Hi everyone! I wanted to thank you all for the response to this story. LucyxAnyoneShipper: Yeah, we'll see as the story progresses further that there is a lot neither Lucy nor Laxus knows. Lol-several people have told me I drink sugar flavored with coffee so yay! fellow sugary coffee-lover! Tiernank: Thank you! and last, but not least, Guest: Yeah...this story will be bouncing between dark and more light-hearted. After this election cycle, I didn't have it in me to go dark so this chapter will be more filler-ish and light-hearted.

We will shift focus almost entirely to Lucy and Laxus beginning the next chapter.

Until then, please enjoy!

Chapter Three

"We know not who They are. We know only that They have successfully stopped previous attempts to break This Curse. It has long been postulated They are of Divine Origins, perhaps Fallen Beings. No One has lived who have seen Them, No One has Spoken who have heard Them. No One save One. We shall pray and Hope, Lucy Heartfilia, that as Her Blood runs through Your Veins, so too shall Her Spirit Guide and Protect You."

"Sweet!" crowed Natsu, a fist pumped in excitement. "I'm all fired up! Where are we going? What are we doing? Who do we have to beat? Count us in, right, Happy?"

"Aye, sir!"

Given that Lucy was soon to be leaving for an undetermined length of time with Laxus for a mission only they two, along with the Royal Family—and maybe, possibly, probably, Zeref, because as far as Lucy was concerned, he knew everything and though it went unvoiced, neither she nor the Fiores thought Zeref's impulsive decision to leave Ishgar was unrelated to said curse—she thought it prudent to sit her team down and announce her upcoming absence due to a mission. Thus far, it was going as predicted.

"Don't be ridiculous Flame brain, you can't go!" Grey's remark was, as always, impossible to ignore for Natsu and barely a minute passed before both mages were snarling at one another, foreheads pressed together and an arm curled back and ready to strike. From her spot at one end of the table, Erza's expression shuttered as she put down the rag she had been using on her newly-sharpened sword.

"Are you both fighting?" her voice was low but enough to remind the two rivals of her presence.

"No way, Erza, we're best buddies!" Gray slung an arm around Natsu who repeated the gesture.

"Best buddies!" Natsu added a thumbs and a forceful grin that fooled no one but Erza.

"That is what I like to hear," Erza smiled fondly at the two. "But Gray is correct Natsu. You are still forbidden from taking missions until Master says otherwise. Worry not, Gray and I shall—"

"None of you are coming with me!" Lucy interrupted, voice rising as she abruptly stood up from the bench, hands flat on the wooden table.

Four pairs of eyes, three human and one exceed, turned, as one, to look at her and blinked in unison. Were the situation different, Lucy would have found the symmetry creepy.

"B..but, why?!" Natsu looked at Lucy searchingly.

"Are you mad at us, Lushee?" Happy crawled on top of the table, "Is this because we didn't help you wipe the dog's butt?" His eyes went wide, "Oh no, having to look at the dog's butt all day made you crazy, didn't it? I told you dogs were evil, Natsu! Ahhh! No Lushee, you can't be crazy, you're already a weirdo!"

"You're wrong Happy!" Natsu's expression was akin to Happy's. "Luce ain't crazy. She must've caught some weird dog disease! Don't worry Luce, we'll get you to Porlyusica and she'll have you fixed up in no time! Man, who knew—"

"Shut it Natsu. Obviously, Lucy is just upset because her rent is due soon and she's running short," Gray rolled his eyes and Lucy fought the urge to do the same. Her year alone had been a healthy move for her savings, if not her emotional well-being and following Alvarez's retreat and the resumption of life's daily grind, Lucy's complaints regarding the state of her finances were kept to a minimum, if at all existent. It was not to say she didn't make her displeasure known over docked reward payments—despite clearly being a losing battle, Lucy felt it necessary to remind her teammates property damage did not go hand in hand with a successful mission and, given her duties both as Team Natsu's unofficial public relations person and overseeing the guild's financials, it seemed irresponsible not to at least acknowledge it. But when the time came for her to pay rent, she remained largely silent.

