XI

"Are you sure this is where we are to meet the Doctor's associate?" Sherlock asked incredulously as he surveyed the multicolored mass before him. Loki eyed the alien dive bar with mischievous glee, scanning for their contact. "Why would he – or anyone – meet us here of all places?"

"I'm not sure. Perhaps the atmosphere? It is rather festive here." The god gave his precious human a twirl, clearly uncaring who was staring. Of course, Loki would enjoy an alien bar. Since he was technically an alien himself, it did make sense… "It's a welcomed change of pace."

"If you enjoy that sort of thing."

"Out of your depth, Sherlove?" Loki didn't even try to hide the smile in his voice or on his face. The jerk. "This is no different from the seedy bars you often find London's most wanted in. Except perhaps in color scheme."

"Also the except the fact I don't have to worry about being carted off as a human slave. As much." Sherlock wasn't one to actually be afraid (much), but the glances he and his lover were receiving set him on edge. It was enough to overpower his immense scientific excitement and curiosity of being in a bar on another planet.

"Sherlock, do you really think I would allow you to be carted off as a slave?" The Mischief God asked as he perched himself on a barstool. Sherlock scowled as he sat beside his beloved. Of course, he didn't see a potential issue.

"No. I think you would sell me to the highest bidder. You definitely should get your money's worth."

"Oh of course! Not that you're worth that much anyway to this crowd. Geniuses are a dime a dozen out here." Sherlock's jaw dropped in shock but, of course, the lovely god of sarcasm himself merely winked at his lover's distress. "Don't worry, love. There are plenty of stupid aristocrats in this galaxy that would be in complete awe of your braininess."

"But you're supposed to be impressed….. And yet you aren't even phased that I'm not gawking at our fellow bar patrons."

"I never expected you to be the gawking type," Loki explained, sipping on some neon green drink that had been presented to him. When had he ordered that? "You are far too brilliant for that, Sherlock Holmes. As I recall you weren't the slightest bit panicked when I turned into an azure monster either."

"One. How the hell would you know how I reacted? You had passed out from heat exhaustion by the time your skin changed color. And two…" Sherlock caught his god's chin, making Loki face him so he could be certain the thick headed Aesir would hear and process what he would say. "I happen to love your Jotun form. So when you call it a 'monster', I find it offensive. Take it from experience, Love, an appearance does not make a monster." Despite his best attempts at a stoic façade, the detective could see a tiny tear fighting to form in the corner of Loki's eye. "So stop doing that, you," Sherlock ordered, accenting the order with a boop to Loki's nose. The god wiggled his nose in response.

"Now I had an absolutely perfect pickup line planned here but this is just too beautiful to screw up." Both god and mortal jumped at the man's voice as neither had sensed his approach. The newcomer was grinning at the couple in a similar fashion to a fangirl watching her ship's first kiss. "Let me tell you, buddy. This one." The man clapped Sherlock on the back. "He's definitely a keeper."

"And who exactly is it that is telling me something I already know?" Loki asked sardonically. The god made no attempt to hide his jealous disdain. Did this fool have no knowledge of manners?

"Captain Jack Harkness. I'm guessing you handsome boys are Sherlock Holmes and Loki? Love the blog." Harkness offered a hand to them, shaking theirs briskly when they didn't automatically shake his back. "The Doctor certainly didn't elaborate how cute you two were."

"Time and place, Captain Harkness. We can have a good flirt later." Loki received a sharp punch in the arm for that. "That is of course if my mortal beloved will allow."

"Oh don't worry, ole blue eyes," Harkness assured, wrapping his arm around the thoroughly unimpressed – or possibly, disgusted – detective. "I am very open to having more than one at a time. Got a weakness for dark haired, blue eyed beauties to be honest."

"Not happening." This was the Doctor's contact? "You are the Doctor's associate then. Definitely not of our time period. Far too open and no one wears both suspenders and a belt at the same time. It's far too redundant. You have seen and/or do see a lot of action judging by the gun on your belt. Possibly military more likely con man since you don't wear an insignia. Also the Doctor hates militaries and guns and yes that does count as a gun no matter for futuristic it is." Loki exchanged a proud smirk with the now surprised captain.

"Wow… That was…. Actually kinda hot."

"Isn't it though? You should hear him when he gets excited. He likes to recite mathematical formulas just before he-"

"LOKI. Shut up!" Why were these outer space other realm types so keen to share some very intimate details? Especially when Loki knew Sherlock was actually quite self-conscious about it. The god had laughed for what felt like three hours the first time it had slipped from his mouth. "We are here on business, not to flirt." Oh way to not sound jealous, Holmes.

"Unfortunately, you're right, Mr. Holmes. Come on. I got us a table in the VIP section. I'd say associating with a prince would qualify for us, Mr. Holmes. Can I please call you Sherlock?'

