"Fucking witches, man," Dean heatedly grumbles while driving to the local library. "The fuck is wrong with them? They're human! They could choose to just live their lives and not fuck royally with good, honest people. The could chose to not be disgusting."
"But that would make our jobs too easy, dear," Lizzy jests while dropping a hand on Dean's shoulder from the backseat. "You're looking at this wrong you know."
"Oh am I, L?" she bitingly returns.
"Yeah, you are. We know what we're dealing with now. This is a lead. Finding that hex bag is a great thing."
"She's right," Sam answers as he's hunched over in the passenger seat, working to untie the string on the hex bag.
"You know, I'm getting tired of hearing that," Dean says with utter irritation. Lizzy was right way too often for her comfort.
"Get used to it Hot Shot," Lizzy grins at her through the rearview mirror. "You're stuck with me for the long haul."
"Lucky me," Dean caustically returns though she knows it's true.
"Watch it," Lizzy playfully warns.
"Oh shit," Sam cuts into the conversation. He got the bag open and is looking over its contents. "This witch was not fucking around."
"What is it?" Dean questions, trying to look while also keeping an eye on the road.
"A cluster of dried yellow flowers," Sam starts with while holding it up. "Or I think they were yellow. They look singed now. I think it's asafetida."
"Damn," Lizzy says with immediate ire before asking, "Wait, what the hell is asafetida?"
"Long used herb in serious witchcraft," Sam explains while looking closely. "Really powerful and effective stuff. Early American witches used to burn the herb to an ash and sprinkle it on an enemy's lawn to cause them misery. Damn. Someone has it out for you, Dean."
"What else is new?"
"There's also a quarter in here, but it looks new. Usually the coins used in hex bags are old, ancient sometimes."
"Fuck," Dean speaks up suddenly with a realization. "Remember last night, we were playing pool and I was a quarter short for the last game after getting change from the bartender?"
"You think the witch was at the fucking bar and stole it from you!?" Lizzy asks, wide eyed.
"Could be," Dean confirms. "It would make sense."
"So a misery causing, super powerful herb, something you once owned or at least touched, and… uh…" Sam pokes at the dried up items at the bottom of the bag. "Whatever the hell these are."
Lizzy peers over Sam's should and looks, finding four small pebble looking items. "Any guesses?"
"Um, animal parts?" Sam takes a guess. "Most witchcraft like this includes parts taken from animals. That'd be my guess, but they're so small I can't tell what they are."
"Fucking nasty," Dean comments with disgust. "As much as I hate ghouls, witches win. They fucking suck all around."
"I'm sure it's comments like that that got you into this mess in the first place."
"Helpful, Sam. Thank you," Dean says sarcastically while she parks in an open spot by the front door of the library.
"I'm definitely calling Bobby," Lizzy says as her mind is running a blank as to where to go with this latest pile of mess they've found themselves in. "I mean, he's seen it all, right?"
"Doubt he's seen this," Dean complain as she throws the car in park.
"Yeah, but it's always worth a try, right?" Lizzy challenges.
"Definitely. Alright, you go call our man on the inside," Sam agrees before taking out his cell phone and getting out of the passenger seat.
"Where you going, princess?" Dean calls out the opened car door to her brother.
"Wait, remind me again of who the princess is between the two of us?"
"Fuck you."
"Ah, I think I'm gonna call Rina," Sam tells her. The situation immediately made him think of the gypsy woman they met a few months back. Her knowledge is vast and her power of the occult pretty damn strong. She's a great resource for them to have. "I figure if anyone's gonna know about spells this heavy duty and what not, it'd be her."
"That and she's somehow one of the only people hip to the whole supernatural thing that we haven't pissed off quite yet," Lizzy adds with a grin. "In fact, I'm willing to bet she'd be more than happy to help thanks to you, Sam-I-Am."
"Ha-ha," Sam fakes laughs as he walks away to dial her number and avoid the comments he's sure to receive if he stays. He hooked up with Rina once and he knows that anytime they contact her he'll get shit for it. At least he can rest easy knowing that it was all totally worth it. Rina is a great chick. He's actually really happy to have the chance to talk to her… and nervous.
"You know that ain't a bad idea to give her jingle," Dean remarks to Lizzy once Sam's gone, remembering how helpful Rina was the last time they saw her. Lizzy's ass would be done for if it weren't for the gypsy. "She might know something that can get me back to visiting the little boys' room."
"We can only hope," Lizzy comments as she speed dials Bobby's number while climbing over the back of the front seat like a child in order to sit next to Dean. As soon as the line rings she pops the phone on speaker.
