Knee bouncing a mile a minute with nervous energy, Sam stares off at the wall on the other side of the room while sitting at the motel table. He's nervous and antsy and really all he wants is to take back the last fifteen minute of his life. He wants a redo.

Rina shouldn't have to know all this about him. She's a trusting person. He worries that this will now ruin her trusting nature and make her a different person. That's the last thing he could deal with happening. Rina is great the way she is. She's beautiful and kind and understanding and seriously trusting. Changing her? He can't be responsible for that. He'd never forgive himself for it.

The toilet flushing and bathroom door opening pulls Sam from his own mind. He looks over to his brother as he walks back into the main room, a smile on his face.

"You know, I think I've really taken for granted the ability to take a piss while standing," Dean jests while being honest as he grabs a couple beers from the small cooler sitting in their room.

"Yeah," Sam answers, not really hearing Dean at all.

"You ok?" Dean asks, brow wrinkled in worry when he takes a good look at Sam and his body language. He's slumped over in his chair and looks miserable.

Sam just looks at his brother in shocked disgust as Dean sits across from him at the table.

"It's gonna be fine, Sam," Dean reminds him.

"Just like that?" Sam asks him angrily. "You say it'll work out and boom, it all just works out?"

"Yeah," Dean answers quickly with a smile as he slides a beer to Sam.

"And what makes you so sure?" Sam pries. "I did the most fucked up shit…"

"And you did it with a good heart," Dean cuts in before taking a huge sip of beer. "Mm, breakfast."

"You're unbelievable," Sam complains as he takes a sip of beer to maybe calm his nerves. His brother is brushing everything off way too easily. Figures. He's in a good mood because everything worked out for himself. He could give a shit about Sam's issues apparently.

"Why's that?" Dean asks with a challenging look.

"Rina's gonna hate me… for good… when she knows what I did."

"No way."

"How can you say that?" Sam loudly questions. "I ended the fucking world!"

"We did, first of all," Dean reminds his brother. "Second of all, did you forget who's talking to her right now? Lizzy is awesome. I guarantee that she'll talk to Rina and spin this perfectly."

"I don't want her to have to spin anything…"

"Ok, so spin was the wrong word. But you know L. She'll tell the truth but she'll do it in a way that will make everything ok. She's gotten herself of out of every kind of situation you can think of just by talking. Plus, Lizzy has seen you at your very worst dude."

"No shit," Sam grumbles, recalling the pity in her eyes when she'd check on him in the panic room during detox. He's still shocked that alone didn't kill him for good.

"And did she ditch you?" Dean asks Sam with a challenge. He knows that Lizzy got past everything and that's not a lie. She's shockingly forgiving. Maybe she just has the ability to see past the bullshit and recognize the true person behind it. That must be it if she's still married to him, Dean thinks.

Sam considers it for a moment. Dean has a good point.

"I'm telling you, Sammy. Stop worrying so much. After Lizzy gets done with her Rina'll come back here and be just fine."

His worry lessening only a little, Sam sighs. "I hope you're right."

"I'm always right," Dean says with obviousness and holds out his bottle. They cheers and take a sip each.

"So…" Sam starts as Dean looks over to him. "You miss your tits yet?"

"Fuck you…"

"He'd been manipulated that whole time?" Rina asks with utter defeat. The picture Lizzy has painted for her has been one of such heartache, unfortunately placed poor luck, and complete deceit that she's having a really hard time knowing what to believe and how to feel. It's just so much.

"Yeah," Lizzy nods sadly, the rehashing of everything they've been through making her a bit down. She takes a sip of her coffee while sitting in the booth at the diner across from Rina to give herself a mere second of reprieve. "Ruby was one hell of a controlling, evil bitch. She fucked with Sam in ways that I can't even imagine or begin to try and do justice in words. And granted, he shouldn't have gone with it, he should have known better, but his whole life he's been deceived. He knows nothing else. Sam's own father kept the truth from him and died without letting him know what had happened to him as an infant. John knew that Azazel had fucked with his son and never let him know about it."

"I don't understand that," Rina denies, her hand wrapped tightly around her mug as she stares at the dark liquid in it.

