XXV

"You've been on Earth how long and have never heard of mistletoe?" Peggy asked as she struggled against the hopelessly entangled Christmas lights. Loki shrugged as he carefully tucked Basil and Baymax into the tree. Since Peggy had moved in, Basil the tsum had acquired so many new friends Sherlock was convinced that the plushes were breeding.

"Several years. And I know of the plant of course. I simply don't understand what it has to do with Christmas, little cousin."

"I told you not to call me little."

"Then grow a few more inches and I might not." He chuckled as he dodged festive projectile. "What does mistletoe have to do with a traditional Midgardian Christmas then?"

"Well whoever you are standing under the mistletoe with you have to kiss." One dark eyebrow shot up at that.

"Oh really now?" Peggy nodded as she flopped onto the couch, conceding defeat to the Christmas lights. Elsa, who had somehow hidden herself away from the decorating madness, reappeared, curling herself up in the young woman's lap.

"Oh yes. Dad always has waaaaay too much fun with the plant every year," she explained as she began to absent mindedly pet Elsa. The dragon, who was normally shy around new people, had taken quite a liking to 221B's newest resident. "I'm pretty sure he had at least two in every room."

"Speaking of a parent, are you not visiting yours for the holidays?"

"No, he had something come up so you're stuck with me." The god was somewhat surprised at how relaxed Peggy was about the fact.

"And that doesn't bother you?"

"Oh now. Dad always makes up for missing important dates. And usually tenfold." Loki smirked as he conjured a stocking for Sherlock. He figured Christmas was an excellent time to give Sherlock the potion, which had finally finished maturing.

"'Tenfold?' I do believe your studies are bleeding into your vocabulary."

"Said the walking Shakespeare character." That elicited a chuckle from said character.

"Point made I suppose."

"Speaking of Christmas with loved ones, where is our host anyway?"

"Sherlock had a case."

"On Christmas Eve?"

"'Criminals never sleep,' he says. I think he just forgot it was Christmas."

"I suppose that is possible. But you would think he would remember the day he got engaged. Surely, he's not that emotionally constipated." Loki began to run his fingers across the scars on his lips as he stepped back to judge his decorating attempt. Usually, Marry helped him earlier than this but the Watsons had decided to visit family for Christmas. How Sherlock managed to tear John away for this case, he had no clue. Even the good doctor had his limits to that undying loyalty.

"You'd be surprised what Sherlock manages to miss. I had to remind him we had an anniversary today."

"Could have fooled me with how loud you two were this morning," Peggy commented with an annoyed frown. Loki chuckled weakly, swatting at the whispering trying to start in his ear.

"Aren't you glad you didn't have class?"

"I was till I couldn't sleep in. I don't care that you guys go at it but goodness, keep it down while I'm in the house, will ya?"

"N-now where's the fun in that?" Pull yourself together, he mentally chided himself. He wasn't quite certain what exactly started it, but in recent weeks and months the god had begun to suffer what Dr. Watson called "panic attacks" again. Particularly so in Sherlock's absence.

Well perhaps it wasn't entirely true that Loki did not know what was making him panic whenever Sherlock was gone for too long. It was the madness with this damned Stone. If some foolish mortal like Moriarty could even catch a whiff of an Infinity Stone, it couldn't possibly be long before Thanos came for it. Thus, Sherlock would be in double the danger. Perhaps Moriarty was only barely a threat, but the Mad Titan…. It was the only weapon he had left against the god.

"Loki, are you ok?" The god shot her a confused look. "You're trembling."

"No, I'm not."

"Tell your hand that." He looked down and was quite surprised to see his hands were indeed shaking rather hard.

There will be no realm… "Please excuse me, Peggy."

"Do you want me to call Sherlock?" she asked as she moved Elsa off her lap. The dragon's only indication of opinion was an irritated snort.

No barren moon… "No… I… No…"

"Are you sure?"

No crevice where he cannot find you… "Yes… I-uh… I just need to lie down…" Or him…

*******Burdened with glorious deductions*******

Sherlock barely gave the cab a chance to stop before he was bolting out of the door and into 221B. "Sherlock, wait!" But the detective completely ignored his friend's call. How could he give a damn about some bloody cabbie when something was apparently seriously wrong with Loki?

The pair had just been investigating a boring "death by mistletoe" murder when Peggy had texted Sherlock to come home, that something was wrong with his fiancé. The sudden reoccurrence of Loki's panic attacks was more than enough to make anyone worry. But the fact that he was home alone with Peggy, who most likely had no idea about the god's PTSD… He had no doubt that the SHIELD agent was well trained to defend herself but she was still human. There was only so much she could possibly do against an agitated god without shooting him.

