PEACE IS OVERRATED; LIFE IS NOW
Chapter 3 – Breakaway
20 years ago
"Okay I'm ready" Caroline declared, poised to swing the sledgehammer in her hand.
"Finally!" Caleb sounded exhausted.
"Don't do that!" Caroline said sounding irate.
"What?" Caleb retorted.
"This is just a stupid building to you. But to me?" She dropped the sledgehammer and pointed to a nearly wall, "See this wall, my kids drew on it and was grounded for two whole weeks. No video games, no chocolate, no magic"
"Caroline-"
"And this wall here, Josie broke her tooth here and that doorway… well.."
"I know. I'm sorry. I did not mean to minimize your struggle"
Caroline sighed and looked away.
"We can do this another day if you-"
"No. Lets just.. rip off the band-aid"
"Okay" He said somberly as he walked over to pick up his sledgehammer.
"So-" He started only to be cut off by Caroline slamming her sledgehammer into the wall beside her.
"Wait, no, stop!" He yelled as he saw the hole in the wall; in the wrong wall.
"That kinda felt good", She said oblivious to Caleb yelling and hit the wall again, making the hole bigger than before.
"OH MY GOD! STOP!" He yelled and stood between her and the wall.
"What? Why?" She asked sounding intoxicated.
"BECAUSE YOU'RE BREAKING DOWN THE WRONG WALL!" He screamed sounding crazed.
"No, I checked the plan" Caroline said pointing at the paper on the table behind her.
Caleb moved to the table and flipped the plan over, "You were looking at it the wrong way" He said rubbing his temple.
"Oh!" Caroline exclaimed and burst out in giggles.
"I need to sit down" Caleb said grabbing a chair.
He heard another crash just as soon as he sat down.
"OH MY GOD CAROLINE, STOP!"
"What? It's broken anyway! Lets bring down this wall instead!"
"IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY!" He said marching up to her and grabbing her sledgehammer. "You are no longer allowed to use this"
"You're being-"
"I'M BEING PERFECTLY REASONABLE AND YOU NEED TO STEP AWAY FROM THE HEAVY EQUIPMENT!"
"Ok fine, I'm sorry. We'll just.. I donno.. turn this into a window" she said trying to salvage the situation.
Caleb didn't look impressed. "I'm going to lose my mind," He muttered
"What?" Caroline asked referring to his exasperated expression.
"And become a crazy person just like you" He continued to mutter like he had come unhinged.
"CAAALEB" Caroline beckoned her attention to her idea of converting the hole into a window.
Caleb peered in the hole in the wall.
"Caroline?"
"hmmm"
"Windows are supposed to look to the outside." He said grimly.
Caroline looked through the hole in the wall to see another room.
"Not all windows have to look out" Caroline suggested.
"Yeah they kinda do"
"Well our eyes are windows to our SOULS so that's basically looking inward rather than outward"
"You lost me!"
"So this window is like looking inside into the soul of the building"
"Buildings don't have souls" He said, gritting his teeth.
"Well.. this one could"
Caleb looked at her like she was a crazy person. He then looked in the hole again. "Ugly soul" He cringed looking at the debris.
Caroline burst out laughing.
"I'm never doing construction with you" Caleb said still as if in a daze. Caroline continued to laugh.
"Stop laughing. This is a disaster! Window to the soul my ass"
Caroline doubled over laughing.
"Incidentally my ass looks way better than this soul." He said looking at the area the hole in the wall showcased.
"A baboon's ass looks better than that" She said still laughing.
That got Caleb cracking up.
"We'll fix it up," Caroline said piping down.
"My ass?"
"No, the soul"
Caleb shook his head.
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He didn't know where to go. New place, new century and the only person he wanted to see was unconscious and probably didn't even want him around.
"Hey!" He heard a voice greet him. He recognized her - Maya the witch who helped Caroline.
"Hi, I was just uh.."
"Would you like a tour?" She asked sweetly.
"I don't want to be a bother," He said hesitantly.
