Part Two! Not beta read, please excuse any errors!
Robbie's parents, for once, were not overly cheerful at the thought of death. Bill and Dipper had made an appearance at the funeral, sitting in the back with their hands linked together quietly. Dipper would glance up at times at Bill, but saw nothing more than the impassive face Bill normally wore outside.
"I know what their note said, but I don't believe it." Tambry had tears streaming down her face as she stood at the podium. Dipper felt guilt turn in his stomach as she sobbed. "He gave me a promise ring, he wanted to marry as soon as we graduated. I just lost my soulmate, and you all think he's gay!"
She was ushered off stage, and Dipper hoped no one would believe her. She was right, if Robbie Valentino had loved anyone, he loved Tambry, but no one seemed to care. They were all invested in the gossip, that Robbie was gay and Thompson was as well.
"I can't believe they actually bought that." Bill laughed in his ear, and Dipper elbowed him in the gut. Bill laughed a little louder at the action, but was silent as Robbie's parents took the stage.
"We thought he was happy, but now it's like everything makes sense." Robbie's mother started. "We should have seen the signs."
"He hadn't been happy in a long time." Robbie's father continued. "We'll always miss our son, but we can say this now, we love our dead, gay, son."
The parents looked at each other with a nod, and dissolved into tears and a hug. Dipper turned to Bill, shaking his head and tugging on his hand. It was bad enough what they had done, what Bill had done, Dipper couldn't stand to sit here and listen to people mourn.
"Let's go, please." Dipper murmured. Bill's lips drew down in a frown, but he still nodded, letting Dipper tug him out of the funeral home.
They walked silently together, Dipper leaning against Bill's arm. The world was more beautiful without Robbie, without Thompson, Dipper reasoned. They had done the world a favor, hadn't they? Dipper told himself, for his own sanity, that they had, that the world was better.
"That girl Tambry might be on to us." Bill murmured. Dipper had once joked that they could see one end of town from the other, and it was true. They hadn't been walking ten minutes and already they were near Bill's house. "We should take care of her next."
"Wait, what?" Dipper pulled back, but Bill had a vice around his hand, refusing to let go. "We can't, Bill, we've done too much already."
"We haven't done enough!" Bill immediately argued. His grip on Dipper's wrist was tight enough to leave bruises, and he was sure there would be in a minute.
"We haven't done enough? Three people are dead because of us! And you want to take more lives?" Bill clamped a hand over his mouth, but Dipper pried it off. "I never should have let you do this to me, this is just...hate. It's trying to solve hate with pain and fury and I can't do it anymore Bill, I can't."
"What, don't want to admit how terrible society is? Don't want to understand that until we rid the world of these sinners, we won't be happy?" Bill scoffed, his laughter filling the open air a moment later. "I thought you were stronger than this."
"I thought you were better than this." Dipper snapped. He waited a moment, silence leaving them open in the air before Dipper took a long, calming breath. There was something he was missing with Bill, a piece of information that was important, that needed to be known.
"Bill, just how did your parents die?" Dipper asked in a quiet whisper, yet it seemed so loud. Bill's head threw itself back in a bout of laughter, and Dipper felt his breath catch in his throat. Bill still held his wrist tightly, refusing to let go.
"Oh, you want to know, Pine Tree? Want to ruin your little image of the world?" Bill's grip tightened, and Dipper felt tears automatically spring to his eyes at the pain, of his joints grinding together. "I watched my mother and father walk into a burning building, leaving me out on the sidewalk. I watched them through the window as they held each other and were engulfed by flames. And I laughed."
Dipper couldn't get air into his lungs. It was as though he was struggling for what should be easy, and Bill was staring at him, waiting for a reply. Bill couldn't think of anything to say, not when all Dipper could think about was the flames and the pain Bill must have felt.
"Oh, Bill."
Bill seemed to realize just how tightly he was holding Dipper, and he let him go. Dipper's hands rose, going to softly cup Bill's cheeks. His wrist burned and ached, his heart ached for his lover. Bill leaned into the touches, and Dipper did his best to be comforting.
"I'm so sorry. I wish I had been there sooner. I wish I had known you when we were younger, but can't we be young now? What happened was terrible, and they shouldn't have done that, but we don't get to decide who lives and who dies." Bill frowned against Dipper's hand, but didn't pull back. "We can go on vacations, we can spend time together, we can eat hot dogs at the county fair and make a life together. Don't you want all that with me?"
