Chapter One – Going Through The Motions
EPOV
Beep. Beep. Beep.
I wake up to the sound of my alarm clock's shrill beeping. 6:45 in the morning, time to rise and shine.
I pull the down comforter from my body and sit up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I turn around and gently squeeze my wife's shoulder, signaling to her that it's time to get up. When I'm sure that she is participating in the land of the living, I get up and head into the bathroom. I turn on the shower and let the water run, waiting for it to warm up. I look in the mirror and take a deep breath, allowing the steamy air to enter my nostrils.
It's just another morning, another day in the life.
I step into the shower and revel in the feeling of the warm water on my tense muscles. It's going to be a long day at the office and I need to mentally prepare myself for the tedious day ahead. I step out of the shower and wrap a towel around my waist, leaving the bathroom.
Tanya has moved from the bedroom and made her way downstairs to start breakfast. I see that she's left my clothes out on the bed. A nice pair of khaki pants, with a crisp white shirt and striped blue tie. I sit down on my side of the bed and run my hands through my messy hair. Actually, messy in an understatement. Ever since I was young, my hair has had a mind of it's own. Taming it is like going against nature.
I look at the clock, 7:10. I should start getting ready for work.
I stand up and dry myself off with the towel. Then, I unfold the pants and pull them over my legs, securing them with a belt. I put on the shirt and button it up, arrange my tie and secure it with one of my father's tie clips. I walk over to Tanya's full-length mirror and examine myself. I run my fingers through my hair, trying desperately to get it to do something, before giving up and sighing.
This as good as it's going to get.
I grab my briefcase and check it to make sure I have everything I need before I begin down the stairs. As soon as I do, I can smell bacon, eggs, and the scent of fresh squeezed orange juice. Tanya's going all out for breakfast this morning, which makes me suspicious.
I enter the kitchen and as if sensing my presence, Tanya turns and smiles at me. She sets a full plate of food down at my spot at the table and returns to fix herself a plate of breakfast. I sit tentatively and start eating, wondering what could have compelled her to be so nice.
It isn't that Tanya is a horrible person, most men would wonder what is wrong with me for not being completely blissfully happy with her. She's an admittedly beautiful woman she just has a tendency to overreact and let herself get worked up over nothing. My co-worker Rosalie refers to her as the 'Wicked Bitch of the West'. I guess that at her worst, Tanya does have a bitchy persona, but I'm her husband. It's much job to take the good with the bad. It's the way I was raised to act.
Tanya sits down across from me and I muster up a smile.
"Good morning," I say.
"Good morning, Edward," she says too happily. Now I know something is up.
We sit in silence for a few moments as I try to figure out what's going on in her head. I wish I could read minds, it would make dealing with Tanya so much easier. I notice she's playing with her food rather than eating it and take this as my cue to say something.
"Is something the matter, Tanya?"
"Now that you mention it, Edward, there is something I need to talk to you about."
I grip my fork a little tighter, preparing myself for the worst. The problem with 'talking' to Tanya, is that she can very easily sway the conversation in her favor to make things work her way.
"Oh?" I ask.
"Yes. Edward, I know we've gone over this many times before, but I think we need to talk about our family."
"Our family?" I question, feigning confusion. I know exactly what Tanya wants to talk about. She's about to burst into what could be a three day long rant about how her "biological clock is ticking" and she wants to have children before it's too late.
"Edward, I'm not getting any younger. I want to have a family and I don't understand why you're so hesitant to take that next step. We've been married for five years, I think it's about time we move forward with our lives."
"Tanya, I can't talk about this right now. I have to get to work." I say standing up and looking for a way out of this conversation. I'd rather play in traffic than listen to her go on and on again.
"You can't run away from this problem forever, Edward!" She shouts standing from the table and following me into the front hall.
"I'm not running away, I'm going to be late for work. We'll talk later," I say reaching for my coat.
"Edward, stop. All I'm saying is this; if you can't give me the family I want, then maybe I'll have to find someone else who can!"
