DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter or any of this story's characters, except for Sarilee.
Concerning the storyline: At the beginning of this story, it mentions Harry. This story takes place before Harry is born. Which means that everything you see after Severus's flashback is a flashback. I know it sounds confusing; this whole story is is a flashback except for that part at the beginning that mentions Harry. Get it? Got it? Good. Please review!
"It eez okay, James! Do stop panicking!" said Sarilee fretfully.
"No, Sarilee, it's not okay! Lily . . .what if Snape's House-elf went and told him about . . . you?" said James, wringing his wrists and looking down at his fiancée.
"Eef you really loved me," said Sarilee," you would not care what that Evans girl theenks."
James stared hopelessly at his girlfriend. "I'm sorry, Sari. So sorry."
Before she could respond, James grabbed his cloak and made his way towards the door.
"JAMES! Where are you going? I thought that you loved me. I thought that—"
"I do love you, Sari. But I need Lily right now." That is, if she isn't with Snape, thought James.
"Whatever. I knew eet. I knew that you loved 'er more than you love me. I knew it," Sarilee said angrily, tossing her hair and stalking out of the room.
James sighed; his hair was sticking up in every direction, his eyes almost certainly had bags under them, his face was greasy; he had none of his usual James-charm. This was going to be a long, tedious week.
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"Please speak to me, Lily," Severus pleaded hopelessly with his best friend of ten years.
"Severus, I really am sorry, but I need James right now."
"Why? What good is James Potter? He's an arrogant, cheating—"
"Cheating? Please enlighten me, Sev, I have no idea what you're talking about," said Lily loftily, crossing her thin arms over her chest.
"I-I just . . ." Severus scrambled to find the right words; Lily still did not know about Sarilee, and Severus had no intention of telling her. "I don't know, Lily. Please, just stay away from Potter."
"And what right do you have to tell me what to do, Severus?" Lily snapped; her face contorted with rage. Severus backtracked.
"I'm sorry—I don't have any choice, you're right, I just—"
"Please, Severus. I can't take this anymore." Without another word, Lily swept out of the room, leaving Severus gaping after her.
Lily ran, giving no thought to where she was going. She knew that she needed to see James, and yet—there was something stopping her. She knew it was wrong to shun Severus like she had done; he was the only one that had been there for her when she needed someone the most. It was just that she had a sneaking suspicion that he knew something she didn't—some sort of secret. Maybe he is keeping a secret from you, because you've been in a right state lately, chided a voice in her head. Maybe he's planning on leaving you.
Planning on leaving you. That voice, those words; they haunted her. Maybe he really was going to leave her, and he was just waiting for the right time . . .
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"James."
"Lily."
Lily found herself standing face-to-face with her husband, James Potter. By the looks of him, Lily knew that there was something wrong; his normally well-kept hair was oily, and it looked longer than ever; his eyes were sunken and dull, and his skin was waxy.
"Is there something wrong, dear?" Lily asked nervously, not wanting to sound too pushy.
"No." James's voice was hollow and shaky. Lily noticed that he frequently dug his fingers into his palms.
Lily knew that she had chosen the wrong time to speak to James.
"It's okay, Lils," James added, eyeing his wife wearily. Lily blinked and stepped back, deciding that she had better leave; James was looking more stressed than ever, and annoying wasn't the best thing to do at a time like this.
But, as always, her curiosity won over, and she stepped forward.
"James, do you need to talk?" she asked quietly, brushing her long, vivid red hair behind her shoulders.
"Lily, there's something you should know," James whispered, chewing his lip fearfully.
"James? I know there's something wrong. Please speak to me. I can help you, sweetheart. You know that I will always be here for you. Always."
What was I thinking? James thought. I can't tell her! That is the equivalent of suicide!
"Actually, Lils . . . I can't. I'm so, so sorry. But I can't tell you. I need to be on my own for a while, okay? I'm not breaking up with you!" James said hastily, shoving his sweaty hands behind his back, so Lily wouldn't see them sweating.
