Okay, don't kill me :3 I know I know that I didn't update faster but sorryy :3 I'd lots of at school and I couldn't :D lame reason I know :D but still, I'm here now so here's next chapter

I own nothing TT_TT I wish I did but only grammar mistakes are mine TT_TT

I could hear Lisbon's voice when I went near Van Pelt. She stopped typing on the keyboard and smiled at me

"Ms Lorens, you were right" I returned the grin

"I'm glad" she nodded and continued her work. I looked around the bullpen. We were alone in the office. Van Pelt noticed my hesitate and asked politely

"Can I help?"

"Yes, actually" I pointed to the empty desk before her "can I use it for awhile?"

"Well, you better ask Jane, that desk is his anyway" I raised the brows

"He doesn't even use it" I remarked "just for a minute, I'll find something and then I'll leave, I promise"

"Alright, then"

I put the bag on the couch and sat on Jane's chair. I switched the comp and easily hacked into the CBI site. Then searched for the files about Red John and my family and sent them to my e-mail. After that I looked for the address of my house, memorized it and cleared the history, logged out from the site and switched the comp off. I stood up

"I finished it, Agent Van Pelt, thank you"

"You are welcome, Ms Lorens" I nodded, took my bag and entered the elevator.

Now, I'm standing in front of my so-called house and I can't even force myself to take a step and touch the handle. I'm screwed up and so scared at the same time. I don't know what's waiting for me inside. I've no idea if this damned smiley face is still on the wall or if those roses are still in the room, withered.

I know I've to be strong. I've to open the door and step inside. And I do what I've to do. I took the steps towards the front door and took the deep breath, then opened it. It's dark inside. I reach for the switch and turn the lights on. There's everything as I remembered. The furniture is on the same place but some things are missing. I realize they were broken that night. Nothing big but still very noticeable stuffs like vases and cups Mom used to love. I look at the empty placed and sigh. There's nothing I can do about the pain I feel right now. I inhaled deeply before stepping in the living room. I was right... as always. The smiley face looks at me creepily. Alright, not creepily but still, yeah.

I turn around and saw the big sofa in the middle of the room. The carpet is missing. I put the bag down and enter the kitchen. There's dust everywhere. I guess I need to clean the house up, not that it will be the first time. I open the cupboards and took the glass, then wash it and out in the table. The glass is actually the big cup, green one. Dad used to love this cup. He was smiling at Mom before good morning kiss and then sipping his coffee. I feel butterflies in my stomach. The air sick doesn't stop but I pill the glass with water and drink it silently. It seems to call me down a little.

The grumble makes me think about food. Not that I really remembered what I saw eating at the clinic. But the fridge would be empty so I took the money and close the front door behind me, even if someone will breaks inside it. I chuckled at the thought. At least I won't be afraid of robbery.

I see the store in the corner of the street. I walk inside and choose some fruits and vegetables. I make sure to buy lots of potatoes, seems centuries since I last tasted them. I also grab some coffee and milk, then bread, butter and the cake called Napoleon. My favorites as always. It's strange to buy them since I've never bought them before. I order the annoying voice inside me to shut up and pay for food The seller looks at me and her eyes show astonishment now. She seems too happy to have me in her store. I feel like I'll throw up if I won't leave this place soon. I grab the paper bags and head towards the house. I lock the door behind me and release the breath I didn't notice I was holding. I feel protected now but this feeling goes away when I see the face. I try to ignore it and head towards the kitchen. I pill the fridge and curse as I remember I forgot eggs and bacon. I set the kettle on the stove and prepare the coffee. I cut Napoleon and eat it slowly, tasking the caffeine. The aroma is so good it's hard to not drink it immediately but that's not how the coffee has to be drunk. I was the cup but leave it in the shell.

Then I leave the house again, now for a real shopping. I've to but a very good and useful cellphone, the one that won't annoy the hell out of me, then I can check out my room and the computer and read all those files I 'stole' from CBI.

I can't bring myself to look at the screen. I know it shouts RED JOHN without even looking at it. I take deep breath before sitting on the bed and eying the computer. Annoyed by my strangeness, stupidity and fear I shut it down from the charger and turn the lights off. I need to sleep property or I won't be able to go to school tomorrow. I've to talk to the principal to let me study again. Red John Case can wait till tomorrow.

I'm pretty sure I won't be able to sleep tonight. I know my insomnia will takes over and I've to face the night alone. I realize how I hate being alone now. I've never noticed this before. Maybe because I still had Sarah and James's company. And now loneliness is noticeable.

Cut the crap!

I command and hide under the blanket. I just wish today won't be the day when Red John decides to make me realize I'm not forgotten...

At least, people can dream, can't they?

Soo! I finished! Lorens will meet the principal in the next chapter so wait for it ^_^

Until the next time everyone!