Chapter Two: Condensation

Dean woke up back on his bed, drenched in sweat.

He thought he faintly remembered screaming. He hadn't screamed had he?

"Sam?" Dean throat was dry and hoarse.

"Yeah, I'm right here. How you feeling?" Sam was up and by Dean's side in 3 strides.

"Like crap, how's Cas?"

"He's, well, he's alive." Said Sam posture sagging as he eyed the other bed.

"Who screamed?"

Sam looked down at his brother and then back to the bed.

"I shouldn't have let him do it, you shouldn't have stopped me letting go."

"Dean, it was his choice, if you'd have let go when you did it would have been for nothing. You had to finish it."

Dean sat up cautiously, testing out his side. There was still a dull throb and his head was still swirling from the spell but he felt good. Better than before anyway.

"Well, I'll say it worked," he said getting to his feet and stretching carefully. "Look, I can walk and everything." Dean went to the fridge and grabbed a beer before going to stand by Cas's bed.

He was passed out and just as sweat covered as Dean. It appeared Sam had removed his trench coat and suit jacket, leaving him in a now semi see through white shirt. Dean pulled a swig from his bottle as he studied the unconscious Cas. He looked worse than Dean had before.

"Damn it." Cursed Dean, shaking his head.

"He'll be fine Dean. We'll be here to help him out while he's on the mend. Don't worry so much."

Dean just continued checking over Cas.

He'd screamed.

He never wanted to hear that sound again as long as he lived. Not from the angel who'd been exploded for messing with Lucifer and Michael, the angel who'd taken on Sam's insanity to make up for his wrongs, who'd gone solo in Purgatory just to keep Dean safe. The angel who had rebelled for them...For him.

Fuck.

"So what's next, sit and wait 'till he wakes up?"

"I guess so. It's not like we have any leads on the dick who caused all this." Sam responded.

It was 2 days before Cas awoke.

Sam was out on a food run and Dean was sitting on the dimpled couch watching a re-run of Dr Sexy when he heard movement behind him. He turned to see Cas half sitting up, head resting on the bed post.

"Hey man, how you doing?"

Castiel's groggy eyes honed in on Dean and just stared for a moment as he considered his answer.

"I'm warm." He said fidgeting under the sheets and shoving them off.

Dean couldn't help but laugh a little, but he immediately shut up after glimpsing Cas's face.

"Sorry, it's just, of all the things you have to complain about your bitching at the heat." Said Dean grinning sheepishly.

"I'm used to pain, in a sense, but heat is...new. I don't like it." Cas pulled at his shirt sleeves, rolling them up just above his elbows.

Dean went to the sink and rank a cool glass of water. "You thirsty?" He asked handing it Castiel.

"Yes..." Cas replied, tilting his head and reaching out a shaking hand which he looked at dispassionately.

"Not used to any of this are you?" Dean noted sitting on the edge of the bed. "You've been out for two days, you think you'll be up and about any time soon?"

"Two days, " Cas pondered "I expected worse...I should be steady on my feet by tomorrow." He said, wiggling his feet experimentally "As for my powers, I can't be sure."

"Well, baby steps 'ey? Lets just take this day by day." Dean stopped and scrutinized his hands as Cas gulped down the water.

"Cas, I just wanted to say, and I mean this, thank you." He peered at Cas, his olive eyes locking with the ice blue of Castiel's. They didn't speak for a what seemed like an eternity.

Dean cleared his throat and moved his gaze to study the wallpaper.

"You're welcome Dean. It's worth the discomfort to save a life. Your life."

"Yeah well, like I said, thanks." Answered Dean twitching in his seat.

"You would have done the same for me." Added Cas, putting his hand on Deans.

Dean flinched but didn't take his hand away.

Sam chose that moment to walk in, luckily for Dean he was paying more attention to getting his key out of the stiff lock.

Dean snatched his hand away and got up as casually as he could manage.

"Look who's awake Sam, it's sleeping beauty." Dean teased.

"Hey. You're looking better." Said Sam closing the door.

"He's hot." Answered Dean getting a smirk from Sam.

Dean felt his face getting flushed and he had to resist the urge to clear his throat again. "I mean, he can feel temperature and he's complaining, ha." Dean scratched his forehead. "Oh, he should be walking by tomorrow."

