PEACE IS OVERRATED; LIFE IS NOW
Chapter 2 – Who Knew
A/N: Title based on the Pink song "Who Knew".
I split this chapter into two because it became way too long. So this might feel incomplete, and that's because it kind of is, but it'll all come together when you read chapter 3, so bear with me.
And yes, chapter 2 and 3 are being updated together.
20 years to the day
It had been decades since she last stepped foot in the Armory's compound. Not that she was a regular fixture there when it was up and running. The Armory was always Ric's place; the Boarding School hers. After he retired, no one came forward to run the establishment. He had hoped his daughters would, but the paths they chose didn't lead them here. She maintained it for a while hoping someone would step up. No one ever did, until now when it had fallen into utter disrepair.
She didn't go in. She just stood there at its threshold; as memories she had pushed back to the far recesses of her mind fought valiantly to claw its way back to the surface.
To the naked eye, a lone figure amidst a towering ruin. But she was not alone. She was never alone. Grief, her constant companion stood beside her. For decades now Grief never left her, proving to be a most faithful entity. One she never asked for, but one she could never shake. Grief was there when she woke, held her when she slept and walked with her as she went about her day.
She let out an audible sigh as she mustered the strength to open the building's main door.
"Lost your set of keys?" A good-humored voice came from behind her. She turned around to see brown eyes staring back at her, brown eyes with a tinge of imp in them. "Good news is that those doors look like they are one breeze away from coming off altogether"
He didn't wait for her to respond, "Or it could be bad news, depending on how much you treasure those doors" He said letting out an awkward short laugh.
She continued to stare at the happy stranger, unsure as to how to respond.
"I'm Caleb, by the way. Caleb Jefferson the third if we are going into specifics" He said holding his hand out. "You must be Caroline Forbes"
"Yes. Hi" She said shaking his hand and feeling remarkable obtuse. Its like human interaction was lost on her. Her friend Grief was probably to blame.
"Shall we?" Caleb asked indicating that they go inside.
"Yes. Umm.. this way"
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The Armory – Present Day
"Caroline!" Stefan rushed to her side and he watched Caleb cradle her in his arms.
Her extremities began to grey as panic rose within him.
"Maya?" Caleb beckoned helplessly as a red head took her hand in hers.
The room rang deathly silent as all eyes remained on the witch. Caroline's skin returned back to normal after a time.
"Piggyback riding back to life is risky, stranger", Maya addressed Stefan in an icy tone. His eyes strayed back to the love of his life.
"Is she going to be okay?" Stefan asked as Caleb too looked to Mila, his eyes asking the same question.
"She'll be fine. Let her rest"
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Their footsteps echoed within the dilapidated walls of the Armory building. She scoffed inwardly as she looked around what could be best described as rubble. If an artist were to put to canvas a description of her heart, this would be it. Forlorn, abandoned, run down, four walls barely holding up a dying building, with a gaping hole for a roof and so dark that even the stars refused to come out from behind their dark shroud.
"This is great!" Caleb's excited voice echoed through the wreckage.
"Huh?"
"I mean, yeah it needs work. A LOT of work. But when its done, its going to be GREAT!" He beamed.
She stared up at the sky that shouldn't have been visible from the inside. She remembered a time when she was the one to look at the world through rose tinted glasses. Now all she saw was a hole in the ceiling.
"We can fix that you know!" Caleb said as he caught her looking up. "That's the easy part."
"Yeah? What's the difficult part?"
"The walls" He said looking around.
"I don't follow"
"Breaking them down without collapsing the building." He said seriously.
"Excuse me?" She said feeling a tug at her heart.
"hmmm?"
"You said you wanted to restore the place not raze its walls to the ground" She said, her voice growing shriller with each syllable.
"Well restore is a," he made a floundering action with his hand.
"Is a what? I don't speak this language" She said comically imitating his action.
He laughed out loud at that. She continued to stare him down.
"When I said restore I meant it loosely. I meant it more like bring the place up to its potential. Which right now means tearing some of her walls down"
"Her walls" Caroline said motioning to the walls surrounding them, "Are fine."
"These walls cannot accommodate more than its already housing."
"So?"
"So that's a problem."
"Well, I don't give you permission to bring them down" she said adamantly.
"I imagine this place holds a few memories?" He asked softly.
Caroline didn't hear him. She stared at the spot where her dead husband had proposed for the second time. In fact, as fate would have it, she was standing exactly where she stood that day when she had heard his knock on the door.
"Hey", he grazed her arm. "You okay?"
She sighed. "Look, I know I haven't been the best caretaker. Not even close. But this is important to me. It's the last of the things I need to take care of before I can… move on"
"Move on?" he asked. "You mean die?" he scoffed almost.
"What?" That brought her crashing back from n emotional trip down memory lane.
"I'm guessing this is your first turn of the century? Everyone you have ever loved or known are probably dead by now and you, are having one hell of an existential crisis"
"That is not your concern" She said fuming.
