He didn't know how long he had been standing with Ala in her room with her pressed against his chest and crying her eyes out. He only knew that looking at her or hearing her sob made his heart wrench in pain.

It wasn't that he couldn't understand why she was crying like that, and that was the main reason that he kept silent and let her weep against his chest so that hopefully she could start to feel better.

Sometime into her crying, when he had this feeling that Ala had calmed down a bit, he crouched down. He kept her close to his chest all the same and shoved the arm that had previously been around her waist under her knees to lift her up and carry her over to her bed.

She was still clinging to his shirt, although North suspected her of being more asleep than awake at this point in time. Her eyes were closed and she drew shuddering breaths, but, aside from that, she didn't move or show any signs of being awake.

Carefully so as to not disturb or wake her up, he sat down on the bed and leaned against the wall behind him, still holding her close.

Theta appeared on the other shoulder than the black-haired woman was currently leaning against and sat down.

Leaning forward a bit, he watched the woman. She had her eyes closed and her breathing was even and regular, aside from the occasional shuddering breaths that she would take in. Aside from that, she was still.

Leaning back so that he did not topple over, Theta stared ahead at the opposite wall.

North let him be, waiting patiently until the Fragment decided to say something. It was for the best: even when sharing a mind, they both had their space and they sometimes needed some moments to gather their thoughts before they could say something to the other.

"Do you think she's gonna be okay?" Theta asked insecurely, still staring at the wall.

North could feel the anxiety coming off of him in waves. The Fragment was preferring to talk with their minds instead of talking out loud to avoid possibly waking Ala up. She needed her rest at the moment.

North couldn't fathom what toll it had taken on her to carry this load on her own for all those years. The fact that she not only had lost him on that day, but also her… no, their baby.

She had to go through that time of grieving on her own and yet she still had the strength to push on.

Stroking her hair, he observed Ala's face.

For once it looked relaxed, although he couldn't shake the feeling that she looked way older than being in the middle of her thirties. She looked like she was at least forty and that was mostly due to all of the emotional baggage she had been forced to carry along that she had never gotten the chance to process properly.

"I hope so, although I can't tell if she really will be." North sighed through his nose and carefully rearranged the position of the sleeping figure of his girlfriend, "I guess time will tell…"

"I hope she's going to be okay…" Theta muttered in his head, looking utterly crestfallen.

"I will do what I can to help her and make her feel better." North announced, still having his hand stroke over her hair.

"Do you think she's going to let you help her?" Theta leaned forward again and watched the sleeping woman, although she hid her face in Drew's shirt and made it almost impossible to see anything.

"I think so. She's already come clean about what happened and everything. It's a start, at least. She's going to have to decide if she's going to accept my help or not when she wakes up again.' North replied, wiping away a stray tear that was rolling down her cheeks.

It was silent for a moment, until Theta suddenly snorted.

"You're still referring to her as your girlfriend?" he asked, sounding almost amused by the notion.

North could feel his cheeks turn warm at Theta's comment.

"So?" he asked, almost snappy.

Theta only chuckled in response, "I didn't say that it's a bad thing, just that I'm a bit unused to it since it has been more than ten years since the two of you became separated.' he explained deliberately.

North made a noise between a huff and a sigh at that, "For me, it's only been a few months since my clone was killed. Because of that, we never officially separated.' he replied.

"If someone getting shot and killed isn't a strong enough reason to not feel like you're in a relationship with someone anymore, I don't know what would make it more clear myself." Theta stated dryly.

"I know. I just…" North sighed again and moved a bit since the position he was in currently was rather uncomfortable, "I still have hope and I still love her, you know."

"I know… I know…" Theta answered with a low sigh himself.

With Theta not talking for the moment, North's thoughts drifted back to what Ala had told him a while ago.

Absentmindedly, he looked over to the bedside table where the picture of the ultrasonography was lying. It seemed to be staring directly back at him as if accusing him silently of not having been there.

Or at least, he felt like that was the case. He had left despite how his girlfriend, or fiancée (however you wanted to put it), had needed him more than his sister.

