Later than planned, but hopefully worth the wait

Let me know what you think :)

x x x x

Sara practically leapt across the apartment, fumbling with the lock before throwing the front door open.

However, in her rush to get to the door, she managed to forget every word in the English language.

As she stuttered helplessly, Catherine just smiled knowingly at her from the dimly lit hallway.

"Hi there." The blonde stepped forwards, pecking her lips in greeting.

"Hey." Sara finally managed to say, her cheeks flushing in embarrassment at her sudden muteness.

Cath continued to smirk at her, one eyebrow quirked in question.

"You going to let me in?"

"Right, sorry." Sara breathed, stepping aside. She swallowed hard as Cath's body brushed against her own, something which did not go completely unnoticed by the other woman.

"Wow, you almost couldn't tell what had happened here." She noted light-heartedly, surveying the flat. Sara had done a good job tidying up, although there were still subtle signs of the devastation that had occurred the day before. Gaps in the bookshelf and scuff marks on every hard surface.

Notably, the guitar was still present, although it had been swept into a small pile of debris in the corner. Evidently Sara wasn't quite ready to part with her most treasured item just yet.

Cath perched on the arm of the couch, crossing her legs patiently. It was obvious that Sara was anxious about this and she didn't want to rush her. Not to mention, the young brunette was undeniably cute when she was this nervous.

After a couple of minutes of watching the younger woman flit around the kitchen under the guise of making coffee, Cath cleared her throat.

"I don't bite you know." She quipped, offering a warm smile.

Sara paused, a guilty look crossing her features. Eventually she moved closer, placing the mugs onto the re-situated coffee table before dropping tiredly onto the couch.

"Sorry, I just … this feels so wrong." She mumbled, fidgeting awkwardly with the ends of her long sleeves.

"Wrong?" Catherine frowned, sliding down to join her.

"Not like that." Sara quickly corrected. "Just … the boys, Kirsty, everything…"

"I know." Cath cut her off, gripping her hand tightly where it sat between them. "But the boys don't know that I'm here." She'd fobbed Grissom off with some excuse about Lindsey. Ordinarily she would feel bad using her daughter like that, but this simply couldn't wait until tomorrow. It had nearly killed her having to wait this long. "Nothing has to happen yet." She continued gently.

"I know." Sara nodded gratefully, although the uncertainty in her eyes said different.

"But," Cath added with a sly smile, moving her hand to graze Sara's thigh with her fingertips. "You and I have some things that we need to discuss in private."

Things had gotten a little out of control on the roof last shift, and Cath was right they did need to talk. However, the electricity between them was undeniable and Sara could see Catherine watching her out of the corner of her eye, her lower lip pinned between her teeth seductively.

Feeling awkward under her scrutiny and needing to fill the silence with something; if for nothing else than to distract herself from their close proximity, she cleared her throat.

"I didn't slip in the shower. Kirsty pushed me."

"She what?" Catherine practically yelped, twisting in her seat to better see her companion. "She was there, in the lab?"

"Apparently." Sara shrugged. "I only caught a glimpse of her before I went down."

"Why didn't you tell me this sooner?"

"I don't know." She murmured bashfully. "I was scared of what else she might do. She was already getting suspicious. And then Hank kept calling me…"

"Hank?" Cath queried, her voice suddenly turned darker somehow. "What did he want?"

"What do you think?" She swallowed. "Kirsty never liked it when my past came up – she hated the fact that there was a part of me she couldn't control. And then she found out about me and…"

The brunette trailed of, suddenly aware that she hadn't actually told Catherine this yet.

The blonde, however, was way ahead of her.

"Sofia?" She filled in when Sara fell quiet. The younger woman blinked in surprise.

"How do you know about that?"

"She told me." Cath admitted with a small shrug. "She knows about Kirsty, too."

"She does?" Sara slunk down in her seat slightly. The thought of her ex knowing all about her current relationship made her feel slightly sick.

However, that did beg the question: why hadn't Sofia said anything? Lord knows, she was not exactly the type to hold back.

X x x

Sofia clenched and unclenched her fists nervously as she shuffled her feet outside the door. This was stupid, she told herself. She should just walk in and tell him straight, no messing about. In retrospect, she should have done this months ago; but her loyalty to Sara had encouraged her to keep quiet.

However, in light of the new developments, she realised that Sara was going to need more than just her silence to get through this unscathed.

Taking a deep breath, she raised a shaky hand to knock. At the grunt of approval she slipped around the door, making a point to close it behind her.

"Hey Sofia." Brass greeted with a familiar lazy smile. "What's up?"

