Chapter 2

When Lexie told Bo Carly had taken a leave of absence, fresh guilt washed over him like a tidal wave and for a while he wondered if Carly was coming back at all. What she had to put with more than half the town; including the family she once called her own was bad enough but from him; it was really unforgiveable. Daniel didn't even have to point it out; he really hurt Carly terribly. After the love they'd shared, after the special moments and promises, he'd let her down. And he knew her very well; behind the stolid front she put up she was suffering. Much as he loved Carly; his long history with Hope couldn't be ignored thus their reconnection on the run. And when they'd returned, Carly had calmly and tearfully released him. But what did he expect from Carly Manning? Her loved ones always came first; and always at her expense and her noble action had broken his heart; he knew the other reason behind it- he hadn't given her any choice.

'We both know that I was only there until Hope came back... or rather until you felt she needed you more than I did.'

He winced at the bitter tone in her voice and her appearance; she looked very pale and the green eyes has lost their lustre. She was suffering terribly because of him.

'That's not true.' He denied. 'My feelings for you were real; I loved you.'

'I don't believe anything you say any more.' Her voice was harsher now. 'Any more than I believe that when we were making love, you weren't thinking about Hope! When you kissed me at the pier and said you loved me, you weren't thinking about her!'

'How can you actually think ...!' he snapped, appalled.

'I saw you both laughing and kissing at the pier; like nothing ever happened!' she spat, tears pouring down her cheeks. 'I was nothing but a stand-in; a convenient stand-in until she decided she wanted you to be her husband again! As long as you felt Hope didn't want you, you were available!'

'Oh my God...' he reached out towards her but she shrank away from his touch. 'Carly...'

'You were the one who begged me not to leave Salem again; you said you wanted a future with me. And it was a lie!' she sobbed finally. 'All lies! I can't believe that you, of all people would hurt me this way!'

Every reproach felt like a rock hitting him. He wanted to take her into his arms and tell her it wasn't true; his love for her had been real; his promises sincere. But with what she'd seen how could he ever convince her?

'I know I've hurt you.' He said finally. 'You don't deserve all this; all that's happened. I really wish things could have been different...'

'Go straight to hell, Bo Brady.' she shouted. 'You used me and then cast me aside so the least I can do now is return the favour!'

Turning her heel, she opened the door and left, slamming it behind her.

I can't believe that you, of all people would hurt me this way...that sentence haunted him the most. But there was nothing to do about it; he'd made his choice and there was no going back; Ciara was thrilled they were a family again. He could only hope time would heal Carly and maybe somehow enable her find it in her heart to forgive him.

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Adrienne Kiriakis shrewdly observed that though her old friend's emerald-green eyes still held a hint of sadness; her lovely face was rosy and serene again. For that reason, she wisely didn't bring up Bo's name as they chatted over drinks at The Cheating Heart.

'Will you and Justin be going back to Dubai any time soon?' Carly asked.

Adrienne shook her head. 'We talked about it but then we decided we'll make Salem our home again. It's always been; more than anywhere in the world.'

'I know what you mean. And after all, your proficient description was what led me here in the first place, no?'

Adrienne chuckled. 'Even with everything that happened here over the years; Salem has its charms. And the ones who leave it always find their way back.'

'Well, I'm one example; on two counts.'

'Two? Where you planning on setting up house in D.C?'

'I seriously thought about it when Frankie asked me to live with him but in the end I couldn't do it. Salem's still my home and besides, I lost a lot of years with Melanie; I didn't want to lose more now that we're really close.'

'I'm glad to hear that.' Adrienne hesitated before asking the question on her mind. 'How is she dealing with Daniel dating Jennifer?'

Carly was no fool; she knew what Adrienne really meant. 'She likes Jennifer and she thinks it's great Daniel's found someone else after what Chloe and Phillip did to him. And so am I, if that's what you want to know.'

'I don't mean anything by it, Carly. It's just when you left, Jennifer sort of thought that it was because of them; that perhaps you had feelings for him; he being Mel's father. She felt so guilty and worried.'

'The fact that we share a daughter doesn't automatically make him mine. He is and always has been my friend.' Carly toyed with the glass in front of her. 'If I was resentful of their relationship it wasn't because I was jealous. It was because...' she bit her lip. 'Because everyone I knew were having a happy ending. Them, you and Justin... even Melanie's gotten over Phillip and is now with Dario Hernandez. And Maggie, though she can do way better has Victor in her life.' Carly bowed her head. 'It would have been easy for me to stay in D.C after all but I suppose the other reason's pride.'

