Coruscant-Jedi Temple

Later that day Tenel Ka received a message from her security chief requesting a leave of absence to attend to some security matters. She was surprised. This could only mean Commander Tavik was successful in getting Master Tantiss to talk. Once again she underestimated her security chief. She should know better by now; over the last couple years he has proven to be quite resourceful and extremely well connected with the military and intelligence communities of both the Empire and Galactic Alliance.

She called down to the infirmary and was told by Jacen's cousin that he was released and could be found in his quarters. Accompanied by Sergeant Rycus, she made her way to her husband's apartment. She wasn't sure how she was going to break the news to him about their marriage and child, but she knew the longer she waited the more difficult the situation would become.

She arrived and pushed the door chime to Jacen's living quarters. After a few moments Jacen came to the entry. He smiled broadly upon seeing her and she felt her knees go weak at the sight of his boyish grin. She hadn't seen him so relaxed and happy for years. Their married life was full of passion, but there was always an undercurrent of disappointment and sadness emanating from Jacen. He wanted to be a happy intact family but that was something he was always denied.

"Hello Jacen," she said softly. "Can I come in?"

He stared at her dumbstruck for a second before he stood aside and motioned for her to enter. "Oh, yes…please come in."

Tenel Ka signaled to her guard to remain outside as she stepped into Jacen's apartment. She had been inside his quarters a few times, but not since they became lovers. The chance of somebody seeing them together and spreading rumors was far too great. She realized she was taking a risk now, but if Jacen was identified as having a hand in the Hapan plague then it didn't matter; there would be no saving her throne. Even if Allana's paternity was never discovered, the Hapan people would no longer tolerate a former Jedi as their Queen.

"Please make yourself at home," Jacen said nervously as he walked over to the kitchen. "Would you like something to drink?"

She usually didn't imbibe in alcohol, but she could use a drink right about now. "A glass of wine if you have it."

"Let's see what I have," he said as he opened up the cooling unit. He rummaged around before he pulled out a half empty bottle of white wine. "I'm not sure when I opened this, but it's the only wine I have." He gave her an apologetic look. "Sorry I was in the infirmary under observation and couldn't get out to grocery shop."

"That will be fine." Tenel Ka sat down on his couch, watching him as he poured two glasses.

He walked over and handed her the wineglass as he regarded her with warm brown eyes. "I'm glad you came. I was hoping we could talk. I have some things I would like to discuss with you."

"As do I," she said with an uneasy smile.

He went to sit in a chair across from her, but Tenel Ka patted the couch cushion adjacent to her. "Please sit next to me." She desired to be close to him. She didn't want to talk while sitting across from each other; it was too formal for a husband and wife. Jacen looked surprised but pleased. He sat next to her, but she noticed he kept a respectful distance. She gave an internal sigh. "Jacen…" she began but was quickly cut off.

"Tenel Ka, please let me go first." He watched her nervously. "I'm afraid if I delay, I will lose my nerve to say what needs to be said."

She sat back in her seat, giving him her full attention. "Please do."

Jacen sat up straight and she could see him visibly bracing himself, working up the courage to say something. She felt a shiver of unease run down her spine. What if she didn't like what he had to say? She couldn't remember exactly what their relationship was like six years ago and therefore she had no idea from what frame of mind he was coming from.

He smiled at her warmly. "Tenel Ka, I really like you."

For one horrifying second she thought that sentence would be followed by a 'but'"

But I don't want to be more than friends.
But, I met a cute nurse in the infirmary.
But, I decided I need to leave for a few years to find myself.'

In that short pause a dozen unhappy possibilities ran through her mind.

Jacen took a sip of his wine and she could feel anxiety rolling off him through the Force. "I like you and would like to be more to you than just friends. I would like to court you."

She stared at him in stunned relief as she blew out the breath she was holding.

He watched her closely waiting for a response. She smiled tenderly. "I would like that very much." She reached a hand over and placed it on his knee.

His eyes tracked the movement of her hand as he leaned forward and put his glass on the caf table in front of the couch. He turned to her and gazed deeply into her eyes. "For over a decade I've wanted to kiss you." He paused, almost waiting for permission. When she smiled he nervously leaned in and kissed her gently, passionately. One hand reached around her waist and as the other tenderly caressed the side of her face.

A familiar sexual yearning for this man welled up within her and as the tip of his tongue crept into her mouth she became so aroused she had to fight for control. Memories of making passionate love with Jacen came bursting to the forefront of her mind enflaming her body with intense desire.

Jacen slowly detangled himself from her arms and leaned back. He was breathing hard and she could feel his hand on her waist trembling with excitement. He gave her a sensual smile. "That was better than I could ever imagine." He reached up and brushed a stray lock of red hair from her face. "I know Queens don't date…but I would love it if you would consider it."