"You wont. Sorry I was cold before. I didn't recognize you in the chaos."
Stefan frowned. Why would she recognize him? He was dead for a century and a half. Maya seemed to have picked up on his confusion.
"I grew up in the Salvatore Boarding School. There's a portrait of you and your brother in the study. That was your home wasn't it?"
"Yeah. Is that how you know Caroline?" Stefan enquired. Finally something familiar he could converse about.
"Oh, no. Caroline had moved on from the place long before I went there." Maya informed him, "I tracked her down years later and joined her here" She explained. "Sorry this must be really weird for you." She added apologetically.
Stefan gave her a tight-lipped smile. He had just come back to life after 150 years of being dead. His wife had moved on was dating his old long lost friend and he was still madly in love with her. Weird didn't begin to describe what he was feeling.
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10 Years Ago
"Hello? Anybody home?" Maya called out to no one in particular.
"Hi." Caroline emerged, Caleb following right behind her. "We are not up and running yet.." She said.
"Yeah I know, I uh.. I was hoping to give you a lending hand, help you set up and run the place maybe? If that's alright with you?"
"oh..uh.." Caroline was taken aback.
"I'm Maya, I went to the school you had set up. It changed my life. I honestly wouldn't be here if it wasn't for that school" She said smiling gratefully. "I'd really like to help in any way I can"
"And we would greatly appreciate the help" Caleb said, "I'm Caleb. I really hope you like cataloging!"
"Because he doesn't" Caroline quipped in "Welcome to the Armory," Caroline continued cheerfully, "The living quarters are that way. Pick any room you like"
"Thanks. This place is quite remarkable" Maya said in awe.
Caleb smiled smugly at Caroline, who rolled her eyes at him.
"Is that the original doorway?" She asked pointing to the entrance.
"Yeah.. we..kept it." Caleb told her.
"Good choice, it gives the place great character"
It was Caroline's turn to smile smugly at Caleb as he rolled her eyes at her.
"Would you like a tour?" Caroline asked sounding chipper.
"Yes please!"
"Follow me"
Caleb followed the two as they went from room to room marveling the restoration and the architecture.
"That's weird" Maya said pointing to Caroline's "accidental" window. "This window opens to another room" She said sounding confused.
"It's a metaphorical window to the soul"
"I don't get it"
Nobody gets it, Caleb thought to himself.
"You know how your eyes are a window to your soul - the saying?"
"uhuh"
"Well, this is a window that opens up to the soul of the building"
Caleb rubbed his eyes in embarrassment.
"New concept?" Maya asked still confused.
"Very," Caroline said smiling awkwardly.
"Where's it borrowed from?" Maya asked inquisitively.
"Europe?" Caroline said digging herself deeper into a hole.
"Which part? I was there for a few months and I didn't really come across anything like this"
"Well.. its more like… Australia.. have you eh. . been to Australia?"
"Oh no I haven't"
"Well there you go. Soul windows are big there.. down under…in some, small architectural communities.." She rambled.
"Hmmmm. You learn something new everyday" She said still sounding skeptical. "You know I think I'll go find a room and freshen up"
"Great! We'll be.. around.." Caroline replied as Maya wandered off to find a room for herself.
"Wow!" Caleb said shaking his head slowly as if in a daze. "That's by far the most embarrassing thing I've witnessed in 700 years"
"You could have helped you know" Caroline scowled.
"OH no! You will never catch me repeating any of that, not even under pain of death!"
"If you just-"
"This window soul shit isn't working Care and you sound crazy trying to sell it!" Caleb said honestly.
"I do not!"
"Oh yes you do!" He declared. "Throw in that wedding band and you are certifiable!" He muttered.
"What's my wedding band gotta do with anything? I wear the wedding band because I'm married" Caroline said offended that he would bring it up.
"You're not married!" He blurted out. "You're widowed. There's a difference. You have been widowed for nearly a hundred and fifty years and that band is you refusing to live your life"
"How would you know, you've never been married" She yelled.
"Neither have you" He snapped
"I distinctly remember getting married" She fumed.
