A.N.- Sorry for the delay in updates. Next chapter will be posted much sooner, promise. And sorry for any mistakes in the chapter, I'm on pain meds and groggy. I'll fix it tomorrow.

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Fifty Words for Forgiveness

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Progression

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After the conversation you had with Quinn in the auditorium, you were giving each other space. It was to help her think about everything that she was working through, which you still had no clue about, but it also gave you a chance to think things over.

You had battled with the issue of being worthy of Quinn for so long, of feeling like you were anything compared to her, struggling to hide your shame and guilt and being her dirty secret, and constantly feeling like the corrupter, poisoning the fallen angel and pulling her into your depths of hell. She was, and will no doubt always be, a fallen angel in your eyes, so full of grace, but she's also just a girl.

Your mind needed to remember that. She was just a girl. Yes, she was the girl you had fallen in love with, the one you were not willing to leave behind, no matter the circumstances, but she was just a girl. She had flaws, many of which you were aware of, and she was not perfect. However, neither were you. You held yourself up to a higher esteem, Quinn's esteem, and that was foolish, because neither of you were going to match what it had become in your head.

This realisation, this thought, that actually the two of you were just two lost souls, fumbling in the dark and finding one another at the right moment, rather than good versus bad, light versus dark, virtue versus vice, angel versus demon, made everything clearer.

You were worthy of her love. You were. This notion that you couldn't be with her, you couldn't love her because she was better than you needed to stop immediately. That wasn't the case. You were a much stronger, braver, person than the foolish girl who believed Quinn's innocent persona meant she was above reproach.

And right now was no time for you to start doubting yourself when it came to her.

She was struggling. Anyone could see it a mile off. But, she kept to her secretive talks with Brittany, and she smiled at you in the hallways as if nothing was wrong, and you smiled back in the hope that would be the day she told you what was really going on. You doubted she ever would, but that was just Quinn, and really, you had to be thankful she was at least seeking help somewhere.

Thank God for Brittany.

Seeing the two of them at the end of the hallway on that Wednesday morning, you received your bright and cheery smile from Brittany, accompanied by a wave as she passed, and then a softer, more relaxed smile from Quinn, making your insides ignite in warmth and elation. She probably wasn't even aware your body still lit up around her, and as she moved out of sight, you bit back a sigh at how there was so much she didn't know when it came to your emotions towards her.

If only she did, then things might be easier.

Giving up on that line of thinking before it landed you in trouble, you continued on your way through the hallway to your locker. Once there, you did the routine book change, and casually eavesdropped on the conversations around you. This was the best time of the morning to catch up on gossip, and your fellow students were not letting you down.

It was through this grapevine you learnt of your peers growing interest in the friendship between Rachel and yourself, many convinced you two were dating, and Quinn apparently being pregnant again. Last you checked, you couldn't knock a girl up, so that was most definitely false. Though, it did make you wonder why they thought that. Nothing they were saying gave any indication, however, so you were going to have to find out another way.

Glancing round the hallway to see if Brittany had maybe came back, she was nowhere to be seen, but then your eyes met Rachel. Upon seeing her, you frowned. She looked like shit. She had bags under her eyes, she was yawning and she looked to be sleepwalking her way over. The pregnancy rumour would have to wait, you wanted to know what was up with your friend first.

"Why are you so tired?" you asked as soon as she stopped by your locker, forgoing the usual greetings.

"I'm being haunted," Rachel replied, shrugging one shoulder and raising her hand to hide her yawn. You groaned as you automatically started yawning too, and hope that stopped fast.

"You're what?" You'd heard what she'd said, and although you were used to weird things going on, this felt like too much.

"A ghost is haunting me. Okay, stop looking at me like I'm crazy. I'm not."

"Uh huh," you mumbled, closing your locker door and leaning back on it.

"Santana, I'm serious. I went to bed last night and after forty minutes I awoke to hear a meowing noise. I do not own a cat!" Rachel cried, the lack of sleep clearly having got to her.

"Did you look out your window?" you enquired, feeling like a fool for even considering for one second that there was a ghost of a cat haunting her.

"Of course I did! There was no cat to be seen. But as soon as I was up, the meowing stopped, and then when I lay back down, it started up again. Someone's poor dead pet doesn't want me to sleep!" Rachel looked dejected as her shoulders slumped, and if the bags under her eyes weren't so prominent, you would have laughed in her face.

"You're fucking crazy. It was probably your neighbour's cat or something."

"Not unless they were in my room, it was that loud!" Rachel argued, pouting afterwards, and you frowned at her explanation. You had a suspicion, but it was crazy.

"Did you search your room?"

"Why would a cat be in my room?" Rachel asked, looking at you like you were stupid. Pft, please. You weren't the one being stalked by a cat. Dead or alive.

