find the confidence to face them, not yet. As Captain, she was confident in many areas: negotiation with hostile or unknown aliens, disciplining crew members, even making first contact, however, when it came to personal affairs, her confidence always seemed to fly out of an airlock.
Captain Janeway was as confident as they come, Kathryn Janeway not so much. It was certainly her weakness.
The Commander had accompanied her to Sickbay when the Doctor had called. He had been serious when he had promised to be by her side through it all.
She entered Sickbay and immediately clasped her eyes on the holographic doctor stood at the surgical console.
"What have you found, Doctor?" she asked.
"The answers." he told her, leading them both of them into his office, "You're not going to like this, Captain."
The Captain exchanged a brief, worried look with the Commander before he took up his place just beside her. The pair stood there, watching as the Doctor pressed a button on the wall console. In the few moments it took him to do so, the Captain eased herself down onto the edge of the Doctor's desk. Chakotay instinctively placing his hand on her back as she settled down.
The image of a human DNA strand appeared on the monitor. It was exactly what it should have been, a standard double-helix strand.
"This is your DNA, the maternal DNA, in your baby's genetic code." he explained.
The Captain nodded, mostly to herself. So far, so good. She understood that bit.
The Doctor then pressed another button, changing the image on the monitor.
"And this is the father's DNA…"
The image which then appeared made both the Captain and Commander frown.
Neither of them claimed to be biologists but they both knew for a fact that what they were seeing was nothing like any human DNA structure they'd ever seen. There was no helix of any kind, double or otherwise. It appeared to be more like some sort of loosely connected lattice. The only thing she could even begin to compare it to was the covalent structure of a diamond.
The Doctor then tapped another sequence into the console which made the foreign DNA molecule start to move about the screen and glow in no specific pattern.
"As you can see, it's in a state of flux." the Doctor stated.
The Captain could only shake her head in disbelief.
"I don't understand, Doctor." the Commander confessed, "The Captain told me that you said the baby was human."
The Doctor sighed. "The baby is human." he trailed off, completely understanding the obvious confusion the couple were feeling.
The Commander actually scoffed. "How?"
The Doctor glanced back at the display as he spoke.
"I've looked over all the available references on-board to try and explain this phenomenon." he began; unaware he was walking a very dangerous path.
The Captain's head was actually beginning to spin. "Just get to the point, Doctor!" she instantly regretted snapping and sighed, "Please." she stressed.
The Doctor sighed loudly. "Very well." he looked directly at the Captain, "This DNA belongs to Q."