"You had a wedding. That's not a marriage. You live a marriage, which you never got a chance to. Holding on to what could have been is not going to change that. And making a window out to be something its not is not going to make it special." Caleb said walking away.
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"Getting the grand tour in I see" Caleb said as he came across Stefan and Maya.
"Almost done!" Maya said beaming. He was grateful she had taken him out of his hands for a little while. Entertaining his girl friend's dead husband come to life wasn't how he had planned to spend the evening.
"Alondra is looking for you, by the way," Caleb informed Maya.
"She's back?"
Caleb nodded gravely. The mood suddenly changed and there was tension in the air.
"You should go," Caleb told her.
"I'll see you around Stefan" Maya waved as she walked away.
"Why aren't you avoiding me?" Stefan asked confused as he continued to look around.
Caleb shoved his hands into his pocket.
"Caroline asked you to babysit me didn't she?" Stefan asked.
"Something like that." Caleb said scratching the back of his head.
"I see you took to architecture rather well," Stefan commented. "Its really impressive what you've done to the place." Stefan told Caleb.
"Well, I had help," He said graciously.
"Is that a window?" Stefan asked looking confused. "Weird placement"
Caleb sighed. He hadn't heard that question in years and he was hoping never to be the receiving end of it.
"It's a… new… concept" Caleb said half heartedly.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah it's a metaphorical eye," He paused, "Because eyes are a window to one's soul, so this window opens inward.. to the buildings soul" He said trying very hard not to roll his eyes at the words coming out of his mouth.
Stefan stared at him with a blank expression. "That's… umm. . . that's a thing now?"
"Yes, it's a thing, You know what, architecture, much like literally everything else on this planet has moved forward leaps and bounds since you were dead, I'll get you a book, you can catch up" The words tumbled out of his mouth rapidly, his irate disposition giving it a edge that did not go unnoticed.
Stefan's footsteps suddenly slowed down as they came in clear view of the doorway. He stared at it, his heart sinking further into the dark abyss the longer he looked. He had proposed to Caroline for the second time behind those doors. He was supposed to grow old with her, raise her kids and grandkids and prove to her everyday how much he loved her. He never got the chance to do any of it. And here he was over a lifetime later, trying to somehow sew the pieces of a life he had long ago ripped to shreds. What exactly was he hoping he would achieve, he wondered to himself.
Caleb took a deep breath. He thought he could do this, but turned out that he couldn't. No shame in admitting failure. Caroline would understand. Stefan staring at the spot where he proposed, much like how Caroline used to sit and look at it wistfully for hours, was the last straw. He needed to be far away from Stefan Salvatore or he'd be forced to wonder if his relationship with Caroline was in jeopardy.
"You wanna tell me what chaos brought Caroline to the dead?" Stefan asked before Caleb could excuse himself. No one had deemed it necessary for him to know what was going on. In the past few hours he noticed people going about with urgency, visibly worried. Something was brewing. He just didn't know what.
"Don't worry about it." Caleb said dismissively. "It has nothing to do with you or the Salvatore clan"
"Well Caroline is involved, which makes it everything to do with me" Stefan said slightly annoyed.
Caleb shook his head. "No it doesn't. You died. She's not your wife. She's not your fiancé or you girl friend. You don't get to walk around like she's yours to protect. Especially after how you left her broken."
"Look, I know it must have been hard for her, I'm in no way implying-"
"Hard? You have no idea." Caleb scoffed walking away.
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The winter sky had never before felt so cold or lonely as that day as she stood on the wide, empty roof, deathly still, an eerie silence about her. It felt like time had come to a stand still as thousands of stars bore witness to her grief, just as they did over a century ago, on a lonely highway as a bride bid farewell to her husband on her wedding day.
"You're an optimist. You want to believe anything's possible" His words echoed in her head. Well, the universe sure showed her. Some things were just not meant to be, like her and Stefan having a modicum of happiness.
She shook her head. The tears where supposed to stop, that was the promise of time. Yet another promise laid waste by the universe.
