Chapter 30: The Cruel Continuum

"Where the hell have you been?!"

The Commander wasn't sure what to say as he entered Sickbay and headed over to the Surgical Bed. He daren't say anything to infuriate her while she was in her current state.

His lips pressed into the weakest smile possible. He was glad to see she was now a little more relaxed. It looked as though all she had needed was his company and some cooler, non-sweat drenched clothing, namely the standard blue medical gown.

"I got held up, but I'm here now."

The brief smile she flashed was soon replaced with a creased forehead and she tightly gripped onto his willing hand as the contraction building hit its peak. It was getting more difficult for her to breathe.

The Doctor handed the Commander a cool cloth which allowed him the role of keeping the Captain as comfortable as possible. She still had a while to go.

The Captain's tense body relaxed against the bed the moment her contraction eased. Without warning, the cloth then was applied to her heated forehead and she sighed contently. It was a refreshing feeling when the coolness washed down her body.

She panted softly and allowed her once-gripped hand to delicately interlock between Chakotay's fingers. He didn't say a word, he just smiled down at her.

Her eyes fell closed for a moment. "How's the ship doing?"

He removed his hand from the cloth on her forehead and pressed the back of his fingers to her cheek. Her instant reaction showed it was yet another appreciated gesture.

"Fine." he assured her softly, "The hull's been sealed and is in the final stage of being repaired, and B'Elanna's getting the main computer back online. Secondary systems and warp drive are going to take a little longer though."

The Captain nodded softly. At least there was some good news.

"And how's my First Officer doing?" she asked quietly.

Chakotay felt the corner of his mouth twitch. "He's requesting permission to be at the bedside of his fiancée in Sickbay at the moment."

The Captain frowned softly. "And what exactly would he do if I said no?"

His mouth formed a full smile as he slowly leant down. "I'd be careful, Captain. He may end up disobeying that one."

Her eyebrow rose playfully, albeit not as defined as usual. He wasn't surprised, she was tired.

"And risk his rank on the grounds of insubordinate behaviour?" her free hand crossed her body and found his cheek, "I don't think the Commander's that stupid."

He simply laughed before softly kissing her lips, a brief gesture before he removed the cloth from her forehead and dampened it again. If his understanding of her timing were right, another contraction was due imminently.

The Captain allowed her hand to fall against her stomach. It wasn't as tender as it had been before but she could feel the difference. It seemed lower.

"Do you know how far along I am now?"

The Commander shook his head. "No." he confessed, putting his free hand on top of hers, "It looks like she's not ready to leave yet."

The Captain discretely bit her lip and sighed, her eyes looking down at both of their hands.

"I guess I don't particularly want her to leave yet either."

=/\=

"Doctor!"

The EMH appeared in no time at all, his legs making him arrive at the Captain's side in seconds. He sighed at the sight before him. She was completely worn out and even though he'd noticed an earlier indication her labour had begun to progress quicker, six hours had passed and she was still only at eight, possibly nine centimetres.

The Captain's hand gripped at her lover's, the man in question grimacing as her nails hit an already delicate spot on his skin. He was aware she'd begun to bruise him over the past hour but it was a small price to pay. It was clear she was reaching the end of her limits.

"Doctor, I've got to be almost there. Please."

Her eyes welded shut and her head turned into her pillow as her contraction reached its peak. There was only so much more she could take. Her head was pounding and the added stress of each minute-long contraction was making her feel quite faint. Surely there had to be a chance of it moving to the next stage soon.

The Doctor scanned her body and shook his head, somewhat regretfully. Like he'd expected, there was still no change. Even though her body was physically ready, she still wasn't moving into the transitional stage.

The Commander sighed, his forehead creased. "Doctor, there's got to be something you can do."

The Doctor could understand where he was coming from. His readings were showing him just how fatigued the Captain was becoming and while the baby wasn't in distress for the moment, if her energy continued to drop, it may have ended up being dangerous for both of them.

He sighed. "I could try and speed up her labour but I can't promise it'll work, and if it does, it could make it more difficult for her than it already is. Labour's a tricky process."

The Commander glanced down as her body relaxed again. Her face was red from exhaustion, her breathing deep. It was clearly not going to be easy for her no matter what.

"Do it." her voice was raspy.

Both the Doctor and Commander frowned. They hadn't realised she had heard them talking given the current state she was in.

"Kathryn?"

Her eyes opened slowly, her brow creased as she met his eye. She didn't care anymore, she wanted her baby out.

"I said do it." she somehow managed to shift her head and look at the EMH, "Please, Doctor."

