It's time. Or at least it almost is. Lily is now nine years old. In a mere two years they start teaching the history of the Hunger Games, and it's like I can't breathe again. It makes me antsy. Peeta can see it in the way that I clutch her tightly to my chest, willing her youth to stay. We had agreed when Lily was born that we would start telling her about the Games when she was ten. We want her to know our story because we're not sure what they'll teach. We don't want to blind-side her from our involvement in them either. I just have no idea how nine years had already breezed by.

I lie awake in bed and decide to see whether Ash has woken up yet. It's only five am but his sleep schedule has always been erratic. I'm careful not to jostle Peeta so he can hopefully still get another hour in before he goes to work.

I pass by Lily's room on my way to Ash and peek in. Her curls surround her cheeks, making her look younger than she actually is. Surely she's not nine already? I continue making my way to Ash to distract myself and stop myself from tearing up.

He sits up in his bed waiting patiently for me or Peeta get him. He clutches his toes and his golden hair looks like a halo around his head. He looks up when I come in and loudly exclaims "Mama!"

Shh, I hush him; mindful not the wake the rest of my sleeping family. He is immediately quiet and looks remorseful for his actions. I'm not quite sure how he does it, but he manages to be the most expressional person I've ever met. And he manages to do it as a one year old. It's like Peeta with his words, only Ash can do it with just a look.

He holds out his arms and I pick him up though I can see that he is still tired. I walk over to the rocking chair and sing to him softly:

Deep in the meadow, under the willow
A bed of grass, a soft green pillow
Lay down your head, and close your sleepy eyes
And when you awake, the sun will rise.

Here it's safe, here it's warm
Here the daisies guard you from harm
Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true
Here is the place where I love you.

Ash's eyes flutter close but I remain seated in the chair, slowly rubbing my hands along his chubby little cheek.

A few days later we take them to the meadow for the first time. They had been in the woods a fair amount but never to the meadow.

Lily dances around the dandelions, and picks them so we can make a soup later. Ash tries to follow her but falls often. He is always quick to get up again and keep going. Besides when he was first-born I can't recall him ever crying. I'm not sure whether it's my independence or Peeta's resilience showing through though.

As they play in the meadow, what they don't know is that they dance on a graveyard. One day (and that day is coming soon) we'll teach her about it. I just hope that she'll be able to finally understand why her parents are abnormally jumpy. Why they sometimes wake up in a cold sweat and are gasping for air. Time has made the wounds heal, but there will always be a scar.

Deep in the meadow, hidden far away
A cloak of leaves, A moonbeam ray, Forget your woes and let your troubles lay
And when again it's morning, they'll wash away.

Here it's safe, here it's warm
Here the daisies guard you from every harm
Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true
Here is the place where I love you.

Okay, so I am immensely sorry it's been almost three weeks. I've been really indecisive about how the story should go from here. I'm going on a writing binge so expect more chapters soon. Reviews I haven't replied to I will reply to very shortly. I hope you enjoyed it and don't mind that it's short.