Could he see her, she wondered. Did he want to?
"Caroline?" She heard Caleb enter the roof. "Come inside, its freezing out here" She could hear his teeth clatter in the cold. She didn't respond.
"I'm sorry" She heard him sigh. "That was insensitive and disrespectful. I shouldn't have said anything. It's not my place. I don't know what came over me, but it wont happen again" He said sincerely.
"Care?" He beckoned when she didn't respond.
"You were not wrong" A coarse whisper escaped her, betraying her emotional state of upheaval.
"Hey" He said reaching for her arm.
"I need to let him go. I won't survive if I don't" She stuttered the words out as she looked at her wedding band.
"I thought it would get better. It was supposed to get better" She wept, her voice accusatory almost at the powers that be.
Strong arms gripped her as she continued to lament her loss. "He was supposed to live. Grow old. Help me raise the girls and their kids," She wept as her grief threatened to choke the breath out of her. "He wasn't there when the girls graduated or when they got married or when their kids were born. He wasn't there for any of it. And I'm supposed to just let him go when I didn't even get a day with him" She was inconsolable.
"I'm sorry" Caleb whispered as his own voice was consumed by the grief he felt for her. "I'm so sorry this happened to you." Was all he could muster.
"Maybe if he had lived a human life I'd have been able to let him go knowing he finally got to live the life he wanted. But this . . ." She said shaking her head softly at the stars.
"He's at peace," Caleb tried to console her. "He's no longer in pain. There's no more guilt. He's finally unburdened. That's not the worst thing, right?" He asked as blue eyes searched his for answers. "So let him go knowing he's okay. Let him go so you can be"
"I told him I'd love him forever" She wept.
"And you will" Caleb said as he tried to wipe away her tears. "A part of you will always love him. Nothing's going to change that. But if you hold on to him so tight, you will drown."
"I know" She nodded as she tried in vain to steady her breathing.
She took a deep breath and reached for her ring.
"Wait" Caleb stayed her hand. She looked at him perplexed at his sudden change in demeanor. "Favorite Stefan Salvatore memory" He asked her.
"Take your time." He smiled back. "I imagine there are a lot many to choose from."
She smiled; the tears felt lighter all of a sudden.
"When he proposed. The first time." She said beaming. "He was so happy, he couldn't stop smiling." She said, her voice thick with tears.
"And you?" He asked, "Were you happy?"
"Deliriously happy"
"Then that's how you're gonna remember him forever. Happy and smiling," He said clutching her face.
She nodded.
The stars eventually faded and gave way to light, but not before they saw her take the ring off, cry till she fell asleep and looked on as he carried her inside.
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7 years ago
"You should go out" Caleb declared as the gang sat around cataloging the last warehouse full of books and artifacts.
"Huh?" Caroline was barely listening.
"We just went out yesterday", Alondra reminded him. She had joined them at the Armory a few years back, along with Josh, the last of the New Orleans clan.
"Not like that" Caleb said.
"Not like what?" Caroline asked.
"You were Maya's wing man all night"
"So?"
"You're a wing man every night"
"I don't follow," Caroline said.
"Maybe you should.. go on a date . . you know.. Get back out there"
Caroline burst out laughing.
"Something funny?"
"That ship has sailed buddy! I don't think it's happening again"
"Why? You some special kinda weird only Stefan Salvatore can love?" He asked feeling offended almost that she thought she couldn't find love again.
Caroline rolled her eyes and went back to looking at the artifact she had been perusing.
"I could love you" Caleb blurted. "I mean. . . I'm just saying that lots of people could love you.. not all at once preferably,.. but you know, you are.. not.. unlovable. At all. You are very likeable and lovable. If that's why you think .. that the ship has sailed." He could feel beads of sweat forming on his brow line.
"Please stop talking" Alondra whispered.
"I just meant you shouldn't close yourself off to new possibilities" he said as he got up and left so he wouldn't embarrass himself further.
