Chapter 15

In the privacy of her loft, Carly confessed all and the whole time, Bo held her right hand in a tight grip; his brown eyes not leaving her face.

'That's why I went out of town, to get help. Frankie took care of me, checked me into rehab. I was saved.' She said, quietly. 'But I was too late to save another. I swear, I didn't know I was pregnant...'

'No, no... You don't ever have to swear to me, princess!' Bo said, filled with shame and remorse; very sad at the long months of pain and misery she'd gone through, Melanie and Adrienne's hostility was more than justified. Carly's always been able to stand alone but to endure and keep all of this to herself for a long time made him want to weep again. How could he have allowed it to happen? Suppose she'd lost her mind completely? Or died?

He kissed her hand several times, tears streaming down his eyes. 'Oh my God…'

'Don't… please don't.' Carly sobbed, stroking his hair with her free hand. In a few seconds, they were holding each other close again as they sat on the couch.

'I'm so sorry princess,' Bo cried against her bosom. 'You must hate me!'

'Never.' Carly sniffled, shaking her head as more tears poured down her cheeks. 'I can never hate you. At least you know now.' She pressed her cheek against the top of his head. 'It's okay… it's okay.'

'It can never be okay,' Bo raised his head, eyes red and damp. 'I promised to always be there then let you down in the worst possible way.' He held her face. 'I don't deserve your forgiveness, not after what you went through because of me.'

'You didn't put that bottle of pills in my hand. I'm a doctor, I should've known better; who am I to blame you for what happened when I was the one who chose to do drugs…'

'Don't you ever say that again!' Bo said fiercely. 'You didn't choose and you didn't kill our baby; you were in pain and it's my fault, all my fault!' he pulled her into his arms again. 'If anything had happened to you…' He held her tight. 'I can't begin to think of you in that place, where it happened.'

'I wanted to die.' Carly whispered. 'For a long time the pain kept stabbing me; all I could think of was how he or she would have been and never knowing.'

'She.'

'What?'

Bo pulled away to look into her eyes. 'It was a girl. Gwyneth.'

Carly was stunned to the core. 'How… how did you know that was my name for her?'

'Because I saw her; I dreamt of her.' Bo gently pushed her hair from her face. 'She had the colour of your hair, and my eyes. She looked so much Zach, and so beautiful. She told me her name and… I just wound up putting two and two together.'

'Oh my God… that's how you found out.' Carly shook her head, still amazed. 'And you actually saw our baby, our little girl.' She bowed her head in sorrow. 'It was a little girl…' she sank into Bo's arms again.

'I'm sorry.' His voice shook. 'I've give anything to turn back the clock… to make her be with us right now.'

'At least I now know what she would've been like; it helps a little.' Carly raised her head, brushing back her tears. 'She'll always be with me and I'll think of her as our little angel from now on.'

Bo nodded. 'Playing with Zach in heaven.' He said emotionally.

'Oh Bo…' she touched his face.

'Can you ever forgive me?' he asked, pressing her hand against his face. 'Lord knows I can't even begin to forgive myself for what I did to you, letting you stand all alone and flaunting myself and Hope in your face…'

'I had Frankie, Melanie and Adrienne; they looked after me.' Carly couldn't bring herself to tell him that Frankie has disowned the family. 'I wasn't completely alone, and… I got some therapy. For a long time I was so angry with you.' She admitted. 'Part of me wanted to hate you so much.' She took his hand, squeezing it. 'But it's something I can never do, Bo. I don't hate you; so…' she gulped, 'there's actually nothing to forgive.'

Bo could only hug her close, never loving her more; completely humbled and so ashamed of himself.

After a few minutes, Carly got up, drying her eyes with a hanky. 'Umm… would you like something to drink? I think I have a few beers in the fridge…'

She turned but Bo quickly rose to his feet. 'Carly, wait.'

'Yes?'

He looked at her intently. 'What are we exactly?'

She blinked, confused. 'I don't understand.'

'What are we to each other now?'

She shrugged. 'I don't know. We aren't together, we aren't even friends. We can't possibly be friends and act like nothing ever happened.'

'Well, if you don't know,' he walked up to her, eyes not leaving her face. 'I'll tell you.' He encircled her waist with his arms. 'We're unfinished business.'

Carly felt a huge rise of panic. 'No… no…' she protested as Bo began planting kisses on the side of her neck, heat cruising through her as she felt the spiky touch of his stubble against her skin. Only he could invoke that particular feeling; electrifying, wonderful feelings of desire.

'No, we mustn't…' she said weakly. 'Bo, don't…' the rest of her words were lost as Bo captured her mouth, kissing her hungrily; pulling her hard against his body.

Carly threw her arms round his neck as she kissed him back, lips and tongues merging furiously and eagerly; hearts beating frantically.

'I've missed you,' he breathed against her lips, running his fingers through her silken hair, 'so much!' They kissed again, reignited passion unleashed. Before Carly knew what she was doing, her hands were moving up to pull down Bo's jacket, which he impatiently shrugged off before slipping his arm under her legs and carried her up the stairs to her bedroom.

They sank into the big double bed, frantically kissing and caressing each moaned as Bo kneaded her breast, rubbing his thumb over the hardened tip; her legs wrapping round him, fingers working on the buttons of his shirt and managed to get it off without tearing it. In turn, Bo raised her up slightly to pull her top over her head before resuming the heated, possessive kiss; reveling in the touch of her soft mouth again. Carly sucked the lower lip, her tongue dueling with his; loving his glorious weight bearing on her.

'I love you Carly,' he whispered unsteadily against her neck, drawing the hem of her skirt up her thighs. 'I love you so much!'