Chapter 34
The following morning after breakfast, they strolled along the beach hand in hand and Bo kept looking at Carly; she caught his eye and smiled at him; the full, radiant smile that always made his world complete. Like it was right now. Tonight he was going to fix her a romantic dinner and then ask her to marry him. But before he did, he needed to ask her something else, something he could no longer hold back and allow to come between them later. Carly never loved Victor and as for Lawrence, he'd manipulated her and then showed his true colours; twice. But Tony was a totally different case. He stopped walking. Carly paused too, looking at him inquiringly. 'What is it?'
'Let's sit down for a while. I want to talk to you.'
Carly looked at him warily but allowed him to lead her to a flat rock where they could sit. Bo sat beside her, staring at her face earnestly. He could see the avid curiosity in her eyes and a tiny touch of fear but he was determined to have the conversation; his way of closure.
'This past few weeks, here with you, have been more than wonderful; just like the days when we were finally free from Victor's traps, the boat, the stolen moments on the loft's roof... remember those?'
Carly smiled, rubbing his jaw. 'Why won't I? They were all I had of you for years.' She said softly.
Bo took her hand, kissed it, squeezing it with his. 'But there's something I need to get off my chest. You asked me what would've happened between us years ago and I gave you my answer. Now I need to talk about your relationship with Tony.'
Carly smiled faded at the mention of Tony. 'Did I do or say something to make you feel threatened?'
'No, of course not!' he assured her immediately.
'Then why bring up the past? We agreed to move forward, we've always done that... at least I tried to when you asked me for a fresh start, I didn't demand anything.'
'I know and that was one of the reasons why I wanted you with me. I don't have any business asking you considering the way I treated you and let you down...' his heart tightened with shame and remorse. 'But it's not the first time I've been stupid when you're concerned. Like the time I found you in Lawrence's suite when you were trying to help me prove he was behind Steve's accident... and I got you away from him by telling him you were very important to me and he should back off?'
Carly swallowed, remembering all too well. 'We came out and I said, "I've been waiting to hear those words for so long" but you shunned me. That's why I couldn't join your family for Christmas dinner.'
'I was telling the truth, I wanted to take you in my arms so badly but I backed out... out of fear.' He pulled her close, slipping his arm round her. 'And then there was Victor. I was stupid and scared to admit I wanted you with me...'
'You were in pain.' she said softly.
'I knew I loved you and I pushed you away... to his arms! Just like I pushed you to Tony's. I need to know what you felt for him, Carly; I...I just have to.'
She sighed, turning to look at the ocean, her hair blowing in the breeze. Then she turned back to him, green eyes serious.
'First of all... I didn't go out with Tony to punish you or spite you in any way. Besides, since you and Hope had reconciled, I figured you'd be relieved I'd found someone else. I was heartbroken about Gwyneth and I was so angry with you and very hurt; I built this barrier around me to block you and the pain and went back to counselling... Adrienne's idea and then Tony and I became friends after the accident. I never planned to go beyond friendship but he was so kind and protective from the very beginning... and when he said he was in love with me but promised to take it slow; I figured... I could love this man, so why not give it a try. Especially since...' she blinked back tears, 'since I was fully convinced you'd been lying to me the whole time and I just wanted to erase you like you'd erased me. I tried so hard to!'
Bo's face wore the look of sheer pain. 'Is that what you meant when you said loving me was a burden?' He asked quietly.
She nodded, tears now falling down her cheeks. 'Yes. And I wanted to let go of it; to rid myself of what might-have beens; I forced myself to give you up. Then Tony offered me another shot at love... at my pace. I loved Tony, I really did. Not the deep, spiritual way I loved you but it wasn't infatuation either.'
'But you still loved me, like I always believed you did.' Bo stroked her hair.
'Oh Bo... I never stopped loving you; I don't think I ever could.' She touched his face briefly. 'But I'd totally given up on you and the trust was no longer I didn't have real feelings for Tony, which I did; I wouldn't have gone out with him, much less agree to marry him. I think part of the reason why I loved him was because he didn't make me feel like a trophy or...' she lowered her voice. 'Like a runner up.'
Bo pressed his face against hers, tears flowing down his own cheeks as he held her tightly in his arms. 'You're not a runner up.' He said emotionally. 'And I'm sorry for ever making you think you were and you're not to think such a thing again, you hear me? You're my life and I'm never letting you go again, never!'
Pulling away he held her face between his hands. 'I wouldn't have let you marry him.' he confessed. 'I was going to do what I didn't have the guts to do on your wedding day with Victor; kidnap you and take you away... make you listen to me and admit you loved me like I loved you!'
Carly's eyes widened but found herself not shocked by his admission. Bo may be older but still the passionate rebel at heart; he would have done it.
'And I do love you.' she whispered. 'I love you very much, sailor. Of that you can be certain... it's always been you! But just promise one more time you'll never leave me again.'
'Never again, princess.' He kissed her passionately, and they hugged each other. 'Never again!'