Several factors were responsible for this, most of which could be traced back to changes that naturally occurs when a team, no matter how tightly-knit, go their separate ways to recover from unspoken horrors and share nary a word with one another for an entire year. Tartaros may have failed in taking down Fairy Tail overall but they successfully fractured the relationships and sense of self its members held most sacred. Team Natsu might have come back together physically stronger but the unity in spirit that made the team what it was remained elusive. The biggest indicator of this was that Lucy, whose identity was so inexplicably tied to Team Natsu, began taking solo missions and while her salmon-headed partner was clearly not pleased by it, he stopped inviting himself along after the second time resulted in a particularly harsh Lucy-Kick and a shrill shriek in his ear that made it ring for days. He still made attempts to follow her, however, but whatever his success in finding her, he generally returned a day or so later sulking and more prone to starting fights for any little reason (including one incident where he decided Gajeel's use of the word "shrimp" was an insult directed at Happy…a stunned Happy was in tears throughout the entire brawl and it took Charla scoffing at the idea that he was the "shrimp" in question to cheer him up).

Lucy's happy entrance into the guild during said brawl ended it with a possibly stronger than necessary Lucy Kick that left several imprints of bodies in one of the guild's wall while the rest of those involved were caught in a large wool pile that left them picking pieces of the material out of unmentionable areas for days. That was in addition to her lectures regarding the damages done to the guild in her absence and the cost of repairs which, many would later agree, was much worse than her simply attacking them. Fairy Tail was a lively guild largely composed of orphans and there was something infinitely worse about the disappointed look in her eyes as she calmly lectured them than any physical punishments dished out. Elfman was not the only one who cried and begged for forgiveness when she took one last look at the broken furniture and glass littering the guild and let out a resigned sigh. To date, Lucy refused to have the wall repaired of its imprints and quietly, many assumed it was meant to serve as a reminder and warning. With such changes to their teammate, it was no wonder Team Natsu, though still prone to breaking into her apartment, were less prone to inflicting massive damage while in it or eating her out of house and home. Lucy was grateful for the savings and Team Natsu were grateful for a general decrease in Lucy Kicks and increasingly longer stretches of hospitality from the blonde. All things considered, Lucy found herself with little reason to bemoan her finances.

The state of the guild's finances, however, were quick to take its place and grievances commonly focused on the guild's habit of just skirting the red. Makarov wept tears of joy as, except for the first several months following the x791 Grand Magic Games, Fairy Tail had never been in the black before and being near the red was preferable to the guild's normal state. He gave Juvia a run for her money in flooding the guild with tears when he realized Lucy's creative yet somehow still perfectly legal bookkeeping (accounting and legal authorities came to the guild to check the books the first-time Lucy sent out bills in Fairy Tail's name and were left shaking their heads in bewilderment afterwards. Porlyusica had to be called for Makarov when just a week later, Lucy received the first of several lucrative job offers) were augmented by her negotiation skills.

Laxus considered her prowess in negotiation to be some sort of "celestial magic voodoo thing," which earned him a bruised toe when Lucy stomped on his foot. Evidently, he failed to learn his lesson as, when put upon by Makarov to compliment Lucy's help in both contract negotiations and keeping the guild afloat (and for lessening the amount of financial paperwork making their way to the Dreyars' desks, which both were truly grateful for), his bumbling through somehow included the words "tits a-flashing" with a hand gesture that resulted in his introduction to a Lucy kick. Makarov may have laughed. He might also have been drunk but his reaction to the newly negotiated contracts wasn't much better. After making sure the figures and conditions of the contracts were correct, he promptly burst into tears as he clung onto the blonde, not letting go (albeit he may have decided to take advantage of the situation and cop a feel as well) until a very embarrassed Laxus had to bodily remove him and if the larger man sent several shocks the old man's way, no one chose to be the wiser. Actually, that might have contributed to the older man's gleeful cackling when Laxus went flying out his office window, eyes comically large and mouth agape.

According to a put out and understandably incensed Lucy, she began learning the art of deal-making from nearly the moment she could speak. Both her parents believed it hugely important for their only child to learn as soon as possible—her father because she was heir to the company he was building (and in hindsight, probably because he simply didn't know any different) and her mother because Lucy was to inherit Layla's keys and would be making contracts of her own with celestial beings. Laxus, who was forced to apologize to Lucy and found his paperwork that month particularly bothersome (Master decided to "teach" Laxus some more realities of a guild master by handing over nearly three quarters of his own paperwork) still thought it was a pretty girl with a sharp mind thing and Lucy let him get away with insultingly implying it was anything other than her mind that allowed her a good deal because, as she put it, "men are just stupid." Laxus wanted to take offense but felt she had too good a point. Makarov was convinced it was a celestial mage thing and a pretty girl thing—after all, as a celestial mage, Lucy needed to convince other beings to fight for and with her and as a pretty girl…well, Makarov had been convinced to do many a stupid thing by a pretty face and the distraction of his fantasies, particularly in his younger years. Unlike Laxus, the short Dreyar kept this to himself. Both Dreyars, however, agreed in the end it was likely simply a Lucy thing.