She couldn't help but smile at his shyness. It reminded her of when they first became lovers. He was so nervous and eager to please… and he was an extremely fast learner. Within a week he knew her every erogenous zone and every erotic pleasure she desired. Add Jacen's amorous skills with his handsome face and a toned body…and he became a walking, talking royal aphrodisiac. And right now she wanted him badly…her body longed for him.

"You're right Jacen…Queens don't date." She saw his smile fade a bit before she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close. "A Queen choses a man to be her mate." She kissed him softly, sensually. She pulled back and looked at Jacen's stunned expression. "I would like you to be that man, Jacen."

He opened his mouth to talk, but he couldn't seem to find the words. That was fine with her; she didn't want to talk anymore. She kissed him again as her hands roamed over his body. His arm around her waist tightened as he pulled her closer. Finally his voice found him. "Are you sure you want to do this…umm… now…wouldn't you like to start maybe with dinner and a holo."

Her hand brushed over the front of his trousers and he gasped in surprise. "That is not the feel of a man who wishes to see a Holo," she said in a teasing voice.

"No, it's not." His words came out low and husky with desire. He stood and grabbed her into his arms as he carried her to his bedchamber. He laid her on his bed and quickly divested himself of his clothing.

She took a shuddering breath as she gazed upon his body. He was perfection. His dark hair framed his tan chiseled face as his dark brown eyes raked down her body. He had the physique of a gymnast with broad shoulders, and finely sculpted muscles. He had everything in perfect proportion…everything.

He knelt on the bed, his fingers quickly unbuttoning her dress. After a few moments of struggle with the various snaps and buttons she finally lay before him unclothed. He looked over her hungrily, his eyes glowing with animal pleasure. "Gods you are beautiful," he said as he moved his body over hers.

"And I am all yours," she whispered. "Now and forever."

.

Jacen stared at the ceiling of his bedchamber, his heart pounding so hard it felt like it would burst out of his chest. The smell of sex clung in the air as he gasped for breath. He rolled over on sweat soaked sheets and gave a sensual slow smile to his lover.

Tenel Ka lay on her side next to him with only a thin sheet covering the lower part of her body. Jacen had to smile at her beauty; she had the striking figure of an athlete, but she remained extremely feminine with ample breasts and curves in all the right places. Her red hair was usually styled in impeccable elegant braids but their activities during the past last hour caused her hair to become undone and tangled. He liked seeing her that way…disheveled, exhausted and glowing with sexual satisfaction. It was extremely intimate.

He couldn't believe what had just transpired. The experience was better than any erotic fantasy he could possibly imagine in his youth…and he could imagine quite a bit. In bed, Tenel Ka didn't act like a Queen as much as a wild, insatiable Dathomir witch. The unbridled passion shocked and excited him… and left him wanting so much more.

"That was absolutely incredible, Tenel Ka," he whispered when he finally caught his breath. "I don't know if you were using the Force, but you knew everything I liked or ever wanted"

She smiled and ran a teasing finger down his chest. "You are the best as always."

That last statement caught him off guard. "As always?"

She flushed guiltily. "Jacen...I," she hesitated for a second. "I didn't get a chance to tell you what I wanted to discuss today."

"Which is?"

"This is not our first time together." She paused for a moment. "We had a relationship prior to your memory loss."

His jaw dropped and his eyes went wide in disbelief. "I'm sorry, I don't remember," he sputtered. "And believe me, that is something I would want to remember." He closed his eyes and tried to will the memories to return, but they remained stubbornly hidden. He sighed sadly. He thought this was their first time, but he now realized his injury had stolen that special moment from him also.

Tenel Ka scooted closer to him until their bodies touched. "I'm sorry you don't remember. We'll have to make new memories for you."

"I know," he said weakly. "And the memories you just gave me are a fantastic start." He leaned in and kissed her on the lips gently. "Being with you is a dream come true. I just wish I could remember our relationship." He thought for a moment before a mystifying question started gnawing on his mind. He looked over to her confused. "Did our relationship start recently, because my family made no mention of it? They have been over for the last week showing me holos of family events in the hopes I will remember some things. I didn't see you in any of the images."

Her eyes lowered as she took a deep breath cleansing breath and let it out slowly. "Jacen, our relationship started five years ago. Your family didn't know. It was a secret relationship."

"What?" he gasped. "Five years…why the secrecy?"

She gazed at him with tense, watchful eyes. "You know how much the Hapan people dislike Jedi."

"Yes," Jacen nodded slowly. "But why couldn't I tell my family? They're trustworthy. They would keep the secret."

She shook her head stubbornly. "I couldn't take the chance."

His eyes roved over her uneasily. "Exactly, how serious was this relationship? Was I an occasional lover or did we have a monogamous relationship?"