The Doctor sighed deeply before nodding softly and moving away to sort out the medication. There was no reason for delaying the process any longer. It wasn't going to benefit either of his patients.

The Captain sighed loudly, her heavy eyes glancing up at the ceiling while the Doctor moved around her. She was more than ready.

She was aware of Chakotay kissing her hand before seeing the Doctor come to a stop at her bedside. Her eyes glanced towards him as she felt him press a cool hypospray to her neck.

"This should force the process along, Captain."

She nodded softly, her face creasing as she felt a surge of heat rush down her body.

"How long?"

"You should begin to feel the urge to push soon but even then, you won't be at the point of giving birth." he paused, "If this works, it'll only speed up your labour. It could still easily take some time."

The Captain nodded softly. "Well, let's just see how it goes."

=/\=

Up on the Bridge, Commander Tuvok was beginning to receive reports about the progress of the ship's repairs. Other than the rebuild of the port nacelle which would be impossible until the replicator system was back online, the only other major problem on-board was Cargo Bay 1. While the hull breach affecting the Cargo Bay had been repaired, the computer was still denying the crew access.

Tuvok understood why. Safety protocols were in place and couldn't be disabled until the Engineering team in charge of its repair ran their final safety check and ensured the bay was hospitable for humanoid life. It was logical. However, the lockout was causing an additional problem. So far, three members of the crew were unaccounted for and the last place they'd all been seen was Cargo Bay 1.

"Sir." Lt. Paris captured the Commander's attention as soon as he entered the Bridge, "Emergency teams have recovered the body of Crewman Jenkins in Jefferies Tube 24-Alpha."

Tuvok nodded in acknowledgement. Jefferies Tube 24-Alpha was the tube directly connected to Cargo Bay 1. It was likely to assume the Crewman had used it to try and escape the breach.

"It appears the force from the decompression of the breach pulled him back against the bulkhead. He had intensive head injuries. Lt. Matthews pronounced him dead at the scene."

Again, the Commander nodded in acknowledgement. "And what of the others?"

Paris shook his head, somewhat regretfully. "They haven't been found yet, sir."

The Vulcan nodded and went to return his attention to the PADD in his hand. However, Lt. Paris prevented him from doing so.

"Sir?"

Tuvok looked around and met the human male's eye. "What is it, Lieutenant?"

"Is there any news on the Captain?"

The Commander's expression remained unchanged. "No." he paused, "I shall inform you when I hear anything."

Paris nodded before turning and going back down to the helm. He supposed that was all he was going to get.

Out of habit, the Lieutenant took a look over the readings for the engines. It pained him a little to know his ship was missing one of its nacelles. To the pilot of a vessel, losing an engine was hard – it was as if he'd lost one of his own feet. Those engines were his babies when it came to flying the ship through the vacuum of space.

Taking a seat, he found himself frowning when one particular reading caught his attention. He shuffled; he wasn't quite sure he liked the look of it. Without wasting another moment, he turned his head and saw Ensign Wildman making her way over to the Science station.

"Ensign? Come take a look at this, would you?"

The Ensign didn't say a word as she hastily made her way over. In all honesty, she was surprised. While she and Tom shared an understanding of medical sciences, her understanding of propulsion was extremely limited.

She glanced down at the monitor which Lt. Paris was directing her towards.

"It looks like there's something disrupting the plasma stream in the starboard nacelle."

The Lieutenant nodded. "Yes, but look at the configuration of what's disrupting it. Doesn't that look familiar to you?"

Ensign Wildman found herself squinting as she moved her head closer to the monitor. It wasn't the fact that the dim lighting thanks to the red alert klaxons was making it difficult to see, it was because the reading was so small. She had to give credit to Lt. Paris' eyes if he could see something familiar about it. All she saw was a blip on the readout monitor.

She sighed. "Computer, magnify."

As soon as the command was responded to, both the Ensign and Lieutenant recoiled in horror. Now she could see what Tom meant. The configuration of the disruptive object was scarily familiar.

The Ensign felt her stomach turn. "It's humanoid."

In no time at all, Lt. Paris hit his combadge so hard he was sure he would get an indentation of the shape bruised onto his chest.

"Emergency crews, report to the starboard nacelle tube immediately!"

Both he and Ensign Wildman were heading towards the turbolift as he gave the order, their tension rising. Both were unsure they really wanted to go down and physically see what they'd discovered but at the same time, it was their job. They had a duty of care to recover whomever or whatever they could from clearly what was going to be a painful scene.