After waking up and hearing the stories from Wash and the others about her, he slowly started to realize that South wasn't the saint that he liked to see her as and that she often did more bad things than good.

However, he had still left Ala when she had needed him more than his sister had. He should have stayed and heard her out. He should have stayed and been happy that he would become a dad.

He should have been there to watch the baby bump grow and… Fuck, he should have just stayed, for fuck's sake!

Okay pull yourself together, Drew. You can't break down when your lover needs you.

Breathing in and out deeply, he forced himself to calm down.

Well, it wasn't really that easy since he now knew the truth and trying to process the information that he had almost become a father was pretty overwhelming. It made so many different feelings well up in his chest that it made him want to cry.

Since he was old enough to think on the matters of life clearly in order to make up wishes and goals that he would like to achieve in his life, and said goals did not include getting a lollipop at some point in the next five minutes, he had known that he had always wanted to have kids for quite a long while.

When he had joined the military, he had to amend this goal for later… if ever. That had made him feel rather sad, to be honest, but he always hoped that it could happen at some point in the future.

And then he had met Alaska McCormick who had picked up both him and South on a rainy night after the Mother of Invention had crashed.

At first, he had only seen a temporary hiding place in that apartment he found himself in. But then, he had gotten to know Ala better.

Her kindness, her humor, how nice she treated Theta and accepted him as a person… which, honestly, not many people could do as easily as she did.

The way they just clicked together and soon became friends. It didn't take long, not even the amount of time that it took South to leave them for the first time, for him to fall in love with said woman.

It was strange to fall that hard that fast, but it had happened. And he didn't regret it, although he almost fucked it up majorly.

He could feel Theta snort in the back of his head, but he decided to let it pass. He knew the Fragment's opinion on that topic already quite well.

Then there was South calling and asking him for help. She had Maine on her heels and needed help to get rid of him, to distract him or take him down in order to get away.

And he had been the ever-loving idiot of a brother who went there and helped her, subsequently getting killed instead of staying on his fucking ass in the apartment in New Bangkok in order to hear Alaska out and become a happy family.

No, he had gotten shot instead and she had been forced to go through all those awful times without him.

Groaning lowly, he switched her weight a bit to the side so that he could gain access to his phone.

Pulling it out, he first was tempted to shoot a text to York for help but hesitated over the 'send a message' button.

York didn't know about Ala. He couldn't possibly understand why she was so badly off currently and would ask questions that North wasn't ready to answer just yet. He needed time to sort it out himself and come to terms with what he had just heard.

York would also probably be sound asleep now with Carolina wrapped up in his arms. He preferred not to think of what else they may have done before then.

So, who could he write then? He felt like his mind was running in circles and he needed a friend to maybe talk a bit about what was going on. If it wasn't York he felt he should talk to, who else could he talk to instead?

Carolina was out of the count too, as she also didn't know about what Ala had gone through.

Most of the members of the Blood Gulch Crew were out of the count for obvious reasons too.

Donut was too much of a gossip hound, and Sarge's refusal to do anything when it came to helping Blue soldiers outside of extreme circumstances was still quite obvious.

Simmons wasn't really one for heavy emotional things, even less when said matters involved women, and Grif was overall quite lazy and only interested in sleeping, eating, smoking, and Simmons.

Then there was Caboose, who was simply a good-natured idiot.

Wash was probably already sleeping and he didn't want to worsen his insomnia.

And Tucker was Tucker…

Wait a second, that wasn't completely true.

Tucker and Ala were something like adopted siblings to one another, and hadn't she said that he had helped her through her worst time after North's "death"? So, it was most likely that he knew what Ala had gone through and would understand the situation upon entering the room.

The only problem was that he didn't have Tucker's number.

He and York had been granted a phone only recently, and he didn't have everyone's numbers yet. They had most of them, with York probably having even more than just the numbers of the Captains and some of the Lieutenants.

He didn't even have all the numbers of the Captains.

Well… shit…

Switching plans, he decided to shoot a text to Wash, since he and Tucker would most likely be sleeping in the same room. They also were closest to Ala's room.

