Author's Note: So I know this chapter took forever. Funny story: I was so excited to write it back in... I don't know, October?... that I actually wrote it on my phone (at work) and emailed it to myself. However, the quality of it was so bad that it was a nightmare to edit. I am never doing that again...

Chapter 5: You wasted all that sweetness to run and hide

"So where am I going to live?" Kyoko asked, still pouting a little for being forced out of her own home.

"The Tokyo Palace Hotel!" said Kimura-san cheerfully, taking pride in her selection. "I bet you're surprised!"

"Yeah… That's… great."

Apparently Kimura-san knew the manager of security at the Palace, and she'd gotten reassurances that they know how to protect celebrities. Normally, that kind of high-end hotel would be well outside of Kyoko's price range, but the President insisted that it would be considered a business expense and charged the room to LME. Everything was decided before they'd even told Kyoko where she was going to live, so there was no chance to protest the location. Even the room number wasn't up for debate. Kyoko couldn't believe her bad luck when they'd told her she was in room 205, literally next door to Shou.

Kyoko insisted that they could fit everything onto the luggage trolley in one load, because she didn't want too much back-and-forth in the hallway to pique Shou's interest. As it was, she hadn't seen any sign of Bastard #1, which was exactly how she wanted it to stay. Kimura-san left her around 4:00 pm to unpack her things on her own and get settled in.

Having just finished placing her clothes in the closet, she spun around to inspect her new room. The bedroom was larger than the one she'd had at the Darumaya, with a queen-sized western-style bed, a table and two chairs next to the large window and a dresser across from the bed with a TV on top of it. She found it hard to imagine why you'd need a TV in a bedroom, but it definitely made it feel luxurious. The bathroom was just off the bedroom, and the wall between the tub and bedroom was made of glass, which the young woman found a bit awkward but it did help make the bathroom seem bigger. The toilet was in its own room, thankfully. The place was decorated in soft greys and muted greens, giving it a modern atmosphere. For all she needed it for - sleeping, bathing, changing clothes - the room would suffice.

The day had passed as strangely as it could have, starting with that pseudo-intervention, then packing and finally moving in. Her acting work had been rescheduled by Kimura-san without warning, which left Kyoko feeling off-balance. It didn't help that, technically, today was her and Tsuruga-san's one-month anniversary. She figured that it had probably slipped his mind by now. As an adult, he probably didn't feel the need to celebrate every little milestone in a relationship. She, on the other hand, had been looking forward to it. She'd planned out the entire day, from how she'd take extra care with her skin in the morning, to "accidentally" bumping into Yashiro-san and Tsuruga-san around lunch time, to the drive Tsuruga-san had promised her. And of course, his present! What she hadn't expected was to be led along by her manager all day, packing and saying goodbye and feeling weird.

Kyoko flopped down on the bed, staring at the ceiling and wondering what Tsuruga-san was doing right now. With a twinge of anxiety she realized that, if they hadn't been fighting, they would have already left on their drive. He'd promised to take her to the coast so they could watch the sun set over the water. She'd offered to pack them a picnic supper, but he'd refused her, saying he had something special prepared. It didn't seem likely that they'd make any dinner reservation now, and he hadn't even called to ask her about it.

Guilt squeezed her heart.

I guess I'll order some room service, she figured, pouting a little. How romantic.

Her half-hearted sarcasm did little to help her mood, because it only reminded her that it was her fault that things ended up this way. If she hadn't lied to Tsuruga-san, and then avoided him because she was afraid of fighting, they would certainly be out on a wonderful date right now.

But what could she say? Admitting that she'd been spying on Shou would only hurt Tsuruga-san more, and would make him doubt their relationship. For some reason, he found it hard to understand that she didn't have romantic feelings for Shoutaro. Trying to explain that she'd only been worried about that idiot would sound too much like making excuses.

The best she could do would be to gloss over the subject of where she'd been when her phone was turned off and focus on the incident at the dress shop. Being photographed in that way, as hard as it would be for her to tell Ren, would certainly distract him from Shou. Though it had been mortifying, everything that had happened at the shop had been beyond her control. And, hearing what she'd gone through, there was no way that Tsuruga-san wouldn't want to hold her tight and comfort her. Thinking over his potential reactions, wanted so badly for him to tell her that everything was going to be alright because he would be there to protect her. Crawling her fingers across the bed, she imagined him laying beside her and wished that she could hold his hand.