Unfortunately for Lucy, these were not the things that earned one reprieve at Fairy Tail and much to her dismay, a clear majority of the guild, including her own team, made little distinction between previous complaints about her personal finances and those of the guild. She wasn't surprised as many had difficulties distinguishing between their own individual finances and that of the guild. So long as both, member and guild could afford what they needed (or believed they needed), the consensus was to live and let live. The guild's propensity of living in the moment meant future planning was few and far between, most content to leave future planning to, well, the future. Gray's comment then, while irksome, was not entirely unexpected.

That didn't mean she couldn't get upset, however. "This has nothing to do with that," Lucy grounded out, losing the battle against rolling her eyes. The ice devil slayer merely raised both hands in the air, more to forestall an increasingly common argument than in capitulation.

"Then why can't we go too?" Natsu whined.

"Yes, Lucy, why?" Erza seemed hurt at the idea of Lucy not wanting her team to tag along.

Letting out a sigh, Lucy sat back down, leaning against the table with one forearm while the other hand held up a finger. "Well, firstly," she began, casting a look at her silent and now entirely-seated team, "because Team Natsu is still disbanded and secondly," another finger joined the first, "I was specifically requested for this mission. None of you were."

"What's the mission?" Grey's arms crossed in front of his newly bare chest and he frowned. "Are you sure it's safe? You should take someone along just in case. It could be trap, just someone trying to get you all alone—"

"I won't be alone." Lucy congratulated herself for remaining composed despite the familiar annoyance rearing its head once more as her teammates continued their over-protective inclinations over her. 'Coddling,' her mind whispered treacherously, 'because they think you're weak. Because you are weak.'

"Of course not, I shall go with you." Erza nodded in approval, a shroud of deadly calm wrapped around her shoulders as her eyes lit with suppressed anger at the thought of her fair-haired teammate being led into a trap.

"No you won't." Immediately, Erza's expression fell.

"This…This is because I did not bring you back cake, isn't it? My apologies, Lucy! It was a long journey back and I allowed my hunger to overtake the sacred bonds of our friendship." Lucy felt herself growing slightly lightheaded as metal-encased hands wrapped tightly around her shoulders, lifting her from her seat til her feet were off the floor and shaking her roughly. Lucy was not sure what hurt more, the crashing of her brain within her skull or the nearly rhythmic smack of the heavy wooden bench behind her against her calves. Dimly, she supposed at the very least, it was a good thing she would have bruises from the bench on her legs to match the finger-shaped ones that would surely decorate her shoulders. She would hate not to match.

"I am unworthy of your kindness. Please, strike me in retribution," Erza bowed her head, her grip tightening and her shaking more forceful. In bowing her head, her hands lowered and Lucy's feet now scraped against the floor with every shake, making the dragon slayers present wince at the noise. "It is the least I deserve for forsaking our friendship, even if it was for the most delici—"

A loud snort, coming from a hulking blonde two tables away, was followed by a gruff, "Geeze Titania, giving Blondie there a concussion won't make her forget you weren't invited."

"What are yo—Lucy!" Erza immediately let go of Lucy, bowing from her waist now as Lucy fell back down onto the bench, one arm forward to steady herself against the table and a hand coming up to cradle her head. Slowly, the room began to slow its spinning and she thought she could feel her brain weeping in joy as it slid back into place, safe from the re-equip mage, at least for the time being.

"S'okay…" she murmured, still dazed and absently mindedly waving a weak hand to end Erza's profuse apologies. As the room appeared to stop moving, she blinked several times until she was sure she was sufficiently recovered and then sent a thankful look Laxus' direction. The older dragon slayer rolled his eyes, shrugging one shoulder as he leaned back against the table and eyed Team Natsu warily. The firebreather was frowning and thinking—or at least, Laxus hoped he was and wasn't suffering a serious case of constipation—and his annoying exceed partner was…well, Laxus wasn't sure what Happy was doing. It seemed safe to assume the furball was thinking about fish though so he was going with that. The stripper was currently taking off his boxers so Laxus sent him a little shock and looked, pointedly, where the ice mage's hands were when Gray let out a grunt and then glared at him. Gray flushed in embarrassment as he pulled his boxers back up.