"Wh-what?" Lily breathed, blinking back tears. "James, my love, I can help you! I can!"
"No, Lily, you can't. Listen, I'll be staying at Sirius's house for a few days, all right? I just need to sort things out a bit."
"Okay . . ." Lily buried her face in her hands, sobbing.
Without attempting to comfort his wife, James stalked out of the wooden front door and Apparated; not to Sirius's house, but to Sarilee's.
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"Is there anything Brielle can do for you, Master Severus?" asked Brielle anxiously, positively bouncing with excitement.
"No, you cannot," Severus whispered, not looking at his overly excited House elf.
"All right, then, Master. Brielle will go now. Brielle will go wallow and drown in her own misery just as Master is doing—"
"Brielle!" Severus scolded sharply. Brielle flinched and backed out of the room dramatically. Severus, already in a bad mood, rolled his eyes.
It had been such a stressful day, beginning with Lily's rude departing. Why can't she see that I love her with all my heart? It's my child she's pregnant with. Mine.
But it didn't matter now. Lily had obviously chosen Potter, and if this was how she chose to be, then so be it. But Severus needed her more than anything at this moment. And, of course, just when you something more than ever, it disappears. Surely she didn't still love Potter, when Severus was then one that had been there for her ever since she was ten years old; the one that had helped her when she was in need of something, comforted her when she was distressed.
Severus didn't get it. He was hurt, confused, and overwrought with anxiety over Lily.
I need someone, he whispered to himself. More than I ever have before.
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"Sari," James said wearily, leaning against the doorframe. "I'm so sorry, my love. I don't need Lily; I need you."
This, apparently, was all that Sarilee needed to hear. She flung herself off her cream-coulored chaise longue and into James's slightly outstretched arms.
"I'm sorry," James repeated; determined to make Sarilee see how sorrowful he was.
"I forgive you, my love, just please never leave me again," Sarilee whispered dramatically. If he weren't in such a bad situation, James would have rolled his eyes. Sarilee was immensely forgiving.
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Stop crying. Stop, whispered a voice in Lily's head.
Two hours had floated past, and Lily found herself unable to calm down; James had left her. Severus had unwillingly left her. To be fair, chided the voice, you left Severus.
A blatant CRACK outside of her door causes Lily to jump and whip out her wand with a flourish; she was never wholly safe these days.
She took tentative steps towards the front door and peered through the keyhole. Much to Lily's surprise, it was none other than Severus Snape. What's he doing here? He hates me!
"Uh, I believe we need to talk," Severus said timidly once she had opened the cherry-wood door
"Yes," said Lily dimly. Deep down, she knew this was entirely her fault, but this did not stop her from feeling certain resentment towards Severus. She had had a perfect, cozy life with James, and Severus had come in and made Lily fall for him—No, said the voice. It's not his fault. It is ultimately yours. He did not make you fall in love with him; you did that on your own account.
But how was Lily supposed to know that Severus would be jumping in her life so soon? She had thought, for sure, that she would never be seeing him again after that dreadful day in her fifth year at Hogwarts, and yet, here he was. His expression was pleading and he looked the equivalent of a lost puppy.
"Lily? Are you all right?" Severus asked tentatively.
She seemed to snap out of her thoughts.
"Yeah, I'm fine, I-I just—never mind." Her voice was shaky and lower than usual.
"Can I come in?" he asked.
"Yes, of course!" said Lily, silently scolding herself for her lack of manners.
He stepped in, wearing an expression of sheer discomfort.
"I'm so sorry," Lily whispered shakily; her voice contained an air of indubitable remorse.
"It's fine, Lils, really," said Severus quickly.
"No, it's not," said Lily repentantly.
Before she could say another word, Severus pulled her close and brought his lips to hers, and Lily could affirm that it was the most absolutely perfect moment in her life.
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A/N: I know I haven't updated in a while, and I feel über-horrible.
Anyway, based off of my writing, how old would you say I was?