IX

"Do we really have to do this, Sherlock? I really would rather S.H.I.E.L.D. not be poking around our home," Loki whined from John's chair, watching Sherlock make a pitiful attempt at clearing out his various experiments from the kitchen's table and counters. "I've been more than well behaved as of late. I see no need for them to continue these futile 'inspections.'"

"I understand that, Love. But we have to put up with these morons to ensure you remain a resident of Baker Street rather than a prisoner in a cell." S.H.I.E.L.D. had been very clear on the terms of Loki's variant of a house arrest under Sherlock. They would perform regular inspections to ensure Loki had not resorted to his nefarious tricks. As if Loki's regular flinching at the mention of his more malevolent alliance wasn't assurance enough. "Besides, they are becoming less frequent. S.H.I.E.L.D. must believe you're starting to turn a corner." Loki scoffed.

"Don't insult me, Sherlove. I only put on an act for these buffoons." The god slumped back into the chair, studying his half polished hands. "My patience for S.H.I.E.L.D. is wearing extremely thin. Why are you hiding your experiments anyway?" He asked, as he began to finish painting 221b Black.

"Because I don't want our 'guests' thinking you are the one experimenting on human body parts." Sherlock's nose crinkled in disgust as he spoke. He despised the smell of Loki's polish. "Why do you persist in painting your nails black?"

"Because the color suits me. And it matches my tracking bracelet." Upon being sentenced to this variant of house arrest, S.H.I.E.L.D. placed a thin black tracer bracelet on Loki's wrist. It beeped insistently, becoming much more high-pitched and annoying whenever the god overstepped his set boundaries without permission. Of course, it bore the S.H.I.E.L.D. eagle as well, which would emit a flashing red glow when Loki misbehaved. Despite the god's best efforts, there was no way he could remove it. "Also, your nose crinkles so adorably at the smell of nail polish."

"You are so evil."

"I know. But that is why you love me so much. It's part of my charm."

"I'm not sure many people would call that 'charm,' Loki." Both god and detective jumped at the new female voice. No one had heard the redhead come into the room, as was the Black Widow's talent. Or at least was one of them. "I don't think that's really your shade, Loki." The god merely glared at the S.H.I.E.L.D. agent.

"Quim."

"Loki, try to behave. Agent Romanoff." Sherlock extended a hand towards her in greeting. "I don't believe we've actually met. Sherlock Holmes."

"Natasha."

"I suppose the polite thing to do is to apologize for Loki's less than polite greeting."

"Oh believe me, I've been called far worse than a body part in my time. If that's the best revenge for New York he can come up with, then Thor really overestimates his little brother." There was a fiercely annoyed growl emanating from John's chair. "A growling chair. Interesting furniture you have, Mr. Holmes."

"A gift from Asgard as I recall." Sherlock found himself intrigued by Agent Romanoff's cool demeanor. The spy was impossible for him to read beyond a Russian background and a few tiny details. She was much more quick witted and less intimidated by Loki than most other agents S.H.I.E.L.D. had sent, which made him only like her more. If he could actually read more! Russian, romantic affair with colleague, assassin, boring, boring, boring! Anyone could see those. "Out of curiosity, Agent Romanoff, I thought these inspections had been lowered to a biannual basis. Isn't it a little early for another?"

"This isn't an inspection." Loki peeked up from over the chair's back, his eyes full of concerned confusion. Sherlock's eyes mirrored his immortal beloved's as Natasha took a seat in Sherlock's computer chair. "S.H.I.E.L.D. has been disbanded. It no longer exists."

"Oh…" was the only thing the couple could say. Sherlock could never be sure of what was going on in his beloved's head but he could imagine a basic panic. The only reason Loki was even allowed to serve his punishment on Earth was because of an agreement between Asgard and S.H.I.E.L.D.If there was no more S.H.I.E.L.D. … would that mean Loki would have to return to Asgard? Were the couple's days together numbered? Sherlock had to clear the lump from his throat before asking, "What does this mean for Loki's sentence?"

"On S.H.I.E.L.D.'s end? He only had a few more months left."

"I thought I had a life sentence?"

"You did. However, since no one is certain about the lifespans of gods, it was based on a human lifespan. For every inspection you managed to pass without murdering someone we take off a few months. Same for whenever you help your boy toy here solve crimes."

"I am not his boy toy!" That was a ridiculous thing to be offended by. But sure enough, Sherlock found himself extremely offended. Agent Romanoff smirked.

"Sure you're not. Anyway, unless Asgard says otherwise, you can stay on Earth. We just can't take your tracking bracelet off you."

"What?! Why?!" There was now a 221b black streak down Loki's hand from his shock.

"Because the code to break it was on S.H.I.E.L.D. computer database and well… Bye bye, S.H.I.E.L.D." Sherlock somehow had the distinct feeling Natasha was lying. Surely, Loki's bracelet could easily be hacked in order to remove or there was a key lying around. Something about her mischievous smirk suggested that she knew this; however, she also had no intention of even trying to do so. Sherlock had no doubt she relished the idea of watching Loki's suffering. Somehow, he couldn't find the courage to even try to stop her. "Of course, that also means it can't keep you under house arrest either."

"How wonderful. Meanwhile, I have this hideous instrument trapped to my wrist. I can barely even fit my armor around it!"

"Not that you actually need your armor, Love. And it doesn't look that bad," Sherlock commented. The god just glared at him. It was true though. Rarely was there an actual occasion deemed dangerous enough for Loki to employ his full Asgardian armor. Though, not that Sherlock would admit this out loud, he did have a slight weakness for his god's armor. Romanoff cocked her head to one side, smirking at the irritated deity.

"Well, I'm certain you and Baby Blues here can figure out another way to work off that armor fetish of yours." The consulting detective felt his face flush at her innuendo. "Beside it's a small bracelet. Maybe you can play Cop and Prisoner." She then winked at the now blood red-faced detective. "I'm sure you're both very creative."

"Wait a second…" Loki hissed before Sherlock could stammer out a response. "You're lying."

"'Bout time you figured that out, God of Lies."

"Take it off."

"Hmm… Let me think…" Natasha tapped a finger to her chin as if actually contemplating his request. "Hmm… I think not. Maybe when I'm convinced you'll actually be a good boy. Besides…" Sherlock felt something being slipped into his pocket. "I wouldn't want to spoil Sherlock's fun with you." On that note, the Black Widow hid her eyes with a pair of sunglasses and sauntered out the door. "I'll be in touch, boys!"

"She gave you a key," Loki stated once Romanoff left. Sherlock had to shake his head to clear the fuzz Romanoff's innuendos had created.

"What?"

"Agent Romanoff put the key to the bracelet in your pocket." He had almost forgotten something had been slipped into his pocket. The detective fished out what was indeed the futuristic key to Loki's house arrest bracelet. But there was also a slip of paper with what Sherlock assumed was a way to contact Natasha if they needed to. Now that his brain was cleared, he began to consider a few of the ideas she had mentioned. "See! Now free me!" Loki thrust his wrist out, waiting for Sherlock to free him.

"…Now." With Sherlock took off, knowing Loki would retaliate for refusing to free him. He just hoped he would be able to hide the key first. This should be fun.