"Loki! Loki are you al-"

"SHHHH!" There were many things Sherlock's frantic panicked mind had expected to be greeted by. Peggy sitting at the kitchen table shushing him was not one of them. "He's sleeping." She pointed towards the living room.

Sure enough, Loki was curled up on the couch, fast asleep. As Sherlock made a beeline for the couch, his slowly calming mind finally registered violin music playing from an unseen source, specifically a lullaby he had composed for Loki shortly before their engagement. But some miracle, there seemed to be no damage to the flat. Impressive. "What happened?"

"Panic attack from what I can tell. He kept muttering about 'No where's safe…'" She explained, turning to face the pair. "I didn't see anything that might trigger it but then again I'm no expert."

"How did you manage to calm him without destruction?" She shrugged.

"He wasn't really that violent. Or at least he didn't get that far. Once we got the music started he passed out. He almost didn't make it to the couch." Upon closer inspection, Sherlock noticed Loki wasn't actually asleep. For whatever reason, he was only pretending to do so.

"How did you even know how to help him?" John, who had finally caught up and his breath, asked. "We're still figuring out what to do when he has panic attacks. That doesn't involve knocking him out."

"My dad has PTSD. For him, it manifested as panic attacks for a while. So I at least know the signs. The music was more luck though," Peggy answered calmly. "Yay for the Battle of New York."

"Oh. Your dad a soldier or a police man?" Peggy tried to give the former soldier one of her knowing smiles but a yawn ruined the delivery.

"A soldier so to speak," she answered.

"Go to bed, Peggy. You're falling asleep in your chair," Sherlock noted, watching Loki's hand.

"You sure? If he wakes up, you may need help."

"We'll be fine. You can't help if you're half asleep anyway."

"Mm… true enough. Night all."

"Goodnight." Sherlock just waved a bit, trying to discern what Loki's hand was fiddling with. There was an awkward silence between detective and blogger after that.

"You don't have to hover, John. I suspect Loki and I are just fine."

"Are you sure? Mary will understand…"

"No. Go home. We'll be just fine."

"Alright… Well… Call if you need me." Sherlock nodded an affirmative, hoping a lack of verbal answer would speed John's exit as he perched himself next to the "sleeping" god. Sure enough, John left shortly after that, but Sherlock still waited for the sound of a shut door before speaking.

"You are surprisingly bad at faking sleep." Loki groaned, nuzzling into Sherlock's hand where it was stroking his hair.

"You woke me up…"

"I thought something was wrong." The god turned onto his back, looking at his mortal with sleepy eyes. "Peggy said you were having another panic."

"More or less…"

"Any idea why they are popping up so suddenly?"

"A theory."

"Care to share?"

"I can't yet."

"Yet?" Loki nodded a little. "But you will tell me soon?"

"You'll find out soon enough…" Sherlock was about to ask what he meant when Big Ben interrupted them to ring in the holiday. "Merry Christmas, Sherlove."

"Merry Christmas, Lo – What is this?" Loki had pressed a small vial into his hand, which he assumed was whatever the god was playing with earlier. Inside the vial was some strange blue liquid that seemed to glow a little. The god had wrapped a bit of green and gold ribbon around the rim to make it more festive. It didn't take much for Sherlock to figure out he was holding a vial of magic.

"It's a potion that will… extend your life…" Now the detective had long expected Loki to find a way to arranged eternal life for him. Still, the realization that he was holding it in his hands hit him like Thor's hammer. "I don't intend to ever lose you, Sherlock Holmes. But… I won't force you to drink this…"

"What's the point of giving me this then?" The Trickster turned his attention to his nervous fingers.

"So I couldn't go back on that promise." Sherlock had a witty comeback for that, but the clear guilt underlying that admission silenced him. "This potion is too dangerous to be in the hands of a selfish man. And I am a very selfish man… I'm not above forcing something as serious as near immortality on those I love."

"You just said you won't do that." Loki shrugged.

"God of Lies, Love. I have been known to lie to myself as well…" Sherlock rolled the vial between his fingers thoughtfully, considering everything Loki said.

Eternal life… The idea was certainly very tempting. See how the criminal class evolves if they do at all. Keep an eye of John's family for generations… Well… perhaps this was not a decision to rush into... "Can I think about this?"

"Of course. It is yours to take when you wish."

"Good." Sherlock tucked the vial into his shirt pocket, wanting to keep the fragile magic close by. Whatever he decided, that could come very much in handy one day. Loki scooted farther into the couch as his fiancé made quick work of removing his coats and scarf, allowing him to cuddle up to the god. "You know the bed is bigger."

"Mmm… this is cozier…" Sherlock chuckled. And Loki thought himself immune to sentiment. Not that Sherlock was actually complaining. Judging by everything Loki was saying, he only had a limited time to enjoy it….