"No. You can't." Loki gave his mortal a cocked eyebrow at the snippy tone he had used. The god knew Sherlock was not very fond of being hit on by anyone who wasn't him, but it didn't usually make him so irate. Normally, he just gave the flirt a very icy shoulder. Harkness clearly got the message, holding up his hands and backing up when the sleuth stood. "Let's just get this over with." Loki put his long legs to good use, catching up with his lover before he got extremely lost.

"You're going the wrong way."

"Sorry."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Do not lie to me, Sherlock Holmes."

"Do not order me about, Loki Laufeyson." Sherlock's sharp tone and use of his last name caught Loki off-guard. To say the man was upset would be quite the understatement. The question was why? Was it because Loki let slip about the equation rambles? He never understood why Sherlock was so shy about the habit. Loki only laughed so much the first time because it was just so Sherlock it was adorkable.

"Ooh…" The god had to suppress a growl. Or perhaps Sherlock felt inappropriately jealous by Loki's ease with Harkness.

"Well who belongs to that ringtone, Mr. Holmes?" Harkness asked as the trio sat down. "My first impression would not have pegged you to be the sort of guy into that."

"It's no one important."

"It wouldn't happen to have anything to do with this woman who hangs around your place and arguably runs a fan club for you boys?" While the god's eyebrows knitted together at this news, the mortal didn't seem fazed as he should have been at all.

"I suppose it is possible. Though I would have thought she would be above stalking. No one finds that sexy."

"Well apparently she isn't. We've had to save her a couple of times from unwanted visitors who were after you two. Found her in bed with one once too…" Harkness shivered. "Gotta give the girl some credit. She's got guts."

"Wait, have you been spying on us as well?" Loki wasn't sure what annoyed him more right now. The fact that Sherlock knew this mysterious female stalker or that this flirt who quite possibly knew no boundaries was. Was this his brother's doing? Did Thor really distrust him that much? "And if so why?"

"The Doctor asked me to keep an eye on you boys. You seem to act as a magnet for outer space creepers, Loki," Harkness explained, signaling for drinks. "Trust me. You need the extra protection."

"I am not a helpless child, Captain Harkness. I can handle my enemies on my own. I do believe I need new targets for practice anyway. I'm getting quite rusty with my spells…"

"Loki, you can't use a human woman for target practice," Sherlock warned, studying the bright violet cocktail that had been placed before him. "That would not help your case at all."

"Not to mention, she's actually really fun and well… My kind of woman." A slightly confused and fairly disgusted look crossed Sherlock and Loki's faces as Harkness winked from over his martini. "Hey if we're both going to be hanging around you two and I'm going to be rescuing her on an as needed basis, we might as well become… acquainted."

"So you are to be our babysitter yet also sleep with our stalker who may be plotting all sorts of foul plots? Oh yes, I definitely feel much safer now." And certainly much less attracted to you, you fop. Surely, the Doctor didn't really believe they needed this buffoon to protect them. Loki actually felt quite insulted by this.

"Just a temporary one. My understanding is you're not allowed any weapons and your magic has been made extremely limited." The god scowled at the reminder. Taking his magic was the most offensive thing S.H.I.E.L.D. had done to him upon his house arrest. "Well, your enemies are threatening the planet and you can't really defend yourself so yes I'm gonna do that till you can earn your talents back."

"Loki is more than safe at Baker Street without your aid. I happen to know quite a few methods of killing," Sherlock retorted, his hand finding Loki's fist. "We have more than enough means of protecting ourselves and our own from whatever attacks."

"And I think it's really sweet that you believe that, Sherlock. But I'm fairly certain you don't know how to fight off a Chitauri attack." That made the god tense if quite unperceivably. "Guns don't really work against those guys unless you are Black Widow. Like I said this is only temporary anyway. You… actually weren't supposed to know I was watching you… Staying away from such an adorable couple of hot guys like yourselves, however, is a very difficult task."

"Oh of course," Sherlock agreed with a roll of his eyes.

"But yeah that is why I called you two to meet me."

"So the Doctor didn't call us at all."

"Pretty much. He doesn't know about this meeting. He kinda figured Loki wouldn't be too thrilled about my watch. He's probably going to kick me out of the Companion Club when he finds this about this. So let's keep this low key shall we?" Neither god nor mortal was very impressed by the pun. "Oh well. Now you boys know."

"Why reveal yourself though?"

"You boys need allies. I'm not the only one keeping a close eye on you. I'm the only one who doesn't necessarily see you as a threat. And I'm not talking about S.H.I.E.L.D."

"We're well aware of U.N.I.T.'s presence. They're not very adept at hiding in plain sight," Loki explained without looking up. Sherlock and Harkness exchanged concerned looks, finally picking up on the nervous air surrounding the god. He was certainly not completely with them. "They may see me as a threat still but they are hardly one themselves."

"I see. Well." The pair's new acquaintance downed his martini. "No point in wasting a good night on depressing subjects. Come on, boys! Party's on me tonight!" And it was indeed quite a party, but Loki paid no mind as it did little to ease the growing terror in the Mischief God's mind…