"Neither do I," Lizzy concurs. "If I were lucky enough to have a great guy like Sam as my kid I would never be able to lie to him like that. I mean, I know John was just doing what he thought he had to to protect him, but it was the wrong choice. Fortunately he's had Dean. Dean has never and will never lie to his little brother when it counts. Right now, after everything, that's the only person Sam has to hold on to."

"And you."

"Well, yeah," Lizzy nods with a little spark of pride. "And me."

"Wow. His whole life has been such a sad story," Rina suddenly says, her own pain she experiences from all she's discovering about the man she now realizes she knew practically nothing about. "And yet he's still a good person at heart. He should be jaded and angry…"

"Oh, he's angry," Lizzy interrupts, keeping her vow to be completely honest with Rina. "He's very angry. In fact, that level of bottled anger really worries me on a daily basis."

"I've never seen that in him."

"That's because he's never angry around you," Lizzy points out. "I've noticed that Sam has really been able to take it down to a good place when you're around. Your presence has a very calming and safe effect on Sam. He holds it together better."

The smile that tugs at the corners of her lips for just a flash of a second gives her away immediately. Rina still cares. She likes that she can help him still. Lizzy keeps going after having seen it.

"Everything I've told you is huge and heavy, I get that. I mean, Lucifer and Michael, angels, demon blood…. shit," she explains with a grimace, the conversation depressing her a bit. "Even I take a step back sometimes to look at everything and the weight of it just seems… impossible. The whole story of our lives right now seems exactly that. Just utterly impossible. We wake up every day and wonder if it's our last, if the Apocalypse is coming that day. How anyone makes it out of this shit alive is beyond me and that's what we live with, what Sam lives with every second of his life." God damn, when did life get this completely fucked and horrible? "I assume you've always known that true evil is real, right?"

"Of course," Rina answers. Her family has never lied or hidden their belief in all that is bad and wrong and dark in the world.

"Well, it's realer than real to us now. Sam, Dean and I have seen it all. We know firsthand what it can do to a person. I wish all these things had never happened. I wish demons never found those two and that they could just live as the normal, happy, and good people that they are buried under years of hard living and ruthlessly awful experiences. I'd give anything, anything for Sam to be able to be darkness-free and without this malicious thing hanging around his neck at all times." Lizzy lowers her gaze and sighs. "And I mean that. He's been given such a hard path… even harder than Dean. It's so God damned unfair…." Sighing again, she bites her cheek to keep the sorrow away. When she thinks about it all a little too much it always chokes her up, makes her so sympathetic and remorseful for what Sam especially has to deal with and has had to deal with in life. "I love that man very much, no matter what. Sam has totally affected me from the day I met him. He was quiet and very weary at first but at the same time he was warm and smart and caring and just so… exceptional. Through this all, the betrayal and the total loss of trust, I'd still put my life in his hands. He earned back every ounce of my faith in him. He's still Sam."

"But what he did is beyond anything ever done before," Rina has to counterpoint. "He ended the world."

"No," Lizzy refuses, still unable to accept that the world will end because of Sam and Dean's mistakes. "It won't end. Sam will make sure of that."

"How could he possibly fix this?" she questions in return with disbelief. "Lucifer is the root of all evil. He is the worst of the worst there is. The Apocalypse is supposed to destroy our planet."

"And Sam will do anything to stop it," Lizzy explains further. "His guilt, his anger, his entire being won't allow him to sit by and let this happen. I know Sam, sometimes better than he himself does. He will give his life for this cause if only to save just one of the people he's put at risk. He's a good person. A really, exceedingly good person. Please, Rina, you know what I'm telling you is true."

Nodding absentmindedly, she sits quietly and lets it all sink in further.

"He cares about you. He really does. I mean, I watched the guy try to dial your number about ten times since we last saw you and he chickened out every time. He was worried you'd be upset because he left so soon after… um, you guys… spent time together." Lizzy smiles small through her stuttering as she tries to prove Sam's goodness. "Your opinion means the world to him. I know for a fact that right now he's sitting in that motel room freaking out, terrified that you'll be scared of him or hate him. We'll all understand either way what you chose to do. If you want to pack up and jet, leaving us in the dust for good, no one would be surprised. But I hope for Sam's sake you'll stay. It's a lot to take and you've already helped him out enough but if there's ever been a time when a solid dude who's dedicated his life to helping others has needed a little extra support, it'd be now."