'No, not pride my friend.' Adrienne squeezed her arm. 'You're a lot stronger than you actually realise; a much weaker person would've left without looking back. Even with what happened, you're staying strong and I admire you for that.'

'I hardly think your husband would agree with you. He and Victor probably think I'm the proverbial woman scorned.'

'I know Justin acted like a jerk to you and I called him out on that when he told me. As for Victor he's an old fool and his opinion doesn't matter. There are still some people who still remember the real you. I'm one of them and I'm saying to you now... you're the same Carly I know; wonderful, strong and loving.'

''You're a strong, confident; generous person. Hey...' he held her face with his palm. 'You're still the same Carly Manning I fell in love with."

Carly blinked, forcing the memory away. Memories only broke the heart. 'Thanks. In many ways it's easier to talk to you about all this than with Jen. I still love her but her loyalties are now divided and I don't want her getting caught in the middle. I'll let her know that I'm happy for her and Daniel, that she has nothing to worry about... or feel guilty about.'

'That will certainly be a load from her mind. I think she's finally gotten over Jack.'

'Daniel's a keeper; unlike Jack Deveraux.' Carly sipped her drink, glancing at the door then cursed.

'What?' Adrienne turned to see who had just arrived. It was Vivian, along with her henchman who was now a familiar sight in town. 'What is she doing her of all places?'

'Maybe she got thrown out of the places she usually prefers to plot against her enemies.' Carly replied, bitterly. She hadn't lain eyes on Vivian since she got back and wasn't sure if she was ready to stomach her right now. She and Adrienne were in a booth at a far corner so chances were Vivian hadn't noticed her. However, Gus had and whispered something to his boss. Within two swift minutes, Vivian was descending on them, Gus in tow.

'Carly dear, you've been scarce for a while. How've you been?' she gushed.

'Fine until you walked in.' was the cold answer. 'What are you doing here?'

'Unless I'm wrong, this is a public place and I'm just here to get a drink.'

'If that's the reason why you came, choose a table and a waiter will take your order. Otherwise, get out.' Adrienne said sharply.

'Is this the usual way you treat your customers?'

'Only those who aren't here to cause trouble.' Getting up, she stared the older woman down. 'You're not welcome here.'

'This is a free country, Adrienne.'

'And this is my establishment; a decent establishment who doesn't allow in lowlifes like you and your eunuch. Get your drink if that's why you came and leave.'

Vivian smiled maliciously, glancing down at Carly. 'Congratulations are in order, Carly. You have male and female defenders... oh I forgot, one of those men has changed sides now, isn't that right?'

'That's it. Get out of my place or I'll have you thrown out!' Adrienne shouted. 'Get out; both of you and don't ever come back.'

'Don't worry, I won't.' Vivian said smoothly. 'The ambience here isn't top notch anyway.' With one last malicious look at Carly, Vivian flounced away, with Gus at her wake.

'Bitch!' Adrienne exclaimed, sitting down again. 'Another minute and I would've placed my fist on that expensively modified face of hers. Are you okay?'

Carly's expression was impassive, her slim fingers wrapped round her glass in a vice grip. 'Yes. And thanks for sticking up for me like that.'

'Nonsense; what else would I do?' she glared at the door. 'The sooner that woman leaves town, the easier we can all breath again. '

Carly was about to reply when a couple entered the bar. Her heart lurched as she saw who they were. Bo and Hope; arm in arm.

'Oh no...' Adrienne groaned, glancing at Carly. Carly's face was now pale; her expression a look of anguish and despair. Her eyes didn't leave Bo as he held out a chair for his wife then sat beside her, laughing at something Hope was saying before holding her face; kissing her.

'Carly!' Adrienne shrieked, grabbing hold of her hand. Carly had gripped the glass so hard that it shattered in her hand; leaving a deep gash. Fortunately, the music playing was loud enough to drown out her yell; Bo and Hope were too wrapped up with each other anyhow.

Swiftly, Adrienne grabbed some napkins and pressed them against the wound to stanch the bleeding. 'Come on...' she took Carly's arm, pulling her to her feet. 'Bathroom.' Signalling to a waiter, she pointed at Bo and Hope then shepherded her friend to the ladies' room.