The ceiling fan was making its 600th slow rotation above Ren's head. As pathetic as it was for a 22 year-old to get excited about a one-month anniversary, Ren had taken the entire day off in anticipation. Now that he wasn't sure where they stood, he was waiting for Kyoko to make the first move. It wasn't that he was being petty, although he kind of was, he just didn't want to back Kyoko into a corner. She hadn't explained to him why she'd been out after school, where she'd been or what had happened with the supposed "stalker". He was sure that if he pressed her for answers, all he'd get would be more lies. (He didn't buy her shopping excuse in the least.) But, the fact that she could lie to him and then ignore their anniversary bothered him a lot.

When he'd confessed his love to her a month ago, he'd laid everything out on the table: his real name, the blood that stained his hands and the reason he'd been incapable of searching out love, as well as the conflicting feelings he'd had for her since the filming of Dark Moon. That kind of extreme honesty had not been easy to share, but he'd felt it was necessary to face the Kyoko-chan from his childhood properly, openly. In the situation they were in now, it was hard not to feel cheated; when he'd bared himself completely to her, though he hadn't actually asked her to, he expected her to do the same. To him, these small secrets felt like massive betrayals.

But, he was - their relationship was - stronger than that. Though they might eventually fight about this issue, it wasn't something insurmountable. Really, he figured anything that a normal couple would fight and break up about would be nothing compared to what they've already gone through together. To make him stop loving Kyoko would require something so terrible, so completely unimaginable, it actually scared him. That's how devoted he was to her. Their relationship was like whole new and excitingly wonderful realm of love. Knowing that she accepted everything about him, all his darkness and faults, freed him from his past as if he'd been waiting for someone's permission to enjoy life. And that spirited, fairy-tale loving young woman had given it with her soft pink lips.

Raking the fingers of his right hand through his dark brown hair, his left reached for his phone on the bedside table. Checking it for the upteenth time that night, he was met with a blank screen: no new messages. Tossing the device on the bed, he curled up beside it.

Don't keep me waiting, Kyoko, he pleaded silently.

Picking up the hotel phone, Kyoko panicked when it connected. Do I really want this?

The other end picked up. "Front Desk, how may I be of service?"

"Ah, good evening, this is Mogami from room 205, could you please connect me to room service?"

"Of course. One moment please."

Once her food was ordered (pizza, by the way), Kyoko turned on the TV. There were movies on demand and pay-per-view available. She scrolled through the options absentmindedly, sitting propped up against the headboard, until she came across one of Tsuruga-san's movies. Seeing his face on the screen made missing him feel surreal. To think that the flesh-and-blood Tsuruga Ren was only a phone call away… That those big arms could be wrapped around her within minutes… That she had exclusive rights to those warm lips… And if she didn't call him, this movie would be the only way she'd see him.

Cellphone in hand, Kyoko was dialing Tsuruga-san's number before she had even decided what to say.

"Hello?"

Knowing that she was identified by his caller ID, she wondered if he was being purposefully cold by not greeting her by name.

"Hi Tsuruga-san, it's Mogami." Her voice was flat, trying not to get too emotional too fast.

"Mogami-san, good evening." His answer was succinct. No it's-good-to-hear-from-you or how-are-you-doing? or I'm-sorry-for-making-you-lie-to-me. For him to do away with the pleasantries meant that he was mad enough to forget that he was Tsuruga Ren.

"..."

Minutes passed.

"..."

Neither wanted to hang up but neither wanted to be the first to speak.

Finally Kyoko, knowing that she was in the wrong - and had been the one who called him - broke the silence.

"Umm happy anniversary…"

"Oh, so you remembered. Happy anniversary."

"What do you mean?" Kyoko replied, offended by the implication. "Of course I would remember! Just because we're fighting doesn't mean I don't love you."

Putting that last part on the back burner, Ren questioned smoothly, "We're fighting now?"

"Yes!" Kyoko exploded, caught up with emotional adrenaline. "You're mad because I lied to you and I was too afraid to apologize because I wasn't ready to break up!"

Ren's mouth went dry. "Wait, who's breaking up?"

"You are, with me. At least I think you will when you hear what happened…" The weird emotions that had followed her all day caught up with her brain. Suddenly Kyoko was crying.

"Kyoko... I have no intention of breaking up with you. Please let me come over and we'll talk this over properly."

Kyoko sniffed and nodded to herself. "I'm at the Tokyo Palace Hotel. Room 205."

"Ok I'll be there right away." His keys were in his hand before he'd even snapped his phone shut. Even though it wouldn't be exactly pleasant, he was glad that he was able to see his girlfriend on their anniversary.

While Kyoko waited, the pizza came up. She'd just greeted the attendant when the door to room 203 burst open.