Laxus expected the Titania to take some umbrage, either at his shocking her teammate or at her teammate's unfortunate habit. The scarlet mage was, however, focused on Lucy.

"I cannot allow you to go on this mission alone, Lucy. It is far too danger—"

"I won't be alone!"

"Lucy is correct, she will not be alone," Freed broke into the conversation, sounding almost offended more attention was not being paid Gray, where Laxus' attention had been. Did no one in that team understand that wherever Laxus looked, that was where you should pay attention? "Laxus will be joining her so as you can see, Lucy could not possibly be in safer and more capable hands." The rune mage's words earned him (or rather, Laxus but Freed thought it best to pretend this was not the case) several glares from the direction of Team Natsu, including from Lucy who took some pleasure when the teal-haired man faltered, surprised, upon receiving a scowl from his hero.

"Dammit, Freed, why'd ya have to tell them? Now this one," he gestured his head towards Natsu, "is gonn—"

"Laxus, fight me!" Natsu was the first to recover from his shock and, with an odd look in his eyes but his mouth stretched in excitement, launched himself at the still seated Laxus, fists afire. As expected, he was promptly knocked across the room and into a wall with one punch from the older man.

"Don't break the wall!" Lucy screeched, alarmed, then let out a sigh of relief as her best friend slid down the still-standing, if dented, wall into an unconscious heap on the floor. Seeing the wall in one piece and knowing her friend was ridiculously sturdy (Lucy honestly believed Natsu could be sent flying from one end of the continent to the other and suffer little more than a few scratches and a terrible case of motion sickness), Lucy shot a stern look towards the older blonde. The lightning mage sighed, one thumb and index finger coming up to massage the skin between his eyes as the other hand went to rub the nub leading into his ears.

"Dammit Busty," he grumbled, "stop screeching!"

Two things happened simultaneously at his words which, in the future, Laxus realized he should have expected. Lucy screeched again, louder this time, perhaps actually saying something but more likely simply as revenge. Meanwhile, Erza appeared in a flash before Laxus, sword in hand as she looked upon him suspiciously.

"Are you threatening Lucy's virtue, Laxus?"

"Erza, put the sword down!" Lucy demanded, stalking over as well and gently lowering the redhead's sword-wielding hand as she stood between the two S-class powerhouses. "Honestly, if you two fight there's no way the guild will remain standing and the budget is stretched thin enough this month already!"

Erza frowned. "But he—"

"Oh, right." Lucy nodded, her words almost an afterthought, and before her teammate could finish the sentence, whirled around and slapped Laxus. Had the lightning mage been standing, there was no way she would have struck his face but he was seated and her palm cleanly met the set of his jaw. It barely stung but the unexpected meeting of hand on lower mandible meant Laxus' head turned slightly off to the side. "Friiiiiiiick," she hissed, holding her hand as the stunned dragon slayer looked on and Freed and Bickslow reflexively stood up, offended on their leader's behalf. "What are you made of?! I think your face broke my hand!" She flexed each finger, then her hand, several times as if to make sure it was still working. "Sorry," she silently mouthed to the quiet dragon slayer with the now twitching eye before turning back to Erza. "There, honor avenged!" she happily chirped, throwing a thumb up and winking.

Erza looked from one blonde to the other for a long moment before nodding in satisfaction. "Very well, I will not interfere this time. Although…are you certain you are pleased with just one hit? I could skewer him into several pieces for you if you'd like." The Knight seemed oblivious to her friend's alarm or the angry aura surrounding the Raijinshuu and Gray's answering rise in magic. Laxus and the unconscious Natsu seemed the only ones unaffected by her words.

"Completely sure," Lucy's hands waved frantically in front of her and Laxus. "And it's like Freed said, Laxus was asked to come on the mission, too, so I won't be alone and you know Laxus is strong. Super strong!" Lucy hurriedly added and at Erza's still unconvinced expression, turned slightly towards Laxus. "Say something!" she hissed.

Laxus shifted slightly, looked off towards the side, and grunted. Lucy smacked her forehead with the heel of her palm but Erza's stance relaxed.

"Very well, but if you need anything, be sure to call." Lucy's smile was heartwarming and the only warning she gave before leaping at Erza and giving the older woman a tight hug. Erza returned the embrace, not noticing Lucy's wince when her head crashed against metal breastplate. Letting the smaller woman go, the famous mage shifted focus to Laxus. "We will be counting on you Laxus. And I trust you shall protect our Lucy's maiden innocence from any threats as well." Erza nodded and, ignoring the spluttering and now red Lucy (who only turned redder at Laxus' smirk and soft snicker), turned her focus to the male members of the Raijinshuu.

