This will probably be the only Procrastination AU oneshot to be a twoshot. It's so close in the timeline that there's no point uploading it as a oneshot, really. Even if it's stupidly longer than it should be argh.
Next update will be for either Light and Dark or TWEYHO I swear on my unfilled grave oTL
Unbeta'd, my mistakes are a dusty old attic.
Sugoroku Muto is shaken awake by the resurrected pharaoh from three thousand years ago and doesn't really question it. He learned that lesson when it came to Yugi's friends a long time ago, when Jounouchi appeared at his front door. Yugi's bully was soaking wet, holding the missing puzzle piece that had broke Yugi's heart, and explained everything about what had happened to it, along with Ushio's extortion.
The living room is a mess. There's salt, twigs and leaves scattered everywhere. A bowl of what he dearly hopes isn't blood is spilled all over the carpet. Seto Kaiba, who he hasn't seen since he stole his Blue Eyes and put him in a coma, is standing awkwardly around, alternating his gaze between Yugi, Atem, the door to the kitchen and another boy on the couch. Judging by the white hair, that's Bakura. He could've sworn Yugi mentioned someone else was coming too - one of the Ishtars, the youngest? There was no sign of him.
"You're all very lucky his mother's not here," he decides to say, in lieu of asking what's going on. Yugi and Kaiba both flinch at the sound of his voice, though only Kaiba tries to pretend it didn't happen. He's still never apologized for what he did, although he keeps getting notices from the bank of someone paying off the mortgage on the house for that month before he even opens his checkbook. He'll never let himself use Yugi's tournament winnings, or let Yugi pay it with them for that matter, but he can accept that.
Yugi looks a little dazed from his spot on the floor. His hand is clamped down over his neck. "I'm sorry Grandpa, we didn't mean to wake you up."
"Atem made it sound like you were dying, so I thought you'd got a paper cut."
That manages to drag a laugh out of Yugi, at least, while Atem blushes. Carefully, he pulls Yugi's hand away. The wound has that raw look of freshly stopped bleeding. It's not deep; it breaks the skin but he can't see any veins or arteries that have been damaged. No need for stitches, at least. It won't scar so long as he doesn't pick at it so knowing Yugi he'll probably end up making it look terrible. Still, nowhere near the worst bite he's ever seen. It reminds him of the bite he got from a dog he met a long time ago, when he was a grad student assisting on a dig near Nairobi. A stray puppy nipped him out of fear when he tried to pet it and ran away. The frantic rush to the nearest hospital and rounds of injections with the biggest needles he'd ever seen were worth it.
I wonder how that little thing ended up?
"Who's responsible for this?"
What follows is a confusing babble, not helped by either Kaiba or Atem's interjections, quickly explaining how they resurrected the ancient human form of an evil spirit that once possessed Bakura. He almost destroyed the world twice, for somewhat justifiable (if easily taken advantage of) reasons, and caused a whole lot of trouble before Yugi, Atem and the others were able to stop him. For some reason, Bakura decided that he would retrieve this human form from the afterlife, and nobody else thought to question it. Ah, friendship. He's heard the other half of this story before, at least the one that leads to Atem's return, though he'd always been left curious about the 'thief king'.
Said resurrected human however - apparently also named Bakura, and that's going to get confusing very quickly - doesn't believe any of this in the slightest, at least as far as Yugi knows. Convinced he's in an illusion, he's attacked Yugi and ran off, with Malik giving chase.
Yugi looked down at the floor as he finishes. "It was my fault; I grabbed him and he freaked out. I should've never touched him, at least not without asking."
"That doesn't mean he had the right to bite you. He's capable of rational decisions."
Yugi's shoulders slump. "I'm really not so sure about that. He doesn't think we're real."
"If that really was the case, he wouldn't have ran. Where is he?"
The kitchen door is ominously shut as Kaiba points to it. "In there. Ishtar's in there too - he's supposed to be getting the first aid kit."
"I'll send him through."
"Grandpa, are you sure?" Atem asks. He's never referred to him as anything else. Odd, considering technically he's older than even the earliest ancestor Sugoroku can trace back for himself, but it's sweet either way.
"I can handle him."
"Ah, there you are Malik! Could you go back and see to my grandson for a while? I need a word with our new friend here."
"Be my guest."
Malik shuts the door behind him so nobody could eavesdrop. Good lad he is, even if he seems oddly afraid of him as he leaves. The kitchen is quiet and he can pick up on Oldnew Bakura trying to hide the sound of himself breathing when he turns up the volume on his hearing aid. Or, judging by how rapid and shallow his breaths are, hyperventilating.
"I'm not going to ask why you bit my grandson. I don't think you know the answer either, but don't you think you're getting out of apologizing!" he says to the space where the strange oldnew Bakura hides. The sound stops almost entirely, though too late since he still knows exactly where he is. Reflexes obviously aren't quite what they used to be; he can sympathize. He's in the spot Yugi used to use as a child in hide and seek, then cry until someone freed him because he couldn't get back out. "I do want to know why you're still hiding back there. Surely an old man isn't anything to be scared of. Come on out."