Nrth: Wash, would you mind bringing some water to Ala's room? 2 or 3 bottles. Thanks.

It was silent for a while, until an answer came through.

Wsh: Did something happen?

Nrth: I'll tell you when you're here. Can you come?

North could hear shifting and grumbling in the other room, along with sounds that were quite similar to two people talking together. He suspected that it was Wash and Tucker who were talking.

Minutes later, there was a knock on the door.

"Come in, it's open." North muttered lowly. He released Ala's grasp on his shirt and laid her down on her cot.

Immediately, she started pulling a face and squirming.

North kneeled down beside the cot and again stroked her head, "I am here. You're not alone."

The black-haired woman's face softened at that and she seemed to slip back into unconsciousness and kept on sleeping.

When he got to his feet again, he could see a sleep-tousled Tucker standing in the doorway looking at his adopted sister with somewhat worried, yet relieved, expression on his face.

Wash appeared moments later with three bottles of water. He put two down on the nightstand and gave the third to North who was sitting on the chair beside the desk. He took it gratefully and emptied about three quarters of the bottle before feeling halfway okay.

He still didn't know what to think or what to say. What to feel or what to do. He just knew that he was currently an emotional mess.

Tucker seemed to notice that he wasn't going to say anything, so he did the talking.

He carefully plopped down on the carpet in front of the cot and looked at his sister's sleeping face. Wash copied his boyfriend's motion and sat down beside him in front of North, who was bracing his forearms on his knees.

"So, she was finally able to talk about it?" Tucker asked lowly, neither of them wanting to wake her up now she was sleeping.

"Yeah…" North muttered, playing with the bottle in his hands.

"Then you know it now." Tucker sighed deeply, "She told me about it on the day that you showed up here on Chorus. Not even I knew about it beforehand."

With that, Tucker grasped the photograph of the ultrasonography and looked at it. Wash leaned over and took a look at the picture. He seemed to know the story too since he didn't react surprised, but never seemed to have seen the picture that Tucker was currently holding in his hands.

After some minutes of looking at the picture, Tucker held it out to North who took the picture without really realizing it and began looking at it too.

"I didn't know that she was carrying such a heavy burden. That she had been pregnant." North muttered after a while, staring down at the picture.

"Neither did we, buddy." Wash spoke up. He changed his position slightly and looked at North, "It was a surprise for us too, since she had managed to hide it rather well."

North only nodded at that numbly.

"Then you also know now why she had to undergo another surgery a few days ago." Tucker muttered, looking down at the ground, "I couldn't tell you then though. I hope you can understand why now."

North nodded numbly again, still not quite able to process all that had happened so far. He was still struggling to process everything that Alaska had told him. Most importantly, that he had almost become a dad.

"I still don't know what to think or say." North muttered after a while, "I just feel overwhelmed and somewhat lost."

He sighed deeply and tried not to break down himself. He needed to be calm and collected for Ala's sake when she woke up.

"Pretty understandable." Tucker muttered, scratching his head, "I mean, it's a pretty big bomb she dropped on you but you had a right to know."

He sighed, "But it's okay to feel lost or something." He continued, "I mean I wouldn't be reacting as calm and cool as you are currently. I would probably be throwing a fit or some other shit." He chuckled lowly, although the laugh sounded bleak.

Wash laid an arm around Tucker's shoulder to make him calm down.

North started to understand that it wasn't only him who was affected by Ala's injury and all the things she had carried around by herself.

However, Drew decided to not say a thing since he felt like Tucker would break down the moment he said anything wrong.

It was Wash who spoke up next in a low voice, "We are trying to understand what happened too. And we're struggling with it, as you can see."

North looked over to Tucker who was leaning against Wash and drawing shuddering breaths, obviously trying to control his emotions.

Wash continued, "What we want to say is that it's understandable if you don't feel okay. She's your girlfriend, after all."

North threw the Freelancer a sad stare, "I know I referred to her as my girlfriend before, but I am not sure if she still is."

