V

"I can't believe you are actually making me do this," Sherlock griped to Loki as he buttoned up his coat. "I thought you hated the cold." Loki, who was pulling on a thick wool sock, rolled his eyes at his impatient lover.

"It's snow I don't like, Sherlock. Ice is not as bad as long as I don't touch it. And you are not getting out of this. It won't be as fun without you. Just awkward." The detective huffed in annoyance. "For Odin's sake, Sherlock, it's just ice skating."

"With my parents." Sherlock wasn't actually as worried about his parents. They would probably just give the pair space to "canoodle."

"Surely, that's not as bad as you think. Or my family."

"They're dull."

"You think everyone but yourself and I are dull. And occasionally Molly and Mary. That's not a fair argument."

"You never met my parents, Loki. You have no idea what you're getting yourself into. And since when do you care. You think I'm the only mortal worth keeping around."

"Oh, Sherlock! That's not entirely true. I would keep Mary and Molly around too. I need entertainment other than you. Don't change the subject." The mischief god shouldered a pair of worn ice skates, green eyes flaring with irritation. "You are not going to die or become stupid from spending a day with your mother and father."

"Says the god who avoids his father and brother like the plague." A sudden drop in the room's temperature indicated that Sherlock's quip had not been appreciated. Sherlock felt an arm wrap around his waist, pinning him to Loki's front and trapping his arms at his sides. The trickster's free hand came to the detective's neck, tilting his head back so Loki could hiss in his ear.

"They are not my family, Sherlock. Do not bring them up again." With that, Loki shoved the mortal away from him, proceeding out the door. Sherlock rubbed at his throat, well aware and a little remorseful of upsetting his god in that way. He was well aware of Loki's resentments towards his adoptive family and usually was very careful not to bring such subjects up.

"Loki, wait. Come back here! Oh don't be like this" Sherlock, despite having legs as long as Loki's, had to run to catch up with the infuriated god. Upon catching up, the detective locked his arms around his immortal lover's waist. "I'm sorry. Please don't be upset with me…" The last thing he needed was his parents comforting an angry Loki. He began to kiss along Loki's neck, knowing it was one of his weak spots. "Forgive me? Please?"

"Why should I?" Despite his best efforts, there was a definite crack in the god's voice.

"Because you left without your hat." In order to hide his Jotun – or as Sherlock intentionally mispronounced, Yoton – form, Loki had taken to wearing a cap with a long bill to keep snowflakes from hitting his skin. As it was, the god's pale complexion was currently speckled azure from the winter weather. That made Loki stop, turning to Sherlock with fearfully wide emerald and ruby eyes. "Lucky for you…" Sherlock held up his lover's cap with a smirk. "I remembered to grab it for you." In a rare feat, Loki's cheeks and nose tinted pink as his mortal lover placed the hat on his head.

"Thank you, Love…"

"Of course." The detective leaned in to press an apologetic kiss on his lover's nose, causing Loki to blink in surprise. "Someone's got to take care of you."

"I'm not a child. I can take care of myself," Loki rebutted half-heartedly.

"Of course you can. Now let's not keep Mum and Dad waiting."

- Burdened with Glorious Deductions -

"This cannot be a good idea," Sherlock reiterated as he fumbled with the laces of his ice skates. Loki had already made his way onto the crowded ice, gliding through the throng with ease. Normally, watching the lithe god maneuvering with such grace would create a rather indecent problem for Sherlock to have around his parents. However, the detective was far more concerned about making himself look like a fool on the ice.

"Oh don't be such a spoil sport, Sherry. I'm sure Loki would be more than happy to teach you how to skate." Sherlock rolled his eyes at his mother's nickname for him. At least it was better than Mykie. "It never hurts to ask."

"Well, that would require being able to keep up with him. Which at the pace he's going, I never will."

"Well, that's why you ask for help. It's not that hard to do."

"Yes it is."

"Oh, Sherlock! It won't hurt you to ask Loki for help. It's what couples do." Sherlock found this to be an appropriate time to tune his mother out, still fighting with his skate laces. He was perfectly content just watching Loki skate; however, both his parents and his lover had demanded he join them.

"Ooh…"

"My word, what was that?!" The detective's eyes squenched shut in embarrassment. Of all the people who could have texted him while he was with his parents…

"Sorry, that was my phone," Sherlock apologized as he pulled out his phone. "A colleague of mine got ahold of it and had a perverse sense of humor."

"Sherlock, you're not seeing someone else, are you?"

"MOTHER!"