"I worship the very ground you walk on, Dipper. I'd trade my life for yours." Bill murmured softly. "If that's what you want, then I happily chose you."
Dipper smiled softly, pressing a soft kiss against Bill's lips. The kiss was instantly returned, more passionately than Dipper expected, but it was love, pure love that Dipper wanted.
"Now, now, everyone calm down." Mrs Woods waved her hands about. Dipper was truly starting to hate the woman, a warmth growing in his gut whenever he saw her. She walked around the room, passing out slips of paper to each of the students. They were copies of the suicide notes that Dipper had written.
"I want you all to look at these, and realize that not everyone is so shallow as you make them out to be! I mean, look at Pacifica. No one thought she was anything past the blond hair, but she was!" Mrs Woods shook her head. "It's really only in death sometimes that we realize such things."
Dipper rolled his eyes. Mrs Woods was really going to pretend that she hadn't been talking to the news stations as much as Tambry had been, talking about what a tragedy it was to lose someone so young. Dipper jumped when the door opened, and more news crew walked inside. He just about groaned and put his head on the desk.
"Dipper Pines, pay attention!" Mrs Woods snapped before turning to the reporter with a smile. "It's hard to start the healing process, every student is different about it."
This time, Dipper did roll his eyes. Looking down at his desk, he hardly noticed when the camera was shoved in his face, the reporter asking if he had anything to say about the recent deaths. Dipper coughed awkwardly, glancing down at the notes he had written himself.
"I used to think life was beautiful. I guess it's really not."
The reporter nodded and moved away, leaving Dipper to breathe a sigh of relief. This was too much for him. He wished that Bill was in this class, to protect him or answer questions for him. Bill was so much better about this than he was.
"Now, does anyone want to come forward and talk about this? Has anyone thought about suicide before?" Mrs Woods encouraged. Dipper held back the laugh building in his throat.
There was silence, but then there wasn't. The reporters focused on the one person who had raised their hand, the one person who might have been considered brave amongst all the others, but instead almost looked ridiculous for doing it in front of television and other students.
"Oh, Wendy, really? I would have thought it would have been…" Mrs Woods had the audacity to gesture to Dipper. "What's troubling you, dear?"
Dipper's gaze snapped over to Wendy. Everyone was staring at her, and she seemed to shrink underneath their gaze. She didn't seem as strong as she had always been when they were younger, before all this happened.
"It's stupid." Wendy started. From the way she said those two words, Dipper instantly knew it wasn't. "It's just everything! Pacifica killing herself, Robbie, I mean, Tambry's been pushing me to take these diet pills, and then that whole thing with Thompson…"
Dipper opened his mouth to ask just what happened with Thompson, but laughter cut him off. Mrs Woods was laughing, almost doubled over, leaning against another student's desk. After a moment, the students laughed as well, joining their teacher.
"Oh Wendy, you're sweet and everything, but we're trying to take this seriously. Anyone with some actual problems?" Mrs Woods wiped a tear from her eye, turning away. Dipper felt fury rise in his chest.
Wendy stared at her, but then rose, rushing out of her room with her backpack slung over her shoulder. Dipper slammed his book shut, getting the attention of the whole classroom. They stared at him, unimpressed.
"What's wrong with you? She comes up for help and you mock her?" Dipper yelled. "You know what, none of this matters because those guys didn't kill themselves, I killed them!"
The class stared at him as he shouted, and Dipper paled. Bill was going to kill him, he had done the one thing that he wasn't meant to do, all he had to do was keep his mouth shut and they would get past this.
And then there was more laughter, spurred on by Mrs Woods this time. Dipper fumed, leaving his things behind as he rushed from the room, going to find where Wendy could have gone. It wasn't hard to find her, hiding in the women's bathroom only two rooms down.
"Wendy!" Dipper called, barging in. He would have never thought he would see her like this, but there she was, standing in front of the sink with a bottle of pills in hand. She was bringing water to her lips. Dipper knocked it out of her hands.
"What are you doing? You're just going to let them win!?" Dipper slapped the pills, and they scattered across the tile floor. She slumped down with them, as though her body had lost all the fight as well. Dipper slid on the floor next to her.