There's a rattling sound from behind the fridge. "Stuck," he eventually answers, sullen. Like any other pouting teenager and not someone who worked for literal demonic forces.
"I can tell. That's an old fridge; the pipes might as well be a rat's nest! What's caught?"
"Just my foot."
Not good - Yugi's had the mild burns to prove that that's not a place he wants him trapped for long. It gets remarkably hot back there. "You know, I once read a story about a young man who cut his own arm off to free himself from a boulder. Want a knife?"
"No."
"What's the problem?"
"..."
"You don't think any of this is real anyway, do you? So, cutting off your own foot shouldn't matter." The gap at the side is just large enough for him to push his trusty old pen knife through. He's had that thing since he was ten and his own grandfather decided to teach him how to whittle. "Go on."
Bakura stares at the knife as it clatters by his feet, one of which looks painfully jammed between two copper pipes. "... Don't feel like it," he eventually mutters, not meeting his eyes even through the tiny gap.
"So much for the Thief King. 'Starved to death behind a fridge' doesn't make for a very good ending. Unless I'm just so incredibly scary that you're waiting for me to leave first?"
That gets his attention. "Calling me a coward?" he says, his voice low and perhaps three thousand years ago a shiver would've ran down Sugoroku's spine, but not now.
Sugoroku returns to his chair, his back cricking as he settles back down. "You're insisting this isn't real, but you're refusing to prove it in the easiest way possible. So... yes, actually."
There's a louder rattle, one that sounds angrier. "Fuck you! You don't know who you're messing with!"
"I don't think you do. I've stared down the barrel of a gun more times than I can count. I've ran through war-zones that officially don't exist. I've climbed mountains and crossed oceans, knowing they'd be my lonely grave if anything went wrong. A long time ago, perhaps you and I weren't so different. But now?"
The tip of the knife grazes his throat. His hand grips the boy's wrist. "All you are right now," he continues without hesitation, "is too scared to face the truth. You don't actually want this to be real, do you? Because that would mean you'd have to live again and you have no idea what that means."
His wrist is terribly thin - he can almost touch his thumb and forefinger around it. The image Yugi had conjured was someone who radiated power and seemed to tower over them. The starved reality is good for slipping out of a guard's grip or shackles, or running for his life for miles, not so much for fighting someone who knows more than brute force. He even seems shorter than Bakura.
An old man shouldn't be strong enough, or fast enough, to halt a blade from him regardless. He can't want him dead that badly, at least. Just a little tantrum, and he's been on the receiving end of worse. He's definitely not ending up in a hospital bed this time, that's a plus!
He lets go and waits. The blade slowly drops as he lowers his arm, until it hangs loosely at his hip. Oldnew Bakura's shaking just like that dog did, his hair falling over his face; the slightest push and he doesn't know if Oldnew Bakura will bite back again or crumble.
"Would you look at that? You didn't need to cut your foot off after all." Sugoroku takes the knife from his hands without any resistance, folds it shut and gives it back. He's got plenty of better knives that were also treasured gifts from his own grandpa - one won't be missed. It's better off with someone who'll feel safer with it, anyway.
"Why?"
"If you don't want it..."
He looks down at the blade, then pockets it somewhere in those dark red robes. Then, he's just a lost soul in a house, a century he was never supposed to see. Not lost after all, he decides. At least not anymore. Bakura found him and stole everything he was, from his name to his spark of life, straight out of the clutches of eternal darkness. Surely that means he's now earned the title of 'Thief King'.
"What do I do now?" he asks, like he's never had anyone willing to guide him before. Or never let anyone besides the voice in the shadows and ghosts even try. Sugoroku would curse the demon that tormented this boy and twisted his heart, but it's already dead. He'd curse the people who woke the demon up in the first place, but they're dead too.
He can't hold his hand, but he can at least give him somewhere to start. "First you can apologize to my grandson for biting him. Then accept his apology for grabbing you, since I'm sure he feels terrible about that. Then maybe all of you brats can clean up, because I'm not going to be the one explaining leaves and blood stains on the new carpet to my daughter."
"Except my host," he points out with an unexpected urgency. He's not heard many positive things about their relationship, so this is... strange, to say the least. "He's out cold, he should rest."
"Except Bakura, yes. When he wakes up, let him know he owes me a box of those nice chocolates they sell at the Domino Museum's cafe for performing an occult ritual to resurrect the dead in my living room."
Without inviting me!
"... Right."
He lets Oldnew Bakura (and he really needs to come up with something better than that!) collect himself in the kitchen for a moment and returns to the living room alone.
Yugi's curled up against Bakura's back, although he can't tell if he's asleep or just dozing. Someone - probably Atem - has pulled a blanket over the pair though he can still see the thick bandage taped to Yugi's neck. Speaking of which, Atem's clearly tried his hardest but the boy was born with a golden spoon in his mouth and has likely never had to clean his own cup before, let alone a room all by himself. It looked better before he got involved; all the twigs have broken into sharp splinters and heaven help him find a detergent strong enough to tackle the now drying blood stains.