=/\=

The Captain couldn't help it, she screamed when the next contraction hit. Granted, they'd become less frequent than they had been but they were a hell of a lot stronger and longer-lasting. She'd really had enough.

The Commander's eyes widened momentarily as she forcefully gripped at his shoulder and pulled him down.

"I don't think I can do this…" her voice was weak, her pain evident, "I don't want to do this anymore."

She'd already had to fight through the new, unwanted symptoms caused by the progression of her labour. It had been rather ironic how she had still been sweating yet her body was colder than if she were skiing in the Ktarian Alps.

"You're doing wonderful." the Commander assured her.

The Captain's back arched as the tension made her muscles cramp. The pain was becoming increasingly worse and she was as tired as hell. She longed for it to be over soon.

In the time it took for her to take her next breath, she felt something new, a feeling she hadn't experienced before. She gasped sharply and immediately caught the Doctor's attention.

"I… I think I need to push."

The Doctor took yet another quick glance at the monitor continuously monitoring the Captain and came to the same conclusion. Her body was beginning to bear down.

"Well, then. Push, Captain."

She barely had the chance to do so as her contraction eased. She breathed in and out deeply, moaning as the needed cloth from her lover made its appearance on her forehead.

"Right, Captain, on the next contraction, you need to push."

She nodded tiredly. If there was one thing she'd learn from that experience, it was that.

It didn't take long for the next contraction to build and when it did, she felt an almighty urge to bear down. Somehow, energy she hadn't even realised she'd got allowed her to push with all her might, her grip on the Commander's hand so tight it made her own hand tremor. She didn't care.

Her breathing stopped for a few moments. She was finding it too difficult to know how to both push and breathe.

The sensation of feeling the pressure between her pelvis move was rather incredible, a feeling which was short lived as her contraction died down.

"Good." the Doctor commented, noting the movement of the baby, "A few more pushes like that and you'll have delivered the head."

The Captain nodded breathlessly. She was sure as hell going to hold him to that. If it took more than a few pushes, there'd be trouble.

Chakotay leant down and kissed her cheek. He couldn't quite believe how marvellous of a woman she was, even in that state. She certainly had a lot more strength and willpower than he ever could.

"You are doing absolutely incredibly." his voice was like a soft dream in her ear but it didn't stop her rolling her eyes.

She huffed as a shot of pain ran down the back of her leg. "It's easy for you to say!" she grimaced as she tried to move, "I'd like to see you give it a try!"

The Commander's smile was only briefly seen by the Captain before another contraction began to build. She moaned loudly, she hadn't expected it to be so soon.

The Doctor stood, watching as her body began to bear down again.

"Push, Captain!"

She did exactly that, her breathing halting while she did so. It only lasted a few seconds before she had to make a desperate gasp for air.

"Captain, you need to remember to breathe." the Doctor reminded her.

He was right, she knew that. However, her priority was pushing and her reward was feeling yet another change of pressure from between her pelvis. It was clear that her daughter was getting closer to joining them all.

"Excellent, Captain." the Doctor allowed her a moment to relax as the contraction ceased, "You're crowning, I can see her head."

Somehow, despite the fatigue plaguing her system, she found herself smiling. She couldn't have heard anything better than that.

=/\=

It took Lieutenant Paris, Ensign Wildman and the emergency crew members mere minutes to reach the starboard nacelle. Like a lot of areas within the secondary hull, the space wasn't as large as the standard decks. In all honesty, it was more like a Jeffries Tube but one in which crew members could stand up in.

A minimal level of debris yet to be clear by repairs teams made the trek down the tube towards the nacelle a little hazardous but it didn't stop them. They had to get in there.

Lt. Jackson headed the group and was by the doors to the nacelle tube by the time Ensign Wildman had managed to log into the monitor for nacelle control. It was her intention to ensure the safety fields were in place before anybody actually entered the nacelle tube itself.

"Lieutenant!" Jackson called, "The computer won't allow me access."

Lt. Paris pushed his way through the team to the front. He saw immediately that the safety protocols in place had yet to be disabled.

"Sam, is it safe?"

Ensign Wildman nodded. "Aye."

It was all Tom needed to hear before typing in his command code. However, the computer still denied them access.

He huffed, feeling infuriated. Safety protocols were always a good thing but sometimes they could be a damned pain.

"Computer, open Door 29-Beta. Emergency Code-1. Clearance: Paris-Delta-4-6-9-Omega-7!"

The doors hissed open in response to the code and allowed the group to enter immediately. The plasma field was safely contained and able to viewed through the large viewport to the left, one so big that the tube had two levels in which crew members could typically look into it from.

