When I open my eyes, i see a bunch of tubes connected to me. One with what looks like morphling, one that looks like blood, another just fluid but who knows what it could be. I hear noises from monitors buzz in my ears. It takes me a moment to adjust myself to my surroundings and the situation. I grab my stomach but my bump is gone. I scream out for answers, Peeta isn't beside me. What happened to the baby? Where is she? Wheres Peeta?
I sit up giving myself a head rush, and try to remove everything connected to me. I need to find my family. Alarm bells echo through the halls from the monitors that surround me. Nurses quickly gather in, around me, telling me to lie down, to breathe. "Where is she?" I scream.
An older nurse with green eyes and her black hair in a tight bun reassures me, "Shes fine dear. Just fine. I need you to relax."
"I want to see her, wheres Peeta?" I plead
"Peeta is with your daughter in the the nursery" She says softly.
I think she was going to explain further but I interject. "Were am I? What happened to me?" I feel relief that she is okay, but it doesn't explain anything for what developed after I passed out and why I am in this state.
"You're in intensive care. The integrity of the myoetrial wall was breached, causing a Uterine rupture."
None of it makes any sense and all I can do is start sobbing like an idiot.
"It's okay dear, you're going to be okay. You just need to take it very slowly, you are in a very critical condition." She says softly
"I just want Peeta and my baby" I plead like a toddler.
"Ok, but I need you to relax, you can make things worse for yourself so just breathe darling, its alright." She says as she pats my hand and walks out.
I don't know how long I sat their crying before I hear his voice and look up. "Katniss"
Peeta runs over and embraces me, holding me tight. I whimper into his chest "It's okay Katniss, it's okay, she's okay, we're okay."
I pull myself out and look into his eyes. "What happened? no one is making any sense Peeta"
"You were bleeding a lot. They thought, I thought you were going to die. I thought she was going to die, everything was falling apart." He breathes in deeply, closing his eyes tensing his forehead. As if to stop himself from crying. "Your uterus basically burst Katniss." He says looking up at me.
"What happened to our daughter?" I ask.
"She had an erratic heart beat because of the hemorrhage but she's okay now." He says softly kissing my cheek.
"I need to see her." I say. I already feel guilt and fear rise within me. Not even born yet and I almost killed her.
"I can go see if I can take her out of the pediatric ward to come see you." He says reassuringly.
"Yes. I would like that." I sniffle to try and stop the crying.
Peeta gets up and leaves and I sit there trying to wrap my brain around everything that has happened in the last twenty four hours. She was in my stomach and I was ready to bring her in to the world. But instead my insides turned to mush and I hurt her heart, almost killing her. Maybe I wasn't meant to have kids after all.
I hear footsteps and jolt up to see Peeta walking in grinning. Then I see her, wrapped up in a soft pink blanket, and time stands still. He brings her over and I take her in my arms as quickly I am able. I have never seen a life so precious and innocent as I do in her. "Hello little one" I whisper. I trace her cheeks, kissing her tiny forehead. "She's perfect Peeta." I whisper looking up at him. "Just like her mother" He says kissing me on the forehead too. I trace her little hands and she grasps my finger squeezing it. "I love you little duck." I whisper smiling.
When I first felt her stirring inside of me, I was consumed with a terror that felt as old as life itself. Only the joy of holding her can tame it.