"Hey, you forgot my chopsticks!" Shou complained loudly.

Oh. God. Kyoko mentally swore, having nearly forgot the little detail that her mortal enemy was living next door.

He jumped a few feet in the air upon recognizing his new neighbour. "You!"

Shoulders slouching, Kyoko sighed, preemptively exhausted from dealing with him. "Good evening Shou."

"What the hell are you doing here?! Spying on me again?" he spat, getting all worked up in his anger.

"For your information," Kyoko shouted, getting caught up in his rhythm (and completely forgetting the room attendant), "My living here has absolutely nothing to do with you!"

The frightened employee held the forgotten chopsticks like a shield on front of her.

Shou grabbed them and snorted. "Whatever. Their pizza sucks by the way. You should order the pudding."

He retreated to his room, slamming the door behind him.

Kyoko apologized to the room attendant and let her in to deposit the food. The woman felt the need to defend the pizza saying it was actually quite delicious and that she didn't know why he was talking about pudding, since they didn't even have pudding on the menu. On the other side of the wall Kyoko could hear the comedy variety show that Shou was watching. He must have turned up the volume to its maximum. Childish. She decided to ignore it.

Now that Shou knew she was next door, having Tsuruga-san over was starting to sound like a very bad idea. If Tsuruga-san found out... or if Shou were to ambush him… Yeah, this was going to be messy. She considered calling Tsuruga-san and cancelling for half a second, until she remembered why he was coming over in the first place: they were fighting and she needed to make it right. As long as she was cautious, and they kept their voices down, she figured that neither of the men would notice the other and everything would be fine.

A few minutes later, a loud knock at her door threw her into a panic. Not so loud! She ran over and yanked a very surprised Tsuruga inside by his shirt, hoping the knock hadn't been heard by the jerk next door. Holding her breath, she listened and waited to determine if Shou had noticed.

"Hello, Mo-"

"Ssh!" Kyoko silenced him, her ear inclined in Shou's direction. Thankfully the TV sounds from next door were as loud as ever. She sighed in relief.

"Uh Mogami-san?" Ren questioned, bringing her back to the present.

Looking up, she realized that she'd been holding the front of his shirt the entire time, with her body pressed up against his.

"Umm sorry!" she squeaked with reddened cheeks, releasing him and jumping back to an appropriate distance.

He gave her a concerned look. Kyoko realized that she was being a terrible host. "So this is my new place. Please make yourself comfortable," she gestured around and quickly pulled out one of the chairs for him to sit on, not wanting him to get any ideas about the bed. As he followed her into the room, the room seemed to shrink. Being alone with a grown man in a hotel room was making her nervous. "The door on the far side of the room leads to the toilet." she finished awkwardly.

As soon as Ren sat down, she asked him if he'd eaten dinner. He declined food, but Kyoko brought him a slice of pizza and a glass of iced tea anyway. Then, she settled herself on the bed, the way she'd been sitting before, trying to act casual but failing miserably.

"So Mogami-san..." he started, trying dissolve the weird atmosphere of the room. The sooner they talked everything through, the better.

Kyoko cut him off by turning on the TV and blasting the volume. If Shou were to turn off his program she didn't want him to overhear their conversation. Ren bristled at the action, annoyed at being interrupted. Kyoko explained sheepishly that she thought they might watch a movie while they ate.

As usual, her strange behaviour only made it clearer that she had a guilty conscience. Or maybe she is actually worried that we are going to break up? Ren resolved to show her that there was nothing to worry about. He picked up his pizza and settled himself on the other side of the bed, propping a pillow behind his back to make sitting more comfortable.

"What would you like to watch?" he asked, with forced calmness.

Having Tsuruga-san so close made thinking extremely difficult. Every muscle was so stiff with tension, she could've passed for a robot. She clicked the remote to select whatever movie she had been looking at before, pretty much at random. Ren chuckled. It was the only romance film he'd starred in throughout his entire career.

"That's a little... it makes me feel strange, watching myself act."

If she could have frozen up any more, Kyoko could have starred in a certain Disney movie. Her mind had been focussed on the noises coming from Shou's suite at the time, praying that he wouldn't get bored and come to pester her. Now she had to come up with a reasonable explanation for her odd choice. "Ah... I thought maybe... you could give me some behind-the-scenes commentary?"

An eyebrow was raised. "Is that so?"