"Freed," Erza frowned, looking from him to Bickslow, "Bickslow, should you two not be working on undoing your mistake?"

"Oh, it's fine," Bickslow shrugged nonchalantly, tongue hanging out. "Freed and me—and Master—got it under control now. Right, Master?"

Makarov, until then silent, nodded, eyes closed from his position at the empty bar. He seemed deep in thought and he was—mentally, he was tallying up the amount of money the guild stood to lose if he was to allow Team Natsu to reform, sans their celestial mage, and then sent them off on various missions to keep them busy. He could feel the heart attack just waiting to happen—assuming, of course, Team Natsu even made it to their destination. The one and only time they were sent off without Lucy (and Makarov swore he would never, ever, wish Lucy would get a handle on her team within earshot again. That sweet smile she sent him was almost as terrifying as Mira's and even as he agreed, he knew sending Team Natsu out sans the generally level-headed blonde was a mistake) on a mission, they never made it to their destination. There was, Makarov realized, a good reason Team Natsu did not exist until after Lucy's appearance, despite the three widely known members having been a part of the guild for years up til then.

The train never made it to their intended destination. The combination of the boys' rivalry coupled with Erza's temper led to a disastrous train ride with half the train severely damaged, a couple of cabins completely unsalvageable and somehow, train tracks that were simultaneously melted and frozen beyond recognition for miles at a time. Makarov was crying for an entirely different but much more familiar reason as Lucy placed the various bills and papers concerning that catastrophe before him. How she managed to keep the guild in the black that month, as well as handle the ire of all parties involved, remained a mystery to Makarov and he chose to keep it as such. (He wouldn't have received an answer anyway as Laxus and Lucy were dispatched to handle the crisis and both agreed not to speak of it to anyone—ever.)

Perhaps, Makarov considered, he could just make sure to send members of Team Natsu on individual missions. No, that wouldn't work. At the very least, Natsu and Happy would, at some point, get it in their heads to look for Lucy and that was on top of the damage they traditionally wrought, especially when left alone. Gray could generally be trusted to behave but he was not immune from breaking the occasional rule, especially if it seemed Natsu was going to do so and if it involved any member of his team (here, Makarov included Juvia because despite what the former ice-make mage said, the two were only rarely separated and if Gray was not on a mission with his team, he was likely away with Juvia). Erza could be trusted to complete her missions alone and not search for Lucy if she felt it was a rule or somehow dishonoring Lucy or the guild in any way. It would be a little tricky but not impossible.

Gray and Erza could do missions together but that left a Juvia flooding the guild and, most importantly, Natsu on his own away from supervision. Gray and Natsu were out of the question for obvious reasons and he could not allow Erza and Natsu to go out together on their own. They fed off each other's destructiveness and while Erza was prone to some amount of excess destruction in her solo days, it was manageable and nothing compared to the devastation she wrought with her team. Growing up together as they did meant Natsu (and Gray) knew exactly how to incite Erza's temper and the maturity the sword-wielding mage gained with age was lost as she fell back to the tendencies of childhood. Natsu would wreak damage in his love of a good fight and Erza could easily compound the damages trying to put a stop to Natsu's excited actions. No, no matter what Makarov did, he had to make sure Natsu in particular was under supervision and only Erza (and Mira but she no longer went out on missions and the money she brought to the guild with her modeling would be essential without Lucy working the guild's finances) was able to maintain some sort of control over the fire dragon slayer over any stretch of time. Unfortunately, Erza and Natsu required a Lucy-shaped buffer or another reasonable and generally level-headed person to help contain the damages that would inevitably occur.

Makarov groaned at the thought and slammed his head against the bar. Stupid annoying Royals and their stupid secret missions.

The Master's groan was taken as evidence to the amount of work he put into fixing the Freed and Bickslow's great mistake by Erza, Happy, Gray, and a newly conscious Natsu, despite their not having seen anything being done. The guild had barely been cleared five minutes before Lucy sat them down and announced her upcoming absence. Then again, perhaps the fact that the guild had stopped trying to tear itself apart had registered (even if they failed to notice the building had remained steadily and solidly constructed since the last member left for Blue Pegasus) so they had no reason to believe otherwise.

"I see," Erza looked around the empty main hall of the building, "I hope you two have learned your lesson." As she continued her lecture, hands on her hips, Freed and Bickslow looked down towards the ground, nodding intermittently and generally feigning guilt where there was none.