"Yeah, that's a start. You need anything Cas just ask okay."

"Yes. Thank you."

"You're not the one who should be saying thanks but you're welcome." Said Sam.

The next day, or night rather Cas was indeed walking again. When Sam went to the store again for a can of lighter fluid, Cas insisted on going with him, happy to have the full use of his legs again. Anyone would think he'd been in a wheelchair for a year the way he was acting.

The weeks went by and Cas was steadily improving. He was practically back to normal, only thing missing was his healing skills.

Dean, however, stayed the same. Side still giving him the odd twinge, though he couldn't complain. It was a hell of a lot better than it had been at first.

"So what are we eating tonight, Sammy? No rabbit food."

"Well maybe if you got off your lazy ass..."

Sam was cut off mid sentence by a well aimed pillow to the face.

"Recovering invalid here, remember?"

"You were fine when you wanted to go for a drive before and I wouldn't let you."

"Yeah well, that was then. It's an on and off kinda thing." Said Dean, feigning a cough.

"Why are you coughing? You got stabbed." Sam laughed.

"I don't know, it's magic Sam. Who knows what could've happened to me." Dean looked over at Sam with a smirk. Sam just shook his head with a grin which quickly tuned into a concerned frown as Dean fell to the floor. Unmoving.

Sam hurtled to his brother, who was slowly regaining consciousness. "Hey, are you alright. What the hell happened?"

Dean rolled over and got to his knees looking at Sam. "I dunno." He said, reaching to his side. "This can't be good. Damn, that hurt like a bitch."

"Here." Cas said rising from his seat on a wooden stool and handing him his trusty bottle of painkillers and some water.

"Urgh, thanks." Dean swallowed the pills and clambered to his feet. He headed to his bed, lay down and promptly passed out.

Sam stood in wonderment and looked at Cas. "This definitely can't be good."

The next morning Dean woke up in agony. Sharp pangs with a dull throbbing aftershock was an uncomfortable combination and he was aching all over, joints seized.

He was, surprise, surprise, covered in sweat again.

Dean turned his head to see Sam hunched over the table laptop in front of him, screen blank. He must have fallen asleep dredging the net.

He moved slightly to take the pressure of his side and let out a gasp, waking Sam.

"Dean?!"

"Argh. Hey Sammy." Said Dean trying to smile coolly.

"Don't 'hey Sammy' me. What the hell happened?"

"I got no clue. All I know is I feel like shit again." He looked up at Sam. "It didn't work did it?"

Dean's pained voice made Sam cold.

"No." Said Cas when, once again Sam couldn't bring himself to answer.

"But I felt better, I was good. Mostly. What was that about?" Dean knew he wasn't as composed as he'd of liked but he need some fucking answers.

"It seems we only managed to put the curse on hold. We've concluded that if I hadn't been me, but a human who preformed the ritual, it wouldn't have helped at all but the extra energy abated your symptoms, for a short time."

Dean drooped and wilted back into to bed. "I'm sorry Cas, to have put you through that for nothing."

"It wasn't for nothing, you weren't in pain, for a short while."

"Yeah, and it almost killed you so I could feel better!"

Castiel's lips tightened as he looked away with a huff.

"Well I'm sorry but I sucked in all your energy and I'm still gonna die, I'm sorry it was a wasted effort, to have hurt you like that."

"Well I don't regret doing it." Cas said jaw set.

"Look Dean, we got time we'll figure something out. We always do." Sam said asserted.

"Agreed. We've been up against these odds before and made it through." Said Cas firmly.

Sam and Dean looked at him for a moment before Dean shifted again letting out another hiss of pain. "Okay then."

Cas nodded and vanished.

"Really! Again. C'mon Cas some info might be handy, or heck a goodbye." Dean shouted looking up at the ceiling. "Anti-social freak." Dean smiled to himself slightly despite his exasperation.

"I'm going to head out get some books that used to be in the Campbell library, there's still a few things we've not looked through yet. We might get lucky." Sam declared shoving his keys in his jacket pocket.

"Because we get all the luck."

"Dean..."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. I'll see you later."

Dean had a lot of of time on his hands and for all his best efforts his mind went back to that day Cas had woken up.

To the way he'd just stared at him for eons.

He'd held Dean's hand.