"Jim." She cleared her throat apprehensively, moving closer to the desk but electing not to sit down yet. Depending how he reacted, she might need to make a quick exit. "I need your help. Well, actually Sara needs your help."

X x x

"Oh, God." She groaned, cutting through the silence that had fallen between them. Cath threw a concerned glance in her direction.

"What?"

"Right before she tore my apartment to pieces, Kirsty started to tell me something … about Sofia." Sara turned, eyes wide, to her partner. "Do you think Sofia said something to her? About ... everything?"

"I don't know honey." Cath shrugged helplessly, moving her hand to rest more firmly on Sara's thigh. "I don't know, but we'll sort this out."

"See, this is what I mean." Sara sighed, sinking back into the couch cushions. "It's too complicated, there's too much going on and I just ... I don't…"

"I know, Sar, I know." Catherine assured her, shuffling closer. "But we don't have to rush things."

She knew that Sara was right; it probably wasn't the best time to try pursuing a relationship. But once their true feelings had been vocalised, it felt like they were too close to back out now.

And things were pretty much over between Sara and Kirsty – as far as Sara was concerned anyway. So it wasn't technically cheating. It was just terrible timing.

Catherine moved her hand to Sara's arm, where she began doodling idle patterns on the inside of her wrist.

"Sara, you do want this, right?" She hadn't intended for it to come out so nervous.

"Of course I do." Sara assured her. "I just … I'm scared."

She cast her eyes down at Catherine's unconscious actions, tensing involuntarily at the influx of memories suddenly flooding her mind. The blonde followed her line of sight, noting that her fingertips were dancing over an old, faded scar. It was too old to have been left there by Kirsty.

She had noticed them before, of course. It was difficult not to. Every new piece of skin she had seen had revealed more secrets; more bruises dictating the story of Sara's history. They had never discussed it, although it had played on Catherine's mind often.

"She's not the first person to hurt you, is she?" She mumbled sadly.

Sara flinched, instinctively pulling her wrist free.

"I don't want to talk about that." She replied a little too harshly. However, now the subject had been broached Cath wasn't willing to drop it just yet.

"Sara, you don't have to hide anything from me." She pointed out calmly. "I've seen more than enough of you to know what's happened to you in the past."

Sara blushed at the comment, her dark eyes clouding over with something akin to shame.

Realising that she wasn't going to get far with that line of conversation, Cath changed tack slightly.

"Honey, you need to learn that it's okay to open up to some people. I'm not going to hurt you like they have."

"I know." Sara sniffed. "The logical part of me knows that, I just - it's instinctive to want to hide it."

"I know babe." Cath nodded carefully. "So, tell me what I can do to help."

"I don't know, I'm sorry." Sara shrugged sadly, burying her gaze in her lap. "I just … I want to be intimate with someone without feeling scared." She swallowed hard. "I can't really remember what that feels like."

Catherine shook her head, tears stinging at her blue eyes at the thought of what she must have gone through. Feeling the need to offer some comfort, she leant across and captured Sara's lips with her own.

She felt the girl stiffen briefly, before slowly relaxing into the kiss.

"You know," Cath mumbled against her lips. "Physical contact doesn't have to leave bruises."

Sara didn't trust herself to form an answer so she settled for a weak nod of agreement.

She did know that. She wouldn't have trusted Catherine with her secret if she didn't trust the woman. More than that, she felt comforted by her touch. Which is probably what lead her to deepen the kiss.

And they both know that what would happen next was inevitable.

But it still took Sara by surprise when she felt Catherine's hands slide up her back.

X x x

"Come on Greg, I know that you know something about this."

"Nick, pack it in!" The young man snapped. "I'm not telling you anything."

"Just give it a rest Nick." Warrick joined in impatiently. "Sara's not even in tonight, so you're not going to get any answers from her today."

"What about Cath?" The Texan pointed out.

"Grissom said she's coming in late – something about not having a babysitter for Linds until her sister gets off work."

"Which is why I'm asking Greg."Nick continued, turning back to the ex-lab rat.

"Well, find another spy because I'm not telling you squat." He insisted, filling his mug with coffee and moving towards the door.

"Come on man, we're going to find out anyway. You may as well tell us."

"There's nothing to tell!" Greg snapped. "Look, whatever's going on in Sara's life at the moment it's none of your business."

Nick narrowed his eyes suspiciously at his young mate.

"Is this anything to do with that illness Sara had a while back?"

"What illness?" Warrick piped up, his brotherly concern suddenly kicking in again.

"Yeah, it is." Greg ran a hand over his head, ruffling his styled hair. "But it's okay, she's … she's alright."