Lizzy holds her hand out palm up on the table for Rina to take. Reluctantly, the woman follows along and grabs on, closing her eyes and feeling Lizzy out.

"Go ahead and tell me if I'm lying about any of this." Lizzy smiles and waits.

"You're not lying," Rina agrees as they both hear the front door of the diner jingle as it's opened. "I didn't think you were, anyways. You don't seem the type."

"That's a joke right? I lie for a living!" Lizzy laughs right back at Rina's comment.

"But you never lie when you talk about Sam or Dean. You never lie about your family."

Lizzy smirks and thinks about it. It's true. "Never would either."

"Hey," Dean says to the two of them, dropping into the booth next to Lizzy as she scoots over for him. "How we doing over here?"

"Ask the unfortunate-to-know-us woman over there," Lizzy jests and nods to Rina.

"Rina, I'm sorry that you had to…" Dean starts but Rina holds up her hand to stop him.

"Save it, Dean," she says to him with an unreadable tone. She stands up from her booth with a renewed urgency. "Is Sam back at the motel?"

"Far as I know," he tells her with a wrinkled brow and some confusion.

She holds eye contact with Lizzy for a moment before walking out the front door without another word.

"Yeah, I so don't know how to read that," Dean reacts as he points out the door at Rina.

"You're guess is as good as mine," Lizzy gripes as she stares into her coffee cup. "You talk to Cass?"

"He's not answering his cell yet. Still busy."

"Yeah, well, he has a shit ton of explaining to do and I'm sure he'll be avoiding us like the plague until he has a plausible excuse to give us," Lizzy says with a little annoyance.

"You're probably right," Dean nods, knowing the angel as well as he does. "I did let Bobby know that everything is good though."

"Oh, good," Lizzy says, glad he remembered to let their father figure know. She then sighs heavily. "Letting Rina know everything… that was rough."

"Surprised you volunteered for the job." He certainly wouldn't want to have that conversation with Rina. She was good to do it.

"Really?" she questions with surprise.

"No, not at all," Dean huffs a very small laugh. "Of course you volunteered. You'll defend our dumb asses until the end."

"I'm just that stupid." Lizzy smiles small, her focus still downward. "Well, at least I can say I gave it my all."

"I'm sure you did," Dean answers, bringing an arm around her shoulders.

"I just hope it worked," she grips harder to her mug in her hands. "He doesn't need this shit on top of everything else."

"You love Sammy too. And you're good at speaking from the heart."

"And that I did."

"So I'm sure it worked, or at the least lessened the blow for her."

She looks over to Dean with sorrowful eyes. "I just hate that people get this wrong picture of who Sam is. They make these assumptions about what happened without ever looking for the truth. He doesn't deserve that."

"No he doesn't," Dean completely agrees.

"How many people has he saved in his life?" Lizzy asks rhetorically while her anger grows. "Hundreds? Thousands?"

"Definitely quadruple digits," Dean nods while picking up her cup and taking a sip, a disgusted face following soon after with the Splenda she uses instead of sugar.

"I remember when Winchester used to be synonymous with excellence and a force to be reckoned with. How quickly hunters let themselves forget once a rumor circulates. How about some gratitude in the form of not being judgmental for five seconds and not assuming the worst out of solid, trustworthy, proven people?"

"You know that's never going to happen."

"I know."

Lizzy leans her head on his shoulder, sapping all comfort she can from him. She gets so depressed while thinking about these things.

"On the bright side," Dean tries to turn everything around as he pulls the diner menu across the table, reading the breakfast specials immediately. "I'm back to my normal, handsome as ever self."

"Thank God!"

"Knew you were lying all along," he says quietly and in a sing-song tone while picking a meal.

"I told you I would have been a lesbo my whole life if you stayed a chick though," she rebuts, reminding him of her promise. The waitress choses a terrible time to come take their orders as she heard the last comment Lizzy made. She pauses with what she hears and looks at Dean curiously.