"I said it was stupid." Wendy croaked out. "It is stupid. I should be stronger."
"It's okay to be weak sometimes." Dipper wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close in a hug. "You're going to be okay."
"Pine Tree!" Bill almost sang, wrapping his arms tightly around Dipper's waist. Dipper laughed slightly, leaning back against the warm chest. People glanced at them, but the school was emptying out for the day, they would be alone soon enough.
"I missed you." Bill murmured right in his ear. "Did you see Tambry at all today? God, she's so stuck up."
"I know babe." Dipper pressed a soft kiss against the corner of Bill's lips. When he pressed further against Bill, he felt something hard press against his back, causing a blush to grace his features. "Are you that happy to see me?"
Bill laughed, reaching into his jeans. A shiny, silver gun flashed before Dipper as Bill brandished it, showing it off. Dipper instinctively took a step back, breath catching in his throat.
"I'm extremely happy to see you, but I was thinking we could take care of Tambry instead. If I have to hear her voice one more time, I'll kill myself." Bill rolled his eyes. "It'll be great, we can finally start to rid this school of it's terrible upper class."
"Bill, are you serious right now?" One unamused look from Bill told Dipper that he was indeed, not joking. "We can't, we talked about this! We can't do this anymore. I can't do this."
"You don't have to do anything but write the note! We're making the world a better place." Bill laughed. "It's so easy. Don't try to tell me you didn't like it."
Dipper shook his head slowly, taking a step back. No, he didn't enjoy it. He didn't enjoy the guilt that gnawed at his stomach, or the nightmares he had at night. Bill frowned as Dipper stepped back, trying to reach out, but unintentionally pointing the gun briefly at Dipper. Dipper flinched, hands raised in defense. Until that moment, he never feared that Bill would hurt him.
"I can't do this anymore, Bill." Dipper started quietly, and Bill shoved the gun into the waistband of his jeans. "I can't. We have to break up."
"What?" Bill almost yelled, but it was broken. "Pine Tree-"
"No, Bill. I can't." Dipper said softly. "I can't. I'll see you around."
His heart pounded in his chest as he walked away, turning his back to the man with a gun. Bill called after him, a sorrow filled sound that almost made Dipper turn back, but Dipper wouldn't let himself. He had to get away from him.
Bill held the gun loosely in his fingers, almost slight enough to let it fall to the ground. There was silence, and in that deafening silence, Bill knew there was one thing he wanted. He fixed his grip on his hand, his finger over the trigger-
"Come on, I want to get pizza before the pep rally." Someone walked past him, and Bill shoved the gun away before they could see it.
"You always want pizza." Someone else laughed. Bill leaned against the lockers, watching the small group pass.
Pep rally? Well, that might just be exactly what this school needed.
"Dipper?" Mabel's voice crackled through the speaker of his phone as he walked home alone for the first time since he hooked up with Bill. "You need to head to the hospital."
"What's wrong?" Dipper turned, heading down the other side of the street. Was it Stan? Was it Ford? Dipper felt anxiety bubble in his stomach as his pace picked up to a light jog.
"It's Soos." Mabel paused. "He tried to kill himself."
Dipper didn't remember dropping his phone. He didn't remember breaking out into a run to the hospital, he didn't remember how long it took him to get to the hospital. All he could hear was his panting breath, the roar of blood in his ears, and he could swear he heard Pacifica's laughter in his ears.
The hospital air was sterile, it almost felt fake on his lungs. Melody was sitting in one of the uncomfortable chairs in the waiting room, and Dipper almost tackled her as he rushed to her side. She caught him, helping him to his feet without a word.
"What happened?" Dipper asked frantically. "Is he okay?"
"A few broken bones, but he should be fine. Physically, at least." Dipper had never heard Melody sound so forlorn before. "Do you know why?"
Why he did this, hung in the air between them. Dipper shook his head, before running his hand through his hair and trying to figure out what could have caused this to happen. Melody sighed, resting her head in her hands as Dipper stood next to her.
"You should go home, Dipper. He's sleeping right now." Melody said. "I'll call you when he wakes up."
Dipper didn't want to leave, but he felt so unwelcomed. He should have been there for Soos, he should have been there with his best friend, to make sure nothing else happened. Bill had just taken up so much of his time, Dipper had barely had a moment to think before he was three murders in.