She looked down, averting her eyes. "We were secretly married on Dathomir."

"Married!" Jacen gave a stunned shout. "We were married and my family wasn't told?" Jacen suddenly sat up in bed as he was hit with a sudden insight. "Tenel Ka," he whispered as a trembling hand reached under her chin and gently brought her head up so he could look her in the eyes. "Your daughter…is she mine?"

Tenel Ka nodded her eyes glistening with tears. "Yes. Her name is Allana. She is four years old."

Jacen took a shuddering breath. "I don't remember her. I don't even know what she looks like." He fought to keep his voice steady, but there was still a waver when he talked. "I don't remember holding her…playing with her…hearing her call me Daddy." He closed his eyes sadly. "And my family doesn't know her either."

He felt terribly conflicted over the situation. He was delighted about having a family, but distraught that he had to hide the fact. "Tenel Ka, family is important to me and it's very important to my parents. My father was orphaned at a young age and my mother was forced to watch the destruction of her home planet…and with it, almost everybody she knew and loved. They lost their families. They can only look forward and love and cherish their children and grandchildren. I remember when Tahiri and Anakin had their oldest son Jos. My parents were beaming with joy. I want to see that look on my mother's face for a child of mine."

"Jacen, you don't remember, but we talked about this multiple times. It would endanger Allana if it was known you were the father."

Jacen rolled out of bed and paced the room anxiously, not bothering to dress. "Are you telling me I'm married, I have a four-year-old daughter, but I can't tell my family?" He shook his head incredulously. "And I agreed to this arrangement?"

"I admit you were very unhappy about the situation."

Jacen gave a caustic laugh. "I could see why." He gazed at her intently. "When my parents visited a couple days ago they showed me a holoshow presentation of me attending a number of family functions. The one thing I noticed was I looked depressed in almost every image." He shook his head. "Now I know why."

"I'm sorry Jacen."

"What does Allana say about her father being gone all the time? She must hate me."

Tenel Ka averted her eyes. "She does not know you are her father."

Jacen was left speechless for a moment. "My daughter doesn't know I am her father." He couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Who does my daughter think is her father?"

"I told her I would tell her when she was older…and I fully intended on keeping that promise when she was old enough to keep her paternity secret."

Jacen reached back and tried to rub the tension out of his neck. "Old enough…old enough to keep a secret. Do you mean you were never going to let the galaxy know? My family would never know?" Jacen couldn't help but get irritated. "My daughter is growing up fatherless, my mother doesn't know she has a granddaughter. You deny my existence as your husband and father of your child…just because the Hapan people don't like the Jedi? They have priority over us being a family?"

"I did it for Allana and my safety."

Jacen scoffed. "Has it worked? How many assassination attempts have occurred since our secret relationship started?"

"Many."

"I want to see my daughter." Jacen said firmly. "I won't let you deny me this. You may be the Queen, but I am a father…Allana's father." His voice cracked as the emotions welled up within him. "I want to see her…and I can tell you right now—I'm not going to keep this from my family. My father was a General in the Rebellion, my mother was Chief of State, my brother and sister are Jedi. If you can't trust them, then who can you trust? If you want to keep the public uninformed…fine, but my family needs to know, because I want one family…not my parents, brother, sister, aunts and uncles on one side of the galaxy and then another family with a secret wife and child on the other. I don't want two separate families. I want one." He paused. "Can you give me that?"

"I don't know." She bowed her head in sorrow. "Conditions are changing on Hapes, it may be possible."

"It may be possible." Jacen gave a sad scathing laugh. "For years I dreamt of being with you. Being your husband and starting a family and now I have it…but, it's under intolerable conditions." Jacen went to the master 'fresher. He felt like he was about to have a psychotic break. This was all too much for him to handle in one day. He turned in the doorway naked and unembarrassed. "I'm going to take a shower. I need some time alone." He ran a hand over his face. "This is overwhelming…with the memory loss and now finding out about a wife and daughter…and the situation. I need time to process this information." He pointed toward the living room door. "Tenel Ka, could you please leave?"

"What?"

"Please," Jacen pleaded. "I need time to think and you need time to go get my daughter so I can at least see her. Please!"

With that he closed the 'fresher door. After a few moments she heard the water running in the shower. She rolled out of bed furious and started to dress. She couldn't believe he could bed her so thoroughly and then tell her to go away, like she was a common prostitute.

Her anger ebbed somewhat when she realized that was exactly how she treated him all those years. They never went to out to dinner, a holo, dances, or anything normal people did while courting. She would sexually indulge herself with him and then ask him to sneak out of her bedchamber through some dark, dank tunnel. For the first time in her life she truly understood how he felt…and it wasn't a pleasant feeling.