"I don't know, but you should check." You were now certain she'd find one.

"I'm sticking with my theory."

"Of course you are," you muttered, knowing that you were going to have to talk to Brittany sooner rather than later if Rachel was convinced there was no cat in her room.

Lord Tubbington was such a creepy little bastard, and Rachel had no idea.

Leaving that conversation there, the two of you caught up on other things going on as heading to her locker, and agreed to meet at such before the bell rang. You went off to your classes and prepared for another monotonous day ahead, occasionally wondering about the blonde in the other rooms, and how much you missed her presence.

You were such a love sick fool, it was pathetic.

*0*0*

After lunching with Rachel, only to be ditched half way through because she just had to talk to Mr. Schue about regionals, you went back to your locker to prepare for your afternoon classes, with the idea that you could find Brittany before then.

You still wanted to ask her what was up with the pregnancy rumour running round about Quinn, and you also needed to find out if Lord T had done a disappearing act on her. However, as you moved towards the Cheerio locker room in your search to find her, she found you.

"San!" You turned round to see Brittany grinning happily at the end of the hallway, waving you over, and did just that. "Are you free tonight?" she asked as soon as you were in earshot without her yelling.

"Free as a bird," you replied, cherishing her enthusiasm over nothing. Things had been so heavy and difficult lately, it was hard to be happy about the small things.

"Great! Can you help me?" As if you could turn that down. However, you had to be careful. Last time you agreed to help Brittany with something without asking what it was first you found yourself searching the field behind her house for fairies and gnomes. That was not happening again.

"With what, B?" She smirked at your question and you just knew she was remembering you screaming your lungs out when you came across a snake rather than a gnome.

"Lord Tubbington."

"What's he done now?" You were pretty sure you knew, but it was best to check anyway.

"He's missing. I think he might be in trouble, he never goes this long without eating." Brittany showed genuine concern and frowned, unhappy with this thought, and you immediately wanted to put her mind at ease.

"I…I think I might know where he is." You had been hoping it wasn't the case, but apparently the little shit had decided to stalk Rachel.

"You do? How?" She looked hopeful at your words.

"Just something Rachel said," you mused, frowning at the absurdity of it all. "So yeah, we can go pick him up after school."

"Awesome, I knew you were the right person to come to."

"So…how come you don't know where he is? I thought you just knew everything?" You felt like an asshole but you were curious. She had confessed to just knowing things, and now there seemed to be boundaries to what she knew so it was only fair you enquired as to how that worked.

Regardless, Brittany didn't seem offended by your question and shrugged her shoulder, showing how unsure she was.

"I don't really know," she began. "Lord Tubbington is different, and I can't tell what he gets up to. I secretly think he's a human stuck inside a cat's body, as punishment for something, but don't let him know. I don't want him getting annoyed with me." You smiled, accepting her answer and not wanting to push your luck by pestering her with questions.

"Your secret is safe with me."

"Thanks!" Reaching out, she hugged you quickly and then turned to leave, giving you a wave on her way, to which you suddenly remembered why you had been searching for her.

"Britt, you don't happen to know why people think Q is pregnant again, do you?" The shocked look on her face made you think this was a surprise to her as much as you, for which you were glad. At least that wasn't the reason Quinn was spending so much time with her, working through things.

"She's not," Brittany said immediately. "Don't think she's done anything because-"

"I wasn't…I hadn't thought that." Yet.

You probably would have jumped to that conclusion at some point, knowing you, but at least you now had the reassurance that it wasn't true.

"Good," Brittany replied, smiling at you as though she was proud. You were sure you'd read that emotion wrong, because there was nothing to be proud of. Not in your eyes anyway. "I can't think of any reason why people would think that, San, but don't worry about it, okay?"

"I won't…I just wanted to know why but it doesn't matter."

"She'd never do that to you," Brittany added, giving you a sad half smile, and you nodded in return.

You didn't think she would, but it wasn't every day that a rumour like that spread round the school. Most of the time people had some kind of proof before spewing out bullshit, so this was just completely leftfield.

Waving Britt goodbye, you pushed those thoughts out your head and went in search of the girl herself. You weren't going to ask her about it. No way. You only wanted to see her. Yes, you had seen her that morning, but you were addicted to this girl. It wasn't your fault, it was hers and her mesmerising hazel eyes that sucked you in and stole your heart. Absolutely not your fault; there's no defence against that.

Quinn was much easier to find than Brittany had been, and you found her in the Library. This place seemed to be some home away from home for her, and while you didn't want to intrude when you saw her nose buried in a book, she had no qualms nodding you over. That made you smile and a flicker of hope swell in your chest.

"What are you up to tonight?" you asked, ignoring the pleasantries once again. Fifty Words may have turned you into a better person but it had thrown your manners out of the window.