"Hey Liz," the flat tone greets on the other end after just a few rings.
"Hiya Bobby," Lizzy happily greets as always.
"What's wrong?" he asks her in an already annoyed voice.
"Now why do you have to assume something's wrong whenever one of us calls you?"
"Because that's the only reason you ever call lately. Now fess up, what's it that you three stepped in this time?"
"Well…" Lizzy starts, glancing at Dean's female form once before trying to explain. "Dean's in a little bit of trouble."
"Excuse me while I faint in shock," Bobby caustically responds. "Lemme guess, he ran his mouth and pissed something off."
"Hey, I resent that," Dean bites, not having been able to keep quiet with the insult to her character.
"Who the hell is that?" questions Bobby, the voice he hears being completely unfamiliar to him.
"That… well, that's Dean."
"Excuse?"
"You heard her, Bobby," Dean butts in. "It's me. I know… I now have a voice that's perfect for phone sex lines, you don't have to tell me."
Biting her lips shut, Lizzy prevents the giggle that attempts to escape. She just envisioned Dean saying the nasty things she says when they're alone as a man but in her new voice. Surreal and quite hilarious.
"What the hell happened to you, boy!?"
"Girl," Lizzy corrects quickly. "We're taking a wild guess here and saying a witch put some pretty diesel mojo on Dean and made him a her." The line goes silent for a moment and Lizzy and Dean exchange odd looks before Lizzy tries again. "You hear me, Bobby?"
"I heard you loud and clear," he starts. "But I think I need a minute to process this."
"Take your time," Dean rolls her eyes with impatience.
"Uh, ok," Bobby rambles while thinking everything over. "Well, are you sure it's a witch?"
"Don't know what else could pull this off," Dean answers.
"Plus we found a hefty hex bag in the car," Lizzy adds in. "And hex bags almost always equal witches."
"Sure does," Bobby responds with a big sigh. "How the hell do you kids keep doing this shit to yourselves? Don't you get tired of being cursed or turning into things you ain't or just always having yer asses up on that choppin' block?"
"Just that Winchester luck I guess. Looks like I married into the right family, huh?" Lizzy brushes away the patronizing question. "And yes, it's getting old."
"Jesus, Dean. Sounds like you really ticked off the wrong thing this time."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence."
"Not too sure what I can do from here to be honest with ya," Bobby begins to explain with another, much heavier sigh. "Normally I'd already be in the car to come help, especially with something six way's to Sunday crazy as this. God damn worthless legs. Gotta say I'm pissed that I'm gonna miss this one."
"It's definitely a sight to see," Lizzy admits while winking at Dean, Dean not sure if she should be mad or flattered.
"You just better take plenty of pictures for me, Liz."
"You got it!"
"Fuck off, Bobby," Dean rolls her eyes.
"Well, at least that change hasn't made you lose your penchant for witty banter," Bobby quickly quips in a very flat tone. Lizzy stifles a giggle as their father figure gives them his two cents. "Well, be on your toes kids. There's a nasty witch clearly hangin' 'round your neck of the woods. I suggest you stick together and watch your asses."
"Will do," Lizzy responds, telling the truth.
"I'm gonna try and dig around here, see what comes up. I got a few books that might help. I'll call a few guys too."
"Um, could we keep the names outta it?" Dean suggests with embarrassment. "Like maybe you don't say exactly who you're calling for?"
"What, you don't want the hunting world to know about yer sex change?"
"No," Dean answers, her voice dropping an octave.
"Don't worry, honey. Your secret's safe with me."
"You know, you're funny for a crotchety old man," Dean bites right back, hating the ease with which people can make fun of his extremely fucked up and terrifying at its core scenario.
"Aww, don't be getting those panties in a bunch."
"Sam's also gonna put Rina on this one," Lizzy informs Bobby as she tries to cut the bickering short. "He's calling her right now."
"Sounds like a good idea to me," Bobby responds. "She was more than helpful last time. I'm sure she's got some tricks up her sleeve that we may not know. I like it."
"Me too," Lizzy agrees.
"Be smart and watch out and I'll get back to you kids as soon as I can," Bobby continues on.
"Thanks Bobby," Lizzy says before ending the call. "Hopefully our main man can come through for us this time."
"Yeah." Dean's downtrodden voice. "Jesus, what if other hunters hear about this? How will I live this shit down?"
"I think that's the least of our worries, Dean," Lizzy says with a scared expression as a thought comes to mind. "What if other evil things hear about this? You're an easier target than ever before. If anything has you on their hit list…"
"And plenty do," Dean interjects.