Oh, the things they did for their beloved leader.

The reasoning behind the two male Raijinshuu's lack of guilt was simple.

Their mistake was part of the plan concocted by the guild's two blonde members and Master Makarov, with some input from the Raijinshuu. And it was entirely because a certain team was infamously and overly reactive or, as Laxus put it, notorious for "making shit explosive diarrhea." Freed flattered Laxus over his way with words as Lucy, Evergreen, and Makarov grimaced over the imagery. But the inarticulate man had a point.

Owing to Team Natsu's well-known…enthusiasm, it had been decided that it was best if the team were informed of the upcoming separation at the guild, where Master could help keep them contained if necessary. Master gave his consent (Lucy insisted on telling Master the plan they came up with to inform her team. Laxus found this unnecessary, insisting Lucy was a teacher's pet and Master wouldn't dare say no to his new favorite. The word "suck up" may have been muttered under his breath but not silently enough as Lucy stuck her tongue out at him) and since the Raijinshuu would need to be informed of Laxus' absence, it made sense that they would be asked to help.

Telling the Raijinshuu their dear leader would be leaving for an extended period of time was easy. All Laxus needed to do was announce he would be going on a mission with the Celestial Mage per master's orders. Makarov's inclusion of Laxus regarding the constant threat surrounding Lucy meant the Raijinshuu were aware, to some extent, that Lucy's brand of power made her a much-sought after commodity in the dark magic world and it made perfect sense to them that he would accompany the blonde on whatever mission she took. Especially if, as she said, she was requested and her team, disbanded as they may be for the moment, were not. If anything, the Raijinshuu thought this was further proof of Laxus' sheer perfection and told him so. Lucy weakly smiled when Bickslow slapped her in the back, telling her how lucky she was to have Laxus helping her and Evergreen jabbed her in the ribs (only a little bit too forcefully) and made a comment about Lucy not taking advantage of Laxus. Freed was indignant at the innuendo, Bickslow snickered, Laxus rolled his eyes and Lucy wished the ground would swallow her up.

With the Raijinshuu ready and willing to help in whatever manner they could, the next order of business was to empty the guild. It was important there was no one present who could feed into Team Natsu's curiosity and disappointment and this being Fairy Tail, it essentially boiled down to having only those necessary present. Fairy Tail was not known for their comportment and a filled guild meant endless questions that would interrupt Lucy's conversation with her team, allowing her teammates to grow more frustrated and therefore, upset and demanding of answers.

Unfortunately, the guildhall was never empty and simply shutting it down with no explanation would not go over well. Thus, a different and much more complicated and ridiculous path was necessary, one which made Laxus smack his head and wonder what it said about him and the guild that he believed it would actually work.

In a day that would forever be known at Fairy Tail (and Blue Pegasus) as simply That Day, a mere two days before Lucy and Laxus would leave for Crocus, the plan took place. The deceptively normal-seeming day was widely circulated as one of the most terrifying yet hazy event amongst the various guilds of Fiore though for varying reasons. For Fairy Tail, it was the events before their arrival at Blue Pegasus that was horrifying while Blue Pegasus's deep scarring was the result of a Fairy Tail celebration afterwards. Most of the guilds who would find themselves drawn into the celebration were not so much scarred by the event as by memories of the morning, or rather, mornings, after though what little they remembered of the actual party itself was generally deemed significant enough as to warrant a drink or two (save for the pretty number of individuals who swore off alcohol entirely soon after That Day).

Supposedly, That Day began with an attempted unison raid between the two male members of the Raijinshuu who, for reasons unknown decided it would be a good idea to try one and did not consider combining seith magic with any other magic to be a bad idea. Perhaps their lone female teammate could have talked them out of it but she had fallen victim to a stomach bug and was recuperating in the dorms. Mira, twitching and squealing with glee, was quick to exit after some suggestive comments from Bickslow and Master suggested there might be another reason for the self-proclaimed Fairy Queen's nausea, determinedly dragging a stunned Elfman by his ear. Without Evergreen, the only other party available to offer an opinion was Laxus and the best one could hope from him was a grunt that could either mean "Yeah, that sounds like a good idea" or "You're an idiot and if you bring this up again, I'll shove my fist down your throat and hang you by your entrails." Freed, renowned for his intelligence and commonly a voice of reason, was, in this rare event, one of the irresponsible party, having fallen victim to his own curiosity and Bickslow was always game so long as something sounded fun. So the two were left, unencumbered, to do as they wished and if their wish was to attempt to combine their magics, there was no one to stop them.