"Yeah, okay, call me when he wakes up." Dipper murmured. Melody nodded, and Dipper glanced around one more time before walking out of the hospital lobby.
The hospital doors slid shut behind him, locking him out of the room. It was melancholic, walking home alone, night falling behind him. When did it get so late? Dipper hardly noticed the sidewalk passing underneath his feet as he made his way home. The scent and sounds of home created a balm over his frazzled nerves.
"Dipper! Where have you been?" Stanley was there, folding his newspaper over in his lap. "Your boyfriend stopped by."
"He's not my boyfriend-wait, how did you know that?" Dipper asked. "He was here?"
"He said you were going to kill yourself." Stan said, completely unamused. "Go upstairs, no supper."
Dipper rolled his eyes, going upstairs to his room. Mabel had vacated the attic when they came for their last summer, as they were a bit too old to be sharing a room, so he had the room to himself. Knowing Stan, he would be up in an hour with food and a gruff apology. Dipper had to work out why Bill would come by here.
"Oh my god."
Bill wouldn't come here to tell Stanley that unless he was planning to end his life. Dipper threw his bag on the bed, barely giving himself time to think as he went into the closet to get a change of clothes for later.
"He wants a suicide? Let's see how he deals with a suicide he doesn't plan."
Dipper Pines wasn't the only one who knew how to pick locks. Bill waited patiently for the young man to arrive home, the gun sitting awkwardly in his hand. He wasn't sure how to hold it, untrained in this area that some people were experts in. He tucked it into the waistband of his jeans as he scaled the side of the house.
"Should have known this was going to happen." Bill muttered. "This is what happens when you let people in. Tad was right, they can all suck my dick."
The window creaked as he opened it, the room seemingly empty. Bill landed with a soft thump on the ground, taking out his gun, keeping it pressed against his side firmly. His one golden eye scanned the room, barely noticing the closet door slide shut. Bill smirked, placing the tip of the gun against his lips to muffle his laughter.
"Oh, you just think you're so smart." Bill tapped the gun, flicking the safety off, almost jumping when he realized it had been off the whole time. "Come on out, Dipper, you don't have anyone else left to come out of the closet for!"
Silence. Absolute, deafening silence. Bill waited, his grin stretching wider across his face. What would be even better than killing Dipper? Making Dipper stay by his side, two people against the world. A world Bill was determined to rule one day.
"Come on, don't be shy now. You know no one can make you feel as great as I do. You think those people out there care about you? You think they even notice if you're gone? They don't! They don't care about you at all! Come on, I promise not to hurt you, I don't care about the past. I want to make a future with you."
A future with the world burning at their feet, with cities in ruin and society sobbing and begging for forgiveness. Bill could taste the ash on his tongue, the fires that were sure to come. Or maybe that was just the memory of his parents leaving him.
"They poisoned you, Dipper! Made you think that it was nothing but a dreary life. Don't you want more? You told me you wanted a life with me, was that all a lie? I fell apart after you left, you shattered me into a thousand pieces and I cut myself trying to pick them up."
A faint rustling, like the sound of mice crawling through the walls. Bill tapped the gun against the door in a rhythmic motion, the tap tap tap the only sound in the room besides the mice scuttering under the floorboards.
"Come on, baby, you know what I'd do for you. I went home and built a bomb, and tonight we'll make sure that the school lights up like Vietnam. Bang! The whole school will go up in flames, and everyone stopping us from being together will die in an instant. Everyone will know. I was meant to be yours, and you were meant to be mine. Don't give up on me now, finish what you've started! I was meant to be yours."
Nothing. Not even the mice could be heard. Bill growled, a sound low in his throat that reverberated throughout the room. Why was Dipper being so difficult? Why did he have to be so stubborn?
"You've carved open my heart, you can't leave me to bleed! Open the goddamn door, Dipper! I don't want to fight with you anymore, I won't do this without you. I've taken care of everything, you don't even need to lift a finger, just stand by my side."
Scrambling to his feet, Bill took a deep breath. All the arguments, all the pain, it would be worth it when Dipper was by his side and they walked through the ashes of Gravity Falls High. He shoved his shoulder against the door, but it hardly budged.
"Dipper, enough! Move back, I'm breaking down the door. One!" As though it would magically open. "Two!" He wished it would open. "Three!"