"Nothing, why?" Quinn replied, tucking a bookmark in her page and place the book to the side, giving you her full attention. You admired the way her eyes flickered over your face, and her mask disappeared. Now the two of you could talk.

"We're going on a hunt for Lord Tubbington. He's made another famous escape. You want to come?" She looked a little unsure, and you knew exactly why.

Quinn would surely remember Lord T's last famous escape which you both had been dragged in to help; his ingenious idea to climb out Brittany's window and get stuck on the garage room, unable to jump down. He was there three days before being found, and then it required the three of you to thieve the neighbours ladder, climb up and get him. All of you were left with lasting war wounds. That was so not happening again or you were going to skin the bugger alive.

"We?" Q asked, biting her lip and cocking her head to the side.

"Brittany and I, but we're probably going to Rachel's house as I'm pretty certain he's living in her bedroom somewhere."

"That's…weird." She frowned, but a smile crept up her lips as she did so, and you found yourself smiling back.

"Yeah, he's a freaky little bastard," you agreed, shrugging one shoulder. You had long stopped trying to work out Lord T's motives in life. "So do you want to come?"

The clincher in this situation was Rachel's involvement. While you knew Rachel wouldn't have any issue with Quinn coming as they were trying to patch things up, Q was different. She had purposely gone out of her way to avoid seeing you around her, and you wondered if that action was still standing.

"Sure, I'd like that," she replied, nodding softly, and your chest swelled with relief and elation.

"Me too." Quinn chuckled at your response and picked up her book, trying to ignore how you were now biting your lip to hide your smile, and failing miserably at doing so.

She shoed you away with her hand and you went willingly, thankful for the time you did have with her there, and with a slight spring in your step. Every interaction with her lately just felt like things were going in the right direction. Finally.

*0*0*

That evening, after school, the four of you made your way over to Rachel's to sort out the mess with Lord Tubbington. It was ridiculous, but it somehow turned into a strange bonding trip. Initially, you were worried about Quinn and Rachel getting on, but there didn't seem to be any problems at all. The two of them were talking like nothing was wrong, and it eased some of your worries.

Then you realised you were actually going to be spending time at Rachel's, which hadn't happened much since becoming friends with her, and while normally you wouldn't care, you had found out her fathers were going to be home.

That was just the worst news ever, and the nerves and dread you experienced on the drive over didn't help at all. Of course, nothing had prepared you properly for actually spending time with the Berry men. Both were lovely, and pretty hilarious, but you could see they didn't trust you one bit, you or Quinn from the looks of it, but yet adored Brittany. Who didn't love Brittany?

Rachel took pity on you, thankfully, and fobbed an excuse to get everyone upstairs, leaving her fathers to their own devices. You did not miss the thank you Quinn muttered to her on the way upstairs, and did the same when you passed her, to which she chuckled and shook her head.

"One of these days, I will get my fathers to like you."

"Not going to happen," you replied, knowing a lost cause when you saw one.

"I'll die trying."

"You do that." It would probably be easier that way.

When the four of you entered Rachel's bedroom, Brittany bounced onto the bed like she owned the place, and Quinn stood anxiously by the wall, unsure. You reached out, taking her hand in yours and gave it a squeeze, dragging her over to the bed and pushing Britt over. Quinn looked even more unsure, but she followed your lead and took a seat, both your legs dangling off the end of the bed and brushing against each other.

Rachel went to her wardrobe, and had a hunt through it, all the while talking to Brittany about the absurdity of this entire situation. Only after a thorough search did she stop and drop herself dejectedly into her desk chair.

"I told you, Santana, I'm being haunted by a dead cat," she said, shaking her head pitifully.

Quinn, having only heard the cliff notes of this in the car over, frowned in confusion and looked to you for an explanation. It so wasn't worth it, so you waved your hand and brushed it off. She was saner not knowing.

"No you're not. The little bastard is in this room somewhere, you just have to find him."

"Brittany, do you really think Lord Tubbington is here?" Rachel asked, ignoring you completely.

"I don't know, but he does like you and he does get addicted to things easily," she replied, shrugging her shoulder.

That was enough to have you raising your arm as if to say 'I told you so!' Rachel did not look amused and began nattering on about how there weren't many places for him to hide. Quinn was happy enough to fill her in on how much of a ninja Lord T could be when he wanted to be, meaning you didn't have to. Squeezing her hand in thanks, you smiled her way and were happy to see her smiling back.

Knowing it was best to get up and help, you refrained from affectionately kissing Q's hand before letting it go, because really, that would be too much for 'friends' to do, and slipped off the bed. Rachel put on some music and designated areas for Brittany and you to search. She clearly could tell Q was uncomfortable so asked her to watch over everything, in case he snuck out while they weren't looking. It was sweet of her, and you filed away thanking her for her inclusion of Quinn later on.

