After Horizon

Once the shuttle returned to the Normandy, Shepard got off immediately and headed straight for the elevator to her quarters without speaking to or looking at anyone. Jacob and Garrus were left in the shuttle bay staring at her wake.

"Is she gonna be ok?" Jacob asked Garrus. He started to follow her but Garrus reached out to stop him.

"Just, give her a few minutes. Today was pretty rough. Give her some time to think." said Garrus, releasing Jacob's arm. He looked up at Garrus and saw looked just as emotionally drained as Shepard did.

"Ok. I'll give her time." He turned to start his usual post mission routine. The time spent cleaning and repairing weapons and armor and grabbing a bite to eat allowed him to sort through his thoughts.

This should have been just another mission. An important mission, yes, but a mission none the less. A mission with a crew and a commander but this somehow felt… different. He was quickly learning everything was different when it came to Shepard. On the surface she was a friendly, funny, intelligent woman. It was easy to see how she got the reputation of being able to talk anyone into and out of just about anything.

He had gotten to know her pretty well in the time they'd been on the ship together. She made a habit of at least passing through the armory everyday and stopping to talk for a bit after every mission, even if she didn't take him down with her. At first it threw him off a bit. He'd never had a commander who took the time to talk to their subordinates as much as she did. When he asked her why she did this, she just shrugged, said "It's what I do" and left it at that. There were also times where she tried to get to know more about him and his background, but she never pushed. She never tried to make him tell her more than he was comfortable telling and he greatly appreciated that.

He also got glimpses of the more complicated person underneath the surface. Even though he didn't really open up to her, Shepard seemed to have no problem opening up to him. She told him stories about the first Normandy and its crew and even a couple from her childhood. Those were some of his favorite moments with her. He could see the weight lift off her shoulders and her eyes would seem brighter somehow. She would hop up on the table behind him and settle in to tell her story while he calmly added whatever mods they found or bought to their weapons. Most days it felt like she just wanted, or maybe needed, someone to just listen to her for a while.

Jacob was in the armory finishing up a repair on one of Shepard's heavy pistols when he heard the door swish open and the familiar tap of shoes against the floor. He looked up and saw a visibly distraught Shepard. She had taken her hair out of it's usual bun and instead had it in a high ponytail. Her hair, still wet from her shower, was much curlier and longer than he thought it'd be. The damp curls could easily brush her shoulder if she turned her head. She was dressed in a simple black tank top and matching gym shorts that showed off her long dark brown legs. In her hand she carried a pair of red padded training gloves. He guessed she was headed down to the shuttle bay where the small makeshift gym was to get in some training. What stopped him in his tracks though was her eyes. Instead of the bright, hazel eyes he was used to he saw something very different. Her eyes were red as if she'd been crying hard very recently and he could even see the cybernetics glowing slightly in her irises.

"Shepard, are you ok?" Jacob reached out and touched her wrist, stopping her from going any further. Shepard looked at him, surprised like she hadn't even seen him standing there.

"Oh. Yeah, I'm fine. I was just gonna check on some upgrades and then go exercise for a bit." She seemed a bit distracted while she talked, like her mind was half there and half somewhere else entirely. Jacob held on to her wrist a moment longer before letting go.

"I was just finishing up this repair. I can meet you down in the shuttle bay if you don't mind some company?"

"Um, yeah. That'd be nice." Shepard gave him a small smile before walking off. Once she was out the door, Jacob hurried to clean his station. Once he was done, he went down to his quarters to change into his own set of workout gear. He hoped a bit of exercise and some time alone would help him get to the bottom of what was really bothering her. He didn't know why, but he really didn't like seeing her hurt like this.

"EDI, is there anyone in the bay with me right now?" Jacob reached the shuttle bay before Shepard and that gave him a chance to do something he figured she would appreciate.

"You are currently the only person in the shuttle bay Operative Taylor." EDI's cool voice answered back.

"Good. When Shepard gets down here, can you make sure we're not disturbed? Oh, and please disable the recording devices when she arrives please." Jacob said while making his way towards the makeshift gym.

"Of course Operative Taylor. Logging you out."

