The Story
By: KellyCRocker59
Part Four
Breathe
Sean did a lot of running. Running in the mornings, shirtless across the beach with sand giving way beneath his feet. During football practice, stop and start, joints locking. Up the stairs at Holden's beckoning, a blur of movement with clothes jettisoned from his body.
Holden did not run. When he exercised, it was on an elliptical or a spin machine, legs kept in a very exact motion so as not to leave much to his coordination. He would sweat a grotesque amount. The worst part was that there was no point in his exercise routine that left him glistening in the sexy way weightlifters always did after hitting their maximum repetitions. Holden was not a sexy man, and certainly not so when he was exercising.
When Sean asked him to go for a run one morning, Holden refused. When he offered again a few days later, Holden once again refused. Weeks later, after numerous requests, Holden finally agreed to run with Sean. Dressed in the most cardio-enthusiast t-shirt and shorts he possessed, he joined Sean, all toned and strong bare torso and sweats outside their home.
"I usually run to the edge of the beach and back. It takes about thirty-five, maybe forty minutes. You ready?" Sean asked.
Holden nodded, steadying his breath. And like that, Sean was off, Holden stumbling into a jog behind him. At first he kept a decent pace, but within ten minutes, the sand beneath his feet felt like a vacuum. He had passed the point of sweat by the twenty-five minute mark and felt like an ogre who had abandoned his swamp mid-morning. Finally, as his legs quivered and his lungs struggled to keep up with his need for oxygen, Sean stopped in front of their home, breathing heavy but hardly breathless. He turned to Holden.
"Feels good, right?"
Holden limped to a chair on the patio and deposited himself there, panting as his muscles eased to rest. Sean walked over to him, hands on the waistband of his sweats. Holden looked up at his smile, full of playfulness.
"What, was that a little rough?"
"You're legitimately insane. Not like, 'oh, look I'm crazy and quirky, I'm so cute'. No, Sean, you are actually psychologically broken if you think there is any enjoyment to be had in that." Holden replied, taking a deep breath and bowing his head. Sean laughed as he stood over him, draping him in shade.
"You'll get used to it, I'm sure. I mean, that was your first time running in sand, wasn't it? It gets a lot easier."
Holden shook his head. "I'm just going to need to go shower right now. We can talk about this elusive 'again' some other time."
"You want me to join?" Sean asked as Holden pried himself up from the seat.
"Honestly, you would get about zero enjoyment from a mutual shower at this moment, so I think it's best if you wait."
He left Sean outside on the patio to bathe in the shine of the morning. After he showered, he returned downstairs to find Sean with a college t-shirt on, still dressed in his sweats, swinging his car keys around his finger. Holden raised an eyebrow.
"I wanted to thank you for going out for a run with me, so I figured we could go get some coffee?"
Holden sighed, leaning against the bannister. "Sounds perfect. Maybe we can discuss some sort of intervention for your obsessive desire for cardiovascular health?"
Sean just laughed and ushered him to their car.
Untouchable
The sky was a mirage of golden yellow overhead. Holden had spent hours of the night studying the stars overhead, searching for answers to questions he knew he could not answer himself. He had never been particularly religious, but in his mid-twenties what had begun as a fad diet had turned into a deep spirituality. Now, he yearned for some sort of justification for this life that was slipping through his fingers.
The cool wind was the harbinger of the autumn weather fast approaching. He was not used to the nights like this, spent out on a porch with a star-kissed sky and a luminescent moon. It was almost disconcerting; he had never experienced the vast quality that the sky possessed at night. His childhood had been offices and skyscrapers, unrelenting concrete and apathetic faces.
His eyes were diverted from the sky as a hand landed on his shoulder, a gentle hold that urged him to turn to look at the face paired with it. Sean held a mug of hot chocolate and was dressed in a warm sweater, lines of stress eased away by the comfort of his hometown.
"You alright?" He asked, taking a seat beside Holden.
"Yeah, just…thoughtful, I guess." Holden mumbled, twisting the ring on his finger.
"You can talk to me about it, babe. I mean, if we're really gonna do this, it's kind of necessary that we discuss our issues." Sean coaxed.
Holden sighed. "It's nothing. I mean, it shouldn't be anything, I guess. But it is. It's me, getting lost in my head again, basically."
He looked up and Sean was leaning forward, studying him. Holden sighed and continued, averting eye contact.