Why did he do it?

It was probably just and angel thing, Dean told himself. It's not like the dude was exactly well informed when it came to human socialisation. He was always in someone's personal space. Admittedly, it was usually his.

But what was troubling Dean more was that he hadn't pulled away. Also, his mind had jumped straight to the conclusion that it was somehow a romantic gesture on Cas's part and not just an inappropriate 'everything's going to be fine' reassurance. Dean could have just accepted it was just him trying to bolster Dean's spirits, moved his hand and jokingly said 'Hey, I don't swing that way.' But no.

On top of that was his reaction to Sam's little smirk at his wording of Cas being able to feel the temperature. Dean knew Sam had just been joking, teasing him the same way Dean had done countless times and would have done to Sam if it was him who'd accidentally said Cas was hot, but instead of just brushing it off he'd blushed. Actually blushed.

Dean shoved everything to the back of his mind and decided to concentrate on attempting to get up.

The pain had subsided just enough that he could stagger to the fridge and back although it left him shaking heavily with the strain of it.

He was sitting on the edge of his bed watching droplets of condensation lazily race each other down the side of his beer, wondering what was taking so long when he heard the familiar rustle of feathers.

"Well...?" Said Dean, not looking up from the sporting event on his bottle. There was a significant pause in which Dean, if he didn't know better, felt as though Cas was struggling to phrase what he wanted to say.

"I've searched everywhere I can think of, I..." Dean cut him off, still avoiding looking at the being stood just to his left, so close the hem of his trench coat was lightly brushing his knee.

"It's ok Cas, I know."

"No Dean, it's not 'ok.' You are going to die, permanently and painfully. Don't you understand?" Replied Cas with his usual tact.

"Of course I understand," Dean blurted jaw clicking. "but what am I supposed to do, huh? There's nothing I can do. I'm used to being on the chopping block it's nothing new as much as that might surprise you. No point freakin' out or whining about it." The bottle was becoming more interesting by the second.

"So that's it then, you're just giving up? After everything. I held you in a much higher regard than that, I see I was mistaken." Dean jumped up, rounding on the angel clutching at his side as he did so, and finally looked him in the eye, cursing at the ever present zinging throb. He was even closer than he'd thought.

"Oh, well I'm sorry Cas. I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment, that I'm not the big hero you thought I was. But you know what. Screw you!" Spat Dean, grimacing as another sharp stab lanced through his gut. "You wanted to hedge your bets on me, that was your choice Goddamit. Sorry to fail you again." Said Dean, in lowering his voice in vehemence. "But I can't do it anymore Cas, I'm done." His voice breaking on the last word, eyes stinging.

"Fail me? Dean that's not what I meant and you know it." Castiel growled lowering his head but keeping his ice blue eyes on Dean. "I...I just..."

"What?! Spit it out." They were so close now Dean could the feel other man's breath ghosting over his pallid skin when Cas replied.

"I'm not sure how to put it into words." He said, confusion and...anxiety? Evident on his usually stoic face, eyes darting across Dean's questioning expression. All traces of anger erased from his voice. Dean, his own temper starting to dissipate, studied the angel fervently.

His heart still racing, though he couldn't fathom why.

Cas interrupted his musing by shifting closer still. What the hell was going on, he thought, starting to get more than a little frustrated with the events unfolding before him. Dean didn't like not knowing, especially when whatever it was involved being in such close proximity to another dude. He was in the process of stepping back when a hand dropped lightly on his shoulder, heat sinking through the thin material of his shirt. Dean looked up, eyebrow arched in a silent question.

"Don't give up." Said Cas quietly, eyes unblinking.

Was that affection?

Dean just stared back at him, brow crinkling.

"It's just that I..." He sighed, dropping his hand back to his side and inched backwards. Now Dean was really puzzled. Since when did Cas, the porn watching, bad joke telling, personal space invading angel feel awkward?

"Sam wouldn't want you to give up." He said, turning slightly to look at a patch of carpet just beyond his elbow, a defeated slouch in his stance.

"C'mon Cas, don't give me that Sam crap, what is it? Just tell me and quit acting like a blushing school girl."

Dean froze.