But unison raids were not known for being notoriously difficult for no reason and while both mages were confident in their powers and magic, neither considered that magic itself was not an inanimate and stable entity nor was it immune to the whims or quirks of its caster. Bickslow's love of pranks met Freed's love of rules and an explosion—literal and metaphorical—resulted in an unpredictable mass of magic that morphed into exactly what one might expect if Freed and Bickslow ever found a way to create a child: it had Freed's curiosity and Bickslow's sense of humor. It was not alive exactly but neither was it not not alive and the combination of Freed's ruins and Bickslows' soul possession powers gave it something of personality quirk. Since the intent of the Unison Raid was meant to break a possessor's hold on their victim, the magic was intent on separating something. Preferably something that failed to follow the rules. And its inclination was to target something that bothered its casters.

Fortunately, neither men were mean-hearted. Unfortunately, Freed was not overly fond of the guild's excessive consumption of alcohol and Bickslow was far too fond of creating some mischief for his friends, particularly if they were drunk. The spell took these two pieces of information, presumably gave a nod and thought, "Yeah, this'll do!" Then it took a look around to see how else it could inconvenience people.

Thus, when members of the Fairy Tail staggered into what used to be their guild and was currently a building in the process of breaking itself apart only to put itself back together again, they were met with a frazzled Freed, an uncharacteristically serious Bickslow and Master Makarov's long face. The news Master broke was met with horror and tears. Or rather, the last news Master announced because the guild was oddly alright with the fact that their building was currently having an existential crisis and that things in the guild were re-arranging themselves by intended use and size, then color, before returning to their original placement only to repeat the process again. No, the problem was the alcohol.

Or rather, the lack of drinkable alcohol due to the tangled mess of seals and some additional magic preventing the opening of the containers. No amount of magic and strength seemed able to break through the failed unison raid's barrier on the guild's elixir. Tempers flared and things turned nasty as guild members repeatedly failed to free the alcohol from its seals and those bottles already opened proved undrinkable. Literally—it turned solid when the bottle was opened and when some intrepid members (led by Cana) attempted to stick their tongue down the neck of the bottle anyway, the mixture transformed into its various individual ingredients. It was demanded that Freed fix the problem he had a part in creating, not so much because it was the right thing to do but because there was alcohol that they couldn't drink! Master saved the poor mage by announcing only the teal-haired man's quick thinking kept all the alcohol from separating into hops, barley and various other grains and ingredients. There was a silent moment of relief and then the demand that he fix the problem. Unfortunately, he was unable to—the runes had been written in such a way, following his attempts to mitigate damages, that his taking them apart had an unpleasant consequence.

There was a loud outcry that he take the punishment—there was alcohol that needed help! Poor, poor, fuzzy-warmth inducing alcohol. Some may have shed tears and a young teenager may have groaned in embarrassment as he shuffled away from his sobbing father. The outcry came to an immediate halt when Freed explained the punishment was not so much for him—and demonstrated on the closest bottle.

"Not Johnny!" Cana sobbed, grabbing hold of the bottle and falling to her knees, only to have the bottle shake as the runes lit up. There was a weird sound heard within, some strange twitches as the contents within the bottled swirled and sputtered and even appeared to smoke. Then—nothing. All became calm. Cana eagerly opened the bottle, cackling when it remained liquid and prepared to take a swig only to freeze, nose twitching.

The guild, having experienced a brief surge of optimism, froze with her as she lowered her nose closer to the opening and took a long, expert sniff, frowning at her discovery. Finally, she lifted it to her lips, eyes suspicious and immediately spat it out.

"It's water!" she wailed and pandemonium broke. Freed had turned precious alcohol into water!

Since this was Fairy Tail, Levy was immediately summoned about an emergency of unimaginable, world-ending proportion and the wheezing, red-faced script mage's arrival, eyes fierce and ready to face Zeref, was heralded with cheers of a savior and her indignant drowned-out lecture upon discovery of the so-called emergency. Clearing his throat, Makarov decided it was time to step in once more.

Ultimately, this led to nearly the entire guild marching off, as one, towards the train station and then, Blue Pegasus (who had been unknowingly volunteered by Makarov to help as the unison raid's affects were likely to weaken with distance and Blue Pegasus boasted a certain archive mage who could only help this situation), carrying carts laden with the entirety of the guild's alcohol supply. Seated in one of the carts was Levy, whose sole responsibility during this trek would be to research and attempt to find a way to "fix" the alcohol and she was flanked in all directions by battle-ready mages who were determined no one and nothing distract the petite mage from her duty. As a preemptive strike, Gajeel was knocked out and laid in the cart with her where his near-entry to consciousness was mitigated by his desire to sleep away his motion sickness.

