Beginning Again arc VI

Coruscant II - Fire

Yourself.

He had said that very word to Rex's question of what he had to offer the commander.

To Chopper's thinking Captain Rex had all the best of the Fett genes. He was battle-brilliant in tactics, had fast reflexes, and listened with discernment. He knew his men, the enemy, the territory. There wasn't anything Captain Rex couldn't handle unless a Jedi was needed as well.

Chopper sighed as he thought over his qualities; what he, himself, had to give to Senator Chuchi.

"I'm a good trooper," he muttered under his breath as he stood at her door. But not good enough to avoid scars. He wondered if that was Slick's voice then decided not. He thought about mentioning the droid research, but discarded it. Any trooper who spent the time and looked could figure that out. He remembered something. "I saved the commander's life. Fives said not everyone would think of what I did."

That made him feel better.

"I can play the harmonica." He glanced down at the instrument in his hand. "Not every trooper can do that either." Honesty compelled him to add, "I'm self-taught mostly, after some basic instruction."

He took a deep breath and brought his hand up to the tone bell. That feeling rushed over him again; his heart pounded like he was in battle and his breathing got adrenaline faster. He took a step back. "Fierfek," he muttered to himself. "I need a run."

It would be his third that morning. He took a step back but didn't turn this time. "I do not need another kriffing run," he muttered fiercely, trying to convince himself.

He stood at her door and stared.

She won't like your scars, Chopper, old boy. That was Slick.

"About time you showed up." Chopper told the voice in his head as he stood at Senator Riyo Chuchi's door.

She won't like your scars. Slick's sneering voice echoed in his head. Three quarter man, she won't like your scars. Zabrak face.

Chopper swallowed, remembering what he'd said to himself the last time, just two nights ago when he'd looked into the mirror and saw, not scars, but strength. "Maybe she'll like me". He whispered. Chopper stepped up to the door and before he could think too much about going for another run, his hand waved over the tone. "She does like me, Slick, I know that."

Does she like you enough, Chopper, old boy? Then Slick was quiet, hid in the confines of Chopper's mind. Waiting.

There was no answer to either the door or Slick's question and Choppere thought about that for a moment before hesitantly touching the tone with his hand again.

The door opened, slowly and quietly, and his lady was there peering through the small opening of the door. Except, her expression was all wrong; her hair was mussed, she was frowning and her eyes were mostly stern. The edge of an elegant dress pooled silkenly around her feet.

Chopper's heart sank. He took a step back. "I'm sorry, Senator Chuchi. I should have known you couldn't mean it."

Slick was laughing, hard; his amusement ringing in Chopper's ears.

Chopper turned and was swiftly retreating down the corridor. He barely heard her mumbled words over Slick's laughter.

Until she shouted them.

"Chopper, what…time is it?"

It was an odd question and he stopped dead in the corridor but didn't turn around. "Zero six hundred hours, Senator." He replied respectfully and there was silence in the corridor.

"If you wake me this early, I think you should offer to fix breakfast." Her voice was softer now, part confusion but mostly warmth.

"I don't know how to cook civilian food." Slowly he turned around, a dim thought running through his mind that maybe he'd been off-shift and night-shift for too long. Chopper reached the door. She was no longer peering through, but she'd left it open. It took a few moments for him to really believe she'd left it open for him.

Cautiously he entered and saw her on a sofa, very similar to the one in the apartments he was sharing with the others. Standard issue for the Senate Apartments, he decided, and not necessarily indicative of her preferenes. She was wrapping a blanket around her, her knees pulled up and only her toes exposed until she flicked the edge of the blanket over them. Her eyes smiled at him until swallowed by a yawn.

Chopper saw a shoe on the floor; its match lay on the chair. He picked them up and set them side-by-side under the chair. Like the commander, Senator Chuchi had small and dainty feet. An embroidered scarf was barely draped over a chair arm, most of its length on the floor. He bent, picked up the delicate material in his hands and carefully folded it before setting it on a table.

Slowly he made his way to the sofa and stood, at parade rest, in front of her, looking down at her. His jaw ground with question and hesitation. Could he ask to sit next to her?

"I'm glad to see you, Chopper, my love." She smiled up at him with a languid expression.

He closed his eyes in relief, in the same shocked surprised he'd felt the first time she said that. My love.

He cautiously sat next to her. "My lady…" He didn't know what to say but by her smile, it didn't matter. He smiled back.

Riyo shook her head, her eyes half-lidded and drowsy as she leaned softly into his side. "Just sit here. Next to me. Breakfast can…" She gave a wave of her fingers toward the kitchen.

Chopper wondered if it was a dream, sitting with her warm body curled into his side, his arm protectively around her.

Riyo woke in her bed wondering if it had been real then sighed softly. It had been a nice dream of Chopper. He'd been there; his presence warm and strong. If she shut her eyes, she could almost smell him; masculine and earthy, could almost feel his arms around her and hear the rumbling purr of his voice as he spoke quietly into her ear.