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"Need some help?" Caroline asked Caleb as he cleaned up after the party they had just had in their newly decorated living space. The Armory would be run by supernaturals from here on out, so it made sense to have a wing dedicated to living spaces. Supernaturals were known to be nomads after all.
"Done packing?" He asked trying his best to sound casual.
"Almost" She said.
"Will you come back?" He asked.
"Umm. I hope so. will you be here?"
"Yeah. I plan to stick around for a while at least"
"Wow! Putting down roots. Not something you do usually"
"I guess there's a first time for everything" He said softly. "Did you decide your first stop?"
"Amsterdam" She said confidently.
"Good choice" He said nodding slightly. "Look, uh, wherever you go, if you need anything, you let me know okay? I have friends in almost every corner of the globe. So…"
"I think I should be fine"
"Yeah you will.." He said inching closer to her involuntarily.
"Maya will miss having you as a wing man though" He said light heartedly.
Caroline chuckled softly.
"And uh.. I think I saw Josh cry when you said you were leaving," He teased.
Caroline pouted to feign sadness.
"Alondra… she.. uh.. will miss her TV show buddy" He said standing inches away from her.
"And I,." He said looking into the blue orbs he had gone accustomed to seeing everyday for years now. He knew he had feelings for her. May even be in love with her. But she was so guarded that he couldn't be sure if he felt anything for him.
"You?" She asked; eyes wide in anticipation.
He leaned forward and kissed her without warning. He felt her breath hitch as he took her lips in his. He pulled away softly, hands still holding her waist, unsure as to what her reaction would be.
"I had to," he murmured. "If I didn't, I would have regretted it probably forever and I don't like regrets." He explained himself
Her forehead creased ever so slightly.
"Are you mad?" He asked, heart beginning to pound loudly in his chest. What if she never spoke to him ever again?
He paused to give her a minute to process.
"Say something?" He begged.
She lunged forward and kissed him back. He smiled as their kiss deepened.
. . . . . . .
"Caroline?" He whispered into her ear as he held her tight.
"Hmmm" She was half asleep in his arms.
"I'd really like it if you didn't leave"
She turned around to face him. He looked nervous.
"Sounds like a plan" she smiled.
He smiled and leaned in to kiss her.
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"Hey" He greeted her the moment her eyes opened.
She sighed.
"I had a bottle ready. Figured you'd be nostalgic and upset after seeing Stefan up there. We were going to commiserate and you were gonna feel better and I was going to crack one of those stupid jokes with the angel reference, you know, about whether it hurt when you fell down from heaven?"
She snorted a laugh despite the situation.
"You okay?" He asked softly.
"I don't know," She mumbled. "Save the bottle." She said climbing out of bed.
She grabbed a jacked from the closet.
"Maybe you should wait till morning?" He suggested. Was it out of concern or jealousy? He couldn't tell. Maybe it was both.
"No I should see him now" She said heading to the door. "Don't wait up. I'll wake you if I need you" she said as she closed the door behind her.
. . . .
He couldn't bring himself to sleep. What if he woke up and he wasn't really here and this was all just a dream. It would feel right only after he met her. He would hold her and he'd know that he was alive.
He sighed. Emotions were dulled so to speak when he was at peace. Peace being the primary feeling for everyone and any feeling that was contradictory to peace was shut down rather effectively. They just didn't feel it. So it was quite the contrast when he came alive, similar to flipping ones humanity switch, but not quite the same, just the closest comparison he could think of. The rush of emotion was something he was still grappling with. It had only been half a day since he came back to life after all. In a span of hours he felt pain, sorrow, loneliness, anger, jealousy, hate, love –
"Stefan?" he heard Caroline knock at his door. And suddenly, he was home.
He leaped to open the door and engulfed her in his arms.
"You're okay" he sighed in relief. He felt her hug him tighter. Everything he had been feeling since he came back to life felt worth it. She was here. She was safe.
She broke the hug after what felt like an eternity.
They were both crying and trying to console each other at the same time.