However, Ren agreed to watch the movie. Each scene presented a learning opportunity to Kyoko, and she quickly got into a rhythm of asking questions about pacing and positioning or what his co-stars were like to work with. Falling into his "trusted sempai Tsuruga-san" role, he patiently explained every little detail, sometimes even pausing and rewinding the movie to solidify his point. He explained how they'd only gotten the sunset exactly right by coming to the same location three days in a row and the funny story behind his character's obsession with Pocky. Kyoko listened happily while eating her pizza. Surprisingly, his own slice had also disappeared at some point. And though they'd started the movie as far apart as they could be while still both being on the bed, by the end they were comfortably sitting shoulder-to-shoulder.

"The director was really specific about the facial expressions in this scene," Ren was saying about the climax of the film. "In the end, I got it right by imagining I was saying the lines to you."

"I've always loved you!" He shouted as the heroine stepped onto the train. "I tried to hide my feelings because I thought we couldn't have a future together... but the worst future I can imagine is one without you in it! "

His words echoed in Kyoko's ears as the movie ended. Ren reached for the remote, switching the TV off. The world had grown dark and quiet around them and they hadn't bothered turning on the lamp. Without the movie to distract them anymore, it suddenly felt intimate. In the back of her mind she noticed that Shou had turned his TV off or at least lowered the volume. Tsuruga-san had grown quiet as well. Lifting her big doe eyes, she found Ren watching her tenderly. His arm slid around her shoulders as he lowered his head to touch hers, forehead to forehead. Her pulse sped up.

"I love you Mogami Kyoko. And I have no plans to let you go." He kissed her softly on the top of her head and pulled her in for a hug.

It felt so good to be wrapped up in his warmth again. Hearing those words put her heart at ease enough that she could notice the little details. Her face was pressed into his collarbone and she could smell his cologne. Under her fingertips, she could feel his heart beating. They were so close, and it was making her forget the important things like apologizing and explaining what happened last night. Her impulses got the better of her. She licked her bottom lip, with nervous excitement. Slowly she lifted her mouth to his neck and planted a searing kiss just below his jaw. Her spine tingled with electricity and her face heated up a million degrees.

He tried to move his face down to meet hers but she held him tighter, tucking herself under his chin, hiding. If she let herself get any more carried away, she wouldn't be able to get the guilty feeling off her chest.

"I love you too... R-r-re… Kuon." Ren's arms tightened at the use of his real name. "And I'm sorry for lying to you. The truth is I..."

Suddenly she noticed a gentle melody floating into the room from Shou's direction.

Ren heard it too. He could tell it was distracting Kyoko and he really wanted her to stay in the moment. "It's probably just the radio next door," he soothed.

But Kyoko knew that song and it had never made it to the radio. It had always been her favorite of Shou's. It was a melancholic lullaby he'd written well before he became famous. He'd written it for his cousin when she was born. It was about a beautiful girl that he couldn't wait to love in the future, so if she'd forgive him, he'd start loving her today. The song was honest and pure, qualities she used to apply to Shou.

"Kyoko, please tell me what happened. I want us to move past this, but I can't if I don't know the whole story."

With the familiar melody settling around her shoulders, Kyoko found the courage to tell Tsuruga-san what happened at the dress shop. However, her eyes avoided his, restlessly wandering the room as if following the love story that the lyrics wove.

I don't need to meet you to know

how incredible you'll be

And being with you will only grow

these feelings inside of me

I can't wait meet you

I can't wait to see...

Waiting doesn't come to me eas-i-ly

But my love will last an eter-ni-ty

"That must have been terrifying," Ren said after a while.

At some point he'd started rubbing her back softly, in an effort to comfort her. Together in the dark, they were serenaded by Shou's lullaby. Their bodies relaxed bit-by-bit, Kyoko curling up against Ren 's chest and his arms carefully encircling her small body.

It must have been about half an hour later when Ren noticed that Kyoko wasn't upset any more. They both became aware of each other at the same time, alone in the hotel room. The temperature of Kyoko's back increased by several degrees as she came to terms with their compromising positions. With conflicting urges, Ren leaned down, bringing his face closer to Kyoko's. He made sure to leave an opening for her to push him away if she wanted to, but she didn't. Both of their hearts sped up as they locked eyes in the dark. Ren moved in, closing the distance between their lips, and this time Kyoko didn't shy away.

Their lips met hesitantly at first, Ren not sure when Kyoko would decide that they'd gone too far, which is something she did every time they kissed. But his warmth lit a fire inside her, and his cologne was all around her. It drove her to want to feel closer to him in a way she'd never wanted before. Pressing her lips harder against his, she brought her hands up to cup his face. Her enthusiasm called to Ren who then opened his mouth against hers licking the edge of her lip and then teeth and tongue as she let him in. It was like they melted into each other, hands caressing, faces pressed into the other.