Lt. Paris looked across the plasma flow from the bottom level. There was a slight gap in the flow, clearly where something had previously been disrupting it but from where he was stood, he couldn't see what.

The emergency crew members spread out in the tube, they too unable to look down and see the disruption. It was only Ensign Wildman who decided to climb up to the second level. When she was up and then turned to look through the viewport, it was then that the other officers heard her gasp.

"My God!" she cried.

Tom immediately looked up and could see her looking at something further down in the plasma field, something he couldn't see without joining her. In no time at all, he too climbed the ladder and then was able to see what the Ensign could. A body.

He felt his stomach turn. The crew member, whoever it was, was badly burnt by the plasma and left beyond recognition. The only lucky thing, he supposed, was the fact that their body was no longer in direct contact with the plasma. If so, they'd have been vaporised.

"Jackson, shut down the plasma field." Lt. Paris ordered.

Lt. Jackson lifted his head and met Tom's eye, his face slightly hesitant.

"Sir, shutting down the plasma field will render the nacelle useless. It could take days to reinitialise it."

Lt. Paris sighed deeply. He could see the Lieutenant's point but at the same time, it wasn't a problem. The other nacelle wasn't functional, it was barely existing. Even reinitialising the starboard nacelle would be done quicker than the rebuild of the port one. There wasn't really much left to lose – the ship wouldn't be going anywhere until they were both fixed anyway.

"We haven't got a choice. We need to get them out of there and I don't know about you but I don't fancy doing that with an active plasma field." he pointed out, "Shut it down."

Jackson nodded. "Aye, sir."

=/\=

The sensation of actually delivering her daughter's head had been more than enough to allow the Captain to feel a little relieved. She was also glad the Doctor had stopped commanding her to push. If she never heard the word again, it would have been too soon.

Now panting under the Doctor's orders, the Captain was mildly aware of how close her daughter was to entering the universe. She could feel her coming.

She held onto Chakotay's shoulders, her hand wrapped around his neck while he held her upper back as she leant forward. It was the final moments of her experience of giving birth and in her humble opinion, it was about damn time.

"Almost there, Captain." the Doctor assured her, his hands in place to capture the new born.

After a final few pants, the sensation between her legs changed and she felt her body relax. She cried out with a sense of relief as she fell back onto her pillow. It was only then that she heard what could only describe as the best sound ever, her daughter's cry.

She instinctively smiled as her eyes fell closed, her hands coming up to hold her head. She'd done it.

The Captain was unaware of what was going on at her feet for a few moments. She even missed the fact that Chakotay had disappeared from her side to assist the Doctor with the clean-up of the baby. She was far too focused on having a few seconds to steady her breathing.

It was the quietening of her baby's cry which made the Captain lift her head. The sight before her made her heart melt, the Doctor scanning the new-born now lightly wrapped up in a blanket and in the arms of her father. It didn't even bother her that he was holding her first.

The Doctor smiled softly as he closed his tricorder, his head turning to face the tired Captain.

"She's perfectly healthy." he assured her, "Well done, Captain."

She sighed deeply, shuffling slightly so she could try and sit up. The Doctor recognised her need and came over to assist, sorting out the pillow so she actually had something to lean her back against.

The Commander came up to her side, his eyes never leaving the little one in his arms. He honestly couldn't have imagined seeing something so innocent, so perfect. His smile was wider than she'd ever seen before and when he lifted his head and met her eye, she could see the sparkle. It made her feel a little breathless.

"Well done, Kathryn."

She didn't speak. She wasn't sure what to say but it wasn't an issue since a moment later, the Commander handed the baby to her.

She gasped softly the moment the little girl registered in her arms, her smile so big it hurt her cheeks. She didn't care. After all that time, she finally got to meet her daughter.

The Commander sat down in the chair at her bedside and found his eyes beginning to water. He promised himself there and then that the smile on Kathryn's face was one he'd never forget.

When she lifted her head, she was a little surprised to see a tear rolling down his face. Chakotay wasn't one to cry, she'd only seen him do it twice and both times had been painful to see. However, that day, it just made her heart swell more. She loved him almost as much as the child in her arms.

"You old softie."

He laughed delicately as he leant over and kissed her cheek, his lips lingering a second longer than expected before he pulled away. She turned her head with a smile, surprised to see him still so close. When he then pressed forward again and captured her lips in a chaste kiss, she had no objections.

"I love you." he whispered, his soft words making her heart flutter.

She leant her forehead against his, her eyes glancing down to watch the new-born in her arms.

"Love you more."

The Doctor, still watching from the side, gave the couple a few sweet moments of doing nothing other than watching the infant before he spoke up.