"Greg, what illness?" Warrick repeated, rising from the couch and stalking towards him with a threatening swagger.

Pinned against the centre bench by both of them now, Greg swallowed hard. This was precisely why he shouldn't be trusted with secrets; he was far too easy to break.

"It's, it's not an illness as such." He shifted awkwardly under their intense gaze. "It's something else."

X x x

Catherine sat up, wrapping the blankets around herself.

Sara was sat on the edge of the bed, her breathing laboured and her body visibly shaking.

"Sara, honey…" Cath reached out to her, but Sara cut her off abruptly before she could say any more.

"I'm sorry."

"No babe, it's alright." She assured her, shuffling across the bed while trying to keep as much of her underwear-clad body covered as possible. She reached out a tentative hand, placing it on the girl's arm. "We were probably moving too fast anyway."

Sara nodded slowly, although there was still guilt written across her features.

Somehow that comforting kiss had ended up in bed, until Sara had freaked out and put a sudden halt to proceedings.

"I want to," she mumbled, turning to face her. Tears were streaming silently down her face. "I just … with Kirsty, I …"

"Shush, it's okay." Cath pressed a finger to her lips, silencing her excuses. "You don't have to explain."

In truth, she wasn't sure she wanted to hear anymore about Sara and Kirsty's sex life. If it was anything like the rest of their relationship, it would probably make her feel ill.

However, Sara needed to get this off her chest.

"I can't stand her touch." She swallowed, shaking her head vehemently. "Whenever we're in bed all I can do is close my eyes and wait for it to be over."

"Sara, hon." Catherine stopped her again. "It's alright. We can wait."

She leant across the gap between them, wrapping Sara into a hug. This time when they skin brushed together Sara didn't pull away.

"Thank you." She mumbled against Cath's ear.

Without loosening her grip, the blonde tugged her back under the covers, until they were curled up together against the headboard.

Eventually Sara lifted her head, which she'd managed to tuck into the crook of Cath's neck.

"I'm sorry. I know I'm not the easiest of people to be around right now." She mumbled sadly. Cath released a slow breath, blowing wisps of flyaway brunette hair aside.

"Sara, you are not the problem." She reiterated, pressing her lips to the woman's temple. "And we can wait as long as you need."

Sara smiled bashfully, nodding in agreement.

"You need to recover first." Cat continued. "But I can help with that. You just have to trust me." She let her hands begin to roam up and down Sara's back, tracing the path of her spine with light caresses.

Sara let her eyes drift closed, and Catherine thought she'd fallen asleep when a soft voice whispered against her neck.

"I do trust you."

X x x

Sara carefully climbed out from Catherine's fierce grip, managing to escape with only a few disgruntled grumbles from the blonde. She pulled a t-shirt on over her current, limited attire and tucked the blankets back around her dozing supervisor.

As much as she loved the feeling of being wrapped in Catherine's arms, she was too wired to sleep and her shuffling would only wake the woman.

And, since she couldn't play her guitar anymore, she did the only other thing that might settle her.

She began to cook.

X x x

Kirsty stared at the tiny little flame flickering on the end of the match.

In the narrow, dim hallway it was casting shadows far bigger than itself.

After lodging her complaint with Sofia, some regrets had started to settle on her conscience. She'd even considered retracting it.

But then she'd had another idea. She was sure that Sofia would have told Sara by now, and the brunette was probably scared to death about what this could do to her career – not to mention her relationship with her precious team.

And thus, Kirsty had the perfect bargaining chip. If Sara were to forget about Catherine and take her back, she would retract the accusation and they could start again. Sweep everything under the rug, so to speak.

Conveniently, it was Sara's night off. The perfect chance to talk to her alone.

She'd been sat outside the flat in her car, contemplating how to do this. She needed to start out apologetic – Sara's defences would be on full power at the moment so she'd need to sound genuine if she was going to get through the door.

But just as she was ready to face this task, ready to put the whole untidy mess to bed and start again, something caught her eye across the parking lot.

Her.

That red-haired home-wrecker, sashaying up to Sara's apartment with a laidback smile on her face.

That was over and hour ago and there was no sign of Catherine coming out anytime soon.

The match was nearly burnt out now.

Stepping away from the wall she'd been leaning against, she cast a final glance up at the building.

One tiny little match wouldn't do a great deal of damage to a building this size.

But a petrol bomb would.

With a final cold stare, she flicked the match in the general direction of the gas canister, sitting inoffensively by the wall.

Glancing again down the hall, she could almost picture Catherine and Sara together, wrapped in each other's embrace. Not for long though, she smiled to herself as a bright flash illuminated the corridor.