Ren rolled Kyoko around so that he was on top, trapping her legs beneath him and then lowered his upper body deliberately. Kyoko couldn't believe how amazingly gorgeous he was. Her fingers tangled in his hair trying to bring his lips back to hers. He gave her only a small peck before nuzzling into her neck. Soft moans escaped her lips and her hands became busy sliding up and down his back. As Ren ventured further down her neck, placing kisses along her skin, Kyoko's hands grew bolder, reaching along his sides until she found his hip bone. The delicate caress of her small uncertain hands as they traced the edge of Ren's pants had him unhinged. Suddenly his lips crashed into hers wildly and their position shifted just enough that she felt him pressing against her thigh.

Shocked back to her senses, Kyoko pushed Ren away and sat up. It took her a moment to catch her breath and for that warmth spiraling through her to calm. It wasn't that she didn't like it, so much as she didn't understand what it meant. And that's what scared her.

Ren didn't need to ask what was wrong, but he did anyway because that was something a gentleman should do. He mentally berated himself for getting too carried away. The unbelievable sensation of her hands on his hips had made him subconsciously adjust into proper missionary position.

"Fine!" She squeaked breathlessly, her face redder than a tomato. "I'm fine."

"I'm sorry if I've made you feel uncomfortable."

"No it's not - I wasn't - it's just -" Kyoko sputtered in broken sentences.

"You aren't ready yet," Ren suggested softly to which Kyoko nodded in agreement.

Looking at his watch, Ren stood up and stretched. "I should be leaving anyhow. I've got a busy schedule tomorrow."

Kyoko gulped down the rest of her drink and got up to let him out.

"Goodnight Tsuruga-san."

Back to "Tsuruga", huh?

Ren crossed his arms sternly in front of the door. Her puzzled look asked him to explain what was wrong.

"I'm not leaving until you call me by my first name, Kyoko."

"Oh," she blushed. "Then goodnight R... Kuon."

Satisfied, he kissed the top of her head, smoothing her hair with his large hand. "Goodnight Kyoko. Happy anniversary."

He opened the door, letting himself out. Kyoko watched him leave, giving him a cute wave that he returned with a dazzling smile.

After the door shut, she turned around to face the empty suite that was her new home. Her nose lamented the loss of the food smells of the Daruma-ya. It was colder here, too, because she'd gotten used to the steam that rose from the kitchen to settle in her bedroom. That place had become her home, matching her identity and values so much more than this posh palace. But the thing she missed the most was how full of life the Daruma-ya had been. Regular patrons would welcome her home in the evening as if they were a part of her grab-bag mismatched family. Voices and laughter rose and fell, sometimes so loud that she'd have to put in earplugs to get some peace and quiet, but they reminded her that she wasn't alone. In her suite, by contrast, everything was so quiet… it felt like a grave.

Homesickness was something she'd never experienced before. Throughout her childhood, she'd lived and worked at Shou's parent's ryokan, but when she left, it was on a grand adventure with her prince charming at her side. Her new house was the fairy tale castle of her dreams, so she'd hardly given any thought to where she'd lived before. And after all of the drama with Shou, she'd bid good riddance to bad rubbish to the place that wasn't ever a castle at all. It was strange to think that it wasn't until she'd started living with the elderly couple of the Daruma-ya at age 16 that she'd found a place where she belonged.

She trudged over to the bath, figuring that it would help to put her more at ease. While she washed herself, she began humming to fill the silence. A few bars into the song, she realized that she was humming Shou's "Eternal Love". Her first reflex had been to stop altogether out of spite, but she resisted. It was actually a very beautiful song that she loved very much. Just because Shou had written it didn't mean that she had to hate it; and she didn't have to feel guilty about liking it either. Giving up such pointless habits felt soothing, like the angry tangles in her heart were finally getting brushed out.

Still humming to herself, she entered the bedroom wearing only a towel. Rummaging through her dresser drawers to find her pyjamas, she heard a responding strum of a guitar on the same verse that she'd just been humming. She quieted herself to see if Shou had been listening to her or if it had only been a coincidence. The guitar continued for a while and then dropped off again, almost like it would when Shou used to write music in the apartment. He'd play a few chords, stop and write something down and then continue playing, or start again from scratch. But the song he was playing was an old one, from when they still lived in Kyoto, so why would he be changing it now?

After changing into her pyjamas, she grabbed a pillow from the bed and settled herself against the wall adjacent to Shou's room. Just hearing him working on music made her feel less lonely. Eventually she nodded off to sleep.