Jacob took the time before Shepard arrived to start on his own workout routine. The "gym" itself was relatively small. It was set up on the right side of the hangar but it could be removed at any time if the space was needed. There were two benches that could comfortably sit two people each and two treadmills. There was a full weight set, a weight bench, and a pull up bar. The large punching bag and mats that could be laid out to make a makeshift ring for sparring were recent additions.

By the time Shepard arrived, he was halfway through his third set of pullups. Shepard was slightly caught off guard by what she saw. She knew Jacob was in shape but she had no idea just how in shape he was. It was obvious he put as much time and care into his body as he did the weapons on the ship. He'd obviously been there for a while; his shirt was neatly folded on one of the benches and his back glistened with sweat. The sight of his muscles contracting and relaxing with every pull-up was almost distracting enough to make her forget why she was so upset. Almost.

Shepard heaved a sigh, pulled on her gloves, and headed over to the punching bag. "Got started without me?"

"Well I had to do something while I waited." said Jacob with a slight laugh. He hopped down from the bar, sat at one of the benches and took a long drink from his water bottle. After a short break, he moved to one of the treadmills and watched as Shepard started in on the punching bag.

He hoped the exercise would help relieve some of her tension, but it seemed to have the opposite effect. With every punch, every kick at the punching bag he could see her muscles tensing. He knew something was truly wrong when her biotics started to flare. He hopped off the treadmill and took a few cautious steps towards her.

"Esperanza, are you ok?" He reached out to lightly touch her shoulder. As soon as Jacob touched her, she stopped. He could feel her trembling slightly at his touch. He thought maybe she'd be pissed he stopped her. What he didn't expect was the small quiet sob that escaped her lips.

"Esperanza?" He said again, turning her around to face him. He could see the tears streaming silently down her face. "Come here." He pulled her into a hug and felt as the tension finally bled away from her. Once she had calmed down a bit, he pulled back and led her towards the benches.

"What's on your mind Esperanza? Talk to me." Jacob asked as Shepard took off her gloves and wiped the tears from her face.

"I just…" she sighed and leaned forward, continuing after a slight pause. "I expected some anger, I was prepared for pain, hurt, and loss. Never in my life did I think she'd question my loyalty to the Alliance, to my mother. She knows me, she knows the Alliance is, was, my life. We both come from military families, we have similar backgrounds. She knows this, she knows everything about me! How could she?! I loved her! Hell, I still do, part of me always will. She had to know how much that would hurt. Why would she do that?" she asked as she looked up at Jacob. In that moment she wasn't Commander Shepard, Hero of Elysium, Savior of the Citadel and the Council, First Human Spectre. She was simply a person hurt and in love, looking for comfort and support from a friend.

"Love sometimes makes us do things we later regret." He said with a sigh.

"Huh. That's the understatement of the century." Shepard leaned back, copying Jacob's position on the bench. Jacob tilted his head to get a better look at her. She was one of the most beautiful people he had ever met. Her hair had dried and the curls in her hair seemed to shrink a few inches. A few strands of hair had escaped her ponytail and the tight coils framed her face perfectly. Absent mindedly, he reached out to brush some of the hair behind her ear. The soft brush of his fingers against her skin caused her to turn to look at him. Her normally bright gaze had turned into something darker but not wholly unpleasant.

"Thank you." Shepard said so quietly Jacob barely heard her over the hum of the drive core.

"For what?" He questioned. His thumb began slowly tracing small circles on the small patch of skin behind her ear. He watched as she closed her eyes and relaxed into his touch.

"For listening to me whine and cry." She gave a small laugh, opened her eyes and continued. "It's nice to know someone is willing to listen. I should go. I still have a few reports to file." She reached up and slowly removed his hand from her neck. She grabbed her gloves and rose to leave. As she reached the elevator, she turned to look at Jacob who was still sitting on the bench, his elbows on his knees.

"Oh and thanks for having EDI turn off the cameras and mics down here. It's nice to know The Illusive Man, Miranda, and whoever else won't have recordings of my mini emotional breakdowns."

By the time he turned around to ask her how she knew, she was in the elevator and gone. All he could do was smile at the space she once occupied. Yes, Shepard was different. The kind of different that Jacob didn't mind getting to know a bit better.