"Would you like me to take a holo-image?" he asked.

The Captain and Commander immediately lifted their heads, the Captain nodding instantly. She wanted nothing more than to have a physical memory of that moment. It was perfect.

The Doctor picked up a small holo-imaging device from the side and focused on them. It wasn't hard to see the smiles beaming from the Command Team as they posed briefly.

As soon as the picture had been recorded, the EMH showed it to the couple.

"Not bad." the Captain commented, suddenly overcome with a contraction-like cramp.

She gasped, she hadn't been expecting that.

Without saying a word, the Captain allowed the Commander to take the little girl from her arms and she slid down the bed onto her back. The Doctor scanned over her, nodding as he did so. He'd been expecting her to enter the final stage of her labour anytime soon.

"Just the delivery of the placenta, Captain." he met her eye with a kind smile, "I promise you it'll be a lot easier than before."

=/\=

The Doctor had been right, the final stage of her labour had been over in minutes and that then gave the Captain time to spend with her daughter. If Q stuck to his word, she wasn't sure how long that time would be so she intended to make every second count.

Lying on her biobed, Kathryn looked down at her daughter. She was lying to her side on the mattress itself, lightly wrapped in her blanket. Still sleeping, she was sandwiched between the only two people in the universe who would love her more than no one else. Her parents.

As the time passed, the Captain felt her eyes begin to release bitters tears. Her beautiful miracle was going to be taken away soon and she didn't have the energy to handle that. It was more painful than anything she'd ever experienced. Losing her father, stranding her ship in the Delta Quadrant – they had nothing on it.

Chakotay placed his hand delicately on her shoulder. It was the only thing he could do.

Kathryn sighed brokenly, her finger coming up to softly run along her daughter's tiny hand.

"You're so beautiful, honey. So beautiful."

The words hurt to say. It was making the truth become more real.

"I want to tell you you'll be loved where you're going, but I'm afraid I can't do that, and that scares me. It scares me so much." she paused for a moment, "All I can say, honey, is that Mommy and Daddy love you, so, so much."

She gulped back the tears threatening to cut off her speech. "I don't know if you'll ever remember me, or even if you can, but I love you, honey, and I am so sorry that I won't get to see you grow up."

Chakotay could feel his cheeks getting wet as Kathryn spoke to the baby. Each and every sentiment she said, he shared. He really, really did.

He was about to contribute, about to tell the child his own feelings, but his time was cut short by the worst sound possible. Q.

The Captain felt her resolve break as her lips fell down to her daughter's head. She kissed her lightly, refusing to look up. She didn't want to see him yet. It was too soon.

It took all of Chakotay's strength to make himself stand up and look around at the being ready to kidnap Kathryn's baby. He couldn't quite believe it.

Q didn't say anything. He just stood at the bottom of the Surgical Bay and looked over at them.

Chakotay felt his head shaking. "Q, not yet. You can't."

Q said nothing as he walked up to the bedside. It pained him to see the Captain's hands shaking as she picked up the baby and cuddled her as close to her chest as possible. It was clear how much it was hurting her, how much she wasn't ready to give her up.

He really did feel like the monster she'd accused him of being all those months ago.

"I'm sorry, Kathy. It's time."

She shook her head adamantly, doing her best to hold her baby close without harming her.

"No." she breathed, her voice having surrendered to her underlying tears, "Not yet, Q. Please, not yet."

Q did his best to stay calm, his best to follow the orders he'd been given by the Continuum. He knew they wouldn't be pleased if he showed up without the child.

The Commander found himself breaking. Seeing Kathryn in the state she was in was more painful than the time he'd watched her die.

The Captain's breathing faltered when she felt a pair of hands slip over hers in order to hold her daughter.

"Please, just leave her." it was her last chance, "Leave her with me."

Q felt his head drop for a moment. He couldn't.

"I can't. I'm sorry."

The Captain sighed brokenly. "Just a little bit longer."

Q shook his head. "The longer I give you, the harder it will be."

Reluctantly, the Captain allowed her hands to drop away from supporting her daughter. Her breathing hitched sharply and she gripped Chakotay's nearby hand for needed support only a moment after she felt her daughter leave her arms.

The Doctor was sat in his office, his face painfully long when he heard the Captain's broken sobs echo throughout the room. They were so loud he almost missed the final 'I'm sorry' from Q and the noise which accompanied the omnipotent being disappearing.

He fell back against his chair's backrest the moment her sobs grew. He knew it meant what he had hoped Q would find some way to stop. The baby was gone.