I stop and turn to face her, barely able to hide my anger. Someone else who could? Was she honestly standing in front of me offering an ultimatum? Now, I'm just pissed.
"Tanya, I'm not having this argument with you again. You do whatever you feel is necessary. Honestly, I'm tired of having the same conversation over and over again. You know where I stand and if you're not content with that, I don't know what to tell you. I'll see you when I get home. Goodbye."
I walk away from her and out the door, slamming it behind me. I make my way to my car and get in, resting my head against the steering wheel. This wasn't how I wanted to start my fucking day.
In all honesty, I don't know why I'm hesitant to start a family with Tanya. I want nothing more than to someday see my children running around playing and growing up. To teach a son to play baseball, or watch a daughter's dance recital. I want to know that I've helped create something beautiful. That I've instilled a little piece of myself into someone else. I want a family.
Yet I've given her every excuse in the book not to.
What's the rush?... We're still young... I want to focus on my career... Let's worry about us for now.
I'm stalling and I'm not entirely sure why. Tanya is my wife, the woman I've chosen to spend the rest of my life with. It's normal to start a family once two people were married. Here we are five years later and I have managed to avoid the issue for all this time.
Maybe it's time to man up and stop being such a pussy. Do the thing a husband should and give Tanya what she wants. I ponder this as I pull out of the driveway and into the busy Chicago traffic, but then I think of the ultimatum she offered me and feel myself getting pissed all over again.
We've had the same senseless argument for five years. Neither one of us seems to be willing to budge and I wonder why we can't just put this shit behind us and move on.
Because you're arguing with Tanya which equates to arguing with a damn brick wall.
I was raised to understand that marriage was a sacred thing. Something that shouldn't be taken lightly. It was about compromise and working together. When I was young, I thought Tanya and I could have all of that and more. When I was young, I didn't know shit.
When I was a young, I had the boyish dream of the perfect marriage. I fantasized about spending the rest of my life with the absolute love of my life. My partner, my soulmate.
What I got was far from ideal. In my own way, I do love Tanya, in the way a husband in supposed to. Still, I can't deny that our marriage was one of convenience. My parents asked me several times before I proposed if I was sure that Tanya would make me happy – and each time I assured them I felt I was doing the right thing.
In all honesty I did feel at the time that I was doing the right thing. The right thing for the wrong reasons. In my young mind, marrying Tanya seemed like the logical next step. We'd met at Dartmouth, where I was finishing my degree in law. She was from a prominent family in Massachusetts and my family holds high standing in Chicago. We were both privileged, young, and stood with the rest of our lives ahead of us.
I've always known that Tanya isn't 'the one', but when you're young, you don't want to wait forever to find that elusive soulmate that so many people claimed exists. When I was young, Tanya seemed like a logical life partner. So I threw away my dreams of true love and did what I thought was best for me at the time. If you had told me then that I'd be sitting here in traffic, seething over her comment, I may have thought differently.
It's not that I don't have a lot to be grateful for, I honestly do. I just feel as though, sometimes, my seemingly perfect life is missing something. Still, nobody can change time. I made the choice to marry Tanya and now I must live with the consequences of that choice.
I make my way slowly through traffic until I reach the Starbucks closest to the office. Although it's shaping up to be a long day, I'm actually looking forward to work, as I do most days. Going to work offers me anywhere from eight to nine hours of peace from the nagging of my wife. It gives me time to just be with people I enjoy being around and do what I love.
I work at Cullen Howarth Law Firm, and I'm well on my way to making partner. Uncle Carlisle gave me a job after I'd completed my degree at Dartmouth. He felt that I had potential and was intrigued to see what I would make of it.
Carlisle and my father, Edward Sr. go way back. They were buddies at Dartmouth themselves and it was there that they met there wives; my mother, Elizabeth, and my Aunt Esme. Yet another reason I originally thought marrying Tanya was a good idea. I was following in the footsteps of my father and uncle.
The lucky bastards just got a better deal than I did.
I walk up to the counter and order everyone's usual coffee from the young barista. I don't fail to notice how she looks me up and down. Not to sound cocky, but I'm used to this kind of attention from women. I've been receiving it in large quantities since high school and I won't deny that on any given night when Tanya's really pissing me off, I use it to get back at her.
The girl stumbles back with my coffee a few moments later and I thank her, making sure to leave a nice tip for her. I walk back out to my car and get in, securing the drink tray and taking off once again for the solace my office has to offer. I pull into the parking garage and take my usual space closest to the elevator that will take me to our offices.
I try my best to get all thoughts of Tanya from my mind on the elevator ride up, knowing that I'll need a clear head when I'm going over my case files today. The bell on the elevator rings, signaling my arrival and before I know it I'm bombarded by co-workers looking for their morning coffee. When the mob subsides, only my partner Rosalie is left, laughing at my now disheveled appearance.
"Don't tell me, big, tough Edward can't handle the morning brigade and their need for caffeine," she chuckles.
"Cute, Rose. I believe it's your turn for the next Starbucks run and I can't wait to see how you handle it."
"I'll handle it like I handle everything. Better than you," she jokes.
Rosalie started at the firm a month after I did. Since we were both new, she and I bonded almost instantly. We worked our way up from the bottom and now we're both able to sit at the top and just enjoy the view. We played off each others' competitive nature from day one, but didn't take each others' comments and jokes to heart. At the end of the day, I have a world of respect for Rosalie, not only as my partner through all of this, but as a person too.
"So what exactly is on the agenda for today?" I ask.
"Well, we each have a pile of cases on our desk to look over. Carlisle sent us everything from victims of petty theft to assault cases. None of them seem to major, but then again, nothing around here's been that major lately."
Rosalie is right. Our firm has hit somewhat of a dry spell lately. It isn't that there isn't much crime, that's for sure. In a city like Chicago running out of crime is never a problem. The problem stems from the fact that so few of the cases we've received lately have been anything substantial. I've been dying to sink my teeth into a big case for weeks, but nothing has come my way.
"Sounds like a fun filled day," I reply sarcastically.
"Most definitely. Oh, then at about noon, Carlisle has a list of new assistants for you to interview," she adds nonchalantly.
"Oh, fucking joy," I mutter.
"Well maybe if you weren't such a big baby and didn't have to drive every assistant you get insane you would have this problem, Masen. Carlisle figures that maybe if he lets you hand pick the candidate this time things will go better."
"Good luck."
I have a history of being extremely selective when it comes to my assistants. It's not that I'm a bear to work for, it's just that I like things done a certain way and no one seems to meet my expectations. I'd rather just do without and handle things on my own, but Carlisle insists that if I ever plan on making partner someday, I need an assistant by my side to help out when things get overwhelming. Still, the thought of conducting interview after interview just doesn't sound like something I want to do.
"Tell you what, Eddie. Since I'm such a giver, I'm willing to help you out. Emmett has a friend from college who just moved here recently and she's looking for a job. She graduated from Berkeley, she's a hard worker and I have a feeling she and you will click. Why don't you let me give her a call and see if she's available this afternoon to see you?"
Emmett is Rose's fiancee. He's big and loud and sometimes a little too much to handle. I can only imagine what this friend of his could be like. Rose knows me and my low tolerance for bullshit though, so I'm sure she wouldn't set me up like that. Especially since she knows I really don't want to hold these interviews today... or ever.
"If it saves me from having to sit through a parade of bimbos and jackasses, do whatever you want."
"You're so lucky I'm here to save your ass, Edward Masen," she smirks.
"Yeah, I'll make sure to get your name tattooed on my ass so everyone knows it belongs to you."
"Might as well, I come to it's rescue often enough."
With that, Rosalie walks off, her heels clicking on the cold marble of the office floor. I pick my briefcase up off the counter I set it on and head to the quiet of my office.
I sit down at my desk and wait for my computer to load up. Just as Rose told me, there is a pile of cases a mile high waiting for me on my desk. I sift through some of them to get a taste of what's in store for me and find that there's nothing of much interest. I'm a firm believer that every case deserves to have it's story heard, but I don't think it would kill the world to throw something exciting my way.
When my computer finally boots up, I check my emails and try to waste as much time as I can before sorting cases with a fine tooth comb. As soon as I exhaust all my options for distraction, I grab the first file from the stack and lean back in my chair, going over the details.
It's been and hour and I'm on my fifth case file when I hear the glorious sound of my phone ringing. I put the file and answer on the third ring.
"Hello, Edward Masen speaking."
"Edward, it's Carlisle. I need you to come to my office as soon as possible. I have something important to discuss with you."
"I'll be right there," I say quickly hanging up the phone.
On my way to Carlisle's office, I can't help but let my mind wander over all the possibilities of what he has to tell me. Maybe I've earned some sort of all-expense paid vacation or a promotion of some sort. Maybe today is the day he'll finally say the words I've been waiting to here since I started the firm. The words that made me partner.
I get to his door and knock, waiting for him to allow me entrance. Carlisle calls me in, I open the door and close it behind me, sitting in one of the plush chairs in front of his desk.
"Edward, son, how are you?" He asks looking up from a file on his desk.
"I'm alright," I say nonchalantly.
Carlisle looks at me, assessing my expression for a few moments. I don't know why I've bothered to lie to him. He knows me almost as well as my own father. Skepticism crosses his face.
"You wouldn't be lying to me. Would you, Edward?"
"It's nothing, Tanya and I had a disagreement this morning is all. Nothing to worry about."
"You want to talk about it?" He asks.
"Not right now. It's nothing that won't work itself out," I lie.
Carlisle still looks skeptical, but he let's the issue go for the time being and continues.
"Edward, I asked you to come in for a reason. It's no secret around the office that you're in line for a partnership in the firm. You're a hard worker and damn good lawyer. Marcus and I think you're almost ready, but we want to see how well you can handle yourself with a more substantial case."
"What do you mean more substantial?"
"Well, the firm received a high profile rape case yesterday afternoon. The victim of a man assumed to be a serial rapist needs representation. I want you to take on the case in tandem with Rosalie. Do a good job and consider yourself a partner. How does that sound?"
"Carlisle, I'd be honored. When do I begin?"
"I'll have the file sent to your office. You'll be meeting with the victim, a Miss Angela Webber, later this week. In the meantime, I want you to read over the file and start preparing case notes."
"Thank you, Carlisle," I say earnestly.
"I have faith in you, Edward. Make me proud."
"I will," I say determined for the words to be true.
I'm on a cloud as I leave Carlisle's office and make my way toward mine. Not only am I officially on the road to making partner, but I'm also heading one of the largest cases the firm has seen in months.
I'm on top of the fucking world.
Suddenly my fight with Tanya earlier fades into the distance. My marriage might be screwed for the time being, but at least I have something going for me. Besides, from the sounds of things this case will be pretty time consuming, which will save me from having to put up with Tanya's shit constantly. I'm still appreciating my new found silver lining when my intercom buzzes.
"Mr. Masen?" Jessica, one of the general secretaries says.
"Yes?"
"There's a Miss Isabella Swan here to see you. She says she is a friend of Ms. Hale's and she's here for an interview?"
"Send her right in." I answer, straightening my tie.
In my rush of excitement I had almost forgotten Rose was sending her friend over. I hope she's not uptight like my last assistant or flighty like the one before her. I just want someone normal who can get the job done and provide me with what I need. I turn around and look out the window at the busy Chicago streets below as I wait for this Isabella to come in.
"Mr. Masen?" Someone calls softly.
I turn around and face my prospective new assistant.
Oh, fuck me.
So here's my new story! I'm taking a completely different approach on this one. New rating and everything! Which reminds me, not quite yet, but soon, it will get a little bit lemony fresh. Just a heads up to everyone! Reviews make me write faster! ;)
Until next time!