"Doctor Montellbon is an excellent plastic surgeon," he explains in jest while gesturing to his whole body. "I'll have the Sunrise Sampler and a coffee."

"And you?" the woman asks while looking at Lizzy while she raises her head off of Dean's shoulder.

"Nothing, I'm fine. Thank you," she smiles small.

"You gotta eat," Dean says to her, hating when she lets her emotions ruin her appetite.

"Not hungry."

"She'll have some wheat toast and fruit." Dean hands the menu after ordering for her. The waitress smiles and leaves.

"Thanks, Dad," Lizzy rolls her eyes with his insistence.

"You know I hate when you call me that," he complains right back. He really does. So what if he's looking out for her… she's his wife. That's his job.

"Why, because it reminds you of how old you are?" she bites back her glee.

"I'm not old, L." He hates when she calls him old. So fucking annoying. He wasn't that much older than her anyways…. "Thirty ain't old."

"Oh, you just don't like the label then?" Lizzy question while her attitude lightens with their interaction. Dean could fix everything for her just by sitting with her and talking. Her mood is already brightening up. "Funny, some guys like being called Daddy."

"No, you called me Dad condescendingly," he explains himself. "Calling me Daddy in the right way would be a whole other story."

"Oh," Lizzy turns to face him with a hand on his thigh. "You mean like…" She leans into him and whispers in his ear in a younger, breathy, sexy voice that nearly pleads for him, "Daddy."

"Should I be cancelling this order?" Dean asks her immediately, his growling stomach the only part of him protesting this course of action. Fuck, who knew that'd be such a turn on.

"No," Lizzy smiles while patting him gently on the cheek before running her fingers over the stubble on his jaw. She missed that feeling so much. "Our room is next to Sam's. Don't think we'd provide very good background noise to that disaster over there right now."

"You think that's gonna go well?"

"The way she left… pretty hard to tell."

Dean sighs quietly with the thought. He hopes Rina is coming around and isn't making Sam feel worse than he already does. This was one thing big brother couldn't fix and he hated it.

He's still going crazy waiting. Sam knows she's still around, her little VW bug is still in its parking space, but he just doesn't know where she is. And he certainly doesn't know what's going on. First Lizzy left to go after Rina, now Dean's left, yet no one has returned. He's alone in a quiet room save for the sound of the television. Cycling through the channels for the seventh time in total distraction, he wonders how long he can stand this before leaving and looking for Rina himself.

And then he hears the same, quiet knock on the door he heard just last night. And once more his heart jumps just like it did the night before when he heard it. Shit. It's Rina.

Getting up quickly, he takes three large steps to the door and immediately yanks the door open to find her standing there waiting for him as she continues to wring her hands with nerves.

"Rina, I'm so sorry…" Sam blurts out but she extends up a finger to stop him. He quiets instantly and waits. She holds out her hand palm up and looks at him with expectation.

Worried as the last time she took his hand and read him up and down just a half hour ago went so beautifully, Sam still obliges her without second thought. He'd do whatever he can to get her back on his side, to see him not as a monster but as the person she trusted when they'd met.

Holding tight to him, Rina closes her eyes. That same evil and fear and darkness floods her senses but this time she doesn't retreat. She fights past it. She digs deeper and works through the ever-powerful fright and malicious feelings to find what else is there. It takes a moment but she gets to it. Under the external and threatening issues at hand is that same person she remembers. Warm, kind, humble, and all around virtuous feelings wash over her and wipe away the negative with its sheer strength alone. Lizzy was completely right. He's still there, just worn and beaten and in need of some serious affection and love. He's been deprived and destroyed by his experiences… yet he's maintained who he really is deep down.

Opening her lids, she stares up at him with sympathetic eyes and runs her free hand down his shoulder and upper arm, never once letting his hand go.

"I'm sorry I ran."

The small, heavily grateful smile that takes over his expression, smoothing the worry-lines away, proves how happy he is to hear her say that.

"I understand why you did," Sam admits, letting her know it's ok. "I'm just glad you came back."