He realised right then he knew exactly what Cas was struggling to say. His own words revealing what his subconscious had known for God knows how long. How long had he known and just pushed the thought away? He swallowed and ran a hand absently over his face. Never mind how long he'd known, why was he now pushing so hard for Cas to spill the beans? It's not like he had any kind of reply for the guy and things would be beyond uncomfortable. Right at that moment Dean would've been quite happy to forget the whole thing and live on (for however long he had left) in ignorant bliss. But he couldn't just leave it now he knew and he was so sick of running away form unpleasant situations, he'd done it his whole life and now it was time to face something head on. Besides, he was curious, always had been, in all aspects of life. He put it down to being a hunter, and what better time to be curious then your last days on earth.

"Urghh, to hell with it!" Dean said causing Cas's head to snap up in bewilderment. (Hey, if he was dying soon he was going all out. Why not? At least he could truthfully say he'd tried everything. Plus if he was going out, he was going out with a bang, and this was a pretty big 'bang' for Dean, he thought to himself.)

He stepped towards a confused Castiel, hesitantly placing a hand on his shoulder. When the angel didn't flinch away he moved his other hand gingerly to the side of Cas's face, all the while watching his reactions intently. Which involved nothing more than the usual unwavering eye contact.

Unreadable.

And yet the eye contact Dean usually found unnerving felt different this time, strangely comfortable. When it became clear that he wasn't going to get pushed away, or get any reciprocation, Dean slowly closed the distance between their bodies, pressing them together. He was flooded with an ethereal warmth which was somehow suppressing his growing trepidation. Was he really doing this? Was he really doing this with a dude, no scratch that, with Cas? He lowered his hand from the angel's shoulder trailing it down the beige sleeve to grasp his hand, following the movement with his eyes, and brought it to rest on his own hip, delicately squeezing to close the hand around him. His gaze rose and was met by a sea of blue that felt as though it was weaving its way though his soul.

Getting the gist, Cas flattened his free hand on the hunter's chest and ran it deftly up to his cheek to mirror Dean, brushing his collarbone in the process, making Dean's breath hitch. Heart racing faster still after that, the lightest of touches. From a guy! He had a moment of sheer panic before the blue was filling his vision once more. Eyes hot. Dean broke. He moved in, close enough for their noses to touch, gently swaying his head in small increments side to side before brushing his lips over Castiel's and then went on to peck once, twice. Experimenting, finally locking lips on the third go in a deep, smouldering kiss that had him tingling in more places than one, nerve endings on fire.

Cas was unexpectedly efficient, if a little haphazard, at rendering Dean gulping for air. He reached up to run his fingers through the dark, ruffled locks, drawing out a decidedly guttural moan and deep shiver from him that had Dean was positively floating as he relished in the thought of how new this all was for Cas, hell, it was new to him too in one major aspect. But the thought that he was getting to be the one to make Cas to feel real pleasure for the first time had him happier than it should have.

He broke away to look at the dishevelled angel whose pupils were blown wider than saucers.

"Does that resolve your little speech impediment?" Quipped Dean, panting and smirking slightly.

"I...Believe so, yes." Replied Cas, a small quirk on his lips and doing a little panting of his own.

An intense spasm of pain had Dean on his knees in a second, curling over and falling to his side writhing. Cas swooped down attempting to hold Dean steady as he rolled onto his back, slamming his head into the ground and letting out a wail unlike anything Castiel had ever heard.

On a hunch Cas reached over to pull Dean's top up. The jagged indentation on Dean's side was now pulsing a dull blue, spidery veins branching out and disappearing with each murky flash.

"Dean?" Another groan. "DEAN?"

Sam came to kneel at his brother's side, panic etched on his features. Cas had been so absorbed in what was happening he hadn't noticed the shaggy haired Winchester enter.

"What's happening Cas?"

"I don't know. But I can safely that it's say only going to get worse until..."

"Until he dies." Said Sam flatly fixing a hard, watery gaze on Cas.

Dean started to slowly relax under Cas's hold and looked up dimly.

"Friggin' curses." Whispered Dean and passed out.

"Damn it. Give me a hand?" Castiel cocked his head looking at Sam quizzically.

Sam rolled his eyes. "Help me get him to the bed."

"Of course." They each took a side and heaved Dean over to his bed where they left him sprawled out on the sheets and stood looking at each other, trying silently to figure things out.