"You're right. It's not. But this place is. I have five warehouses full of magical artifacts and books and things I cannot perceive that will fall into ruin, much like this building, if its not housed properly. And, I don't know whether you noticed, but the last supernatural war took out the original vampires-"
"I know, I heard about the war and its casualties." She cut him off.
"Which is why we need this safe house. It's the only thing ensuring our survival to the next century. Whether you plan on being alive for it or not"
She looked pensive.
"Look-" He started again to try put things in perspective.
"I get it!" She snapped. "Big picture and all that" She said begrudgingly.
"So do I have permission to do as I please?"
"She's all yours" She said handing him the key and turning around to walk away.
"Wait!" He called out after her. "Why don't you stay? Help out? I really could use the help, plus I'm not too good with paint and well, interiors in general and I have a feeling you would be better at it" he asked sincerely.
"I don't know anything about construction" Caroline replied skeptically. "I would probably just be in your way, slow you down. Probably take you forever to get to the interiors with me around"
"So?" He asked smiling as he shoved his hands in his pocket. "I got forever. And so do you, technically"
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Present Day
Caleb laid her down gently on their bed, placed the blanket over her and sat beside her
"I didn't know" Stefan said from the doorway.
"Yeah I know", Caleb said calmly. "She'll be fine. You heard Maya, she'll wake up in a few hours"
Stefan tried to calm his poor human heart. Surely it would give away if it kept beating this fast.
"You seem pretty calm for a guy whose vampire girlfriend collapsed out of supernatural exhaustion" He told Caleb who wouldn't take his eyes off Caroline. It bothered him to say the least.
Caleb didn't acknowledge his words.
"How long have you guys been together?" He asked.
"Why'd you do it?" He asked looking him in the eye; ignoring Stefan's question.
Stefan looked down, "You probably think I'm being selfish"
"Yeah the thought did cross my mind"
"You would have done the same thing had you been in my shoes" He accused him.
"No. I would have let her go knowing she's happy without me"
Stefan gulped the lump in his throat. She really did mean it when she said she was happy. He knew Caleb. He was a good guy and he really did seem to love her.
"You should maybe let her rest." Caleb suggested.
Stefan agreed.
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9 months in since the first time Caroline and Caleb met
"You're late" He said over the construction noise as he heard her walk in.
"I had an errand to run" Caroline chirped.
He looked up to see her holding what looked like brand new headgear.
"That's new." He said pointing to her crew helmet.
She beamed.
"A rather jarring shade of pink wouldn't you say?" He said comically rubbing his eyes. "It's alright, don't apologize, my vampire vision will return soon," He mocked her. "Might take a few days to see color again though"
She stuck her tongue out at him. "It's cute." She declared as she put it on.
He shook her head. The gear was atrocious. But the head it adorned was precious. So were the golden locks that hung around the ugly color. And the being who the locks belonged to? She was really something else.
"Nice hat Caroline!" One of his construction workers said smiling.
"Thank you Ben!" She said a flashed Caleb a smug smile.
She had certainly come a long way from the depressed soul that he had met six months ago. There were days when her light shone so bright she was a whole other person. But most days he could see it – the ghosts of her past haunting her steps.
"What?" Caroline asked; probably at the way he was staring at her right then.
"That hat is an abomination." He said looking away.
Caroline scowled and sat down facing the doorway.
"I was thinking," She began.
"The walls are coming down Caroline!" He said sternly. He had lost track of the number of times they had had the same damn discussion. She certainly didn't give up easily.
"Fine" She said. There was finality in the way she said it.
She sighed, eyes still fixed at the threshold.
"What are you thinking?" He asked after she went quiet for an unusually long period of time.
"You remember back when we first met and you implied that I would maybe kill myself?"
"What about it?" Caleb asked as he continued to look at his blue print.
"I would never do that." She said.
"Mmmhhmmmm"
"You don't believe me?" She asked
"I didn't say that" He said casually.
Well, I'm not a quitter, so." She sounded offended almost.
"hhmmmmm"
"What hmmmm?"
"What's so special about the doorway?" He asked.
She looked at him curiously. "What's that gotta do with anything?"
"You always stare at it, like you expect someone to walk in any minute and save you from yourself"
"Promises were made by that doorway" She said vaguely.
"By the husband you survived I presume?" He asked
She gave him a small forlorn smile.
"Who was he?"
She turned around to look at him. This was the first time he had really pried into her personal life. Sure, he knew about her kids and Ric, the guy who ran this place, a witchy best friend named Bonnie, who was also dead. But she kept the details pertaining to the wedding band on her finger close to her heart and never parted with them.
"Oh come on, we have been over almost every significant detail of my life, is it crazy that I want to know about your dead husband?" He asked.
"Fine" She said reluctantly, "His name was Stefan Salvatore-"
"Stefan Salvatore? Green eyes, dark hair, burdened soul? Had a douche for a brother who he thought the world of?" He cut her off.
"You knew him?"
"Stefan? Yes. The brother? No. Damien was it?" He asked trying his best to remember the name.
"Damon." Caroline corrected him. "And yeah he was a douche. But he died a good man" She said kindly.
Caleb rubbed his hands over his face and sighed.