"Lizzy is persuasive."

"And am I ever thankful for that."

Rina steps forward into the room and into him, wrapping her arms around his middle and hugging him close. She could sense how much he's longing for that. He hasn't had many people tell him it's ok lately. It's Dean's job to do that and Lizzy will always give him that happily, but he needs more.

Sam returns the embrace, so glad to have it.

"I think that if you can still have someone so levelheaded and smart as her still be on your side then you couldn't have become that bad. You still must be you."

He sighs as the invisible and crushing weight on his shoulders lessens. He holds her in a little tighter and realizes just how badly he owes Lizzy now.

"I'm still scared though," Rina admits as she looks up to him without backing away. "What you're involved in is so big. Big isn't even a good enough word. Maybe… enormous."

"It scares me too," Sam shares with her in a rare moment of true honesty.

"I admire the fact that no matter what you're still fighting," she tells him. "Most would not be strong enough to handle this. They wouldn't even try with the severity of it."

"I can't give up. I have to make up for what've done. And it's not how I was raised." Sam gives her a quick, lopsided smile with the thought. Dean would never let him give in. He wouldn't. He'll stand by Sam side through every minute of this and he'll hold him up when he falters, but surrender is not an option. Sam wouldn't want it any other way anyhow.

"That's noble. And it's something only an honest and good man would say." She reaches a hand up to run her fingertips down the side of his face. "Never lose sight of who you really are ever again."

"You gonna help remind me now and then?" Sam asks lightly with a soft, worried smile.

Rina grins back. "If that's what it takes."

"Shit," Sam sighs when it's more than obvious that she hasn't lost faith in him. "I'm so glad you didn't leave."

Pulling him down by the hand at the side of his head, Rina kisses him for the first time since she's arrived. She proceeds carefully, remembering how much work it took to get Sam into the frame of mind to be open and physical with her the first time. Granted once he was there he really let himself off the leash but it took a little coaxing. Right now she knows he needs to feel loved. Quite frankly, she isn't sure that that isn't what she's feeling for him in the moment. She hasn't felt this way for a man since… well, it's been a long time.

"Me too," she returns, her forehead pressed to his and her eyes closed. She really is happy she's still there. She would always regret leaving if she had done so, even if it was her first instinct after learning some of the truth behind Sam.

Backing away from him slowly, Rina closes the still open front door, not at all trying to hide the loud clink of the deadbolt locking in place, before turning back to face him. Her expression is much softer than before as she peers into him with a curious mix of sadness and impression. She walks to him and takes his hand, leading him to stand at the end of his usual bed farthest from the door. Her back to the foot of the mattress, Sam facing her, she snakes her arms slowly upward and around his neck. Pulling him down to her once more, she kisses him again.

It's earnest and filled with truth and adoration. Very rarely does Sam get to experience this. Jess felt a lot like this and Ruby had the admiration part in her deceitful embraces as she was in fact in awe of him. Lou always kissed him just like this, though. He always felt like he suddenly became the center of her universe when she would boldly walk right up to him and plant her lips on his, or when she would always make the first move on him. It felt good to be so valued, so highly looked upon, instead of be that guy who fucked the world right up its ass. He needs this reminder that he's come back from the darkness, back to where he should be and away from the shit that lives in him and pumps through his veins.

Making no bones about what she's attempting, Rina pulls him with her as she sits back on the bed and begins moving slowly up the mattress. Sam crawls over her, following right along without ever letting his lips leave hers. It felt too good to let them part.

Hands cupping his jaw, Rina lies back as Sam hovers over her. She ends their kiss for just a moment, brushing his long hair away to make sure she can see his eyes. "I'm not afraid of you," Rina makes sure he understands clearly. "And I'm not disappointed either."

"I'm starting to see that," Sam smiles. Rina grins right back as she wraps her arms around him, pulling him closer and kissing him again.

"I missed you, Sam," she quickly tells him between heated kisses and her hands start roaming. Sam thinks his heart might stop with how fucking lucky he got on this one.

"Missed you too," he tells her, his lips landing on her neck as she lets out the soft, warm moan of appreciation he remembers clearly. He really, really missed her too.