"This isn't working" she laughed in between a sob, referring to their attempt to calm each other's tears away. He closed his eyes and brought his forehead to hers and took a deep breath. He felt her fists tighten against his shirt.
"I cant believe you're actually here," Caroline said finally as she gathered herself. Her voice felt so small and distant, like that of a frightened child, lost and alone in the world.
He exhaled sharply. "I'm not sure I believe it either," He said not taking his eyes off her. What if he blinked and she disappeared. The universe had never been known to be kind to them; why would things be any different now.
"This must be weird for you. . . how are you?" She asked full of concern. His heart sweet ten fold. Two lifetimes later and she was still the same Caroline, how he longed to kiss her and tell her he would be perfect as long as she was with him.
"Overwhelmed" He said.
"Is there something I can do?"
He smiled and placed a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "Good overwhelmed" he reassured her.
She smiled slightly.
"I know me being here complicates things for you" He said. He yearned to talk to her. He wanted to talk all night and all day and then some, till there he was all caught up with her life and she knew for a fact that he was here on Earth for her.
"It doesn't have to be complicated" She said softly.
Stefan's forehead creased as Caroline stepped back.
"Listen to me" She said as she took his hand and sat at the edge of the bed. Stefan followed suit.
"You remember when you turned human and I told you that you needed to figure out who you were and what you were going to do?"
"Yeah" Stefan said hesitantly, unsure of where this was going.
"Well, you never got the chance to back then, but you do now." She said sounding hopeful. "And things are different from last time. Better in fact. You don't have your past weighing you down. You already paid your dues. No guilt, nothing to atone for. No attachments to consider."
"Well, I wouldn't say no attachments" He said feeling hurt that she would say it.
"Stefan, it's like you never were a vampire. This is a clean slate. A reset. Something people wish they could have, but never get. And you have it. A chance to live the human life you have always wanted without any of the supernatural baggage you've had to carry for most of your life. The cure is not in your system so you don't have to sorry about someone taking it out and you dying. You can be what you want to be, live where you want to live, find the perfect girl, get married, have kids, watch them grow-"
"Caroline, stop" He said grabbing her hands. This was not what he came back to life for.
"Stefan, this is a miracle. Don't let it go to waste."
"What about you? Where are you in this life I'm supposed to want?" He asked feeling dejected.
"I don't know. Depends on how much supernatural influence you want in your life I suppose" She replied.
He shook his head.
"Just think about it," She begged. "And whatever you decide to do, we will help you in every way possible"
WE
He hated that word.
Truth was that he didn't need to think about it. He wasn't confused or conflicted. He knew what he wanted and it had everything to do with her and nothing to do with a life that didn't include her.
"I should go, it's really late" she said getting up to leave.
"Talk in the morning?" He asked.
"Of course"
"Caroline" He called out to her while grabbing her hand. He hated watching her leave. She stopped at her tracks and looked at him with anticipation.
I love you.
You're the reason I'm here.
I don't want you to leave.
"Good night" He said softly.
"Good Night, Stefan."
. . . . . .
"You're still up" Caroline commented as she entered the room.
"Well? What's the verdict?" Caleb asked looking down.
"What do you mean?" She asked.
"Look, I know this must be hard for you, having him back. I'll understand if you want me to step back, give you space"
"Yeah? You'd do that?" Caroline asked moving close to him.
"Yeah, I would" He said hugging her lightly.
"Well, I'd really like it if you didn't leave" She said softly.
He smiled. She leaned in for a kiss; he didn't hesitate.
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A/N: Caleb and Caroline's history was necessary for the story. Sorry it took up so much space. But you wouldn't be caught up effectively with Caroline's life without Stefan and Caleb's significance in her life had I not explained it in so many words.
This is primarily a Caroline Forbes fanfic, so her character will take prominence over canon ships.
For Steroline fans – next chapter will be Steroline heavy, with flashbacks and present day conversations about their potential future.
Rest assured, they are both at very different places right now emotionally, so it won't exactly be the smoothest ride.
Thank you for reading. I'll update sometime next week.