Riyo's sadness brought tears to her eyes. She didn't think she'd see him again. He was a trooper, a warrior at war. She kept track of the GAR rolls, especially the 501st, searching for his name and his number, hoping to never find the evidence he was gone, but the odds were good that she'd see it there one day.

She would mourn that day; mourn him as a husband, mourn something that would never be – laughter and disagreements, love and children. As a child she had heard stories about two people finding perfect love in a glance; finding perfection in their combined Foundations. Riyo hadn't been an innocent child, to believe in such obvious wishes. She brushed her tears away with her fingers. She had never expected to witness such an event; certainly had never expected to happen to her. Yet it had. Chopper had given her himself, had given her his Foundation with his words of love. If I had anything, it would be yours. Everything he was; his wisdom, his strength, his love, he had set at her feet. Riyo had given him her love at that moment.

Pushing aside the sofa blanket, Riya sat, sighing deeply. It was odd that she made it to her bedroom. Usually on late nights, she fell asleep on the sofa. Absently she smiled as she touched the warm hollow where she'd spent the night. If she dreamed of Chopper, she'd be sure to come to bed more often.

Riyo removed the evening gown she'd fallen asleep in and slipped on her favorite worn pants and top. Stretching her arms, she moved toward the living room to stop in mid-stretch.

The room was subtly different. Neater. Her shoes by the doorway were paired and lined up; jackets and sweaters that had been strewn about were neatly folded or hung from the coat hooks. She froze. There was a presence in the apartment; she suddenly knew that and slowly turned toward the kitchen, her heart beating quickly.

He was there, sitting on one of the counter stools. His elbows were on the counter and his arms up, both hands clasped into a single fist held on his lips while he watched her with his wonderful, mis-matched eyes.

"Chopper," her smile came like the dawn as she moved toward him, recognizing him as real and not a dream at all.

He moved his hands from his lips. "My lady Riyo, I am sorry I woke you so early."

Her hands touched his and he opened his palms for her. She grabbed them with her fingers and brought them up to her lips, kissing them and putting them around her face.

Chopper hissed in shock, but his hands drew her closer to him. "I didn't know, my lady. I didn't know if you still wanted me."

Chopper played his harmonica each time he visited her. He really didn't have anything for his lady except himself. But that meant the work of his hand and his head as well. Riyo had soft tears on her cheeks when he played his composition of a lone trooper. Chopper had touched those tears into nothingness and decided to compose her something merrier. It would be easy with his own heart so full of joy.

Unfortunately, she was so often busy with the new chairman of Pantora or with some senate meeting or trade agreement needing consideration. His times with her were frequent, but short; stolen moments between meetings and receptions. The first day Riyo had laughingly taught him to cook scrambled nuna eggs and after he cooked breakfast while she prepared for the day. He quietly sat with her in the evening, mentally composing songs as she checked senate paperwork. Absently he wondered if forever would be long enough then shook his head. He didn't have forever. But he had now and for Chopper, that was more than sufficient.

They were on the sofa watching the lights of Coruscant at sunset; a rare moment when she was not preparing to go somewhere or just back from some event. Riyo sighed softly in contentment and leaned against his side, one arm hugging his wide chest and resting in the curve of his neck. Instinctively, his arm came around her shoulders, drawing her closer to him, closer to his heart.

"I will be returning to the Resolute tomorrow." He announced in his low voice. His cheek rested comfortably on her head, against her dusky, heather hair. She smelled of flowers in a wind.

She turned toward him, her free hand resting on his leg, slightly above his knee. "I know. Padme mentioned General Skywalker would be leaving." Her hand came up to his face, her palm on his cheek. "Return to me when you can." Then she burrowed deeper into his side with her hand resting on his leg. Her cheeks darkened and she swallowed, her mouth opened softly and Chopper knew she was about to invite him to her bed. He touched her lips silent with a finger. She waited.

It seemed an eternity Chopper stared at her hand, slender and delicate and beautiful against the darkness of his garrison fatigues. He reached and cradled her hand in his palm as he brought it to his lips and kissed her fingertips. He set her soft fingers against the scars on his face. Her fingertips were warm and gently stroked the ridges of scar tissue.

"I'm scarred, my lady Riyo. Badly scarred. Not just here…" He closed his mismatched eyes and brought her hand to his lips, giving her palm a kiss as he moved her hand to the narrow of his throat then under his collar toward his shoulder. He didn't want to see her look of horror, of revulsion as he pressed her fingertip against a scar normally hidden by his clothing.

"Front and back." He swallowed the lump forming in his throat as he moved her hand from his throat down his body to just below one knee. "Neck to knees." With only the tiniest quiver, he laid her hand in his lap, on his groin. "Even here, my lady. Burn scars, mostly, on the legs. Explosive, mostly, on the back. Shrapnel pretty… much… everywhere." Chopper had never been so terrified, never felt so utterly, purely empty.

