Author's Note: Okay, so this has probably been the hardest chapter I've had to write. For some reason it just wasn't coming out properly and I still don't like it that much but I figured I'd post it because it's been two weeks. I hope you enjoy none-the-less.
Each day kills me a little bit more, having to tell her about our contribution. She hugs us just a little bit tighter, becomes just that more protective of Asher. She looks tired and I know she doesn't sleep well anymore, but at least she doesn't have nightmares plaguing her like Peeta and I do. They're filled with Lily screaming for us to get away from her; grabbing Ash and running into the woods. They keep running until they run into Cato, or Clove, or Marvel. I watch as they kill them quickly, not even giving me a chance to protect them. It's been a long time since I've dreamed of them and I know dredging up past memories to tell Lily about the Games is what's causing it.
She goes to Haymitch's a little less frequently, understanding why he drinks so much. She gets upset if Peeta and I ever joke about it, even when Haymitch himself does as well.
Lily still asks me to take her into the woods, her eyes more determined and focused than before. I'm not sure whether this scares me or not. Her tread becomes lighter, her movements more precise. I often have to remind myself that I was her age when my father died and that she is just becoming a more capable archer.
We'd recently been telling her more about Rue, she knows what is coming next. She shuddered when I had told her about the tracker jackets; I dread to tell her more of the significance in our lives it has become. I didn't miss her smile when I told her how Peeta saved my life.
"So, you whistled then? So you could find each other again?" Lily asks quietly.
"Rue sang, I whistled, like this." I quietly whistle the tune to her, and she repeats it.
"So I was able to destroy their food supply using the land mines and my arrows, and I went to go find Rue." I pause for a moment, Lily looks at me morosely. We've only bothered with significant events, which has so far been more about Capitol training, getting supplies (not explaining the bloodshed), tracker jackets, and Rue finding me. After this we are just planning on getting to the rule change and how everything ended.
"Can we stop here today? I think I know what's coming next but I'd like to take a break."
Peeta cuts in gently. "It's not going to get any easier hearing it tomorrow. We just have a few more minutes to get through today. Okay, sweetheart?" He asks, brushing a curl behind her ear. She nods her head, so Peeta continues where I left off.
"When your mother got back to the campsite the last fire had not been set. She heard Rue calling for her and found her caught in a net. While she was distracted, Marvel – from District 1 – threw a spear at them, so Katniss shot an arrow at him in response." Lily sucks in a breath. "The spear hit Rue, and your mom sang her to sleep and decorated her hair with flowers before the helicopter came to pick her up." My eyes prick with tears and for once I can't keep them at bay. They fall silently down my cheeks and I see some fall down Lily`s as well. I lean forward and kiss them off her cheeks. Peeta continues.
"We didn`t know this at the time, but District 11 revolted because of this. They never expected tributes to act kindly towards each other, especially in the Games. They decided that it was the time to rise up against the Capitol despite their lack of power."
Lily remains silent for a moment, her tears interrupted by a realization.
"Did the District 1 boy die?" She asks me, the real question hanging silently between us.
"Yes." I tell her simply, she nods her head again.
"What song did you sing to Rue?" This question throws me, but she always seems to keep doing that.
"The Meadow Song."
"Like you used to sing to Auntie Prim?" I smile.
"The same." Lily looks me in the eyes and offers me a small smile; she doesn`t shy away from me in fear like I expected her to. Lily just continues to hold my hand.
A few days later, we are all sitting together at the kitchen table finishing up breakfast when she asks me to braid her hair like she does almost every morning. I start combing through her curls and prepare the two sections when she asks me to do only one braid. I do so in silence. When I`m done she turns around and hugs me close. We had just finished telling her about the 74th Games, and most importantly Cato`s speech in the end.
"Why did you want just one braid today?" She takes a moment to answer.
"I want everyone to know who I am; that I am the daughter of the star-crossed lovers from District 12. I want to be just as strong as you are and prove to everyone that your efforts were not in vain. I know there`s a lot more to the story but I can take it, because I am the child of two survivors."
I`ve never been so proud of her in my entire life; when everything was over I did anything I could to run away from the Games. And here my daughter sits, ready to face the world in a way I never was.