"You married Stefan Salvatore!" He remarked in utter surprise. "Last I saw him he was headed home, wherever that was, to pay his respects at his mothers grave. Never heard from him since."
"Mystic Falls. He came home to Mystic Falls and stayed," Caroline informed him.
"Stayed for you?" He asked.
"Hardly!" Caroline said.
"Well?"
"It's a really really long story. Would probably take up the whole day and then some" She said dismissively,
"Okay", He nodded.
"GUYS!" He yelled to grab the attention of his construction crew "Take the rest of the day off, don't worry, you will all get full pay! I'll see you guys tomorrow!"
"What are you doing?" Caroline asked bewildered.
"Clearing my day."
"You do realize there's no happy ending to this story right?" She asked incredulously.
"Yeah I know. I got Bourbon stashed in my car to help with that"
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They sat with their backs to the wall, side by side, shoulders touching, each sipping at their own bottle of bourbon.
"Wow! Stefan Salvatore actually found –the one!" Caleb said incredulously.
"Huh?"
"He had mentioned it once or twice. I thought it was stupid, this notion that there's just one person in the whole world that you are meant to love and be loved by in return. But I guess you were it for him"
"Was I?" she asked skeptically. He wasn't sure if it was her or the liquor talking.
"What do you mean? He married you!"
"Yeah and decided to die on our wedding day!" She practically yelled. "Why would he do that if he had been searching for me his whole damn vampire life? Why would he throw it all away?" She shook her head and took a long sip. "Maybe if he had found the one he wouldn't have let himself die" She said a tear rolling down her flushed cheeks.
"That's just a century of grief talking, more than a century. There is no truth to it, so don't you ever try to believe it."
She sighed.
"Listen to me," He said taking her hand in hers, " when I met Stefan he was going through a pretty terrific guilt spiral, the likes of which I haven't seen before or since. I was working as a paramedic at the time and I convinced him to give it a shot, to help him work through the guilt. To show him that he can make up for the bad by doing Good. And he did."
She turned to look at him. She looked so lost.
"Stefan was a great guy. He had the heart of a hero, but he was also very damaged. Him dying, that wasn't about you. That was him convinced that he wasn't worth it." He said sincerely.
"Well maybe if-"
"No," Caleb cut him off. "There is only so much you can do to help. There's only so much anyone can do."
Caroline looked away and stared ahead.
"Let him go" Caleb begged.
"What?"
He shook his head and moved to face her. "You wanna know the secret to living an immortal life? It has nothing to do with controlling your vampirism like you think."
Caroline's forehead creased in concentration.
"You need to learn to let people go. Know that people enter your immortal life temporarily. They live their life, die and find peace. And when their time is done, you need to move on, or live your life burdened with their loss. You think you can handle it, but you can't. I have lived for over 700 years and I have seen vampires struggle and lose their struggle. I can always spot the signs of an immortal that's not going to survive." He said looking at her woefully.
Caroline looked down at her wedding band.
"Just like I know that wedding band has gotten heavier over the past few decades."
Caroline's eyes shot up at that. He knew he had hit the nail right on the head.
"Stefan never said anything about-"
"Stefan never had to live with the knowledge that every family member was dead." Caleb said gently. "No matter who he lost along the way, his brother was out there, alive. A consolation most of us immortals don't have."
"If you don't let him go, you'll reach a point where you won't be able to go on anymore and like countless before you, you'll take off your ring in utter desperation and let the sun consume you."
Caroline stared at him, tears marring her blue orbs.
"And that would be a real shame" He said as he wiped the tear drops that trickled down the rim of her eyes.
"For whom? All my friends and immediate family are dead already." She asked, her voice laced with resignation.
"For the world, for the hundreds, maybe thousands of people your life would have touched had you lived forever?" He said taking her hand and leaning back against the wall again.
"They can't miss what they never had." She said somberly.
"I'd miss you" He said, his voice coarse with desperation.
"You'll live" She said placing her head on his shoulders.
"He's at peace. Haven't you suffered enough? Is it such a bad thing to choose to be happy?"
"I don't think I know how to let him go", She said squeezing his hand and closing her eyes and willing the tears to stop.
"Try ." He said resting his head on hers.
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Present Day
He dove into her subconscious as soon as Stefan left the room.
"You're okay," He told her the moment he saw her.
"And Stefan?" She asked without skipping a beat.
Caleb didn't say anything.
"Caleb, he just came back to life after 150 years of being dead." She said. "He's probably freaking out"
"Or maybe he's not" He shrugged not making eye contact.
Caroline folded her arms across her chest, a sure sign that she was beginning to get worked up.
"He's not a child. I'm sure he's fine", Caleb said petulantly.
"I know this is not what you expected. I didn't think this would happen, or could happen even"
"If you knew, would you have wanted this?" Caleb asked softly.
"No, of course not." Caroline said firmly. "He had found peace. I wouldn't have asked him to give that up for anything"
Caleb nodded. He moved to slip his hands around her waist. "Don't worry about a thing. Just, gather your strength and come back to me."
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . To Be Continued . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .