A/N: Thank you so much to my reviewers! SparklesJustReads and Oriana5, it's good to hear from you again! I think you guys are the only carryovers from my other story. Brinya is a little darker in this chapter. I wanted to peel back the layers of why she would consider being with someone like Thranduil and not all of her motives are pure.

Disclaimer: I own the ladies from Balinor and that's pretty much it.

Summary: Brinya considers Thranduil's offer.

Chapter 4: A Decent Proposal

Brinya made her way back to her quarters in a fog. She found the other ladies waiting for her in the common room.

"What did he want?" Lucinda asked immediately.

"Was it something disgusting, like cleaning chamber pots?" asked Dorinda.

"Or something boring, like reading to old blind ladies?" conjectured Belinda.

Brinya had to laugh, "Have you seen a lot of old blind ladies since we've been here, Belinda? In case you hadn't noticed, elves don't age, and I bet their eyes stay as perfect as the rest of them." She loved the sisters because, rather than in spite of, the ridiculous things they said. They provided so much entertainment.

Anoria spoke next, "What did the king ask of you? He seemed eager to have it attended by you specifically." Brinya wondered fleetingly if she should tell her sister everything. No, she decided, she couldn't. It was too unreal. She might wake up tomorrow to find that this had all been a dream, or worse, a cruel joke. She couldn't bear the shame if she told Anoria and it was all for naught.

"He wanted me to tend a garden," she said. It wasn't a lie. It was simply an omission of the truth.

Anoria raised her eyebrows in surprise, "But why you? Surely they have gardeners here."

"It's in an out of the way part of the palace. I suspect none of the servants are eager to be bothered with something that isn't likely to be useful." Again, not a lie, just not the whole truth.

"Can you manage?" asked Anoria, "I don't think I've ever seen you grow anything." Brinya coughed uncomfortably. Anoria was right. She'd never grown anything. It wasn't considered proper ladies work in Balinor to get dirty and even though she had defied many social conventions for the past few years, gardening hadn't been at the top of her list.

"I truly hope so," she said after a pregnant pause, "I don't want to make a fool of myself in front of the king." There. She had finally said something honest. "I think I'll go to bed now. It was a nerve wracking interview. Just being in King Thranduil's presence makes my hands shake. He's very imposing."

"And so tall," giggled Lucinda.

"And so beautiful," Dorinda chimed in.

"More beautiful than most ladies at court," cackled Belinda and the three of them burst into peals of laughter.

Anoria bid her sister goodnight. "You look a bit flushed," she said, "You don't have to do this, you know. If it… if he… if anything makes you uncomfortable, you are not obliged to participate in it. You don't need my permission to do what you think is proper."

Brinya squeezed Anoria's hand with affection. "Who is the older sister here?" she asked playfully, "I don't need you to look after me."

That night Brinya tossed and turned as she thought about King Thranduil's offer. She heard his voice in her head, "Help me in the garden. Give me time to win your affections." What did that really mean? The more she thought about it, the less sure she was that she was capable of genuine affection for someone outside of her own family. She had never been in love and if she was honest, she had never really had any close friends. Lucinda, Dorinda, and Belinda counted as family. They had known each other since they were little girls. She had never been very good at meeting people. She was shy, awkward in social situations, and not at all inclined to the girlish silliness people seemed to expect from an unmarried woman of a certain age. The person she was closest to in this life was Anoria. She couldn't imagine feeling that close to anyone else, but for the first time in her life she thought maybe she wanted to. Maybe she wanted a powerful man to want her. She had given up all hope of a decent marriage proposal a few years before. By her own people's standards she was simply too old. In Balinor, brides were young. Anyone willing to accept someone older probably had some serious drawback of his own, like a great many children to care for.

All her life people had looked down on her. All her life she had been illegitimate and unimportant. Now she suddenly had the chance to have everything that had always been out of her reach. As Thranduil's wife she would have almost unlimited influence at any court. When she returned to Balinor those who had scorned her would grovel at her feet. Ladies who had whispered ugly rumors about her would beg for her friendship. She would be fabulously wealthy. She had never seen the royal treasury in Mirkwood, but she heard it said that it contained white gems made from pure starlight. Perhaps Thranduil would give her a gem like that one day if she pleased him. That turned her thoughts in a different direction.

What if she didn't know how to please him? She had never been with a man. She knew the basic mechanics of it and she had heard plenty of talk at court, but she'd never done it herself. There had been one or two times she'd been tempted by a visiting ambassador's son or a new recruit in the palace guard. She wasn't afraid that it would be unpleasant. It was quite the opposite. She was afraid that it would be sweet and then that memory would haunt her on lonely nights for the rest of her life. She didn't intend to inflict more pain on herself. She had enough to deal with.

She tried to imagine what being with Thranduil would be like. He had said that he wanted to feel passion again, but was he capable? He was so cold. Looking into his eyes made her feel like she was looking at a frozen river, a place where there could be no life. She couldn't imagine what it would feel like to be swept up by him in a tender embrace, for him to press his lips to hers and hold her close. Would his lips be cold? She had never touched an elf. Did they give off body heat? She imagined that the rest of his body would be as perfect as his face. His skin was probably smooth and soft and he was probably well muscled. She couldn't imagine any further than that. She was afraid to.

She would accept his proposal. She would go to the garden and get to know him. Surely there was no harm in that. If she found that he was cruel or easily displeased, then she didn't have to go back. She only wanted to see what he was like, she told herself. She owed herself that much. She had been trying so hard for so long not to disappoint the people who loved her most. They believed the best in her in spite of everything. Her stepmother told her once that she was as fine as any lady at court and the fact that no man had proposed to her only proved that all men were fools. Brinya had cherished the compliment forever after. She had been so good and so proper for so long, but now she wanted something for herself. She wanted to be someone in the world's eyes and she wanted to have someone. She wanted to belong to someone important and to have him belong completely to her. She closed her eyes and imagined the pleasure she could experience with Thranduil in public and in private. She imagined the envious stares of women and the obsequious bows of men. She imagined him pressing his body to hers and showering her with the finest gowns and the most precious jewels. She would no longer be a bastard daughter from a little kingdom. She would be a queen.

Thranduil paced back and forth in the bridal garden. He couldn't sit still. He couldn't focus on anything. He hadn't heard a word his ministers had said to him this morning and he dismissed them all before lunch, saying that he had, "important affairs," that needed his attention. It was really only one potential affair, but they didn't know that. If he only knew if she would come to him, then perhaps he could focus on anything else. Suddenly he stopped pacing and let out a loud laugh. He didn't laugh often and the sound startled several pigeons who were nesting peacefully several yards away. He was feeling agitated, but the important thing was that he was feeling. Yes, it was uncomfortable, but it wasn't his normal numbness. He was actually finding his anxiety difficult to control.

"How do the race of men stand it?" he muttered.

"Stand what?" asked a voice from the doorway.

Brinya stood and looked in shyly at what appeared to be a private moment between the king and the pigeons. She looked lovely in a plain blue gown that highlighted her slim waist. "I'm sorry if I intruded," she said uncertainly, "I was under the impression that you wanted to see me again."

He cleared his throat, "There is no intrusion. I'm glad you have come, although I must admit I am somewhat at a loss for words. Yesterday I planned my speech very carefully. Today I find myself at a loss for words."

Brinya felt some of her unease dissolve, "I would never have imagined that I had the power to render you speechless, my lord."

"Even a king can be struck dumb by the presence of a beautiful woman," he said with a smile that reached all the way up to his eyes.

He really is pleased to see me, Brinya thought. "May I ask what you were thinking of when I came upon you?"

He waved his hand dismissively, "Agony," he said simply, "the kind of agony only a woman can inflict."

"My lord," she began apologetically, "If there is anything I have said or done," but he put up his hand to silence her.

"You have done nothing for which you should apologize. You have already made me feel something I haven't experienced in a long time."

She looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to continue.

He threw his head back and laughed a long mirthful laugh, "Embarassment. It has been a long time since I cared enough about anyone's opinion to feel embarrassed."

His laugh was pleasant and Brinya felt the knot in her stomach shrink, "I'm afraid that embarrassment is all I'll be feeling once you see my gardening skills."