Her fingers rested on his groin then her hand, both hands, moved to touch his face, sliding over the scars on his cheek to his neck. The touch of her fingertips seemed to leave a burning trail.

"I'm sorry, Riyo," Chopper whispered, his fingers curled in her hair, his breathe touching her face. "I'm so sorry."

She raised her head closer to him, touching his jaw with her own face, inhaling the scent that was his. She kissed the corner of his jaw where it met his throat. "What are you sorry for, Chopper, my love."

"You should have a better man than me. A citizen. More experienced." There'd been a few mishaps and miscommunications; where he didn't understand civilian ways. He smiled wistfully; like thinking zero six hundred a good time to visit her. "A better lover." They hadn't made love, preferring to stay on the couch; preferring to talk and kiss. Chopper knew he would be clumsy, inept, out of control. His jaw worked with emotion, but she waited. "A man without scars," he finally blurted out.

"But that man would not be you, Chopper. I could not love him."

There was still the sadness in his eyes; one golden brown and the other an almost crystal yellow. Riyo moved to face him, her hands on his face, guiding so he would look at her. "Chopper, do you remember when you kissed me."

"Best moment of my life," he said quietly.

"Mine as well." Riyo smiled in reminiscence of a kiss on a battle destroyer with two troopers as witness. When a woman kisses you like that, Chopper…

He glanced sharply at her, but found no hint of irony or sarcasm.

"You called me beautiful." She leaned closer to him, her breath on his skin.

"You are," he smiled, hesitantly taking the liberty of letting his fingers drift softly over her cheek. She closed her eyes, her hands on his face softening and sliding to his neck. Chopper wondered if his touch left burning trails on her skin.

"Chopper," She didn't remove her hands curling around his neck and resting on the junction of his shoulders, the smallest finger of one hand edged under his collar to touch the scar there. "Do you remember what you said after you'd called me the most beautiful woman you'd ever seen?"

"That I would be yours." He would. Chopper knew that she alone would haunt his dreams for the rest of his life. Other troopers might have drawings or holovids of Twi'lek dancers or memories of Zeltron adventures; he would have his lady, his love, Riyo.

"Before that," she said.

He gave a small shake of his head. "That you were beautiful."

"Did you enumerate my beauty?" Her face was earnest now, almost stern. "Did you speak about sparkling eyes and smooth skin?"

Chopper bent his head to hers, speaking thoughtfully. "I said 'you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, my lady. Wise and kind, peaceful and gentle. If I could, I'd give you the galaxy'.

She smiled in memory, her eyes moist. He hoped he wasn't going to make her cry. "The most beautiful woman you'd ever seen and yet… not a single word about sparkling eyes or silken hair. You spoke of internal qualities – wisdom, kindness, peace, gentleness."

Slowly he nodded. "They seemed the qualities that took your beauty beyond comparison."

She smiled, moving one of her hands from his neck down his chest and resting, once again, on his groin in acceptance. "Chopper, you are the most attractive man I know; strong and honorable, brave and sincere, kind and ever-searching."

He sucked in his breath, shaking his head. "I can't be…" His voice faded and he simply looked at her, lost.

"You are, my dear Chopper, my dear love. You are quite the most wonderful man I have ever met and I think I've loved you since Fives pointed you out as the one with no markings on your armor and I was afraid you'd be lost in the snow."

He thought a moment, stunned by her words then he ducked his head into her palm. "Thank you," he whispered.

Her fingers slowly slid down to reach under his shirt.

He gripped her hand before it reached his skin. "Know that you can stop, Riyo. I won't blame you if… if the scars are too much. We'll go no further than you feel comfortable."

His lady, his love, lightly ran her fingers under his shirt then splayed her fingers against his chest pushing off the shirt. For an instant Chopper turned cold. Then her fingers were tracing the outline of turret crossbeams in his skin. Would it feel like fire every time, he wondered. There was no look of disgust; only the interest in him, her fingers and her eyes trying to remember him. He knew, so she would remember him until she died in the long future.

It will always feel like fire for both of us.

Then her voice was in his ear, whispering under what conditions she would feel most comfortable and Chopper groaned softly deep in his chest as he stood, grabbing her from the couch. He clasped his treasure in his arms and strode to the bedroom.

Absently, Riyo smiled. Chopper was much easier to kiss, much more a reasonable height lying down. She raised herself on his chest, and his eyes observed her. He didn't smile often, didn't have a face made for smiling, she realized; which was odd because so many of his brothers did. But his eyes smiled, it was so easy to see he was wonderfully amazed and sweetly content by looking into his eyes. She reached down with her lips to his.

"Just so there's no confusion, my lord Chopper, I love you." Riyo watched his eyes crinkle at the corners, definately an amused smile hiding there. "I will love you, forever."

"I will never forget it, my lady love."

Enjoy and review. I may take Christmas Day off but on the other hand I may post... certainly by Thursday will be the next chapter.