"Then now would be the perfect time to attack," Lizzy bites her lip with nerves. "We gotta get you on some kind of lock down probably."
"No way!" Dean denies her. "I gotta get back to being myself. This is not gonna work for me." She gestures to her overall appearance. "The more people we have on solving this, the better."
"Yeah…" Lizzy says without actually agreeing. She hates the idea that the target on her husband's head could be even bigger than usual. It was bad enough on a daily basis.
"I'll be fine," Dean tries to calm her wife's growing nervousness. "Like you said, we'll figure it out."
"I know. I just want you to be safe."
"I know you do," Dean smiles while grabbing her hand, still sometimes shocked by her encompassing concern and just how much she truly loves her… no matter what.
She didn't answer her cell phone so that means she's working at the store. Sam knows for sure that if he calls her work line that she'll answer and once more his stomach ties in knots. He's nervous.
He really should have called by now. It's been months since he's last seen Rina and after how helpful she was and kind and what they'd experienced together… well now he feels like a jackass. It appears that the only reason he's calling her now is because he needs something, and that is true, but it's also the only way he'd find the balls to call her. The longer he waited the scarier and more nervous it made him to finally do it. It was a vicious cycle.
Swallowing hard, Sam pushes send. Deep breath, free hand on his hip, Sam paces the front library lawn and waits while the line rings twice.
"Gypsy Vandaya."
Sam smiles instantly when he hears her voice greet him.
"Rina."
"Yes?" she asks, unsure of who's calling her.
"Uh, hey. Um, it's Sam," he stutters through. "Sam… Winchester."
"Oh! Sam!" she happily delights on the other end. "Oh wow! I was wondering if I was ever going to hear from you. How are you?"
"Well, I'm doing ok," Sam answers, the corners of his mouth still upturned as she sounds excited to get his call. How could he have been so nervous? "How've you been?"
"Oh, you know… just working down her in Louisiana. Keeping tabs on my crazy grandmother," Rina chuckles and Sam laughs a little too. Her grandmother was quite the handful. "I found her in Florida last month because of you."
"Oh yeah?" Sam asks happily.
"Yup, the Latin spell with the map you gave me worked like a charm," she informs him. "Where did you pick up that handy little trick?"
"An old… former friend," he cautiously answers, not needing to inform her that a two faced bitch demon was actually the thing that gave him the spell. "I'm glad I could help."
"So, how's Lizzy? The empathy stuff stayed away I hope."
"Oh she's fine. She's back to her old, swearing, angry, and drinking self."
"Sounds healthy."
"Maybe not healthy but she's normal for her so that's good," Sam huffs with the truth.
"And your brother?"
Sam pauses for a minute. "Honestly, that's why I'm calling."
"Ok, well this sounds bad already."
"It's always bad with us," Sam says lightly, the truth being much heavier than he lets on. "Dean's in a little bit of trouble."
"What kind of trouble?"
"Well, it's, um… it's new. Never really seen this one before and after doing some preliminary research I'm starting to think very few actually have. If any, that is."
"And you think I can help?" Rina asks with surprise. "I'm not some all-powerful thing here Sam…"
"But you're good," Sam rebuts immediately. "Damn good if you ask me. You're good on your feet and you're quick thinking. You know a lot more than you're giving yourself credit. I'm hoping you know something that can help."
"So he's cursed or something?" Rina tries to figure.
"Maybe. We're thinking it's a spell. We found a hex bag in the car so we're kind of assuming it's a witch."
"Oh," Rina says with sheer worry. "Well that's not really what I do, Sam…"
"Rina, please," Sam starts to beg a little. "We need all the help we can get right now."
He can hear her sigh heavily on the other line. "Ok, well, what did the spell do?"
Blowing out a breath at how ridiculous he's about to sound, Sam sucks it up and rips off that band aid. "Dean's a woman right now."
"What!?" Rina asks loudly.
"He's not a guy anymore," Sam spills. "When we woke up this morning Dean was a five-foot-eight, long haired, big breasted… chick."
The silence on the other line kills him. He'd have the same reaction so he understands but still…
"Look, Sam, if you wanted to talk to me it's fine," Rina says with a clear smile on the other end. "You don't have to come up with some crazy lie about…"
"I'm not lying," Sam assures. "I know, it's totally insane and not possible, but it's true. Dean's a woman and we have no idea what to do here. We need help and the first person I thought of was you."
Rina is silent again as she thinks it all over. With her silence Sam starts to think he's losing her.