"I didn't expect your parents to be so…cold. I mean, I wasn't exactly expecting a warm welcome, but I guess I thought that if they saw us together, if they really got a sense of what we're doing here, they would be more understanding."
Sean grabbed Holden's hand with his free one, linking their fingers together. Holden chanced a look up at him, and something behind the other man's gaze stole the chill from his body.
"It's going to be alright, okay? I mean, I was hoping for a better reception too, but I've known them my whole life, and the only thing they hold a higher standard to than family is traditional values. My mom…it's probably going to take years, honestly. But those years I'll have you, and we'll be happy. Lots of family dinners at your folks' place, if that's okay by them."
Holden nodded. "My dad has been endlessly devoted to you since you two met. He probably looks forward to Thanksgiving now more than I do."
"And you do love your Chinese takeout." Sean added.
Holden smiled and clasped Sean's hand between both of his. "That I do, that I do."
They sat there in silence for a while, a long while of neither of them speaking, before Sean stood with mug in hand. He gave Holden's hand a slight tug.
"Come on; you've been out here way too long. Let's get you warmed up."
Holden grinned, jumping to his feet. "Sounds perfect."
As Sean led them back inside, Holden would have sworn that he could see the stars spelling out their names.
Drive
There was dust flecked along the cracked mirror and a stench permeating from the trashcan. The white sink was chipped and the graffiti decorated the toilet. Sean took a breath, careful where he settled his hands on the sink as white dribbled from it. He closed his eyes, inhaled, exhaled, and then left. Holden was waiting at the cash register, bag of almonds and a mixed bottled coffee in hand. He eyed Sean with a furrowed brow as he approached.
"You want me to take over for a few hours?"
Sean shook his head. "I'm good until the next stop. I'll just grab an energy drink and call it good."
He headed to the cooler, snatching the least offensive and most oversized can before heading to the register where Holden was getting ready to shell out money for his snacks. Sean nudged him aside, set his drink down and handed the cashier a twenty.
"You don't have to always pay for my stuff, Sean."
Sean flashed him his teeth. "Yeah I do, babe. Part of the job description."
Holden snorted but gave him a light push of his shoulder as he grabbed his almonds and drink. Sean got his change, watching the cashier as he looked from Holden to Sean and then back to Holden, who was heading toward the exit. There was a light behind his eyes that Sean knew too well.
"You out of change or something?" He questioned, feeling blood pulse to his brain.
The cashier shook his head a few times and reached into the open register, issuing the correct amount into Sean's hand.
"Have a nice night." He mumbled as Sean left.
"Yeah you too, dude." Sean replied shortly, walking outside. Streetlights illuminated the parking lot, and he spotted Holden standing outside the SUV, massaging his forehead.
"You sure you don't want to take a nap?" Sean asked, caressing Holden's shoulder. The other man shook his head.
"Naw, I'm good. I have to keep you company, anyway."
"You have anymore surprises hidden on your iPod?" Sean asked as Holden circled the vehicle and he climbed into the driver's seat. Holden took his seat, immediately fishing the device out of the cup holder.
"I don't know; you'll just have to wait and see."
"I don't know if I can handle much more Cyndi Lauper." Sean responded, shoving the keys into the ignition.
"She only has three good songs and we listened to all of them already. Don't worry."
Some odd 80's synths started blasting from the speakers and Sean cracked open his beverage and took a gulp before pulling out of the parking lot.
"How many hours until we get to your sister's house?" Holden asked.
"About four hours." Sean replied.
"Great; just enough time to run through my comprehensive best of disco playlist." Holden laughed as Sean glared his way. "Just kidding; I think I'm feeling some No Doubt, actually."
"That's a bit better." Sean said, turning his attention back to the deserted city road.
"So…you said your sister's a good cook." Holden began.
Sean nodded. "Probably the best I know."
"But does she know how to make a good pecan pie?"
"Trust me, your palette is safe with her."
"I think you underestimate my culinary aptitude. I didn't order a pecan pie this year from my favorite bakery because you said she was the messiah of the kitchen. There's a lot riding on this."
Sean ran a hand through his hair. "Are you sure you aren't just nervous to meet the rest of my family?"
Holden shrugged. "Not really. Maybe. A little bit."
Sean grasped his hand, settling them on the armrest. Holden visibly slouched in his seat and rested his head back.
"It's going to be great, babe. I promise."
"I hope your right."