Kaiba's gone without a trace now that the excitement's over while Malik's in a daze, staring at the ceiling like he's hoping the bulb dangling above can solve all his problems. Can't be good for his eyes. He glances over at Sugoroku and seems momentarily surprised that he's not dead. He'll let the... former? Prior? Perhaps first. It'll do. He'll let First Bakura tell him what went on in there.
"Yugi's resting," Atem says.
A sleepy mumble that sounds a little like 'No I'm not' makes him shake his head in disapproval. Sugoroku pulls the blanket back and he sits up, rubbing his eyes and wincing a little.
"Sorry about the room."
"It's alright Atem - go get the rug out of the attic. With any luck I can hide it for now and convince his mother that's just a wine stain later."
He absolutely cannot, because his daughter is the smartest person he's ever known and wouldn't be fooled for a second, but Atem doesn't need to know that. He runs off, for what will hopefully be a while. The latch on the attic is notoriously faulty and loves locking itself. He's not taught Atem the trick to freeing himself yet and with any luck, Yugi's never gotten around to it either. Perhaps with his former greatest foe out of sight, First Bakura will come out of the kitchen of his own free will.
He's been told Malik is a master at reading body language and manipulating others with his own. The fact that Sugoroku can see his shoulders relax just a little bit when Atem leaves says otherwise. Or maybe he's just done with acting out that persona today. "Your little friend in the kitchen is fine, too. I hope you three have some idea of what to do with him?"
"Depends on what he wants to do," Malik eventually answers, a little too casually. "He's welcome to stay with Ryou, I think. My place too."
"And here, right?" Yugi pipes up.
Malik grimaces. "I don't think he'll want to be anywhere near Atem."
"Oh, yeah... Maybe not."
"Do any of you have a plan for after that?"
Malik simply shrugs, while Yugi looks at his hands with sudden intense interest. Honestly, kids these days. He bets none of them have even thought about what he's supposed to wear, especially in this weather. "Alright then, how about we get him used to the present, before we start asking about the future?"
"Works for me."
Malik nods in agreement, then tenses as the kitchen door creaks open, and First Bakura peeks out. "Hey," he says quietly.
"Hey," Malik and Yugi respond in unison.
He opens the door a little wider, though still remains mostly behind it. "I'm possibly starting to come around to the idea that this is real."
He'll let that lie slide, at least for now; his pride's had enough of a beating for one day. Knowing Yugi, he'll pick up on the reality of First Bakura's fears in good time.
"That's good," Yugi replies. "I'm sorry for tackling you like that before, by the way."
"Sorry for biting you." he eventually stammers out. He's obviously never had to apologize to anyone before, at least not to anyone living. Then he looks around. "So where did that asshole go?"
"You're gonna need to be more specific." Malik answers.
"The shitty past Yugi."
"'Shitty past Yugi' was the first person to agree to help Bakura get you back," Yugi snaps suddenly. "Just so you know."
That actually manages to surprise him. "Why?"
"I... I don't know, actually. I don't even know why Bakura wanted you back in the first place, let alone why Atem would consider helping."
That's clearly not the answer First Bakura wants by the way he shies away from the door. It's not the answer Yugi wants either. As for Malik, well... He's got his guard back up even with Atem clattering around in the attic.
Bakura suddenly moves, rolling over without waking while mumbling some nonsense, drawing all their attention. "Why don't you all take a page from his book and get some rest?" Sugoroku says as Bakura's own slumber reminds him of how late it is. "None of you are thinking clearly. We can leave Bakura on the couch and I'll keep an eye on him, so you can use my room - there's some fresh sheets in the closet. Malik, you can have the spare room if you're happy to stay over. I don't think any taxis will be out in this weather. Or time, for that matter."
Malik seems genuinely surprised at the offer. He doesn't know what he's done to make Malik think he's the kind of man who'd kick him out into the raging snow, but hopefully this will help change his mind.
"I can watch my host. Don't need a bed."
"Should I get you another blanket or something?" Yugi says.
"I won't be sleeping."
Sugoroku's not sure if he wants to believe those those eyes or the shadows growing underneath them, and judging by the intense stare Malik holds he's having the same trouble, but he lets First Bakura have his way.
"What about all this mess, Grandpa?" Yugi asks.
"You can take care of it in the morning - your mother's not back until the day after tomorrow. We've got time. Oh, and let Atem out of the attic when you go to bed."
Yugi stares at him blankly for a second, then figures it out and sighs like he's disappointed, though a smile can't be stopped from breaking through as he climbs the stairs. "Alright. 'Night Grandpa, guys."
He pauses for a second. "I know this is weird, but it's good to see you again. I mean it."
First Bakura doesn't say anything. Malik leaves next, after a staring contest that lasts far too long for it to be simple intimidation.
"Are you sure you'll be alright down here?" Sugoroku asks once the slightly awkward air clears.
First Bakura perches on the edge of the couch. Before he can answer Bakura sits upright suddenly, eyes open but blank, like a sleepwalker. After a moment of consideration, Bakura grabs his arm and lays back down again, dragging his captive along with him and immediately closing his eyes again.
He's got that deer in the headlights look now as his former host transforms him into a convenient pillow. It's an improvement over 'scared dog', at least.
"Never mind," he says. "I think you'll be just fine."