Wash smiled at that, "Give her some time. She needs time to come to terms with what happened to her all those years ago. And by that, I am not only speaking about the baby. I'm talking about your loss too and her having to start to realize that you are indeed back."

"I need to be patient. I've figured out that much." North sighed, but Wash shook his head.

"It's not only that. You also have to be there for her and support her, even when she's trying to drive you away. I don't know how she was previously, but I got to know her as a person who tends to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders and who refuses anyone who tries to help."

North smiled at that, "She isn't the only one though." He replied.

He saw Wash and, oddly enough, Tucker look away somewhat in embarrassment at that.

He knew that Wash didn't readily share what was bothering him with others or let others help him out given what he had gone through, but North had always suspected Tucker to be more of the sharing kind who tried to get advice from Wash or the others whenever he could.

In any case, it wasn't his place to point that out right and have the two of them fight with each other.

"Anyways," North coughed lowly, looking over to Ala, "I guess I will try to get some sleep myself. I don't need her to hound me for being reckless yet again."

This drew another smile out of Tucker, "Are you already back to sleeping with her in the same bed?"

North couldn't hide the blush that covered his cheeks just then despite the seriousness of the situation.

He coughed awkwardly again before answering, "I more or less was thinking about sleeping in my own bed and then checking in on her tomorrow morning."

"I would stay with her, dude. She's unstable at the moment and I doubt it would be such a good idea to leave her alone given that. At least until she's woken up." Tucker looked over to the still sleeping figure of the black-haired woman.

"I agree with Tucker. In this situation you really shouldn't leave her alone, North." Wash added in.

Looking over to his girlfriend, the violet-wearing man pondered over the situation and then nodded with a sigh.

"Okay, I will stay here. Guess I will take the carpet then." He replied, still watching the woman on the cot.

Tucker got up to his feet with a low groan, "How about Wash and I get your stuff from your room so you can sleep here with no worries? No need to go even more ascetic than we already live, dude."

North couldn't help but chuckle at Tucker's wording and how Wash rolled his eyes at Tucker's choice of words, but nodded in response.

North looked up to the two men standing there, waiting for a verbal answer, "If you would do that, I would be much obliged."

"Sure thing." Tucker answered, grinning weakly, "We'll be back in ten minutes at the latest." He said, turning around and pulling Wash out of the room along with him.

Which left North alone with Ala again.

Emptying his bottle of water, he walked over to the bed where the woman was still out cold.

He was happy that Wash and Tucker had come over and had sat with him for a while, or he would have felt like snapping even more. Sure, he still felt lost and overwhelmed, but he didn't feel like he was going to break at any moment anymore.

When Wash and Tucker showed up some minutes later with the thin mattress and the even thinner blanket from his room, he smiled thankfully and wished them a good rest of the night once they had helped him set up the mattress.

It was close enough that he could be there the moment he heard Alaska getting restless, yet it was giving her enough space to not feel suffocated by his presence and it made it possible for her to get out of her bed without stepping on him in the process.

Lying down on the mattress, he huddled up in his blanket and tried to fall asleep though he found himself unable to do so.

He was lying wide awake, his thoughts running in circles without ever reaching a conclusion of some sort throughout the entire night.

He realized that the night was over when the sun started coming out over the horizon.

Sometime later, North couldn't tell how long it was that he had been lying in his bed and staring at the ceiling, he could hear Ala starting to move.

Checking his watch, he could see that it was around seven in the morning.

North had thought about switching the alarm off and giving Alaska some much needed sleep. He was pretty sure that either Tucker or Wash would inform Kimball of the situation if Ala or himself didn't show up when called upon. Ala still was officially out of duty, so another day of her not showing up for discussions about the rebuilding of the city wouldn't hurt matters.

But at the latest tomorrow, he would propose getting back to work since this also helped take your mind off of things and get better. Sometimes work helped you in getting better because you weren't thinking of the problem that was causing you so much pain.

In any case, there would be a lot of talking ahead and it was not only Ala who had to heal. He also had to heal, and North knew that Theta also had some things that he needed to come to terms with.

All three of them would have to heal in some way in order to be able to move on from there.