The door came down with a crash, Bill's shoulder screaming in protest. Dipper hung from the ceiling, a blanket wrapped around his neck in a makeshift noose. Bill fell to his knees like a preacher reaching salvation, staring up in shock at the angel blessing him. Bill wished it was an angel.
"Dipper?"
His voice was too small, too soft. The beam Dipper hung himself from creaked underneath his weight.
"That's not fair, you can't leave me alone. You were the only one I could trust!"
The beam creaked again, mocking him. Tears dribbled down his cheeks, hot against his face. Bill wiped them angrily, almost hitting himself in the face with the gun as he forgot he was holding it. With anger, Bill turned to the lifeless body of Dipper Pines.
"I can do this alone, but don't worry, I'll be there with you soon." Bill came close, pressing his fingers against his lips, then those fingers against Dipper's still warm cheek.
"Dipper? Alright kid, give me the silent treatment. Expect that from Mabel, not you." Stan scoffed as he pushed open Dipper's bedroom door. He had a plate of reheated pizza in his hand, and can of Dipper's favorite Pitt Cola in the other.
The crash was almost as deafening as the silence that Dipper had left Bill in. The ceramic shattered against the ground, and Stan could only stare up in horror at the swinging body of his nephew, until that body raised its head, and smiled.
"Oh, hey, can you put the chair right side up?"
Stan fumbled with his actions as he set the chair right. Dipper slowly unwound himself, revealing the blanket had wrapped around his torso instead of his neck. He swayed on the chair, but only for a moment as Stan steadied him.
"Thanks, Grunkle Stan. Now there's a pep rally, mind if I duck out?" Dipper asked, grabbing his backpack and his bat. Stanley only stared at his nephew, looking at the man as though he had risen from the dead. Dipper almost laughed as he realized he did.
"Thanks, Grunkle Stan!"
Dipper ran, oh, how he ran. He ran like the devil himself was on his heels, but that wasn't right. The devil was in the high school, waiting for the perfect time to blow the whole thing up. Dipper couldn't let that happen, he had fallen so low when he let Bill influence him, Dipper wouldn't fall a step further.
People gaped at him as he walked through the doors. Sometime during running, his resolve had only strengthened. Some people he wouldn't have cared about after high school, and he probably would never see them again. Yet as he ran, and his lungs burned for air, Dipper asked himself one question. Would he die for these people?
"Dipper! William told me you had killed yourself." She frowned down at her clipboard, shaking her head.
"Well, he exaggerates a lot of things, doesn't he?" Dipper tried to move past her, but she only stepped in his way again.
"Well, I did prepare a lovely ceremony, despite your short notice." She sighed heavily. "Where are you going with that bat?"
"Oh, to the baseball field for practice." He had never played a day in his life. "Hey, what's underneath the school?"
"The boiler room?"
"You're the best, Mrs Woods, see you!" Dipper took off before she could drag him back into another conversation.
The door to the boiler room wasn't locked, and Dipper slid inside easily. This wasn't rational, he told himself. Rational would be calling the police and letting them handle this. Rational would be pulling the fire alarm so the school was evacuated. Bill wasn't rational though, and Dipper knew he was the only one who could calm him down.
"Bill." Dipper murmured. His voice carried easily, to the form kneeling down next to wires and dynamite. "Step away from the bomb."
"What, this little thing?" Bill didn't react to Dipper's sudden appearance, but his eyes shone with a new light. "It's hardly a bomb! All it does is tell the detonators upstairs to go off. Those are bombs. But why am I telling you any of this? I'm sure you've heard it all."
Dipper took a deep, steadying breath. It was hard. Harder than it should have been. There was still love in his heart, as much as Dipper wanted to push it away. He would never forget Bill. But Bill was dangerous, and waving a gun around like a flag.
"I wish your parents had been stronger." Dipper felt tears at his eyes. "I wish they had stayed around a little longer. I wish your uncle was kind, I wish you would step away! It's not your fault they died and you shouldn't blame yourself for it!
The bat fell to the ground with a clatter. "I wish we had met before. I wish I could convince you life isn't war, I wish-"
"I wish I had more TNT."
The gun steadied itself on Dipper's heart. There was no warmth there in that golden eye. Bill's hand shook for just a moment, and Dipper pounced.