"Here," Sam says as he runs back to the car in the lot where he finds Lizzy and Dean leaning against the back bumper of the car waiting for him. "Talk to Dean. I swear, it's all true."
Sam hands the phone over to Dean who is looking at him with confusion.
"She doesn't believe me," Sam quickly explains.
"Yeah, who would," Dean grumbles as she brings the phone to her ear. "Hey Rina."
"Dean?"
"Yeah, it's me," Dean answers in a flat, unimpressed tone.
"You sounds like a girl."
"That's kinda the problem of the week."
"I mean… I just… this is really you?"
"Yeah, it's me. Lover boy wasn't lying, ok? I'm a whole new me. I've got some tig ol' bitties and my junk is now only in my trunk."
Lizzy clamps a hand over her mouth to stop her laughing and Dean swats her with the back of her free hand.
"Well, aside from the voice it certainly sounds like you," Rina admits, the language used by the woman claiming to be Dean giving her true identity away instantly. "My goodness Dean, you really found yourself some bad news this time."
"Just a little," Dean sarcastically returns.
"You must have really pissed something off."
"Why does everybody keep assuming I pissed something off!?" Dean angrily asks not just Rina but the two hunters she's with.
"Because you're annoying," Sam answers quickly before taking back the phone. "Rina, can you help at all? Is there anything you might know or maybe you heard a story like this before…"
"Nothing is coming to mind, honestly," Rina admits. "Where are you guys?"
"Illinois."
"Long way from here," Rina worries. "Hmm. Give me, say, two days. I'm going to look through my own resources for a bit and find someone to cover the store for a few days. I'll pack up what I can and meet you there."
"Oh, well…" Sam starts to worry a bit. "You know, you don't have to come all this way…"
"I don't know, a guy getting turned into woman with spell work? That might be something to see. I want to help but more than that this might be a learning experience of a lifetime," Rina truthfully says. She's highly intrigued. "Plus, being totally honest… it wouldn't be bad to see you, Sam."
Staying silent, he battles the expression of giddy excitement and totally happiness that fights to make its place on his face. When he sees Lizzy and Dean looking at him with expectant and knowing faces he turns away from them to keep talking.
"It'd be, ah… really good. To see you. Too." God, what a dork.
Dean rolls her eyes with how absolutely not smooth her little brother is and then it's Lizzy's turn to swat her.
"Then that's it. I'm definitely coming now!"
"I'll text you where we're staying."
"And I'll keep you updated on what I find."
"Ok."
"I will be seeing you soon, Sam."
"You too… uh, and thanks. A lot."
"Anything to help out a couple of good urmaritor a raului."
The line goes dead and Sam pulls the phone away from his ear, smiling while looking down at it in his hand.
"So Rina's coming?" Lizzy asks, already knowing the answer.
"Yeah, she is," Sam answers while turning to face the other two again.
"Well that's very nice of her," Lizzy comments with a smile.
"Please," Dean says while pushing off of her car and walking towards Sam. "She just wants another ride on the Sammy train."
"Dean…" Sam rolls his eyes as his sister ruins the lovely moment for him just like always, the familiarity of it all comforting while annoying at the same time.
"Hey, you bang a chick good once and they'll always want more," Dean says with nonchalance as she pats her brother on the shoulder while walking past him to the front door of the library. "Being that good in bed… both a blessing and a curse, isn't it?"
"Cocky little bitch," Lizzy name calls as she links her arm in Sam's as they walk together, following Dean.
"No need to be mean," Dean says over her shoulder to Lizzy. "You should know after all."
"Oh yeah," Lizzy caustically returns. "I'm generally begging for it every day."
"See you joke," Dean turns and walks backwards while pointing at Lizzy. "But I know you." She winks before turning to Sam and speaking with confidence on high. "And she may talk a big game, Sammy, but she does beg for it. She begs for this dick all the time."
"And what dick would that be Dean?" Sam asks with a wide grin, referencing her current lack of important equipment. Lizzy hugs onto Sam's arm as she laughs loudly with the perfect diss.
Dean's face falls and she turns back around. "Shove it up your ass, Sam," Dean grumbles when she can't come up with a witty answer to Sam's quick put down.
"Shove it up my ass!?" Sam asks with wide eyes. "We're not still talking about your dick are we because that's… gross."
"And illegal!" Lizzy bellows her laughter at Sam easily besting Dean. Dean angrily huffs and pushes the front door open with way too much force, stomping into the building and disappearing.
"Aw, I think you made him mad," Lizzy smirks up to Sam, arms still linked.
Sam just shrugs as they walk in to go find the angry hunter.