"Found him!" Brittany cried about thirty minutes later, reaching for him and practically dragging his fat ass out from under the bed. You frowned because you had searched there and he was nowhere to be seen. Ninja. Creepy ass ninja cat.

"Okay, I think I would have preferred it being a ghost," Rachel whispered to you, all eyes on Lord Tubbington who was staring right at Rachel. Brittany was oblivious to his diverted attention as she cooed in his coat and kissed his head.

"It probably would have been safer it was a ghost. You're going to have to keep your windows shut and your doors closed to keep him out."

"Should I be scared?" she asked, continuing in a hushed voice.

"I would be," you admitted, relieved you were not in her place. The last thing you needed was a deaf cat stalking your ass. There was enough going on already.

"Maybe I could get a dog," she mused.

"Doubt that would word. Lord T is a ninja."

"I need to talk to Brittany." You laughed and revelled in the frown marring her features, enjoying the absurdity of it all, before turning to check on Q.

She was smiling at you, mask nowhere to be seen, and not the least bit on edge from the conversation she'd witnessed between Rachel and yourself. You could only take that to mean she wasn't jealous or doubting your affections for her. Another moment of good news for you, then.

With Lord T found safe and well, and given all of you were there, Rachel extended the offer of dinner, and only after you found out you wouldn't be eating with her fathers, did you agree to stay. Brittany said yes immediately, with Quinn agreeing shortly after. It seemed she wasn't as confident of having dinner with Rachel alone on Rachel's turf. Though, you couldn't blame her.

After dinner, and as there was plenty of time before curfew for all of you, Brittany suggested a movie, and that's how you found yourself in Rachel's basement watching another Disney film surrounded by them, and Lord T, of course. It felt oddly strange, but you weren't going to complain. You had wanted everyone to be friends, and it certainly seemed like that was happening.

When it came time to leave, you tried to ignore the happy smiles on the Berry men's faces as you grabbed your things and made to say goodbye. Okay, so they didn't' like you, didn't mean they had to be pleased to see you go. Though, you couldn't blame them. Up until several months ago, you were constantly belittling Rachel at every chance you got. So yes, you could understand their hesitance when it came to you. At least Quinn was enduring the same treatment, however.

Brittany received permission to stay at Rachel's, which you were sure had something to do with Lord Tubbington's creepy attachment to the girl, but you didn't question it. The Berry men certainly weren't going to protest her staying on a school night, but you knew you never would have been allowed. Sucks to be hated by your best friend's parents, that's for sure.

After hugging both Rachel and Brittany goodnight, and giving Lord T a wide birth, you led Q to your car. You were going to drop her off home, and Brittany was going to pick her up for school in the morning as her car had been left there.

Being alone and in a confined space with her had gone from making you indifferent, to turned on, to terrified, to now anxiously excited. The girl had far too much control over your emotions, and you could only be thankful that she didn't take advantage of that fact.

The ride to her house was spent in mostly silence, with the odd comment now and then on homework and Cheerios, and it felt awkward. This wasn't exactly the emotion you were going for, but there was nothing you could do. Q's mask was up and rooted in place, and you knew better than to try and take it off her. That defence mechanism was the only thing holding her together.

Pulling up in her driveway, you turned off the car so she didn't get the impression you were rushing her out the vehicle, and you eyed the house. The porch light had been left on and you could see through the living room blinds that the lights in there were on. Her parents were probably waiting up for her.

However, despite knowing she was cutting it close to her curfew on a school night, Quinn remained in the car. You shot her a confused look, wondering why the silence was dragging on, and she rolled her eyes; you could only assume it was at her own ridiculousness.

"Thanks for tonight," she said quietly, biting her lip as she glanced out the window before back at you. You went to say no problem and brush it off, because really, it wasn't an issue and you enjoyed having her, but then she stole the words right out of your mouth.

Unbuckling her seatbelt and turning in her seat, Quinn glanced at the house quickly, then back at you. She placed one had on the console and moved forward, the other coming up to cup your cheek in her hand, turning your head slightly as she did so. Her lips brushed the side of your mouth, too close for a 'friendly' kiss, but not close enough to push boundaries. You remained frozen in your seat, fighting the whimpering at the simple kiss, soft, fleeting, but very much there as she moved back.

"Night, Santana," Quinn murmured, nodding once and then booking it for the door.

"Night, Q," you replied, internally screaming at the progression that had just taken place.

She had just kissed you on the cheek in your car, which was parked in her driveway, outside her house. That was huge!

Watching her run inside and shut the door behind her, you let out a shaky breath and smiled.

Whatever she was working through, it seemed to be helping, and god almighty, it gave you hope that things might actually work out.

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