The sound of the pep rally descended upon them, the only sound besides hissing steam around them. Dipper wrestled the gun away from Bill, fingers pressing against the trigger in just hopes of putting the safety on and stopping the bullet from exiting it's chamber.
Bill's fist shot out like a rocket and Dipper barely had time to duck. It crashed against the ground instead, and Bill hissed in pain. Dipper scrambled back, taking a moment to find the gun and he was scrambling after it.
"Dipper, don't!"
Bill grabbed his ankle, yanking Dipper away from the gun just as his fingers would have closed around the grip. Bill scrambled over Dipper, but Dipper's knee raised, landing right on Bill's gems and knocking out the air from him.
Dipper reached up, his heart racing as he aimed the gun, for one moment hoping that it wouldn't fire, that this could still be settled peacefully, but it fired and everything was still.
The blood didn't start falling right away. It bloomed on Bill's shirt, staining the material as he fell heavily to the ground. The gun fell to the floor with a clatter, and Bill sucked in a deep breath of air as he struggled to breathe.
"Bill." Dipper said softly. The chanting upstairs stopped, maybe they heard the gunfire. "Bill, how do I turn off the bomb?"
He laughed, a choking sound full of pain as Dipper knelt next to him. Carefully, as to not cause more pain, Dipper cupped Bill's face in his hands, thumbs brushing over his cheeks. Bill laughed again, but it was more forced again.
"Bill, it's over! Now tell me which wire, please." Dipper didn't want to beg. More tears built up in his eyes as he watched Bill's own eye close.
One minute. The ticking off it's timer broke Dipper out of his trance. Was one minute long enough to get it to the football field? Just barely, but it wouldn't be long enough for him to get away to safety. Dipper stumbled to his feet, wincing as pain bloomed in his knee.
Would he sacrifice him for the people upstairs? The answer was yes.
Thirty seconds.
"You know, I never got to write my own suicide note." Dipper laughed, the bomb clutched tightly to his chest. His body ached, it hurt, but he only had twenty seconds left. There wasn't enough time.
"Will they even know it's me when they find my scattered remains?" Dipper murmured, stopping once he was far enough. No one would be able to find him out here for a while.
"Probably not."
Dipper almost fell back as he heard the noise. He stumbled, but Bill was already falling forward, on his hands and knees with blood dribbling from his lips.
"You're just so smart, bringing it out here. Are you happy? Only you get to die." Bill spat blood on the ground, and Dipper realized he must be bleeding out through his throat. If the bullet had punctured a lung he wouldn't be there.
"I deserve to die." Was all Dipper mumbled. Bill moved forward, and Dipper fell back in fright.
Twenty seconds.
"You're wrong." Bill murmured. It was so quiet, Bill almost didn't hear it. "I'm damaged, far too damaged. You actually have a chance."
Bloodied fingers reached out, and Dipper didn't fight as those fingers, the same fingers that had once held and caressed him at night, pried the bomb from his hand.
"Stand back, Pine Tree, you won fair and square." Bill wouldn't have survived, not this late in life anyways. "Maybe now you'll understand, now you'll realize-"
"Bill, you can't." Not because of love, but because someone had to pay, someone had to be brought to justice. Bill couldn't really leave him all alone here, could he?
Ten seconds.
"I worship you. I'd trade my life for you."
"Not this way!"
"Our love is God."
Dipper choked back tears. "Say hi to God."
The explosion came forth and knocked him back, ash and smoke and blood raining down from the heavens. Dipper choked on air as he landed roughly, something breaking underneath him as he fell back to the Earth. Bits of clothing fell down with the ash and flesh, but all Dipper's fingers could grab was a scrap of cloth and an eye patch.
People rushed out of the building, towards the explosion. Wendy was there in the front line, kneeling down next to him and pulling his arm straight so he wouldn't damage it further. Dipper could barely hear it over the ringing in his ears.
"What happened?" Wendy shouted, just barely heard over the ringing. Then Mabel was on his other side, brows furrowed.
"You look like hell, bro." Mabel was quieter, but Dipper could still hear her. He coughed on air again, tasting blood on his tongue.
"I feel like I just got back." Dipper laughed when his cough stopped. Looking up at his sister, he tried to ignore the beating of his heart in his ears. Bill was dead, and his eye patch was clutched in his fingers, but Dipper would keep him alive, in his memories.
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