Since Freed and Bickslow were responsible for this travesty, they were to remain behind to fix their mess at the guild. Ostensibly, this was because they needed to learn a lesson but it was well-known but unspoken that once the alcohol supply was free of whatever cursed magic currently kept it away from eager lips, the mages would imbibe and no one thought it seemed fair that the two who created the mess (however much the guild would enjoy it later) should benefit in any way. It would take nearly five hours to untangle the magic preventing access to the liquor and six and a half hours before Master Bob remembered what a true Fairy Tail party meant and lost his enthusiasm at all the pretty boys currently in his guild. Eight hours would pass before anyone realized that somehow, the call for reinforcement to containing the party was being mistaken for invitations and twenty-two hours would pass before the last non-Fairy, save a certain Drunk Falcon, passed out in an alcohol-induced slumber. Fairy Tail was still going strong and would continue to do so for another six hours. It would take fifty-one hours and some odd minutes for the first Fairy Tail mage to stumble back into the guild where they promptly collapsed to sleep off the mother of all hangovers.

By this time, a certain silver-headed barmaid would have been alerted to the fact that she was not going to become an aunt and, as if to deepen the wound, returned to an empty guild and learned that nearly everyone was away for a huge party at Blue Pegasus. If she was saddened, the various demon takeovers she held were furious at the perceived slight and were not shy in making their temper known. One minute, the hungover bleary-eyed mages were looking at Mirajane in all their pitifulness, ready to cry tears of joy as she smiled sweetly and said she would be right back with her infamous hangover cure-all and the next, those same mages were shivering and some were actually crying as a black aura exuded from the suddenly cold-face of their resident cover girl, a malevolent smile curling her lips as she proceeded to place ice in the blender and then turned the machine on right next to their aching head.

With all this happening, it was no surprise no one noticed they were missing several mages until days later when the door slammed open from a fierce kick.

"We're back!" Natsu declared, grinning toothily. Beside him, Erza and Juvia stood, one straight-faced and the other eagerly scanning the room.

"Gray-sama! Juvia has returned to you! Gray-saaaamaaa!"

"Stripperella ain't here, rain woman!" the gruff iron dragon slayer's voice came somewhere from the back. "Oi, what's Pinky doing wit'chu? Oh fuck, is he free again?! Well, shit."

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Natsu growled, stalking over to the corner where the other slayer sat beside his exceed and a far too-engrossed in her reading bluenette.

Gajeel scoffed. "What do you think it means?" He growled right back, both men glaring at one another as their fisted arms met mid-air.

"B…boy's love!" Juvia excitedly whispered under her breath, voice breathy and almost a squeal if it weren't so quiet. Her hands clasped in front of her mouth as wide eyes followed the two slayers getting in each other's face until their foreheads were smashed against one another as they scowled and growled. Granted, Juvia's vision had them caressing each other and was filled with plenty of pastels, hazy imagery and sparkles. Lots and lots of sparkles. Beside her, Erza sent her a short confused look before turning to see what took the water mage's attention. Somehow, she found herself seeing Juvia's vision and blushed, stuttering her surprise.

"I...I...I had no idea. But what about Levy?"

Juvia's eyes widened and she forgot to breathe. "Love triangle!"

Mira gave a squeal that sounded suspiciously like "threesomes!" and "the babies!" Inevitably, a guild brawl was had that day and was more wild than it had been in some time. This was noted as it began to die out (Natsu was knocked out with a large bruise on his head courtesy of Erza and Gajeel was being lectured by Levy for tossing the unconscious Natsu onto the table, breaking Levy's hold on her book when the heavy body broke through the table, trapping Levy's reading and broken pieces of wood under him) and someone groaned out a "Shiiiit….who broke this table?!" Various other furniture, a couple of beams (structural, it turned out), and several windows had been broken and Elfman let out a shamed shout.

"We have disappointed Lucy again! That is not man at all!"

There was a brief pause as the guild looked down, as if awaiting a lecture and then, as one, the guild seemed to realize something.

"Say…" Max looked around, "has anyone seen Lucy lately?"

The only reply was a particularly loud snore from Natsu who, it turned out, was asleep.