"Well that sounded like a wo-"

"No. Mother. I'm not seeing anyone other than Loki." With that, Sherlock shakily stood, wobbling over to the ice rink entrance. As he did this, he read the offending text, surprised to find a picture of Loki skating attached to the message.

Aren't you going to join him? Why was she so interested in Loki? "Ooh…" If I had someone as delicious as him, he'd never be alone for very long.

"Sherlock!" Before Sherlock could come up with a witty remark, Loki glided up to the entrance, spraying the detective with snow. "What's taking you so long? I'm getting so lonely out here." The god of mischief stuck his lower lip out in his most adorable pout, threatening to rename the term "puppy dog eyes." The smitten sleuth had to remind himself that shoving Loki to the ice and kissing him into oblivion would not be considered appropriate. Plus Loki would come in contact with the ice and that would sour Loki's mood.

"I'm waiting. I don't want to risk embarrassing you with my rad skating skills."

"First of all, never talk like that again. Ever. It doesn't suit you. Second, you are lying through your teeth."

"No, I'm not."

"God of lies, pet. I can always tell. Why keep trying?"

"Fine." Sherlock did know Loki would be able to see through his lies, but it was always worth a shot. As if trying to lie to Mary wasn't annoying enough. "I, uh…" The mortal found himself unable to look his god in the eye as he forced his confession out. "I don't know how to ice skate."

"Oh really now?" Loki sounded far too amused for Sherlock's comfort. "So the great Sherlock Holmes needs a tutor."

"I don't 'need' a tutor."

"Come on. On the ice."

"What?"

"You heard me. On the ice, Mr. Holmes." The Trickster moved aside to allow Sherlock to hobble onto the ice.

"You can't order me about. You're not in charge of me." That would have been much more impressive if the consulting detective wasn't gripping onto the railing for dear life. He was barely managing to keep his feet underneath him. "I'll be perfectly fine on my own, thank you very much."

"Oh really?"

"Really."

"Alright then." With little more warning than that, Loki grabbed Sherlock's wrists, prying them off the railing and dragging him out to the center of the ice rink. "Since you're such an accomplished skater, see if you can get yourself back to the railing." The mischievous god then glided away, leaving a very unstable Sherlock Holmes stranded.

"Loki!"

"Oh, come on, Sherlove. No doubt you can deduce your way out of this." The trickster began to skate circles, literally, around the stranded detective. "There may even be a kiss or two in it for you."

"I'm going to kill you."

"No you won't, love."

"Don't think I wouldn't!" That was provided that Sherlock could actually stay upright long enough to actually commit the murder. How in the world was Loki doing it? Surely, it wasn't just his godly grace.

"You can do it, Sherlock." Sherlock wasn't so sure. Loki had stopped skating so he could no longer be used as an example. "Look around. What is everyone else doing to get around?" The detective looked around, keeping his arms out to maintain his balance. How could he possibly care about everyone else when he could barely stay upright? Of course, logic said that deducting how to propel himself along the ice may help him keep his balance on the thin blades.

"Fine. Just… Don't go anywhere." Loki chuckled, further agitating the nervous mortal.

"Never, my love." Any joke Sherlock would typically make about Loki's sentiment was buried as the detective proceeded to study the crowd's feet. He also tried to probe his mind palace to see if he had stored anything from watching the Olympics with Loki and Mary. Apparently, anything he would have noticed was deleted. He noticed a pattern in the crowds' movements though. Push the left foot out and back, one goes right. The right foot, left. So that's how it was done.

"Alright… Here goes nothing." Loki watched expectantly as Sherlock gave a tentative push with his right foot, his arms flopping to maintain balance as he was indeed propelled forward. A push with his left foot straightened his path when it veered a little too left. The detective found himself wondering if this was how taking your first steps as an infant felt like.

"That's it, pet. You've got it," Loki encouraged, holding his arms out for his wobbly lover. The god looked so proud that any angry quips Sherlock intended to spit out at him faded away. As it was the sleuth was getting used to the pattern, watching his love come closer and closer with every push. It was only a few more before Sherlock was able to flop rather ungracefully into Loki's arms, losing his balance yet again. The god remained upright, laughing and keeping Sherlock from going face first into the ice. "Now was that so hard?"

"Yes. Yes, it was. Now where's my kiss?"

"Kiss? What kiss? I said nothing about a-" Sherlock was having none of Loki's antics. He silenced his mischievous lover with a hard kiss, not caring who was watching. He had earned that kiss.

Luckily the only one paying any attention to them found the pair so adorable she thought her new picture would make the perfect phone wallpaper.