Carly didn't make a sound as Adrienne washed her hand under the sink, carefully removing a small shard. 'I think you're going to need stitches; it's deep.' Glancing at Carly, she saw tears falling down her cheeks. 'Oh honey...'

Carly burst into tears; bitter sobs that shook her body. Distressed beyond measure, Adrienne hugged her tight; unable to find the right words to comfort her.

'I thought I've let go most of the pain...' Carly cried against Adrienne's shoulder. 'I'm not strong at all.'

'There now, it's okay. Let it out.' Adrienne whispered, stroking her hair. 'And you're so wrong.'

'Yeah?' Carly raised her head, eyes wet and bloodshot. 'Then why am I still hurting so much?'

'Because you have a heart; because you're human. And it's not fair, what you're going through. I thought you and Bo were back to the way you were back then.'

Carly's sobs died down, brushing back her hair from her cheeks. 'Bo reminded me, before we hooked up again that it was a long time ago and a lot of things have changed. I should have remembered that when he asked me to move in with him. Back then we were young and he thought Hope was dead. He wouldn't have looked at me twice if she'd been alive when I moved to Salem. He loves her more than life itself. I know she's your friend but...'

'But you're my friend too.' Adrienne's voice was harsh. 'Hope and I are family but that doesn't mean I'm blind to her faults like the others are. Not only did she refuse to accept responsibility for her marriage hitting the rocks, she heaped the whole blame on you and making Bo feel guilty enough to go back to her; even after what she did to him and Justin and the others! She got off easy and here you are... suffering!'

'She didn't have to make him feel guilty.' Carly sniffled, wiping her eyes with a tissue Adrienne handed to her. 'The whole time he wanted her back. They have children and a long marriage. Once he knew she still loved him, he didn't need me to stay with him anymore.'

Adrienne slipped her arm round her shoulders. 'Is that what you think?'

'It's pretty obvious, isn't it? I'm out in the cold, just like Billie was.'

'Don't you dare put yourself in the same level as Billie Reed! She eventually gave them her blessing when Hope came back but it was all show; she turned out to be a vicious, two faced cow; she did all she could to destroy their marriage, you would never have done that to him! And who's to say he would have left you then? He and Shawn D loved you so much, you went through a lot just to be together.'

'I don't know what to believe anymore, Adrienne.' Carly rubbed her fore head with her good hand. 'Billie may've turned out a prize bitch but she and Bo still share Chelsea.' Her eyes filled again at the thought of the unborn child only she and Frankie knew about; the child she'd miscarried at the rehab clinic in D.C. Thanks to her substance abuse she'd killed Bo's baby. She hadn't even known she was pregnant. 'I never gave him a child... and I lost precious years with Nicky and Melanie. My God, will this pain ever go away?'

'I wish I can tell you it's going to be easy.' Adrienne said, wrapping Carly's hand securely with her handkerchief. 'But you're not alone; you have me... and Jennifer, Melanie, Daniel and Frankie. Time and love are great healers you know. Who knows... maybe you might find someone else and be happy again.'

But Carly shook her head. 'I was a coveted trophy to two husbands and second place with the only man I ever loved. I'm not destined for love, Adrienne. I'm done with love and fairy tales. It's all over for me.'

Adrienne winced but chose not to argue. Instead, she wiped Carly's eyes. 'Come on... let's see what we can do about this hand.'

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At the hospital, Carly's hand was stitched and bandaged and she managed to convince Melanie and Jennifer that the accident was due to carelessness on her part. If Lexie suspected there was more to it, she didn't voice it; she noticed Carly's red eyes when she returned supported by Adrienne. Instead she calmly told her to take the rest of the day off.

Back in her loft, which strongly reminded her of the one she'd shared with Isabella; Carly put on some music, reclining on her bed. It was 'Cut' by Plumb and she paid more attention to the words than she'd ever done before.

I may seem crazy

Or painfully shy

And these scars wouldn't be so hidden if you would just look me in the eye

I feel alone here and cold here

No I don't wanna die

But the only anaesthetic that makes me feel anything

Kills inside

I do not wanna be afraid

I do not wanna die inside just to breathe in

I'm tired of feeling so numb

Relief exists I find it when

I am cut...

Love's beautiful yet so agonising painful... thought Carly miserably, closing her eyes. Well, love doesn't live here anymore.