The past finally closed.
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'I don't think I'll find better fish and chips on the streets of London.' Carly grinned at him from across the table as she sipped her white wine. 'That was really delicious.'
'Well, be glad we decided to auction Ben or you'll need a crane to get up.' He grinned back. She'd named the blue marlin she'd caught "Big Ben", to his exasperation and the highest bid for him had been fifty dollars.
Carly laughed, putting her glass down, adjusting the napkin on her lap. Normally, they ate off trays on the couch and watched T.V; tonight he'd insisted on having dinner at the table; the sounds of the waves beyond a soft background noise. And she was wearing one of her sundresses instead of shorts and a top as usual and he looked so handsome in his black shirt and jeans. And, perhaps it was her imagination, he looked a little nervous. Now what was wrong?
'Are you okay?' she asked.
He smiled, inwardly anxious to give her the two last things he'd been holding back. 'Sure I am. And I hope you saved enough room for desert.' He stood up.
'Please tell me it's something in terms of ice cream.'
'No, it's not. Don't go away.'
In seconds he was back and Carly straightened up when she saw what he was carrying on a saucer. 'I don't believe it' she whispered. It was a Sno ball with a pink lit candle on it. 'Bo, this is so sweet...' she kissed his cheek as he took a chair next to her, setting the saucer down in front of her. Brushing back a strand of hair, she blew the candle out.
'Remember when I first gave you this?' he asked softly.
'On my twenty sixth birthday.' She sniffled, wiping away a tear.
'The same day my life changed forever; the day we fell in love; this is another piece of our history.' He said softly, touching her face, tracing her bottom lip with his thumb. 'I never ever thought I would love deeply again but there you were; like the guardian angel you turned out to be. I let you out of my grasp more than once and I'm so grateful and happy you forgave me.'
Carly squeezed his hand, smiling faintly.
'This has been a wonderful time for us, being together, reconnecting, starting over and letting go of the past. But I need something else from you to make my happiness complete.' From his pocket he drew out the velvet box, placing it next to the saucer. Carly trembled, staring at it.
'Open it, princess.'
Carly obeyed, flipping the lip open. It was a Claddagh ring like the one he'd given her for Christmas years ago. This one though wasn't silver; it was white- gold with a diamond heart and crown between the two clasped hands; symbolising Love, Friendship and Loyalty. 'It's so beautiful!' she whispered.
'It's a Diamant mo Chroí Claddagh ring... it means "Diamond of my Heart.''' Bo said softly. Sliding off the chair, he knelt at her feet. 'You're the diamond of my heart, Carly Marie. I carry you in my heart, in my thoughts and in my soul every day. For the rest of the time we've got on earth... I'm yours, if you'll have me.'
Carly's eyes filled with tears and he found his eyes were damp as well. Clearing his throat, he whispered, 'Will you be my wife, Carly?'
'Yes.' She nodded, tears rolling down her cheeks. 'Yes, I will!' she knelt as well, locking her arms round his neck. 'I love you so much!' she sobbed, kissing him.
Bo kissed her back fiercely, tears running down his cheek as well. 'I love you too.' He cried, in between kisses. 'God, how I love you!'
As their mutual emotion died down a bit, he pulled her to her feet and wiped her eyes. Carly smiled at him, her eyes alight with happiness and love.
Bo took the ring out, giving it to her. 'I had it engraved, look at what it says.'
Carly read: "To Carly, with love from Bo... Always."
'I really mean it.' He said softly. Carly was too moved and happy to speak. Instead she gave it back to him and held out her left hand. Kissing the ring, he slipped it on her finger, the diamond glittering in the light before hugging her again, stroking her hair. They needed no words.
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Bo found what he was looking for among Frankie's music collection; Luther Vandross. He placed the disc in the compartment and pressed "play". He held out his hand to Carly and she took it, slipping her other arm round his neck, his other arm round her waist as they slowly danced in time to the soulful music which was in keeping with the intense happiness they were feeling right now.
Always and forever
Each moment with you
Is just like a dream to me
That somehow came true, yeah
And I know tomorrow
Will still be the same
'Cause we got a life of love
That won't ever change and
Everyday love me your own special way
Melt all my heart away with a smile
Take time to tell me you really care
And we'll share tomorrow together
Ooh baby, I'll always love you forever
Ever, ever, ever
There'll always be sunshine
When I look at you, yeah
It's something I can't explain
Just the things that you do
And if you get lonely
Call me and take
A second to give to me
That magic you make and
Everyday love me your own special way
Melt all my heart away with a smile
Take time to tell me you really care
And we'll share tomorrow together
Ooh baby, baby, I'll always love you forever
Ooh baby, ooh baby, yeah baby, yeah baby, forever
Always love you forever
Always love you forever
Always love you forever
Yes, I'm the one who
Yes, I'm the one who loves you
Always and forever, I love you...
'I love you, princess.' He whispered against her neck.
'I love you too, sailor.' She whispered back, nestling against him. 'Only you. Always you.'