Author's Note: Okay, I'm so sorry for how long this has taken. It is officially the last chapter. BUT, there will be a sequel coming in a month or so. I apologize again, life got busy. :P This is officially the first fanfiction I have ever finished that is longer than two chapters. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. The sequel will pick up where this is left off, and it will be much more original because it will be from the perspective of a character I created, just like this chapter is.

I hate knowing. It hurts too much. I hate that this is killing my parents to tell me, it's been killing them ever since they were reaped. There is no escaping these feelings. I don't ask my mom to braid my hair anymore; I think it's too painful for her and dad to see it. Instead I coil up the curls and weave them into a bun.

I'm furious when I learn of how Aunt Prim passed; she was barely older than me. I can't imagine being a nurse in the middle of a war right now. She was so brave. My parents are so brave. I'm a coward in comparison. I can't even bring myself to talk to others to try and make friends; and yet my parents have fought for their lives time and time again.

When I told my mother this she disagreed. "You're at your bravest when there isn't an option not to be. Luckily, you've never been put in a situation like that and you never will." I feel guilty that my mother and father as teenagers had to learn this coping method.

Sometimes I dream of the Hunger Games. But it's very abstract, even with the book. I guess I'm grateful for that. My parents said I could look at it as long as I put it back on the top shelf away from Asher's prying hands. He's almost five and that's way too young to know. When I take him to the meadow I'm extra careful, I think my parents trust me now that I know their history; and I know sometimes it's nice to mourn in solitude.

I think I've become more mature then the average almost twelve year old. Most parents don't tell their kids about the Games and just let the school board do it. I think that's irresponsible. Each person has a perspective that should be heard. I know why my parents' in particular decided to tell me. They are so woven up in it, and we don't know what the schools will be teaching yet. Mom and Dad wanted to ensure that I had the right perspective and know all of their motivations for why it happened; for why my mom killed Snow and wasn't sent to jail. I know that once other children learn I will be treated differently, though I'm not quite sure how yet.

I feel guilt for so many children that have no idea, and their parents' are shirking themselves of duty by just letting school do it.

I'm not afraid of my father like I thought I'd be. It does help that he hasn't had an explosion since I was five. I remember it very clearly. We were planting primroses in the garden when we smelt something else (I didn't realize at the time that this was for my lost sister). Down the street a little, a new family was planting roses, and their heavenly scent filled the air. I remember how my dad's arms and face grew taunt and he suddenly stormed down the street. He bent down and starting ripping out the roses and no matter what I said he wouldn't stop. He got cuts from the thorns all down his arms and hands. I remember not being scared of him, but being scared he would hurt himself. I ran to Haymitch's house and he came out and calmed dad down. He then yelled at him for losing control while I was around.

They both looked at me with blue and grey eyes and I think I finally understood that they were keeping something big from me.

"I love you." I said to my daddy.

"I love you too darling." He said and he picked me up in his arms and held me close.

Ever since I would on occasion see my dad go taunt, but he never lost control again.

It's like my mom, but she's better at internalizing things. She doesn't have an explosion but her eyes go blank and I know that she is remembering. I'm stuck between letting it pass or trying to distract her.

I think Asher knows about this. The other day the blank expression came across her face and Asher had just gotten out of bed.

"Mama, Mama." It didn't matter how many times he said it, she was gone in her own world. He looked at me confused, and then became sad. I picked him up over my shoulder which caused him to squeal and laugh. I got a muffin and a glass of milk for his breakfast and put them at his spot on the table. Once he was happily munching along, mom finally came to and kissed our foreheads. Ash smiled, but it wasn't as big as usual. It's amazing that a four year old can know if something is up, but I guess I was around the same age when I started guessing too.

My mom holds me to her side and says, "Thank you Lily, you're such a great older sister."

I hug her and whisper, "I love you."

She smiles and whispers back, "I love you, too."

And that is enough. As long as we love each other, everything will be okay.

Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed it. I'm a little sad that it is over. But stay tuned! Sequel will be coming in about a month :D I think the sequel will be called "From the Ground Up". But in the description I'll say that it's a sequel. I was originally planning on more Katniss chapters but I felt like it would get too repetitive. Please R & R. Thank you to all my loyal readers, I love you.